The Heir of Las Noches
by TheDrunkenWerewolf
Summary: Aizen's plan for Orihime is simple: to have her bear him a child to succeed him so he can give Gin the family he wants. But what happens when everything goes wrong? mostly AiGin and AiHime. A long read. Smut and drama throughout, among other things.
1. Prologue

_bleach is not mine and anyone saying so is a liar who wants me to get my arse sued. The only characters I own are the foxes Cherry and Tsuku._

This story is most likely the result of someone slipping something into my tea... but I have to love it. I find it extremely hard to summarise this one though because its become so big and complicated. That and the fact that they don't give me enough space in the little summary box for it. So just read this prologue to see what its all about. The prologue really introduces everything.

Now, this is/was my first attempt at a plotted story, and when I started this I was basically making shit up as I went until I sat down and properly planned it all out. It is my first work, but it is also quite a long story, (by the end it will be 75+ chapters total), so it will take a while to read through. It is quite a complicated plotline, and it is a bit much to take in all at once. So I don't advise trying to read it all in one go. It might implode your brain and even by my standards its a lot to get through.

Pairings: The main pairings are AiGin, AiHime, and a couple others (which I won't say here because I still want there to be _some _surprises). And there are quite a few sex scenes throughout for all pairings involved. _so if you dislike heavy smut, and/or yaoi, this is not the story for you and I advise you to not read this. __  
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**_Oh yes, warnings. Now, I may forget to warn of these things when the time comes, and knowing me I probably will forget, so please make note of the following:_**

This story includes: swearing, sex scenes (both yaoi and het), manipulation, out of character-ness (in places), some violence, mindfuck (to a certain extent), drama, mentions of self harming and depression in later chapters, sexual abuse (later on and some slight mentions in the beginning), some sad parts, death, and spoilers for the manga. And, of course, some romance and/or sap for good measure.

So it is Mature rated for good reasons.

All that said. If you aren't going to click the back button in pure horror of any of the things in that above list, do enjoy the story. All comments and constructive (that is, constructive and actually _helpful_) crits are welcomed and appreciated, but please don't comment if you don't like it. Its just a waste of both of our times. If you don't like it just leave silently and neither of us will ever speak of it again. I've come to realise this story is like marmite: you'll either love it or hate it but nothing in between. But I just don't need to be told if you don't like it.

All that said, if your not clicking away in horror at this point, do enjoy the ride~ I'll try to keep things entertaining.

* * *

**Prologue: For you, I will**

It was the middle of the night, and the moon hung lazily in the inky black sky above Las Noches, illuminating the barren white sands of the desolate hollow world around it. And somewhere deep in the bowels of the white building in which he had claimed his residence, Aizen was lying in his bed with Gin beside him, perfectly contented with his current situation.

Orihime had already been taken hostage and kept in the white building alongside Aizen's followers, and everything was moving forward with his plan... and best of all, he had his love right beside him where he belonged. In bed, with him.

Aizen smiled softly. Gin was sleeping soundly, unaware that his lover's eyes were silently watching him, quietly observing the gentle rises and falls of his chest as he slept, and watching the cool sweat drip down his bare back.

It had already been several months since Aizen had betrayed the soul society with Gin by his side, and things were already settling down into a routine – and quite an enjoyable one at that. Although they had been remarkably busy getting everything in place and assigning all the arrancar their ranks and territories within Las Noches, Aizen was free to come and lay beside his lover each night, which was quite a surreal, although undoubtedly pleasant experience.

It was a little odd to get used to at first, especially since for decades when they were in the Soul Society they couldn't even so much as spend the night together without one of them having to rush off back to his room before dawn came to avoid raising suspicion. But once they had vacated to Las Noches and things had settled down, both Aizen and Gin had very quickly adjusted to having each other's company for the mornings and the nights and pretty much just whenever else they wanted to be with each other.

It also made their lovemaking easier too. They could be intimate with each other knowing that they didn't have to wake up before sunrise just to keep up a façade to stop anybody finding out about them and their illicit love affair. That they could lie together and not worry about how the world perceived them. They could be intimate as freely and as loudly as they wanted, make love and not care who heard them. Such a contrast from when they were living in the Soul Society, when Aizen had to bite his tongue to silence his moans and Gin had to suppress his whimpers so they had no chance to become screams...

Yes, he remembered that time in the Soul society bitterly. He was glad he defected. Even if only just so they didn't have to stifle the sounds of pleasure that came from them when they fucked. It was worth it, even if just for that.

Aizen smiled to himself as he turned to look at his lover beside him. They were both naked, having been previously engaged in quite a rough and passionate act of love and had since thoroughly exhausted themselves. Aizen sighed to himself, suddenly quite tired. For although he enjoyed it, making love in the warmer summer months tended to tire them out more quickly than usual. The temperature just never seemed to drop in the Hollow World when it was summer, even after nightfall.

Aizen sighed deeply, gazing at his bedmate affectionately. He watched Gin for a little while longer, listening to him sigh somewhat frustratedly. Which – well, for Aizen, anyway – wasn't a good sign of the times. Especially after making love...

"Gin?" Aizen whispered, "Gin, are you awake?"

"huh? Oh yeah... I was just thinking..."

"Oh?" Aizen mused, somewhere in between being slightly alarmed and intrigued. Deciding to quell his rising curiosity, he started shifting himself closer to Gin, pressing up against his pale back as he spoke quietly. "you know it's never a good sign if you're lying beside me thinking instead of clinging to me in your sleep like you usually do... what's bothering you?"

Gin whimpered softly, as Aizen edged towards him beneath the bedsheets, his lover's toned, naked body warm against his own as he felt Aizen's limbs curl around him affectionately. His lips shortly following suit and laying kisses down the nape of Gin's exposed neck, making him shudder excitedly, despite his reluctance to voice his thoughts of what was keeping him awake.

"Ah- Sousuke!"

"Tell me." Aizen drawled on, silently amused that even after decades together Gin was still sensitive to even his slightest touch. "tell me what's wrong?"

"No- nothing's wrong!" Gin protested, slowly becoming flustered at his lover's touches. Blushing slightly as Aizen's hands found his chest. "Really... I'm fine."

"You are a horrible liar." Aizen said sternly, then softening his tone to gently coax Gin into talking to him. Something was obviously bothering him, because normally Gin slept curled around him like a snake. "Tell me what's wrong. If you tell me then we can talk about it..."

Gin groaned, he didn't really want to expose his thoughts, but he was beginning to think that he didn't have much of a choice. Aizen wouldn't give him any peace until he sang like a canary, and lets just say that Aizen's hands were getting a little more... insistent that Gin voiced his thoughts.

"I can keep this up all night..." Aizen carried on almost teasingly, his hands wandering about Gin's body to draw out more little whimpers from Gins throat. "So you may as well tell me."

Gin sighed. He supposed he really didn't have any choice in the matter.

"Well," Gin began, not really sure how to express the thoughts that had so often run through his head in their vivid detail. "I've been thinking about us... about the future..."

Aizen paused, not sure whether to be intrigued or concerned at what Gin was telling him. He couldn't imagine Gin having any doubts about them being together in the future - that much was for certain - but something in him knew that whatever Gin said next couldn't be good.

"And?" he prompted nervously, affectionately nuzzling into the nape of Gin's neck as he spoke. "How do you envision our future? Do you still picture us together like this?"

Gin smiled softly, it never failed to amuse him how Aizen always grew concerned whenever Gin brought up the subject of their relationship or the future. It was as if Aizen feared that the day had finally come when Gin would say he didn't want him anymore. It amused him to no end how worked up Aizen would get, but at the same time his concern was touching. He could understand Aizen's panic though, after all, the two of them had been together for decades – so the thought of being apart was too horrible to even think about.

"Of course I do." Gin said softly, his hand navigating its way to find Aizen's as they lay there quietly. "I've just been thinking is all."

"Oh.. then, what have you been thinking about?"

Gin laughed softly as Aizen kissed his neck again, quietly enjoying the intimate touches of his lover. "Oh, I've just been thinking about what it would be like if we had kids together..." he drawled on, with a little dreamlike quality to his voice, as if his thoughts were far away. "Because I wanna have a baby..."

Aizen sighed softly, his arms snaking around Gin's toned body, pulling his lover close as he spoke, his voice soft and slow as his lips ghosted across Gin's neck. "I know." he said, keeping his voice low and seductive. "And I already told you, I'm working on that."

"But it's taking too long!" Gin moaned, complaining in his frustration. "It's obviously not working cuz its taking too long for a surrogate to get pregnant."

Aizen sighed, suddenly quite frustrated. "Loli was a failure. She is barren. In fact, I would not be surprised if all of my arrancar are infertile. It seems the hokyoku took away all possibility of them having children when it gave them human form... but that's just my theory..."

Aizen didn't need to be told Gin was disappointed by this little bit of news. In fact, the sudden change in his breathing was more than enough for Aizen to know his lover was a little upset by this news that all Aizen's attempts to impregnate one of his female subordinates had failed, because of their infertility. And knowing that Gin didn't like him taking other lovers only seemed to make things seem much worse. Because he _knew _it hurt Gin to watch him hold another lover, even if it _was_ all lies. Even if it was all just pretend.

"I'll throw her aside, now she's of no use to us..." Aizen said, although more for Gin's benefit than anything else. He was keenly aware that Gin was holding onto his hand and keeping it close to his chest with both hands as he did whenever he wanted Aizen's emotional, and often physical intimacy. Aizen knew Gin was insecure like this, so he always permitted his lover to play with his hand in this way since it comforted him. Because it was like him saying he was Gin's toy. It was all meant as endearing, of course. Aizen never let any of his other lovers hold his hand this way.

"Well," Gin ventured, somewhat tentatively. "What if _I_ carry our child... ya know, through surgery? I know Szayel can make it happen, and it's not messy that way. What about if we did that?"

Aizen nuzzled into Gin's neck again, smiling softly before kissing his lover's exposed skin tenderly before he responded.

"Mmm... no."

"No? But why?"

"Men weren't designed to have babies, my love." Aizen sighed gently, trying to subtly nudge Gin away from thinking he could carry a child himself. "Its not natural..."

"But... but Szayel-san can do it." Gin protested, "I'm sure he can."

Aizen smiled. True to his nature, Gin was being persistent. And although Aizen didn't want to openly admit it, he did like the various pleading faces Gin was currently making.

"It is not that I doubt his abilities, Gin. But the Octava is a psychopath." Aizen said, a little too bluntly for Gin's taste. "I do not want him touching you."

"But don't you want me to have your children, Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, more than a little hurt by Aizen's denial of his request. "Don't you love me enough to let me have yer babies?"

Aizen sighed wearily. "I do, Gin. But I don't want him to operate on you in case it all goes wrong." Aizen continued, his voice quite calm and serious as he spoke to his distressed Gin. "I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you... I've told you this."

Gin whined again and turned to face Aizen, looking pleadingly into his eyes in the hope that Aizen would change his mind. But it was pretty clear that Aizen's resolve was solid on this matter.

"Please?" Gin asked. "Please, Sousuke... you know you love me."

"No." Aizen said firmly, not very pleased with the thought of the Octava having free access to Gin's body, even if it was just for surgical purposes. "He is a psycho and I will not have him touch you."

"Fine." Gin sighed, deciding to give in. There was just no convincing that man once his mind was set, he was just too stubborn and set in his ways. So, albeit rather reluctantly, he gave in.

"We'll do it your way, Aizen."

Aizen smiled, silently thankful that Gin was starting to see some sort of sense. It wasn't that Aizen had a problem with Gin physically carrying his children, it was just the high level of risk that bothered him. The probability of something going wrong and damaging Gin's perfect body. Or the worst case scenario, Gin dying in childbirth. He didn't know what he would do if something happened to Gin, so he decided to eliminate that possibility by putting his foot down and saying no. For no matter how much he hated disappointing his lover, the desire to protect him was just that much stronger.

"Thankyou, my love." Aizen sighed, unable to hide the relief in his voice. "I know you'd prefer not to do things my way, but I just don't want anything to go wrong or anything to happen to you..."

He paused, listening to Gin's soft breathing as he caressed his shoulder, laying more kisses down his neck as he continued.

"And besides," Aizen said, smiling into Gin's pale neck as he let his hand wander down to Gin's hip, whispering seductively into his ear. "Your body belongs to me."

Gin whimpered a little at those words. Those soft, slow, _seductive_ words. It was so hard for Gin to resist those words when they were spoken so passionately... and Aizen just knew it. Aizen just looked at him and smiled, gently brushing his nose against Gin's.

"Nobody touches my Gin." he said gently, his smile softening as he looked into Gin's eyes affectionately, gently reassuring his lover that he still held a firm place in his affections – and, more importantly, in his bed.

Gin couldn't help but smile softly. Putting on that soft smile he only ever wore for his lover in these private moments.

"I know ya care..." Gin said softly. "But tha' don't mean I like doin' things your way."

Aizen shook his head and smiled at him. "You wouldn't be my Gin if you did. I will try again with Orihime, this time, and see if we have any results."

Gin sighed quietly, not in the least bit amused. Of course, he wanted a child more than anything, but that didn't necessarily mean he liked the fact that his lover slept with different partners to give him that. In fact, if anything, he hated it. Gin was really quite possessive over Aizen, but then again, he supposed it was their rocky history that made things this way. Well, that and the fact that Aizen had taken other lovers on numerous occasions. Aizen was not known for being monogamous, after all. In all actuality, some people might even consider him a bit of a manwhore...

"Sometimes I dunno why you insist on playing these stupid chessboard games..." Gin sighed wearily. "We could just as easily go the the living world, pay for a surrogate, and do it the turkey baster way. Do you really love me, or are you just using what I want as an excuse to go and _fuck_ someone else?"

Aizen glanced at Gin, wondering how on earth he could ask such a question.

"you fool." he said, "Of course I love you. I know I _'fuck'_ other women, but with you I _make love_. There is a big difference."

Aizen paused, studying Gin's expression quietly as he looked at him.

"Don't tell me you don't know the difference."

"I know the difference..." Gin responded, "don't talk like I don't know that. Its just... I guess I'm just getting tired of sharing you, that's all."

Aizen's expression immediately softened. Gin was hurting; worried Aizen would just drop him for one of his other lovers. It was an understandable insecurity, even for Aizen.

"It will just be for a little while longer, I promise. And then, you can have me _all_ to yourself." Aizen whispered quietly, brushing the hair gently away from Gin's eyes reassuringly. "I know you don't like sharing... but, I'm doing this for you, Gin. So I can give you something you want. I'd do anything to make you happy. In my sky, you are the Moon of my Life. I would die for you, you know that..."

Gin smiled. He knew Aizen was a very private man and wasn't one for public displays of affection unless he was putting on a deceptive show for one of his women, but in these little private moments Aizen was intensely passionate. It was in these moments alone together that Aizen gave Gin the affections he craved. Complete with intimate touches, passionate kisses and words of assurance that spilled from his lips like a fountain. It was in these moments it became quite clear to Gin that Aizen practically worshipped him.

Gin laughed. "Moon of my Life? Gettin' sentimental, Aizie?"

Aizen smiled and shook his head gently. "Well, I could have called you 'Ginnikins', but I thought this was more poetic."

Gin smiled softly. Apparently Aizen never was one for following clichés, either.

"Well," Gin continued, laughing softly. Playing along with Aizen's poetic diction. "If I am the Moon of your life, then you are... My Sun and Stars."

"So you _do_ still love me, then?" Aizen smiled, questioning almost teasingly, while Gin just nodded, still smiling at his lover.

"Of course."

"Good." Aizen said, smiling tenderly at his love in his arms, "Because I was starting to get a bit worried."

"I didn' think you got worried, Aizen-sama." Gin teased, snickering not unkindly as Aizen made to kiss his neck one more time.

"I will give you a child, my love. But not just yet." Aizen whispered to him, "I just need to figure out how to make use of Orihime first..."

Gin smiled. Yes, all the wheels had to be put into place first before they could start turning. All the chess pieces had to be set up first before the game could start. Gin knew that, but right now, he had other things on his mind than observing another one of Aizen's infamous games of mind-chess.

"Don't worry about that for now." Gin said, drawling on in a more seductive manner. Gently brushing Aizen's lips with his own to invite a deep kiss. "Play your silly game tomorrow. For now, just... make love to me, My Sun and Stars."

Gin slowly let their lips collide, and let his tongue taste his lover for a slow, intense kiss. After which Gin found himself laying on his back, staring up at Aizen lovingly.

"Oh, with pleasure." Aizen smiled, watching Gin square his shoulders beneath him before he let Aizen's hand caress the inside of his thigh before parting his legs ready for him. Yes, Aizen thought to himself, they would make love now. The game could begin in the morning.

* * *

Aaand, i'll let you imagine the rest. Just have some hints of citrus for now, for the real lemons you will have to wait. There will be plenty of time for lemons and re-worked lemons. Besides, i make a point of not having smut in my first chapters of anything. This was really just a setup for clarification and i didn't think it really needed a full on lemon.

This prologue is full of sap. But, for me, it is a much better introduction for all the plot to come. It sets up everything so much better. Admittedly its a bit weird having Aizen be this... loving... but its part of the story setup so theres not much i can do about it. It fits in its odd little way. Plus, i needed him to actually have a reason for playing his mind games instead of just for entertainment purposes. I think i will leave writing _that_ Aizen to the professionals. Or for when i've had more practice at it.

Ahh~ Whiny/insecure Gin makes me smile. I dunno why, he just does. I wanted to explore their relationship a little bit and delve into some of the insecurities that lurk in there. I thought Gin wouldn't quite accept everything going on, so i had to have Aizie reassure him.

My fave part though, has to be Aizen getting sappy near the end. The little bit of dialogue where they call each other "moon of my life" and "my sun and stars" is my little homage to George Martin's 'Game of Thrones' (which has been turned into a tv series, which was where I first saw it), where Drogo and Daenerys give each other those little nicknames. I saw it and because i thought it was poetic, i thought i'd use it for this. Well, i like it if no-one else does.

Anyway, i'll try to keep things moving with this, especially with the re-work of some of the earlier scenes I want to re-do.

Oh, yes, and that turkey baster line isn't meant to be taken seriously, by the way. I apologise right now if i've ruined your images of turkey basters. I don't use them so i don't have this problem.


	2. You have been summoned

The re-worked ch1. Yes, this sets up the game more effectively. This should flow straight from the prologue now. And have better writing in general. Its been such a long time since i was at this point, so it was tough to remember everything going on. But the overall result of this re-work pleases me.

Anyway, lets start this thing.

* * *

Act I – Let the games begin.

**Chapter 1: You have been summoned**

Some time had passed since Orihime was brought to Huecco Mundo and held prisoner within the walls of Las Noches, and she was already beginning to adjust to her new life as Aizen's captive. She didn't necessarily _like _her new life in Las Noches, but she was beginning to adjust to it in either case. Living in Las Noches was just so far removed from the life she was used to living in the human world, so vastly different, that if one were to list all the differences between the living world and Las Noches, that list would seem endless. The lack of colour, for example. The lack of fresh air. Are the sun, or lack of sun. The solitary confinement. Indeed, there was a locked for Orihime to get used to.

She sighed quietly to herself as she sat down on her bed, silently gazing out of her little barred window at the almost full moon hanging above in the inky black sky. Bars on the window... as if this place could feel like even _more _of a prison. She did wish that they hadn't put bars on her window-was she going to do? Escape? Even if she did try and escape, where could she go? She was stuck here. And she couldn't go home, not after she had practically defected in come here willingly. She would be shunned and treated like a traitor, so what was the point in going home?

No, she was stuck here. In her own little white room, with nothing to do but stare at the beautiful moon and watch it become full, wishing that there weren't any bars on the window to ruin the view, and hope to God that her friends would all be spared from harm now that she was in Aizen's clutches.

"Yes," she told herself, "they will all be fine without me. They have to be. Ulquiorra-sama said that Aizen-sama wouldn't hurt them if I came here and agreed to be captured."

She took another deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to block out the series of images of Aizen coldheartedly taking her friends lives - taking Ichigo's live. Taking the life of the man she loved and said she would love for five lifetimes, unable to stop her hands from trembling as she pictured it.

She shuddered. "No, everything is going to be fine." she whispered sternly to herself, "I have to think positive; I can't keep thinking that my friends are going to die."

She shoved the images from her mind and opened her eyes again, quite the resulting herself to stop thinking such things when a loud knock on the door jolted her from her thoughts. It was Ulquiorra.

"Woman, I am coming in. Please make sure you a decent."

"Y- yes," she called out meekly, trying not to show him any weakness in her voice, although failing quite miserably doing so. "I'm decent."

Ulquiorra turned the door handle and quietly opened the door, stepping smoothly into the room to greet her.

"Come with me, woman." he said, in his usual stoic tone "Aizen-sama has summoned you."

Orihime's heart sank. Saying that she hated Aizen would probably be a bit of an overstatement – because Orihime wasn't sure if she could hate _anybody –_ but he was a man who frightened her. She really didn't want to go and see him, but she knew she had no choice but to go. After all, she was his captive, and whether she liked it or not she had to do is he said.

"Yes, Ulquiorra-sama." she meekly replied, although there was no hint of enthusiasm in her voice. She was reluctant to go, but still she got up and followed Ulquiorra down the long white corridors of Las Noches, towards the room where Aizen-sama was waiting for her. She shivered. These corridors were always so cold, there was no sense of heat at all to be found anywhere here. It was just cold _all_ the time. She hated it. She just wanted to go home, Ichigo and her friends, to her best friend Tatsuki, back to her warm little apartment, and back to her normal life before any of this shit ever began.

But she knew that was impossible. She didn't have a time machine to send her back or little red shoes that would send her home, so she knew that she was stuck here. And besides, she was their prisoner now; she had sworn herself into Aizen-sama's servitude to spare her friends and her love from his wrath. So she had no choice but to obey.

The walked down the plain white corridor seemed endless, and the thought of her meeting with Aizen at the end of it build but he me with dread, so much so that she fell behind or following Ulquiorra, which didn't go unnoticed.

"Stop dragging your feet, woman." he said calmly, watching as but she fell into step beside him again. Truthfully, she feared Aizen, but then again everybody did. But for Orihime, simply being in the same room as him drained the very energy out of her. It paralysed her. Made her sick with fear. She didn't know how any of Aizen's followers could stand it.

"Woman, did I not tell you to stop dragging your feet?" Ulquiorra repeated, he cold voice making her shudder as it bounced and echoed round the walls.

"Yes Ulquiorra-sama." she squeaked, picking up the pace again to match his. Having fallen behind again.

Ulquiorra sighed, beginning to grow impatient. He knew very well that Aizen-sama did not like to be kept waiting, and he had seen many other arrancar punished severely for their tardiness when they were summoned, and it was a fate he wished to avoid.

Now, Aizen was not well known for his temper, but when vexed his wrath was merciless. Ulquiorra new Aizen did not tolerate excuses, and the fourth espada did not want to be on the receiving end of Aizen's violent temper. Not after the last time, anyway...

Yes, Aizen Sousuke did have a temper, a dark side... he just chose not to reveal that he had one. The calm, cool, outer exterior he chose to show the rest of the world - the mask he put on to fool everyone - was truly the definition of the word 'deception'.

When the both of them had reached their destination, Ulquiorra stopped and knocked on the large white door, he gave his charge a quick glance to make sure that she looked presentable enough for Aizen-sama's eyes, and then they waited for permission to enter the room. When that came, Ulquiorra gave her one last look.

"You may go in now... Inoue." he said, his still calm and stoic, emotionless voice echoing and bouncing around the walls again and into the whiteness of the corridors, his emerald coloured eyes staring right through her and ignoring the look of anxiety on her face as she nodded to him.

"Yes sir." she muttered, quietly screwing together all of her courage to pushed the door open and face the man that she was supposed to call her king.

* * *

opening chapters are always so hard, but this one aint half bad. I like Orihime when she's getting all worked up about Aizen. It makes things interesting. Of course, we know what Aizen wants from her, but she doesn't know that yet. I plan to develop Orihime's character a bit more this time around, so it should be clearer how she feels about being dragged into Aizen's little game.

I don't really have much to say, but I'll keep the chapters coming.


	3. Please take a seat

**Chapter 2: Please take a seat**

"Ah, so you've come, Orihime." Aizen said warmly, smiling at her as he sat and watched her from his marble chair, a cup of tea in his hand.

"Y- yes..."

"Although, you are a little later than expected."

"My apologies Aizen-sama, she seemed a little reluctant to come" the espada answered for her in his usual stoic tone, his response to the remark making his lord and master raise an eyebrow slightly.

"Oh, is that right Orihime?"

She averted her eyes from his, not wanting to let their eyes meet. Not wanting to let herself look vulnerable, like a deer in the headlights of a car. No, she refused to look him even in the face. She feared she would look weak and that he would take advantage of this. Aizen was able to read people perfectly, and all it would take was for him to get a proper look at her face and her resolve would be reduced to ashes.

Just how late had she been?

No, she wasn't late, not late at all. Aizen was simply testing to see if he would get a reaction.

Yes, he was skilled at evaluating people and reading their body language but this woman still remained a mystery to him. She always hid her emotions, so whenever they spoke it always seemed like more of a one way conversation. Whenever he asked her things she would give the shortest possible answers in a monotone voice. Politely of course. She knew her place after all and that was what he valued. She was loyal, obedient, and fitted the criteria perfectly for the purpose he had set aside for one with such qualities. She existed for his purpose. She belonged to him in both mind and body to serve him. But the reason she was so introverted in his presence still perplexed him, and as such he could not fathom any possible explanation for this behaviour. She seemed so shy and timid around him, even going as far as to try and avoid speaking with him whenever possible. Her body language and expression had been analysed from every possible angle and every seemingly minute action she made had shown that she clearly detested him.

Or so it would seem. Looking at this, one could simply draw the conclusion from observing her during their time together that she clearly disliked him. Well, he was the one responsible for her friends nearly dying, not to mention the reason that one of them was nearly executed. So naturally she would appear uncomfortable with him but nonetheless he required her for a use that would be revealed to her (and the reader) in the course of due time.

But still, Aizen could not fathom a logical explanation for the reason she seemed to become so tense whenever he came into the room.

He was always kind to her. He never raised his voice, he never went to hit her... no, he never even raised his spiritual pressure. He was always polite and acted the gentleman around her. So why would she act this way? It was understandable that she would need some time to adjust to serving a new master and learn her new place in huecco mundo, but enough time had passed now and in truth Aizen was growing impatient of her inability to relax when in his company. It would, indeed, make attaining his goals more difficult.

"Please take a seat, Orihime-chan."

He gestured warmly and open handedly to the young girl, sitting cross legged on his chair in a very masculine yet regal fashion. Before him was an empty chair perfectly identical to his, and on the rounded table before them were two steaming cups of fresh tea. One of which was sweetened to the young girl's liking.

She hesitated. It was an open invitation. Or should I say, it was a request that was merely disguised as one. He said 'please' making it seem like an warm gesture of hospitality but he immediately followed this with the direct order of 'take a seat', making it seem as though she has the choice to refuse the offer, but she knows better than this. The king was good at manipulating, and phrases that gave direct orders were often articulated in such a manner that they seemed like an invitation to do something. If he wanted someone to sit, it would be phrased as 'would you care to sit?' which makes his request appear more subtle. So, any wise subordinate of Aizen when offered a seat would take it. If they refused then, he would insist that they take a seat and often the arrancar – not wanting to anger their master – would oblige.

So little Orihime silently obeys, nodding and addressing in the formal '-sama' before taking her seat before him in the most amazing display of tact, grace and femininity one could ever see. She knew that she had to be calm, quiet and obedient during her stay here. And to do as she was instructed by beings that had more power than she could ever dare to dream of. She was merely the servant of creatures that had the ability to kill her with a simple flick of the wrist if they so desired. So Orihime knew that she had to be cool and compliant, bending like bamboo in the wind for the 'king' who ruled with nothing but fear. And for he who held the power to kill with a glance. She was merely their human slave – their prisoner.

The footsteps of her sandals echoed around the room. It was so quiet in that room that even the softest sounds could be heard. One could literally hear a pin hit the floor in the deathly silence that filled the atmosphere in that very room. She walked over to the ominous and plain white chair that was set out for her, maintaining her calm and seemingly effortless composition, and sat down gracefully upon the large seat. Almost looking like Alice in a wonderland that had been drained of all colour.

"Ulquiorra, would you leave us for a moment?" Aizen said, turning to Ulquiorra, "And also, this is a private meeting so could you please stand guard outside the door?"

"yes Aizen-sama"

Once the espada had left the room, Aizen took a sip of his tea. Orihime followed suit, not wanting to seem rude in not accepting the drink he had prepared for her. Her dainty hands holding the cup to tentatively lift it up to her lips and drink.

"Now, Orihime, I do apologise for calling upon you on such short notice, but there is something that has been vexing me lately... and it concerns you."


	4. Let me be frank

**Chapter 3: Let me be frank**

"M- me? Does it really have to do with me?" Orihime stammered, both sounding and looking increasingly worried. As far as she could remember she had not done anything wrong. And neither had she – to the best of her recollection – offended the king in any fashion.

"Yes"

Aizen just nodded in agreement, while placing both the cup and saucer down onto the table, allowing for a momentary silence before responding. Analysing the situation again in his mind and paying a close attention to the way she moved and the tone of her voice. Still trying in vain to determine the reason behind her actions. And the reason as to why she was always so nervous around him.

She was shaking now, a genuine sign of fear. Clearly she feared his wrath and was confused as to why he had summoned her here, never mind the reason as to why she thought she had angered him.

But fear was not something that he wanted to inspire here. It was far from it.

She looked down into the tea swirling around in the cup that was in her small and delicate hands and resting on her lap. She refused to look at him. Even if he would punish her for not doing so, she would not give in. She had to be strong. She would not break down before him. Even though the tears were fighting to fall from her eyes in fear for his wrath. But would he really punish her for being rude?

She had obeyed every order given to her, and not once had she objected. She was always polite to him and had never showed him any sign of disrespect. None that she knew of anyway.

"wh- what did I do wrong Aizen-sama?"

"Well my dear, it is about your behaviour whenever you are in my presence."

Aizen was going to get answers. Even if he had to force them out of her. Draw them out of her one by one. Slowly and intensively looking at her as she gazed away from him, trembling while looking deeply into the tea as it swirled. Wanting and wishing that it would swallow her. She wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else but here.

"Orihime, can you not even bring yourself to look at me?"

She wanted to cry. She had angered the king and now she was going to be punished. She did not want to be here, she really just wanted to go home. She was scared and afraid. Both of Aizen and what he would do to her, and now he was going to punish her. The tears so badly wanted to fall but she did not let them. She would not let them. She could never let them – not here. She had to be strong here.

He knows that she is afraid of him. He does not want her to be, but she is.

"Do not worry, you haven't done anything wrong."

"I haven't?"

"No. I have summoned you here because I wanted to talk to you."

He took another sip of his tea, again contemplating the situation. He had a thoughtful expression on his face as he constantly asked himself how exactly he was going to eloquently articulate his next request. His greatest fear at this particular moment in time was how this request would affect her loyalty to him in the future.

He paused again, allowing himself a moment to think. He knew he had to phrase this next part carefully if he was ever going to get her to comply with his wishes. Because one mistake now would only make it even more difficult to attain his goals, so he knew he had to voice this with tact.

"I have been here for a while now, and I have been thinking." he started, his voice soft and gentle as he spoke to her. "That if I were to die, there would be no one to inherit my will after I'm gone. I know that it is highly unlikely that I will die, but the possibility of that happening is not at zero percent, meaning that there is still a chance that it might come to happen."

"_What is he telling me all this for?" _she thought to herself, wondering what sort of plan he had formulated in his mind as she sat there listening to him with the cup of tea in her hands.

Orihime knew the answers to none of these questions he was asking, and therefore could only listen on as Aizen made his point. She difn't know whether to trust his statement that she had done nothing wrong or not, but at this point she was willing to believe anything that calmed her down and soothed her fear of him. She knew that Aizen had used this kind of manipulation before, phrasing things and articulating them in such a manner that anyone would believe they were safe right up until the last second, when he would turn on them and become cold and merciless. Displaying his oh so rare temper to them for their misbehaviours for those few moments up until they died before recomposing himself only minutes later from his rage.

Indeed, he was cold, calculating and deceptive. And so very skilled at this thing we know as 'manipulation'.

"Let me be frank my dear," he then said, bringing Orihime out of her little reverie. "I have a need of you, a... request if you will."

She looked up at him, and Aizen paused to note her reaction to this. He knew that now he has to display a very calm disposition to what he is about to propose next, and pose this in the most tactful manner possible.

"What is it, Aizen-sama?" she asked quietly, causing a little smile to creep across Aizen's face as he looked at her.

"Well," he smiled, trying to suppress a little laugh at how easy all this was. "The reason for which I have brought you here is because of the fact that I am in need of an heir."

She swallowed hard, and Aizen knew, then, that he had to phrase this next part very, very carefully if he was ever to get what he wanted – her cooperation.


	5. I lower the boom

**Chapter 4: I lower the boom **

Aizen took in a deep breath. This next question had to be phrased very carefully now. Even one mistake could lead to the ruination of both the trust and the loyalty that he had built up in her, and the hatred she felt for him would only grow if he tried to get what he wanted from her through means of force. He really abhorred even thinking about doing that. He would do it if it came down to it and if there was no other option but to do so, but he would rather not. He needed her, but in reality he did not wish to force her into anything. She had to _agree._

He took in another deep breath, allowing himself to phrase this next question in his mind before he spoke aloud. Letting the words form in his minds eye before speaking them. Aizen was never the nervous type, but something seemed to make him a little tense when he made his request to the young girl – no, the young woman - that was sitting opposite him.

"Orihime dear, I know this may be a little presumptuous of me to ask this of you, but I must confess that I have never thought of anyone else to do this for me."

"wh – what do you mean? What are you asking of me Aizen-sama?"

Okay, now, this was it. This was the moment when he would reveal all. The very reason for which she was brought to huecco mundo would be spoken of. It was the moment that he would set his plan into motion and all would fall into place. Hopefully.

But for this to work he needed to maintain his calm composition, which was proving to be quite difficult.

"Orihime, will you bear me a child?"

"Wh – what?"

"You heard me."

Her eyes widened with pure horror at those words. A cold icy sweat broke out all over her body as her face suddenly dropped and her composure shattered before him. She was showing all of the obvious clinical signs of fear now, but this was indeed – as it was phrased – a question. Meaning that she had every right to refuse, but words failed her. She could only sit and stare in a state of pure shock. At first she thought that this was some sort of joke, but his serious expression proved her otherwise. She could only sit there and tremble, her skin slowly becoming as white as the walls of Las Noches, growing ever more fearful each second. Her very heart racing as her mind became filled with visions that were not in the least bit desired.

"a – a child?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"You – you want me to..."

"Did I stutter?"

He abruptly injected, lowering the cup of tea away from his mouth, his tone showing a slight annoyance at her reaction before continuing. True, he had not expected a positive reaction, it was simply too much to hope for, but given the feelings she still had for the Kurosaki boy and her deep seated fear of him, her reaction was really not at all surprising.

"I am sure you understand what it is I am asking, Orihime."

She swallowed hard, trying to find her voice again. He had caught her off guard, waited for the precise moment when her resolve was at its weakest. When she had become distracted with thoughts of her friends and her old home. And it was for that fraction of a second that her resolve was exposed. She was left vulnerable and unguarded, and it was the perfect opportunity for him.

She had to steady herself, she couldn't breathe. Every inch of her trembled and rattled the cup in her hands. She needed to think. What should she say to this? No, better yet, was he really serious about this?

He could see her shaking.

"I know that this must be quite a shock to you, but I can assure you that I am quite intent on this. I want a child Orihime."

A look of concern overcame his face as he noted the sweat pouring down her forehead. He gently set his own tea down and rose from his chair, walking quietly over to her, almost kneeling beside her as he placed a protective hand onto hers, taking the tea from her and setting it back in its place onto the saucer on the table in front of her.

"You're shaking. Do you fear me that much?"

A slight whimper escaped her. He let his expression soften as he looked at her, letting it melt away into a gentle smile. After all, he had to be at least a _little _sensitive to her feelings about this. She was still quite innocent.

"Do not worry," he said, smiling softly at her, "I will not pressure you into anything. Please don't feel you have to decide right away."


	6. Please think about it

**Chapter 5: Please think about it**

Standing outside the door and in the empty white corridor was not in the least bit entertaining for Ulquiorra. Especially when faced with the curiosity of both Grimmjow and Noitora. And when Yammy decided to show up as well, that just made it a whole lot worse for him.

"What are they talkin' about in there? You know 'bout this Ulquiorra?"

"I assure you that it is of no concern to you Grimmjow."

"yeah, Aizen-sama's spending some quality time with his new little pet, so leave 'em alone will ya"

"Thankyou Noitora"

"What're they doin' in there?"

"Ugh, Yammy, you were told to - "

They were all listening to the muffled voices coming from the other side of the door. Trying in vain to hear what was being said. Aizen had made the walls thick to avoid eavesdroppers such as these. Much to the disappointment of the espada who were all standing in silence, just listening and contemplating all of the possible areas of conversation that were, or could be, under discussion.

At least, that was until the door was opened and Aizen made an appearance. The large white door hitting the wall as it swung open, making each of the espadas, excluding Ulquiorra, jump slightly.

However, Ulquiorra did flinch a little when he noticed Orihime's limp body in Aizen's arms as he swept down the halls with her.

"Ulquiorra," Aizen ordered, "please come with me."

He was calm. Not angry as they had anticipated. Something must have happened, since normally Aizen would have been furious with them all for eavesdropping on their conversation. But this was not a normal circumstance.

"_Just _Ulquiorra." he added, as he caught sight of all of the other espadas present about to react and follow as well in their excitement. The espadas, he thought, had little understanding of privacy.

"What happened Aizen-sama?" Ulquiorra asked as he hurried after Aizen down the hallway.

"It appears she fainted." Aizen said, carrying Orihime to his bedroom and laying her in his bed to recover, pulling the duvet over her to make her more comfortable. "I want you to watch over her with me until she wakes up."

"Yes, Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra answered. "But why did she fainy, Aizen-sama?"

"That is not your concern." Aizen replied. "Your only concern should be Orihime."

...

Slowly waking up Orihime found herself to be in bed. Well, it was somebody's bed. She didn't know whose it was, but then again everything was still hazy. Slowly starting to open her eyes, she started to hear voices. Even though everything was still unclear and her vision was blurring, she could hear two faint voices calling out to her as everything steadily came back into focus. The room was dark, none of the lights were on, and the only thing illuminating the room enough to see was the full moon of Huecco Mundo.

"Inoue... Inoue..."

"Wake up woman"

Aizen was softly calling out to her, as was Ulquiorra. She didn't remember what had happened. All she could gather was that she was summoned by Aizen for something, but she didn't really remember anything after that point.

"Ah, you're awake."

"Ugh... what happened?"

"You passed out and Aizen-sama had to carry you."

"My head hurts."

"You also banged your head."

He placed his hand on her forehead. She was still warm. But then again Ulquiorra had cold hands.

"Aizen-sama..." she groaned, "what happened?"

"Will she be alright Ulquiorra?" Aizen asked, slightly concerned, for he had never dealt with a person fainting before.

"It seems so. What did you say to her Aizen-sama?"

Aizen did not answer this. He felt there was no need. His only concern now was her.

"Ulquiorra, can you bring us some tea, I'm sure it would make Orihime feel better."

"As you wish."

Both of them watched Ulquiorra slowly stride out of the dark room. Distorting the light somewhat as he left, making the moonlight catch Aizen's now softer expression.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... are you alright, Orihime?"

"Yes. But, Aizen-sama, I -"

"Hush now, you need rest."

"I – I'm sorry - ah"

"What did I just say?"

She decided that now would be a good time to be quiet. Averting her eyes from his as he smiled at her, like before.

"But I hope you know that I am quite serious about this." he said, suddenly quite serious again.

He knew that he could not expect a definite answer right now. So he decided to wait. Give her time. He rose to leave, his footsteps echoing around and into the silence as he reached the doorway, turning to look at her before leaving.

"Please think about it."

He closes the door behind him, leaving her alone in the darkness with her thoughts. She had time. All the time she wanted.

"_Bearing Aizen Sousuke's... children?" _

That was what he'd asked that of her. She kept thinking and thinking about it. Asking herself that same question over and over again. Those thoughts kept playing in her mind, plaguing her.

What should she do? Should she refuse? But then what about Ichigo? She would be betraying the one she loved. Not to mention all of her friends – she would be betraying them as well.

But then again, what about herself? Did she really want to give herself truly to him?

Did she really? It wasn't as though she had much of a choice though. But wasn't that why she came here in the first place? She had come to save them, and to keep them from getting hurt. And Aizen was not above violence, that she had learned simply from observation. And as she had said so herself, she existed for him and his will.

But what of her own emotions? What about them? She had never considered herself in this. She had always put others before herself. So maybe it was time she thought of herself before deciding. It was a request after all, and as Aizen had said so, he would give her some time to think about it. But, did she really know him all that well? It hadn't been that long since she had come here, but Aizen did feel that she should have adjusted by now. But nonetheless she still felt uncomfortable.

Why?

She didn't have the answers to any of these questions, not right now. She needed more time to contemplate the situation. But this was Sousuke Aizen we are talking about, a master manipulator. Deft in the art of getting what he wanted without raising a finger. A man who uses his mind as a weapon. A psychologist, a mentalist.

But as she'd seen before, many times with the other arrancar - he'd said please.

It was phrased as a question.

And she had every right to refuse.

So why didn't she?


	7. You stole from me

Lyrics throughout are 'Wandering child' from Phantom of the Opera. I was listening to it and I couldn't help myself...

* * *

**Chapter 6: You stole from me**

Many days had passed since then. It was late in the evening, and once again Orihime found herself sitting on one of the balconies of Las Noches watching the artificial sun slowly descend below the horizon. She was looking out onto the vast desert of Huecco Mundo and thinking. Thinking about everything. Everything that had happened to her since she was brought here, and of her friends and her home. But surprisingly, this time she was not thinking about Ichigo.

She was thinking about _him_. Her captor, her master, her... dare she even say it, her potential lover.

_Phantom:  
Wandering child,  
So lost, so helpless  
Yearning for my guidance_

That was when he'd seen her. Sitting there deep in thought with quite a serious expression on her face. He really didn't want to interrupt her right now, she needed to think. Time, that was what she needed. He didn't wish to force her into anything, so he needed her to have a clear head before making the decision as to whether or not she would give herself to him.

She was so lost, so helpless. She really did not know what to do. He knew of her feelings for the Kurosaki boy, but did Ichigo ever return those feelings? Probably not. And maybe somewhere deep inside she knew that, but was still holding out some small sliver of hope that he would. It really was quite pitiful...

This sight had caught him as he was walking past, carrying his tea, on the way to his quarters and so he had decided to watch her. Just for a moment.

Maybe he'd made some small sound because after a few minutes of being watched she snapped out of her train of thought and started looking around to see if anybody was there.

_Christine:  
Angel or father?  
Friend or phantom?  
Who is it there, staring?_

_Phantom:  
Have you forgotten your Angel?_

"I've brought you some tea." he said as he slowly stepped over and out onto the balcony, sitting on the white bench next to her and calmly setting his mug down onto the floor beside her feet.

"What's wrong? You seem distracted."

Again it was a statement of the obvious. Of course she was distracted.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

_Christine:  
Angel, oh, speak  
What endless longings  
Echo in this whisper?_

He wants to talk?

Why?

Again, his expression softens.  
"If you talk about your problems, then maybe it will make you feel better..."

That was true. Talking did help, but discussing what was now currently plaguing her mind would be both humiliating and uncomfortable. Should she tell him how she really felt? That she was afraid, that she was nervous and full of angst? Would that have made her seem weak? Give him an opportunity to expose her weakness again?

And could she really trust him enough to tell him all of that?

No, she couldn't _really _tell him. She couldn't tell him anything. Those feelings that she had could never be told.

_Phantom:  
Too long you've wandered in winter  
Far from my fathering gaze..._

"If you don't want to talk to me, then that's fine."

Of course, it _wasn't_ fine. She had been avoiding him. It was hurtful that she had chosen to shut herself off from him. Not even converse with him. But she'd always been so sad. Ever since she came here, he hadn't seen even one smile from her. She was out of his reach, and he knew it. But still, he hated to see her never smiling, never happy, never with anything but a melancholy look in her eyes. How painful a sight to witness. She was a woman. A strong and breaking woman.

Maybe he was playing on her feelings of guilt for shutting him out, knowing how kind hearted and warm she was, and how she didn't really like excluding people from conversations. Maybe that was what made her break. Or maybe she just needed somebody to talk to and understand. But either way, in the end, it was probably all to much for her to hold in any more. She took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.

"Ai – Aizen-sama... I, I've been thinking about this a lot... and... "

Her feelings were betraying her now. She was caving, breaking down the barrier before him. Loneliness breaks people. Even he knew that.

"I think that if... I... and you... and... bu- but, Kurosaki-kun..."

Why was she stuttering? She was supposed to stay strong. If not for herself then for her friends.

He was her enemy, her captor, so why was she feeling like this? So weak and helpless? Was this all part of his manipulation? To make her feel guilt? Maybe even feel sorry for him for shutting him out? Or was she simply just too kind hearted? Or was she just softening to him after having spent some length of time here?

So many questions that had no answers. So many strange feelings swirling around in the pit of her chest.

Why was she afraid of him so? Why?

Was it just the fear of intimacy?

Was it inexperience?

Guilt? Fear for her friends?

Or was it that she felt that she would be betraying her feelings for Ichigo. That her very emotions were betraying themselves? Or was it something different?

"It's quite alright to feel this way... you're still pure after all. And I know it is a big step for you. And I am not an uncaring man."

_Christine:  
Wildly my mind beats against you..._

He was being so understanding. He seemed to know what she was feeling. What thoughts were going through her mind and that she needed somebody to talk to. She had been on her own for too long. Not having anyone care. She had been completely on her own, having abandoned all of her friends.

Maybe she was softening.

She knows he is her enemy, but just having somebody say that they care, that they understand, was some small light in an otherwise very dark place.

He was looking into her eyes now. He had such feral eyes. Eyes that were long ago hidden by his glasses. To her surprise, she somehow found them to be quite comforting. Accompanied by one his more tender expressions and an affectionate smile.

"You've wandered in the winter for too long..."

_Phantom:  
You resist..._

_Phantom/Christine:  
Yet your/the soul obeys..._

He was drawing closer now, pulling her in with his hypnotising stare. This moment lasting eternities. She wants to push him away. Her mind wants to say 'no', to refuse him, but for some reason she doesn't.

She can't.

He moves ever closer to her, not saying anything, breathing so slowly. Neither of them speaks a word. And for that one long moment, all was still.

_Phantom/Christine:  
Angel of Music,  
You/I denied me/you  
Turning from true beauty  
Angel of Music  
Do not shun me/My protector  
Come to your/me strange Angel..._

She then found that he was kissing her, quite passionately. His tongue exploring the depths of her mouth and she could do nothing to stop him. He had closed his eyes and let his lips meet hers. Slowly, softly, tenderly. Making her heart race and her mind spin. If she were not sitting then her knees would have probably buckled under her.

She had finally broken.


	8. And thus she breaks

**Chapter 7: And thus she breaks **

He was kissing her. And with what passion and intensity did he do so.  
His tongue was exploring the very depths of her mouth and rolling over hers in ways that she'd never before imagined possible. Her heart was pounding. Her head was spinning. Her mind went reeling.

He was kissing her.

She knew that she was blushing. Her eyes had shot open as his tongue had entered her mouth. Taking control of her very body with that one simple act. She could see him slowly close his eyes as she felt his tongue move over hers. Slowly, steadily, softly. That one tress of his hair falling between his eyes from its place on his head. But he didn't care.

He was kissing her.

A soft moan escapes her before she can even stop it. She had never kissed anybody before, let alone him. Never did she even _think_ that she would be kissing _him. _He broke away momentarily to let her breathe before moving in again. He didn't seem to mind the gentle noises coming from her. She could hear him breathing, giving out the most quiet moans of pleasure as he completely lost himself in the moment. Immersing himself and his entire being within this one moment. There was no-one around. No-one to interrupt. No-one to stop and stare. There was just the both of them, sitting there, alone as the sun set beside them. Her eyes now slowly closing.

He was kissing her.

The taste of him was somewhat sweet. Strangely sweet. Not bitter tasting at all. At least, not like she'd thought so. But this was the first tongue to have entered her mouth. The first kiss. That one first passionate locking of tongues which was long ago thought to have been more of an awkward swapping of saliva with Ichigo, but never such a deep moment with _him. _Never in a hundred lifetimes did she think it would be him. With this man's tongue dancing with her own. Never Sousuke Aizen.

But he was kissing her.

Her body goes limp, letting itself fall deeper into this moment. Slipping further into his embrace. Moving closer towards him. Feeling every fibre shake within it. His calming scent filling her nostrils. She doesn't fight back. She can't fight back. Her body will not let her. Her _mind _does not let her.  
It was his natural scent. Unchanged and unaltered. It was surprising that how no matter one changed, their scent would always stay the same. She'd caught his scent before, on the breeze when in the soul society. It was no different back then. It was still the same now.

Even as he was kissing her.

Nothing needed to be whispered. Nothing needed to be said. It was not awkward like she thought it would be. He knew what he was doing, how to goad her, when to guide her. When to gently lean in to her. When not to force the tongue, letting her move into the kiss naturally. He never forced it.  
His hand moved up to her cheek, feeling the softness of her skin, pulling her tenderly closer into his arms. Relaxing her into it. Slowly, steadily, gently. Making each movement natural. His hand moves down and onto her neck. Taking in this moment. This one perfect moment. Breathing so slowly, letting his guard down.

He was kissing her.

And when he finally broke away, when his lips finally did leave hers. After he'd left her, looked deeply into her eyes, smiled and said good night. She was breathless. She couldn't speak. Utterly shocked and lost for words. Overcome by everything. Feeling all of those strange emotions again swirling in the deep pit of her chest. All the emotion, all that feeling. And for all that he made her feel, for all that he made her think.

Was simply because of the fact that he'd kissed her. And taken her very breath away.

Leaving her to think on the situation and what he'd asked of her.


	9. A friend in need

**Chapter 8: A friend in need**

Aizen was walking back to his room, quite, if not very satisfied with himself. It was late, not too late, but still quite late in the evening now and the sun had only just gone below the horizon. His footsteps echoed as he walked down the staircase to his room. He often wondered what she was thinking. Well, he would now. More so after what he had just done to her. Namely kissing her.

As soon as he got into his room, he took off his coat and threw it onto the back of the chair. Quite lazily just removed it and tossed it aside. Much like he does with all his things. He takes a deep breath, and sighs deeply. It is not a sigh of displeasure, neither a sigh of annoyance. It is simply a sigh of contented tiredness. Life was going smoothly for him right at this moment.

Now Aizen's room was quite simple in design. Nothing there existed but the bare minimum. Meaning that there was nothing there that was unessential. Nothing there that was unnecessary. Not a single item out of place. That was how he liked it. One could tell from the design and layout of this room and the objects within it that Aizen is a man that pays a very close attention to the most minute of details.

He has only been standing there for but a moment, when he suddenly turns around. Snapping at the sound of an all too familiar tone. And the sight of an infamous smile. One he knows all too well.

_Well, well, well… don't you look pleased with yerself…"  
_It pauses. Only a short pause to let him, Aizen, realise who it is. Just long enough a pause to gather thought. And to state something obvious.

"_But if ya ask me, ya look kinda troubled." _

"You always were one to see through masks…"

"_Mm"_

The other smiled. Giving Sousuke the famous Cheshire cat like grin.

"_But I gotta say…" _the voice continues. Speaking with such sarcastic wit now. _"She did look like she were enjoyin' it. You mus' be one hell of a kisser."_

"I see you were… _observing_ then…" Aizen then states, showing only a faint sign of annoyance in his voice. Emphasising this as a statement of the obvious. He knew full well that he was being watched.

"Having fun were we Gin?"

The other's smile just widened. _"Do I really gotta answer that question?"_

"You know Gin, you really should learn to mask your reitsu."

"_Oh, I wasn' hiding." _The Ichimaru then stated, placing his mug of tea onto the table on his immediate right, next to the chair he was sitting on. He slouched when he sat, making him seem casual. Gin was never one to sit up straight as Aizen did in chairs. He tilts his head slightly, allowing the smile to fade and produce a puppy like expression now. Not quite frowning, but a look of inquisitive sadness.

"_So, are ya gonna tell me what's botherin' ya?"_

Aizen just smiles at him. Savouring this moment before he is informed of the exact reasons why he was troubled right now. Like himself, Gin was deft at reading people. Maybe even more so. But only time would tell of whether or not trust would be an issue.

"_Now if my guess is correct, yer thinkin' 'bout doin' the deed. But, seems ya dunno how exactly to get 'er to let ya."_

Aizen then prompts him to continue. Letting his protégé practise the art. "Go on…"

"_Bu' she's a stubborn one far as I seen. So yer gonna have ta goad 'er somehow. Lure 'er in."_

The older of the two then slowly walks over to the second chair within the room. Sitting facing the other and propping his chin up with the palm of his hand. Resting his elbow on the arm of the chair. Thinking. The other having hit the nail right on the head.

"_A friend in need's a friend indeed Aizen-san."_

Aizen straightens his head, his eyes boring into Gin's solid expression. Looking quite perplexed.

"Talking in riddles again?"

"_Aiya… what I mean is, ya gotta show compassion. She's in need a somethin' right? So, if ya fill that need, then maybe she'll fill 'your' need."_

Now this was giving him food for thought. He was intrigued by this idea. Maybe he was going about this all wrong. Just demanding what he wanted from her like that. But maybe this, or whatever plan Gin had formulated might go somewhere. Does he take it and run with it? Or does he just follow his own design plan?

"And any suggestions on how?"

Gin gave yet another lazy smile. Maybe this could play to his advantage. He was always one for some manipulating to pass time here. _"I suggest gentle pressuring. Ya know, jus' a lil push in the right direction. Maybe I can help ya."_

They say that evil does come in many forms, and the form it chooses will all depend on circumstance. The practised liar knows this all too well. But nothing is left to chance in this scenario. All was planned out. All was orchestrated. Just as the outcome of the situation would be. But that would take time, it would take planning, and it would take manipulation to a whole new level. For this all has to be done with tact.

"_Ya can play on 'er emotions a bit. Let 'er know what ya want – ya can do that physically – and all the while tell 'er what she wants ta hear. Simple. An' I'll just give her a little push toward ya by singin' yer praises and there ya have it. One heir for Aizen-sama!"_

This was probably said a little too cheerfully for Aizen's tastes. But Gin did have a fair point. It involved a bit of pretense though, but then again Aizen was indeed a skilled actor. He fooled the whole of the soul society before, so why not one human girl now?

"You mean lie."

Gin rose from his chair giving one satisfied smile, slowly walking his way over towards the door. Pausing. Lingering there in the doorway for a minute before leaving. Turning and smiling his non chalant grin before going. Leaving Aizen alone with his thoughts as he sat in the chair as the door softly closed on itself.

"_Think about it…" _


	10. So what happens now?

**Chapter 9: So what happens now?**

Now Aizen definitely had a lot to think about. Does he take this new suggestion and pressure her into it? Or does he wait? But he needs an answer from her, and soon.

There are three possible options now. One, he takes this suggestion and physically pressures her. Either she will surrender herself then and there, or she will refuse him. And like he'd told her before, he wouldn't pressure her into anything. But doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical now? After that he'd made it so blatantly obvious? Maybe pressuring her now would. Even so, would she, or even better yet, could she deny him that, now that he'd made it quite clear that he'd wanted her? But then again, she could be easily manipulated into accepting, there was no doubt about that. But when he kissed her earlier, would she have broken away if he did not? Possibly. Maybe.

She didn't object though, probably through shock more than anything. She was returning the kiss, so it didn't seem all that likely that she would have broken away. However, if he hadn't broken off himself, who knows where it would have ended. Well, he _knew _where it probably would have ended, but that would probably have been too sudden. He needed to charm her, bewitch her, keep her under his spell. Make her think about him endlessly, manipulate her, lie to her. True, he could force her, take what he wanted through means of abuse, as was option two. But wasn't the act of procreation supposed to be agreed upon? No, better yet, an act of love?

They needed to have sex yes, but there's sex, and then there's love. So, here we have a dilemma. First of all, she does not love him. So that decreases the possibility even further that she would mate with him. And secondly, he was sure that she had her heart and mind set on Kurosaki Ichigo. Not Sousuke Aizen. So it becomes more likely that she would say no, even if just for this reason. But if he forced himself upon her, then it could, and most probably would, destroy the loyalty there that had been built up. And make her despise him more than she probably did now, and also make the possibility that she would betray him a whole lot greater. He could rape her, but if fertilisation was unsuccessful the first time then he would have to do this repeatedly. And he really did not want to do that anyway. He wouldn't ever do that to a woman. Especially not her. He would much rather have it consensual. And much, much rather make love. Aizen has had sex in the past, but there's sex, and then there's love. As physically satisfying as it was, to Aizen, just having sex is meaningless. But he needed to know how she felt before delving too much into that subject.

And then there's the third option of sitting and waiting. He did say that he would give her time to think about it, but the length of time was not specified. And no doubt that she would try to extend this time for a much as possible. But if she didn't give an answer, then he would indeed be back in this situation again and having to make a decision as to what would happen yet again. So, after much deliberation, careful thinking, planning and analysis, Sousuke Aizen slowly rose from his chair and left the room. Closing the door quietly shut behind him on his way out.

Ulquiorra was pacing the floor in Inoue's room when she finally did come back in. "And where have you been, woman?"

He paused, taking in her expression and then dropping all evidence that his tone was ever harsh towards her.  
"What happened?"

Was this a hint of concern in his voice? Who knew? Nobody probably ever knew. Not even him.

"You were supposed to have been back an hour ago."

"No- nothing happened… Ulquiorra-sama"

He was taken back slightly by this. Her tone had changed. She was not her normal compliant self. Her eyes seemed to appear distant, as if she were thinking hard on something. She had a far away look to her, and he notices. He has always noticed any changes to her moods and expressions. And from what he could gather she was probably thinking right now about what had happened just a few moments earlier. Not that he was ever going to know about it, she would never tell him even if he asked her.

It was quite late at night now. And Ulquiorra had decided that it would be pointless to go roaming through Las Noches at night now anyway, so he decided to sleep here instead. Not that the girl could complain. Not that she ever did complain though. It just wasn't like her. She took off the outer overcoat of her outfit and removed the sleeves so that she was now wearing a pure white sleeveless dress with a strap either side on her shoulders. It was simple in design. Ulquiorra knew it because he had ended up making it himself. Little to the knowledge of the outside world, Ulquiorra had many talents. And the talent that he had for dressmaking would probably rival that of even the last quincy. It was fitted perfectly to her curves, falling over her form gracefully. This was the first time that Ulquiorra had seen it on her without the overcoat. It made her look elegant, he noted. It was good on her. Made her look, for the lack of a better word in his dictionary, beautiful.

Ulquiorra himself had removed his jacket and just gone to bed in his trousers and climbed onto the bed next to her. They slept back to back, facing away from each other. They were probably only asleep for a few hours when the door slid open quite loudly in the silence. A solitary figure was standing in the doorway, the light behind them throwing his shadow across the floor, making the sleeping arrancar bolt awake and sit up straight.

"Ulquiorra."

"Ai- Aizen-sama?"

He had stuttered. But Ulquiorra never stuttered. He looked afraid, either that or he was not quite sure that the shape of his master now stood before him. The girl was still asleep.

"Ulquiorra, I need to talk to the girl. Please leave."

"But, Aizen-sama - "

"Ulquiorra," Aizen ordered again, narrowing his eyes upon the one that now dared to question him, his tone now becoming quite harsh. _"Leave."_

And Ulquiorra, taking another quick look at Orihime who was now sitting awake next to him didn't need to be told twice, and made no hesitations when quickly walking past Aizen and out of the room. He had thought it wise not to ask any more questions on his way out.


	11. Where we left off

**Chapter 10: Where we left off**

She could see him, standing there. His dark figure was looming in the doorway, his dark eyes being the only thing that was somewhat illuminated in the shadows. Contrary to her belief, it was his eyes that spoke of the unknown, and that was what she feared the most. His dark intentions, his unknown power over her. And her inability to know what he was thinking. That was what scared her the most. Not knowing. Not understanding.

"Orihime..."

"Aizen-sama."

She swallowed hard. What was he here for? It was so late already. He said he wanted to talk to her, but the look in his eyes told another story. He walked over and slowly crawled onto the bed, all the while his dark eyes looking intently at her. His expression unwavering. She tried to slow her breathing, tried to calm herself, but she failed. Her fear consumed her. Made her panic. She could hear and feel his breathing, his slow and steady breathing. Watching, waiting, with him getting closer and closer to her. Into her personal space, into her bed.

What now? There was no escape now for her and he knows it, he has her cornered. He smiled, _"like a rabbit in a snare" _he thought.

He kissed her again, plunging his tongue into her mouth. Again, not forcing it. Being as gentle as he was before. Breaking away slowly. Watching, whispering.

Soft words, soft words right in her ear.

"I changed my mind," he said, "Lets pick up from where we left off."

She gasped, feeling his soft lips brush her neck.

Heat. So much heat emanating from him. His touch, his hands, his voice. He wanted her, that was obvious. But did she really want him back? Did she really want to do this right now? She wasn't even sure of her own feelings yet. Could she betray her feelings for Ichigo? But when she supposedly 'joined' Aizen's side didn't she say herself that she belonged to him? Yes, she did.

Saying that he was unattractive would have been a lie, he was indeed an attractive male. His muscular chest and arms trying to goad her, push her, pressure her into it. No doubt that she found him attractive, or she would have done if she had no feelings for Ichigo.

She tried to push him off, not really wanting to. Not being able to. He let his fingertips linger on her neck. His hot, warm breath making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. No, this wasn't right.

Was it?

He kisses her neck again, gently pushing, gently pressuring. Running his fingers through her hair.

Waiting. Waiting for her to give him what he wants.

Submission. That was what he wanted from her.

But did she really want this? She loved Ichigo, she would be betraying Ichigo... Wouldn't she?

Another shudder. What was he doing to her? He had so much power over her, so much control. She felt like a puppet. His puppet. Her resolve becoming just a pile of ash before him now.

But this couldn't happen now. Not now…

"Inoue…"

He whispers her name, with so much passion in his voice, so much want. So much need. Both of them now lying on her bed together. There was nothing stopping him now, not at this hour. She swallowed hard, knowing that there was absolutely nothing to stop Aizen from getting what he wanted now. Nothing to stop him from having his way with her.

"Nnuuh... Ai- Aizen... sa- saah... sama... nu- ugh..."

She felt his hand on her thigh, slowly snaking around her leg. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, sending shudders though her. His hands were expertly steadying her, and positioning her body. Time seemed to slow down, with every second feeling like an eternity as he laid her down. Slowly running his fingertips over the bare skin on her shoulders, watching her shake and shudder at every move he made. Positioning his hips over hers. Taking his time and savouring each passing moment with her like this. In such a vunerable position beneath him. Slowly undressing her with his eyes. And with his hands.

"Ugh... please don't."

She was breathing heavily, each breath shaky and uncertain. He looks her in the eyes, deeply. Seemingly liking what he saw.

"Don't worry,"

He smiled. Fear, he saw fear.

"I will be gentle..."


	12. Just give me time

**Chapter 11: Just give me time**

"I will be gentle with you..."

She gasped again. Her eyes widened in horror. No, this wasn't right. She winced again as he slid his hand up her leg. Snaking it down and around her, teasing her and tempting her. He was taking his sweet time with her, toying with her. Enjoying keeping her in such a vulnerable and exposed position. Keeping her beneath him.

"Ah, Ai- Aizen-sama... uh..."

"What's wrong?" he kept his voice calm, but really he was enjoying this. "You seem nervous."

"Ugh..."

It was hot. Why was it so hot in here? What was he doing to her? He had so much power, so much control. And it was frightening. He breathed deeply, each warm breath on her neck tantalising her very senses, awakening some hidden desire long locked away. Long ago shut in. Something of a pleasured moan escaped. His? Hers? She didn't know. Everything was so hazy right now, because of him. And with her just being this close to him, to her captor, to Aizen.

She could feel his dexterous hands slowly undress her, and caress the smooth skin on her back. Making her shudder. Making her somehow want more. Another pleasured moan. Hers. Definitely hers.

Why was she making these noises? Surely she knew this was wrong, that this wasn't meant to be happening.

But it was.

His hands moved down her neck and onto her shoulders, slowly sliding the garment from them and exposing the pale flesh. His soft lips touching the warm skin, his hands tenderly laying her bare. His gentle eyes still only looking into hers as he shifted himself over her, moving his pelvis over hers. Another emotionally pained moan escaped her. All the while him seducing her with his words. His sweet words. In that soft whispering voice, whispering right in her ear. She knows what he wants. She knows full well what he wants.

Sweet words. Such sweet words in that ethereal voice. Calling her, echoing her name. How one could resist them seemed beyond comprehension. How one had the will and determination to do so appeared unbelievable. He was strong, deft at manipulating, even so in the bedroom. Even now. Her pale skin was flushing being in such close proximity to him. Being so close so that she could feel every touch, every breath on her skin, and every hair on her body stand on end. Every cold shudder that ran down her spine with his fingertips. Hearing his very breathing shaking as he parted her legs. Her heart thudding away in her chest, her brain trying to remember how to keep the lungs breathing.

He was close, too close. Getting too intimate, making her feel pressured. Making her do something she was not ready for. She was scared.

"_I... I want him... I... I want him to stop..."_

She doesn't love him.

He was flustering her, she doesn't know what to do. Young, inexperienced, and not yet in love. She is unsure, unstable. Clueless as to how to react, to deny him or submit to him? Either way she was trapped in his web.

"N- nuh, Ai- Aizen-sama... w- wait..."

She couldn't even get her own words out. His lips were working their way up her neckline, laying more soft kisses there as they went.

"I'm not ready for this yet!"

She'd yelled. She'd shut her eyes. She'd flinched.

Everything cooled down, he had stopped. He just sat there in silence, looking at her with the most bewildered of expressions, with widened eyes and a slackened jaw. His hair now like it was before he'd defected. She slowly opened one of her tightly closed eyes to look. He leaned over again as she winced, afraid of his anger, afraid of his wrath. Waiting for it to come, but it never did.

He just smiled softly at her.

"It's alright."

He leaned over, kissing her softly on the forehead, his hand touching her cheek before stroking her hair.

"I understand."

He gathered himself and recomposed his hair, slowly walking out of the room. Every footstep echoing into the silence. Leaving her lying there, shaking.


	13. Domino dancing with me

**Chapter 12: Domino dancing with me**

It was very dark in Las Noches now. And Gin was sitting there, having re-entered Aizen's room to wait for him. He decided to sit there and make himself a drink, contemplating recent events. Contemplating how Aizen always loved to dance with danger, and then always want more. This girl was simply the next in line of his many partners. But it would be so easy to fool her into thinking that it was something more than what it really was. Aizen always had many admirers, many of which soon became his lovers. Gin laughed to himself. They would be built up only to be knocked over when the next one came along. Like dominoes.

Laughable, truly laughable.

"_I wonder how long this one's gonna last. How you domino dance Aizen... we both know you're gonna come back to me." _

Aizen used people, took what he wanted from them and discarded them when they were no longer needed. Gin thought he had known better than to get involved himself. But he was young, he was naïve. And in the end, he too had defected. But he had his own reasons for that.

Gin had watched them all come and go, every one of them. They were all the same to Aizen, only entertaining for a while, until they became useless. It was just a game to Aizen.

"_You watched them all fall down..."_

He took another drink of alcohol, remembering.

"_You watched me fall down..."_

He would leave her too, when someone else came along, or when he needed something else that she couldn't give him. Or when he got bored of her, when he wanted someone else. He knew it would happen eventually. And Gin also knew that his own usage to Aizen could be wearing thin, too. Aizen only really needed him so that he could leave the soul society anyway. That was Gin's only purpose. Well, the only one that he knew of anyway. He smiled to himself, not quite sure of how long he had been sitting there or how much he had already drank.

It was a lazy smile.

"So?" Gin asked as he watched Aizen so casually stroll back into the room. "Wha' happened?"

"Nothing."

"D'ya mean 'nothin' nothin, or 'somethin happened bu' ya don' wanna tell me' nothin?"

"The first one."

"_You'll watch her fall down..."_

Gin's smile widened. Showing Aizen one of those wicked grins. He knew when Aizen was lying, despite how skilled he was at it. Gin always knew when he was lying to him.

"Liar. You played wi' fire."

Aizen smirked, eyeing Gin with a knowing glance. "So what if I did?"

"I wonder if she'll fall fer ya..."

"Hmm"

Gin was sitting quite relaxed in his chair, propping his chin up on the palm of his hand. Looking quite far away, seemingly thinking over the many possibilities. Aizen was, metaphorically speaking, in the palm of his hand. And highly suggestible in his current state. Perfect.

"Were th' fire hot? Aizen-sama?"

Gin was teasing him now, trying to get a reaction out of him. 'Get the gossip' as people put it. Well, it wasn't like anything _interesting_ happened in Las Noches. Not much had happened for a while.

Aizen does not answer this question. He chooses to remain indifferent. Gin's speech was slurring.

"Taken to teasing me now have you Gin? And drinking my alcohol?"

Gin laughed again. "Aw come on Aizen-san, I'm jus' curious as ta wha' happened. Since ya know, I suggested it."

That was true, it was Gin who had suggested pressuring her. But now Aizen's thoughts were changing, he was overwhelmed by what had happened. But maybe what he had in mind was even more sinister. Aizen listened on as Gin's tone was becoming more cynical now.

"Di' she become yer new lover? Did ya fuck 'er?"

Gin was accentuating each word, turning nasty and sarcastic now. Getting really close to him. Almost whispering the words into his ear. What he said was sarcastic, but spoken in a way in which implied only harmless teasing. Gin smirked, standing right in front of Aizen now.

"Did she _cave?_"

"No. And I would appreciate it if you stayed out of my _personal _supply of alcohol."

Aizen was looking at him with a calm expression on his face. Then a knowing smile came across him. "Your plan is working."

Gin returned the smile.

"She'll fall Aizen. Ya know she will." Gin's smile softened again, his voice becoming quieter. "So you jus' wait, she'll belong to ya soon. It's my turn to push her now..."

Gin then left him. Turning again before he exited.

"Jus' be kind to 'er. I'll do th' rest."

When he left, he didn't give him the chance to say anything. And as he walked down the hallway after closing the door to Aizen's room he smiled to himself. Letting a sly grin creep steadily across his face. His thoughts focused clearly on his intentions. Thinking of the many possibilities that now lay ahead of him.


	14. They both are puppets

**Chapter 13: They both are puppets **

When Gin had left, Aizen had practically collapsed onto the bed. He was exhausted. It was already so late, but he couldn't sleep. He was becoming restless and agitated. He just lay there awake for what seemed like ages. He was hot, and couldn't for the life of him cool himself down. He tossed and turned, all the while just becoming more and more aggravated. And after many futile hours of useless tossing and turning, he decided to take a walk to clear his head.

His skin burned, even as he felt the cold floor of Las Noches beneath his bare feet. He still felt her on his skin, on his chest where she had touched him. He walked slowly through the corridors, not really knowing where he was heading. He knew that he just needed to clear his head. Empty his mind of all thought.

So then why did he keep thinking about her? All his thoughts seemed to drift back to what had happened.

Why was his heart still pounding? The adrenaline wasn't going away. He was growing tired, but still sleep would not claim him. He knew that much. He decided to go outside, he hadn't done so for quite a while, so it was nice to feel the gentle wind on his skin and through his hair. He was hot, he was too damn hot. And still as yet unsatisfied. He walked slowly, taking in the night time air, still breathing heavily. Letting the cool wind brush past him as he strolled through the vast desert beneath the moon, becoming lost in his thoughts. He closed his eyes, feeling the cool sand beneath his feet, and the grains of sand between his toes. It was a good feeling to be out here by himself. His heartbeat started to steadily slow down and he felt like he was cooling down. The moon was in a waxing crescent and the stars had only just come out. It was calm and peaceful tonight.

Having cooled down, Aizen felt that now he could think properly. Not having his judgement clouded by this new and strange feeling that had overcome him. Confusion. That was the only word he could use to describe it. Was it lust?

Love?

His feelings for her had been growing for some time now, but did she feel the same way about him as he did about her? No, probably not. So his affection would be left unrequited. Unreturned. He was human, capable of emotion. Capable of caring for her. Capable of loving her, more so than that fool of a boy she adored so much. But she wouldn't understand how someone... evil... like him could feel anything of the kind.

She refused him, yet she had responded to his body. Was it really that she didn't like him in that way? Or was it just because she was innocent and did not know what to do? But if she didn't like him, then why did she respond? Why did she let him go as far as he did? Maybe she did feel that way. Maybe it was just her inexperience that made her react the way she did.

But what of himself? What if he had not been able to control himself? Not been able to stop when she'd asked. He didn't really want to think about that. But if this was just a physical attraction he was experiencing, then he could have just taken her without consent. He _could_ have done, but he had chosen not to.

And what she said: she wasn't ready for this yet.

Yet. That one word stood out to him. Maybe she was just getting over the quickness of everything, of him being so blunt with her. Maybe he would just need to give her some little bit of time.

And what about what Gin had said? What was he planning to do?

Aizen hated not knowing what to do. Especially in this delicate situation. He kept thinking about it. He did have some growing feelings for the woman, not just an attraction and desire for her body. He thought well of her, how she was some small light in this darkened world. A world that would soon belong to him. But what was power with nobody to share it with? He enjoyed her company, being in her presence, even just talking to her. Maybe she would warm up to him more if they spent more time together.

He had long ago lost track of how long he had been walking or how far away from Las Noches he was, but he eventually found a rather large perpendicular stone half emerged from the endless sea of sand and so he decided to sit for a while.

He exhaled deeply and let out one long sigh.  
"Why is life so complicated?"

"Aiya! An' still I find ya lookin' troubled! My my, ya mus' a got some real heavy thoughts in tha' noggin' a yours."

Aizen's eyes snapped open. He turned once again meeting the form of Ichimaru Gin.

"Stalker now, then?"

Gin smiled, having strolled over in his casual nonchalant manner. "jus' wanted to take a walk. Much like yerself. Tis nice out."

Aizen watched as Gin propped himself onto the rock on which he was currently sitting. "So, wha's troublin' ya?"

"Are you really asking or do you just want me to confirm what you already know?"

Gin shrugged, "meh, little of both."

Aizen sighed again. Did Gin really have nothing better to do with his time than to harass him? He had _really_ come out here to be by himself.

"It were a night much like this tha' we met, weren' it? Ah, I still remember. We 'ad some good times..."

"That we did."

"Are ya gonna tell me wha's botherin' ya?"

Aizen looked upward, gazing at the moon. "She said no."

"An' yer disappointed?"

"Well, what she said was 'not yet'. But I think she was flustered."

"Kyaa, got a shy one then 'ave ya this time? Momo practically _threw _herself at you when you asked... Though I'm not one to talk, I didn' exactly push you off me, either..."

"No... you didn't. What you did, however, was profess it all to be a stupid mistake and avoid me for weeks."

"I know... an' I feel like a fool fer it. I should have just give in and let my karma pull me to you. Couldnt tell ya how much it fucked me off seeing you with Momo. Although, Hinamori was really just your substitute fer me, werent she?"

"Oh," Aizen said, smiling, "but she really wasnt much of a substitute. And your right, It seems so, she is quite a shy one, Orihime."

Gin's smile broadened. Aizen really was in the palm of his hand.

"Aizen, yer a bit oblivious. Th' time'll come when she forgets all abou' tha' Kurosaki an' comes a runnin' to ya. She jus' needs time to figure it out."

Gin's voice turned soft and sweet again, as he moved closed to Aizen, lowering his voice now.  
"I'll make her forget _all_ about him..."

"Like you made me forget Hinamori?"

Gin widened his smile, displaying his white teeth through that Cheshire cat like grin. "I have _other_ ways." Gin laughed. "I'll get ya what ya want. You'll just have to trust me."

Like Gin needed to tell Aizen to trust him. Aizen obviously trusted him. He trusted him with everything, it wasn't like there was any secrecy between them. None that he knew of anyway.

"Well, g'night Aizen-sama." Gin continued, "Ya know where I am if ya want me." he casually waved as he walked off.

"_Not that ya do want me." _He'd wanted to add, but thought better of it as he walked through the desert back to Las Noches. Leaving Aizen alone again with his thoughts of the woman. Musing to himself that it wouldn't be long now before she fell for him and he got what he wanted.


	15. Outside of understandings reach

**Chapter 14: Outside of understandings reach**

After he had been ordered to leave, Ulquiorra thought against staying. He knew better than to stand outside of the door and wait. He knew that Aizen was indeed a private man. And that he would not take kindly to eavesdroppers, so Ulquiorra left himself to wander around the empty corridors which made up Las Noches. These walls were white. They had always been white. And they would probably always be white. His green eyes scanned through the darkness at them. Not even a single mark or crack on any of these walls. Aizen wanted perfection, no, he _demanded _it. Nothing tainted, nothing used. Maybe that was why he had chosen her. She was a strong woman, a good woman, an obedient woman. One who could surely aid Aizen-sama in attaining his goals. No doubt Ulquiorra admired the girl, she had powers they could only dream of, but she was humble. She knew her capabilities and judged nobody. Not even him. His footsteps echoed the emptiness as he walked. How she fascinated him, always worried for others above herself, always talking about this thing called a 'heart' and wondering abut her friends she'd left behind.

Why? He wondered. Although Ulquiorra knew of many things, often the complexities of human emotion still lay beyond the scope of his understanding. Just out of his reach, like she was. Maybe that was why she intrigued him, because he didn't understand her. Maybe like Aizen, having never experienced something untainted, Ulquiorra was drawn to that innocence. But it was difficult to tell.

He traced his fingertips along the wall, still walking forward. Not going to anywhere in particular. He looked up. Was that Aizen-sama's reitsu he sensed just now? He didn't know, or rather, he wasn't sure. Either way it did not concern him. His only concern, according to Aizen-sama, was the care and welfare of their newest prisoner. And that alone.

He presumed that he had been walking aimlessly around still with that same stoic expression as before for hours. But then again, being in Las Noches did distort ones sense of time. And there were no clocks in any of the corridors. But Ulquiorra could tell that it was a very early time in the morning, midnight had already passed when he was ordered to leave the girl's room.

The corridors were cold. Well, it made no difference, they were always cold once the sun had gone down. The artificial sun. Why did Aizen create this sun? Its not like it would make any difference to the life and death that happened here. It was just a light in the sky. But only now did Ulquiorra notice the cold. He had not taken his jacket with him, and truthfully he didn't want to. It would probably have irritated Aizen more if he took an even longer time to get out. And Aizen was vexed enough to even have been questioned. Even Ulquiorra feared the wrath of Aizen, and he did not want to stick around to wait for it. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as he could. So he could actually feel the cold now.

He turned the corner again, his fingers still tracing the perfectly unmarked wall as he went. The door to the girls room was slightly ajar. Aizen had already gone and the girl was asleep like before. Her breaths once again soft and light in the quietness. Her chest slowly rising and falling as she slept. Ulquiorra silently watched her for a moment. She looked so peaceful, so peaceful in fact that it appeared as though nothing was troubling her.

"_She is a strong one."_

He crawled back onto the bed and curled up, his eyelids becoming heavy again as he slowly drifted back into sleep. It was good to feel the warmth of her back again after being out in the cold. She twitched as his cool back brushed against hers.

He didn't see her smile when they touched though.

...

Orihime woke up sometime in the afternoon. She was still tired so Ulquiorra let her sleep. When she awoke though he was putting on his jacket.

"Oh, you're awake. Aizen-sama has requested that you assist Ichimaru-sama in the kitchen. Get dressed, I will escort you."

"Yes Ulquiorra-sama."

"I will wait for you outside."

Ulquiorra took his leave. He had enough decency to not stand and watch her undress. When she emerged she was then taken through numerous corridors and down a couple of stairways into the kitchens of Las Noches where Gin was waiting for her.

"Oh, hiya Hime-chan!"Gin waved, still holding a wooden spoon in his hand as Ulquiorra just continued to look at him.

"I assume that I am able to take my leave now, Ichimaru-sama?" Ulquiorra inquired, still with an ever unchanging expression.

"Yeh yeh. I'll call ya when we're done."

"Very well."

With that Ulquiorra left them to whatever Gin had planned for them to make in the kitchen. One of these things being conversation.

"So Hime-chan, how are ya?"

"I – I'm okay Ichimaru-sama."

It is a well known fact that everybody who happens to meet Ichimaru Gin feels an uncontrollable sense of fear. But there are but a few exceptions to this. There are a few people that are immune to the poison that constantly seeps from him. But unfortunately, Inoue Orihime is not one of those people.

"Meh, ya can call me Gin, Aizen-sama aint gonna scold ya none. He aint here is he?"

"Oh, um... okay. G- Gin-sama."

He smiles at her. Taking in her every subtle movement and reading everything about her expression. Fear. Not at all surprising to him. Her reaction was no different from the many others that he had met.

"I hear ya like cookin', an' I though' ya migh' like to help me." he said cheerfully, gesturing to the many utensils on the work surface.

"Yes, that's right."

She did not feign the cheerfulness. After all, cooking was her speciality, her area of expertise. So why not take the chance to do something she loved doing so much? Even if it was with Gin.

"We can make whatever ya want! An' maybe ya could give some to Aizen-sama later."

His smile widened as he caught sight of a blush overcoming her face at the sound of his name. He smirked to himself.

"_Now this,"_ he thought, _"is just too easy." _


	16. Friends, lovers and food

**Chapter 15: Friends, lovers and food.**

Gin broadened his smile and squinted his eyes, choosing to ignore the girls present embarrassment.

"So, what d'ya wanna make fer Aizen-chan?"

"Err, well... I really don't know Aizen-sama all that well, so um, I don't really know what he likes."

"Eh?"

Gin made his best astonished face, well, because he really was astonished. Was this girl really all that Aizen had made her out to be? I mean really, the supposed 'connection' between them that he had spoken of was seemingly invisible now. After all, she didn't even know what kinds of food the man liked. But maybe this could play further to his advantage. He clicked his tongue as he thought, trying to think up a possible, if not, suitable dish with whatever they had in the kitchen.

"hmm, well 'ave ya got any ideas 'bout what he might like?"

"Well..."

Orihime paused, losing herself in her train of thought. What kinds of food _did_ Aizen like? She didn't really know at all. Should she know? But it did seem a bit strange that Aizen seemed to know more about her than she did about him.

But as she thought, there came a faint barking noise, supposedly coming from outside. But there weren't any animals in Las Noches, were there? Or unless it was some form of hollow that had broken in.

Maybe she was just imagining it. Or at least she thought she was until the soft padding of paws grew louder and the barking grew more audible. It was a little white fox that came bounding into the room, more beautiful than any creature Orihime had ever seen, but not in the least bit as graceful. Its fur was the colour of freshly fallen snow, and her eyes were a bright blue like the ocean. It had a cute little button like nose, and little paws that made soft noises as they padded across the floors. She was even whiter in colour than the flawless wall of Las Noches.

Orihime just stood there in total awe as Gin made a move to pick up the creature that had just rather clumsily come in. He didn't seem pleased.

"Aiya! Cherry-chan, ya know you aint supposed to be in th' kitchen!"

He scolded as he held the fox in his arms as she licked his face, as he gave a slight laugh. Then setting her down upon the work surface as she swished her bushy white tail and looked pleadingly at him.

"Alrigh' then you can stay, jus' _don't_ pee over Aizen's floor again, he was very mad."

Gin warned the little fox that had sat down on the work surface, pointing at her and suddenly being very stern.

"Hm?"

He suddenly looked around, just that second remembering that he was entertaining.

"Oh sorry, where _are_ my manners? Hime-chan, this's Cherry-chan."

The little fox barked and trotted over nearer to Orihime, sniffing her intently. Then barking and wagging her tail again.

"Heh, I think she likes ya. Normally she don' take to strangers." he smiled again before turning his attention to his pet. "Cherry-chan, give 'er a chance to pick you up ne?"

He sighed again as the little creature got taken up into the girl's arms, and then made herself quite comfortable there. He watched her tenderly hold his little Cherry-chan as if she were the most fragile thing in the world. Like she was afraid that she would break into pieces at any given moment. Like Aizen dissipating one of his illusions made by kyouga suigetsu. But Cherry was no illusion, and Gin knew that she didn't break so easily. She did not look it, but she was one tough cookie. Gin had learned that through experience.

"I known 'er ever since I were a kid."

Orihime smiled, holding the fox in her arms and looking at her with what could be described as motherly devotion.

"She's beautiful..."

Cherry wriggled in her arms and then found a more comfortable position, getting ready to just about fall asleep in the girl's arms. Gin smiled softly again.

"Aiya, Cherry-chan, don' you go fallin' asleep now." Gin teased, watching the little fox snap awake as he leant over to scratch her chin.

"Anyway, we got work to do, right Hime-chan?"

"Ah, yeah, right. The food."

Gin got down a rather shabby looking recipe book from one of the higher shelves and poured through it. Letting Orihime pick whichever one she wanted to do. This was, of course, after numerous failed attempts of her own style of cooking. The only last working appliance that they hadn't either set on fire, broken, blown up, or got food paste jammed into was the oven. So after pretty much a whole day they decided to actually follow the instruction manual and make a simple chocolate cake and serve it with the ice cream that they had created. The kitchen was a complete mess by the time they had finished and the both of them were covered in four because Cherry had sneezed. But at least Gin wasn't going to be in trouble for letting Cherry pee over the floor again, right?

So, much, much later that evening Orihime was now being ushered by Gin to go and see Aizen down the corridors carrying a bowl containing a rather large piece of said chocolate cake and some flavour of ice cream she called 'raspberry and chocolate swirl'. She really didn't want to go so he ended up practically pushing her. Cherry scampered down ahead of them leading the way, jumping around, barking and wagging her tail in excitement. She hadn't seen Aizen for the whole day, so when they all eventually got to the door Cherry started scratching it like mad.

"Now go! go see yer lover!"

"Eh? bu- but, I don't wanna... you do it."

Gin looked at her and decided to tease, placing his hands not so subtlety on his hips defiantly.

"Do you really want to leave me, and Aizen, alone in a room together, with nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream? Well do you?"

"Errrm..."

Orihime blushed madly, her mind running wild with ideas, not all of them appropriate. Making a mental note to herself to stop reading so much yaoi manga if she ever got back home again.

"You would steal Aizen-sama?"

Gin tutted, only slightly annoyed. He was trying to persuade her, and make a point. But it looked like his usual cynical wit wasn't getting him anywhere here. He stooped to pick up Cherry and stroked her head as he held her.

"Do ya want me to give it to him?"

"Ah no! Th- that's okay!" She stammered, quickly opening the door and going in. Gin smiled, snuggling the little white fox before she leapt onto the floor again. He smiled to himself as he then strode off down the hallway again, with the little fox running after him.

"Come on Cherry-chan."

All was falling into place. And hopefully, it would all go to plan.


	17. Music of the night

This one is inspired by the poem "there is a lady sweet and kind" by Thomas Ford. Also, the song being played by Aizen is Utada Hikaru's "first love" (the piano instrumental) even though when i wrote this i was listening to the corpse bride piano duet.

It is also inspired by Phantom of the opera.

* * *

**Chapter 16: Music of the night **

After being somewhat forced through the doorway, Orihime stepped gingerly into the room. She hasn't been in here before, and so to her it feels as if she has stepped through the doorway and into another world. The atmosphere was so different from the usual one she felt in Las Noches. It wasn't like the normal and cold feeling that radiated from the walls. No, this was something else entirely.

It was a warmer feeling, like stepping inside from the cold when it was snowing bitterly outside. She closed the door very softly behind her, being so very careful not to make a single noise. Even though that wasn't really necessary.

There was a soft melody floating in the air all around her. Calming her and intoxicating her senses. Soft music of a piano being played in the night of Huecco Mundo, hovering throughout the room. Blinding her to the danger of being here. Could Aizen-sama be playing this?

"_Wait, why would there even be a piano in Las Noches?"_

She didn't know, she didn't care.

Because the music being played was so beautiful. So passionate and soulful, each note being hit perfectly, one after the other. Stirring up her soul within the melody. She could see him, sitting facing away from her at a white grand piano, without his coat, his head moving in tune to the music he was playing. Hitting every note with the same dexterity. Pouring his heart and soul into producing the sweet sound of her favourite song. Closing and opening his eyes as he played the many notes and breathing so calmly, serenely even.

He was so intently focused on the perfection of his art that he did not notice her come in. So engrossed in the music that he was so completely unaware of her presence in his chambers, the place where he most desired her to be with him. But maybe subconsciously he knew she was there because his melody changed. Only subtly though, because the song was still the same, but it was as if his spirits had lifted. He closed his eyes and raised his head upwards, towards the high ceiling, breathing deeply as he played, not seeing her lean against the wall near to the door and listening to him play the music of the night, silently watching and listening. Silently waiting there still with the glass bowl in her hands. With the ice cream slowly melting.

She must have made a sound though, either with the metal spoon on the glass or some soft exhalation at the sight of Aizen's song taking flight, but he suddenly stopped partway through, causing an unsteady silence to fill the room. She swallowed, oh god, she'd been spotted. She wasn't even sure if she was _allowed_ to be in here.

"Hm?"

Aizen had heard a soft noise in his room, and slowly turned his head around, wondering who it was that had the audacity to enter his room without knocking.

"Oh, why hello. Do come in. What may I ask brings you into my bed chambers, Orihime-chan?"

He asked her warmly, oh, so it was her. Really he was glad it was her that had come here. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with any of the espada right now, so that's why he had gone off to play his piano. Because it calmed him. She stepped over slowly to him.

"Oh, well, I err... Aizen-sama... I brought you some food."

Strange, she had expected him to be angry with her for not knocking, because it was impolite to just enter his bedroom. But she was relieved that he didn't start shouting at her to leave. Not that he ever would, granted because of what he felt for her, but nonetheless she did still doubt him.

He eyed the ice cream hungrily, musing at how he did love chocolate. And better yet, chocolate flavoured ice cream.

"One of your original creations I trust?"

"Err, yes. Heh heh, I made it especially for you Sousuke-sama~"

She laughed nervously. And he noticed her blushing. Damn it, why was she blushing _now? _It made things so awkward. Made her say random things...

"You play beautifully..."

He smiled, reaching his hand out for hers holding the bowl, ready to take it off her, while gently leaning in towards her, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. Making her face redden and her eyes widen.

"Thankyou."

He took the ice cream off her and set it down in front of him on top of the closed piano lid.

"So, what brings you here? I'm sure you didn't come here just to bring me some of your amazing ice cream."

"Oh, well I -"

She must have leaned backwards, or made some movement large enough to make it happen, but one of the books on the shelf next to her hit the floor, opening on a page abut half way through the book.

"Oh my, I'm sorry..." she stumbled, bending down to pick up the book that she had just knocked over. Somehow keeping it open to the same page it landed on. Maybe she was curious, maybe she wanted to know what kinds of things Aizen liked to read, so maybe that was why she glanced at the page; at the poem written there. At her favourite poem.

"It's There is a lady... "

Aizen smiled, lookig at her with faraway eyes. Bedroom eyes. Giving her the most dream filled looks as he spoke the words from memory.

"_There is a lady sweet and kind,_

_Was never a face so pleased my mind;_

_I did but see her passing by,_

_And yet I'll love her till I die"_

It was a poem, her favourite poem. And quite a fond one of his too, going by the way that he was reciting it. Speaking it from memory as if he were reading it. She had expected them to have been so different, and the distance between them to be so great, so that crossing it would be like the splitting of the red sea. But she was wrong.

"_Her gesture, motion, and her smiles,_

_Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles,_

_Beguiles my heart, I know not why,_

_And yet I'll love her till I die"_

This truly was a moment like no other, like the splitting of the sea. Like walking across worlds. A moment in time when two different worlds collided. Just listening to his strange, soft, beguiling voice, with all its sultry tones stirring up those strange and foreign emotions again. Like when they kissed. It was all so surreal; he was reciting her favourite poem to her. It was strange. Romantic.

"_Cupid is winged and he doth range,_

_Her country, so, my love doth change:_

_But change she earth, or change the sky,_

_Yet, I will love her till I die." _

She was speechless. So enthralled by the very sound of his voice, so very intoxicated with it. Why did she want to fight her body so much? Why did she want to fight his courting of her every single step of the way? Even when it was pointless, she still fought him, combated her own instincts, her own feelings. Maybe it was time for all of that to stop.

Maybe it was time for all of the selfishness she had for her own well being over her friends to be put to sleep.

And the time for her fears about him to die.

He was growing on her, she was becoming accustomed to seeing his face pretty much every day. Being by his side... _desiring _to be by his side...

"It's a lovely poem..." she then said, realising that she was becoming lost in her own thoughts. Catching herself thinking about a life beside Aizen. About belonging to him. Giving herself to him, and only him.

He smiled fondly at her, letting his eyes soften, becoming somewhat feral.

"hmm, quite a fond one of mine. Do you like it?"

She nodded dreamily, blushing again as Aizen, forever being the gentleman, just smiled and ignored it. Quite contented that despite her appearance, she was a well read woman.

"Then we shall have to read this together sometime." he mused, taking the book from her hands slowly. Getting close to her again. Close enough to take in her scent. Gods how he loved her. Everything about her was just so perfect. Now Aizen is not a shallow man. In fact he never based anything upon appearance. Because appearances were deceptive, even he knew that. But she was never deceptive, she was like an open book to him.

"So my darling," he continued, beckoning her to sit on the piano bench beside him, patting it gently. Waiting as she took her seat within reach of his arms. Close enough for him to hold.

"What brings you here? Apart from the desire to listen to the music of the night?"

She was sitting next to him, within his reach and yet just beyond it. Caught somewhere in the vast middle. So near to him and yet so far. What was she afraid of, really? Getting closer to him? Or was this the relationship of just a captive to their captor? Or did she want more?

Did _he_ want more? More than just sex?

She glances downwards, not sure of how to phrase a request to just talk to him about something this important. Unsure of what to say, she decides to just put it bluntly. Because maybe, he just might listen.

For this is her purity we are taking about, this is her virtue. This is what many a man has previously desired. She is the asset that has not gone undesired among the espada. Because Aizen has not claimed her as his own, there has been much unrest. But she has been afraid. Afraid of giving herself up to a man – any man. But a man like Aizen-sama is what she wants. A kind, caring and compassionate man, someone that would look after her, be patient with her. Love her.

Love her back. Despite her uncertainty.

She once loved Ichigo, but never had that love returned.

So maybe after being heartbroken it was time to move on. Maybe it was time to stop being afraid of Aizen. Because as she has seen before, Aizen has shown her nothing but the utmost kindness and respect. Treated her with nothing but affection. For as it is now, there is nothing to be afraid of any more. Maybe it was time for her to put all of that fear and anxiety to sleep. Put her fears to rest for good.

She looks up at him, nervous still, but his soft chocolate brown eyes calming her very soul.

Yes, maybe it _was _time to put her fears to rest.

"Aizen-sama... can we talk for a moment? This is important."

* * *

And yes, Las Noches has a piano. Aizen is rich, evil and intelligent and therefore has to have a piano.


	18. Man of my word & Why hello there frank

this one is split into two. 'Why hello there frank' (the play on 'let me be frank') is the first part and then it alternates between them. I tried doing them both seperately, but it didn't work and just came out fail. So I went with this mash up. enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 17: Man of my word & Why hello there frank**

It was some time later that Gin was strolling non chalantly down the corridors again, gently humming to himself. Only the walls did make his humming echo a bit, and thus make it a lot louder than it actually was. He was holding Cherry in his arms and smiling, scratching her chin as she wagged her tail and squeaked happily as she played with the light blue towel that she was currently wrapped up in with her paws.

"There, now yer nice an' clean. I dunno 'bout Aizen's bathroom though, ya did mess that up some, bu' that's wha' we got arrancars for ne? To clean up after us! Hmm, or maybe Tousen could clean up tha' mess you made instead hm?"

Cherry just barked happily and wagged her tail some more, Gin had just given his little fox a bath. A much needed bath after she had been rolling around in the sand outside with her kong toy. So she was quite dirty. After a while of walking down the corridor, Gin met up with Ulquiorra, who was waiting outside of Aizen's door.

"Ne? I though' Aizen-sama didn' appreciate eavesdroppers Ulqui-chan."

"What I do is not of your concern Ichimru-sama."

"Aw so cold." Gin responded sarcastically. "How _does_ Orihime-chan stay so cheerful around ya? Maybe she loves ya. Maybe tha's it..."

Gin always liked to tease people. He always did. In fact he took every opportunity to tease, but somehow Ulquiorra managed to give him no reaction other than a hostile one.

"So, what are you doing here? Ichimaru-sama?" Ulquiorra asked, watching Gin's sinister grin widen significantly as he stood there holding the white fox as she wiggled adorably in his arms and squeaked happily. Rubbing her nose into his chest.

"I wanna tell ya somethin'. And it concerns yer little Hime-chan..."

Ulquiorra just looked at him. His eyes quietly staring into Gin's half closed ones. Mentally preparing himself for whatever came spilling out of Gin's wicked mouth. Be it truth or lies.

"Well. I'm listening."

Gin's grin widened to show his teeth. _"Oh yes, Aizen. This will be... far. Too. Easy." _

...

Orihime was nervous about talking to Aizen. Indeed they had spoken before, but not on such a deep level such as this before.

"I have reached my decision... about what you've asked of me."

Orihime tries to be strong, she tries to gain the mentality to speak about this matter. And what is best of all, is that she succeeds. She does not falter with her words, for she knows that she is certain in what she is doing. After having thought about it all very carefully, she voices her choice.

"I have decided... I have decided... to accept your request."

Aizen studies her face, taking a mental note that she is completely serious. From her expression he knows that he has selected the right female, a strong female. But he also takes into consideration both his _and _her feelings. His developing feelings for her, as well as her own conflicting emotions. Of having being torn away from her friends, being thrust into a new world, and then his pursuing of her. It was a lot for her to have to deal with.

He waits for her to continue, slowly letting his ice cream melt in the bowl next to him.

"But..."

_'But'? There was a but?_

His head is spinning, he does not know what the consequences of her saying that word will be, but he mentally prepares himself for whatever comes. He knows that it may not be any major deal or affect his plans in any fashion, but still he does worry. Even if only slightly.

"I will only... do it... with you... on condition that... you don't hurt any of my friends."

Oh, so that was the catch. That is what she is worried about.

Well, he probably could have guessed that anyway. But it does not matter right now. He smiles warmly again, letting only a single moment of pure and uninterrupted silence pass by. Purposely of course, for he never replies instantly. Quite a bad habit he has fallen into with this woman, really.

"Is that all?"

She was taken aback. Good. She wasn't expecting that.

But she did nod her head. Answering in the affirmative to the question. No matter how unexpected it was.

Good. She had agreed to become his. But, the thoughts that came to his mind were far from happy about what she said, and about why she was agreeing.

...

Gin laughed to himself heartily. "Didn'tchya know about it?"

Ulquiorra just looked at him. "Why no Ichimaru-sama. I didn't."

Gin chuckled again, somewhat more maniacally this time. Cherry just licked his face.

"Didn' ya know why Aizen ordered ya to bring 'er here? It's cuz 'e wants ta' make a baby with 'er!"

Ulquiorra just stood there, quite apparently shocked. And it took a lot to be able to shock the ever stoic Ulquiorra.

"A baby?"

"Yeah," Gin grinned as the little white fox jumped from his arms and into the pale floor. "A baby. Aizen-chan wants an heir. An' what Aizen-sama wants, Aizen-sama gets."

"With... Orihime-sama?"

"Eh? Aiya~ so it be true then! Ya got feelin's for 'er dont'tchya?"

"Ichimaru-sama, do not be ridiculous."

"Ya know yer a terrible liar Ulqui-chan." Gin stated, even though the expression on the fourth espada's face did not change in the slightest. In fact, the dark haired arrancar did not move a muscle.

"Well, I jus' though' ya should know that." he smiled innocently, one of his dark yet innocent smiles that would send chills up the spines of anyone. "Come along Cherry-chan!"

And with that, he left. The little fox trotting along behind him as he half walked and half skipped down the hallways, resuming his humming. Leaving Ulquiorra to just stare blankly after him and carry on listening to the conversation between the princess and his master from behind the closed door.

...

Orihime faltered slightly. Willing herself to say something, anything at all. But she couldn't. She could only just nod her head in the affirmative. She couldn't make herself say that she might actually be in love with him. Oh no. She can't say something simple such as "I may be starting to like you." So Aizen now probably has the opinion that she is being coerced into this. But that was not her intention at all.

"_Come on just say it. Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it."_

She looks up at Aizen, who was still smiling softly and warmly at her. Looking at her with such bedroom eyes.

"Then I give you my word darling. If you become mine, then I will not hurt your nakama."

"Do... do you mean it?"

"My dear, I am a man of my word. But I do hope that you're not just doing this for them. I do not want for you to feel pressured into this."

#he lies blatantly, he has blackmailed her earlier?

"N- no, they're not the only reason..." she says, glancing away from him only for a quick couple of seconds before meeting his eyes again. It seemed that he was growing on her.

He smiled again, widening his smile to be something more of a mischievous grin.

"Would you like to tell me the other reasons over some ice cream?"


	19. Playing hide and seek

**Chapter 18: Playing hide and seek**

Ulquiorra was just left to stand there, after Gin had left. What was he talking about? Of course he didn't have any 'feelings' for the girl. Ichimaru was just being ridiculous, surely. Of course he did care for her, but that was because of Aizen-sama's wishes. After all, he does not wish to anger his master by being disobedient. But does he? Really? Or is there something else there? Maybe something that he doesn't know of. That he doesn't realise just yet. Maybe. But time will tell. But for now he can only stand there and listen to the master and the prisoner talking behind closed doors. Who, following the conversation, wasn't going to be a prisoner for much longer, but maybe even the queen of Las Noches.

He does not know why though, but he does somewhat worry about this. His gut was churning, was this the sensation that the humans called 'having butterflies in your stomach'?

If so, he was feeling that now. A strange tingling of fear, and something akin to anticipation as he hoped and prayed for her to give a negative response. Say no. He wills it to happen, he wills her to back out of this arrangement _now_, because he, of all people, knows what Aizen is like. Out here, in the bedroom, all of those different mind games he played. With him, with Ichimaru, and whoever else he'd care to mention. And he does not want this woman to become a part of that. He does not want her to become like him, just somebody to use when he felt like it.

He wills her to back out as he listened to them talking nonsense. Nonsense he does not comprehend. For this is a heart to heart talk, and he, lacking a heart and the capacity to grasp the emotions of humanity, does not understand.

When she left the room his orders were to escort the girl back to her chambers and nothing more was spoken between him and the master, who was now in the mood for a different kind of meeting as he watched his soon to be mate leave the room to be escorted back to her own room. Taking a deep breath and raising his reitsu slightly, just enough to be noticed by the one person he wishes to see.

When passing, the fourth espada came across Gin again, who had no doubt been loitering around in the corridors again – which was doubtlessly one of his favourite pastimes – and watching them both closely.

Watching them as they walked past him as he leant against the wall, smiling to himself. Why exactly he is smiling, nobody is sure. But it only unnerves the girl and not the master's pet dog. It never has unnerved Ulquiorra, so he just has to be satisfied with watching only the princess shudder and tremble before him. But his smile drops momentarily. He tilts his head upwards inquisitively, having sensed something, a familiar reitsu. And then as if scenting the air, he so very casually strolls towards the source of it. For he knows this reitsu all too well. In fact, maybe a little too intimately for what was to be considered safe, but still he tracks the source of it as if by nature.

He casually saunters down each of the winding and maze like corridors, taking his time on his way. Savouring every moment that he knew the ever growing anticipation of the master would build. How he loved to make him wait. How he loved to just let him get so riled up waiting for him while he skipped down the corridors and hallways. Because he knows what this peak in the energy means. He knows just what the master has in store for him. And he is excited. He likes to watch the frustration in his master build, laughing to himself that his lateness would only wind him up all the more. He really _did_ have Aizen in the palm of his hands...

"_Heh, jus' can't wait can ya? Well, I'll make it worth the wait..."_

He chuckled heartily to himself, letting his thoughts wander towards the gutter as he knocked on the door to the master's room. Waiting for the permission to enter to be given to him.

_"How funny"_, he laughed, thinking of the fact that he still had to ask for permission even after all of this time, just to enter his room. Oh well, not that he cared. He was being entertained after all.

"_Very well, guess I'll put ya outta yer misery..."_

A voice beckons him, and Gin opens the door slowly, quietly stepping into the room and then taking the utmost care in 'forgetting' to close the door behind him. Aizen still does not speak a word to him, he is merely silent, and sitting facing away from Gin standing in the open doorway.

"Ya wanted to see me? _Aizen-sama?"_

He puts an emphasis upon his name when speaking, pouring sarcasm all over it. For who here was really the master?

But still, Aizen does not look at him. Not directly anyway, for he has mirrors placed in which to see all that he needs to see.

"Close the door."

Gin complies. The master's voice being harsh and reprimanding, as if Gin had offended him in some way. And yet, it was one of those rare tones that his voice showed whenever his body craved something.

"Lock it."

Gin complies. His master's voice harsher, more demanding now. He wants something.

"Come here, Gin."

Gin complies.

"Playing hide and seek, _were we_ Gin?"

Gin smirked, taking his seat next to Aizen, his smile saying everything and yet nothing to the man right next to him.

"Ya know I can't hide. You got eyes everywhere."


	20. An act of kindness

**Chapter 19: An act of kindness**

Ulquiorra walked quietly, waiting until Aizen's room was far behind them. The girl was walking next to him, with a seemingly blank expression. But he knows that she is contemplating something. And now he knows what. He sighs deeply, deciding that it would be wise to wait until they reach their destination before talking, for these alls have ears, and there are eyes everywhere.

Aizen has always had eyes everywhere. And he always will. That's just the way things were.

"Woman, I need to talk to you."

"Hm? What is it Ulquiorra-sama?"

She looked at him, at his large emerald green eyes. At his pale face and stoic expression. It never once changed since she had first laid eyes upon him. But it was his voice that gave him away. It was his voice that suddenly became serious.

"It concerns you and Aizen-sama."

He wasn't supposed to know. He wasn't supposed to know anything. But he did. He knew because Gin had told him. Gin had stirred things up by talking. If only he had stayed unaware of this entire situation then maybe he would have been able to carry on with his life. But oh no, Ichimaru-sama just had to talk didn't he? He just had to go and provoke. Like he always did. Ulquiorra knew that he probably should have seen this coming, for after all, he was Aizen's most loyal servant and espada. And so he would have gained confidence of the kings plans sometime. But still, he had wanted to remain blissfully ignorant for just a little bit longer. So much for that now though.

"And your womb."

From the look on her face he gathered that she knew what he was talking about. The expression on her face was unmistakable.

"You... you know?"

"Woman, I know what Aizen-sama is like. I know that he is manipulative in getting what he wants. I know this from personal experience."

He paused for a minute, allowing his words to sink in to her mind. But she was a little shocked, was he talking about what she thought he was talking about?

"Ulquiorra-sama... you..."

"Woman, I know what he is asking of you. I know that he wants you to become his woman. He wants to make use of your reproductive organs."

"Yes. And... i know I don't have to, but..."

"Woman, he isn't the type of man that you think he is. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants, from you, from me, from anybody. He won't stop. He won't ever stop..."

She looked a bit worried now. Having never seen this side of Ulquiorra before. She had never imagined that he could be this worried about her. But why was he? Why would he be this concerned?

"Ulquiorra-sama, do you not want me to have sex with Aizen-sama?"

"That choice is up to you. However, if you do choose to comply with his wishes, he will hurt you physically."

"You mean, doing it's gonna hurt me?"

"Yes." Ulquiorra nodded, his eyes forever unchanging. Glancing slightly downwards as he continued.

"I know because... he did it to me."

His voice had become quieter now, less audible by the rest of the world. For this was information only intended for the ears of the one with which he is conversing. And, because he is embarrassed about it. About everything. Not something he wishes the rest of Las Noches to know about; the fact that he and Aizen have had sex previously.

"... he was rough."

Orihime gasped as he continued.

"He said 'it will hurt more if you're a virgin'. Woman, I know he will hurt you. Are you still sure you want to go through with this?"

She swallowed, having been mulling it over in her head for a long while now. She knew that it would hurt, but she didn't know or even think that Aizen would hurt her in any way on purpose. After all didn't he say that he would be gentle with her? Maybe so, but still, she was nervous about it. Well, it is a big step for any woman to give up her body to someone. But she knew that she had to go through with it, for her friends, for Ichigo. So that no harm would come to them.

"I can see that your mind has been made up." he said, turning to face her, looking at her directly. His big green eyes looking intently into hers. And he could see fear. All he saw was fear. Fear at what he'd said to her. Fear of the truth.

"Do you want me to do it with you first? So it doesn't hurt as much?"

Orihime swallowed, the gravity of the situation suddenly hitting her with the force of a tidal wave. And she now realised that she had to make a very important decision. But Ulquiorra Schiffer was told to look after her welfare as he saw fit, and that was what he was going to do.


	21. A transition to madness

**Chapter 20: A transition to madness**

Ulquiorra's expression did not change, but his eyes did. His eyes showed her everything; emotion, concern, worry, fear. For her. For the both of them.

"... woman?"

"I said I don't know okay?"

Ulquiorra looked at her, unchangingly. She was trembling, shaking even. Her voice, her hands, everything about her was just shaking. Her small and delicate hands were trembling so much that they could not be still for more than a second. He actually saw fear in her. Pure, unbridled fear. She was breathing heavily, even her breath shook with the shock she was in. All of her previous perceptions of Aizen had just been completely picked to pieces. Broken. Shattered even. Shown to be nothing but an illusion.

Shown to be a lie.

She clutched her head in her hands and sat on the bed, tears starting to spill from her eyes and cascade down her face. How could everything she had ever thought and perceived about Aizen be a lie? How could she not have seen? Was she that stupid and naïve?

"I just... don't know. I don't know what to do any more..."

Ulquiorra continued to look at her, she was crying. She thought that she could do this, she thought that she was strong enough, she thought that she had erased all of her fears. But she was wrong. Everything was all just too much. And she was afraid.

She was just so afraid. And it showed.

But, she had always been afraid, of Aizen that is. Hadn't she always felt some sharp and sudden twinge of fear whenever in his presence?

Not much was different now, it was still the same. Maybe it was because things were rushed, because things were so suddenly forced upon her. She had been forced to make choices, difficult choices, now more so than ever. There was Aizen, a potentially violent and dangerous man, 'potentially' being the key word here, because for al she knows Aizen could be quite the opposite with her. And then there is Ulquiorra. Perfectly readable. Not at all violent, he never was violent towards her.

He stepped over quietly towards her, sitting down beside her on the bed, placing his cool hand onto hers. His other hand lightly lifting up her chin so she was looking at him, her eyes still flooding with tears as he stared into them, his hand gently touching her cheek.

"It's okay." he said, his thumb wiping away what it could of the wet tears falling down her face.

"No matter what you decide, I shall look after you."

He sighed deeply, this entire situation had taken its toll on her.

"Get some rest, I'll come by to check on you tomorrow."

She sniffed, having calmed down a little, and then when he was sure that she would be alright on her own, he got up and left her. Closing the door shut behind him. And with that he started on the long walk down the vast white corridors back to his own room for the night. His fingertips tracing patterns on the walls as they did when he was deep in his own thought. His mind wandering back to her and Aizen, and this entire situation.

He felt it to be an ever intricate web, with so many lies and so much deceit. And with so many eventualities, so much possibility. It could go any way now, and more than likely could end up with somebody getting hurt. But then again, there was just as much likelihood that nobody would get hurt. It was difficult, tricky to evaluate. There was just so much going on and he felt like he would end up not really knowing anything. He wasn't really supposed to know about this, but he did. And now choices were going to have to be made, regardless of feelings he had on the matter. Regardless of anybodys feelings on the matter.

But only time would tell about that. For now, he needed sleep. He had been awake for many days now, kept awake by many things, many thoughts swirling around in his head. And he was truly tired. But he would think more tomorrow, for now he was just too physically and emotionally exhausted to think, he just wanted rest.

He turned the corner to one of the corridors and stepped down further into the darkness, having to walk back past the master's room along the way. Simply too tired to either notice or care about the muffled voices coming from that room. Ever remaining blissfully unaware of what was being said and done behind that locked door.

Because all he wanted to do right now was sleep. He could worry about everything that was going on between everybody tomorrow morning. He didn't particularly want to know what occured behind that door, not right now anyway. Tonight he wanted to remain unaware of what Aizen was doing in that room.


	22. Plunging into foreign waters

**Chapter 21: Plunging into foreign waters**

Gin let his lips collide with Aizen's, and tongues wrestled as they went tumbling onto the bed. They had long ago thrown off their clothes and the both of them were panting as they lay there. With Gin lying beneath his lover and breathlessly calling out to him, his voice so full of passion and longing through all of the heavy breathing.

"Haaah, Ah! Aizen!" Gin called out, having had his lover very impatiently undress the both of them, with the both of them passionately wresting with their tongues and ending up on the bed, with Aizen on top of Gin.

"Mmm, yes Gin?" he smiled, his eyes full of lust.

"Ahh, I want... I want..."

The hand touching Gin's face slowly crept its way downwards, onto his chest and down onto his abdomen, all the while his eyes never breaking contact with his lover's.

"Hm? You want? You want what?"

Gin hissed as cool fingertips worked their way down further and stroked his length, causing him to shudder and gasp pleasantly.

"You want what, Gin?"

Gin moaned again, his cries half stifled by Aizen's dominating tongue wrestling with his again. His cries of sexual frustration getting the better of him as the warm hand of his lover gently gripped his erection, still all the while never breaking eye contact with him. Gin's face flushing all the more as he felt Aizen's skilled hands working him over.

"Say it."

"Ugghhh, I want you..."

He felt that tongue delve into his mouth again, down into his throat almost, his own tongue fluidly melting into the deep kiss, his body responding to every single one of his lover's subtle movements. They broke the kiss, and Gin shifted his hips, feeling Aizen's muscular body as his hands wandered onto his back, his eyes steadily gazing into him as he lay there beneath him. Aizen smirked as Gin's legs encircled his waist, the tips of his fingers tracing around Gin's entrance and teasing him. Making sure to elicit more frustrated moans and hisses from Gin before pushing his middle finger into him. Making Gin gasp and judder slightly at his movements.

He slid his index finger in also, listening to his lover moan sweetly as he adequately stretched him enough so that he was able to accommodate for the entire length of him. Because for once, his intentions were not to cause pain, but to make love. And pain defeated the object of the act.

"St- stop... teasing me... Aizen..."

Gin was panting quite heavily, his body becoming hot all over as he lay there growling with anticipation.

"Ju- just take me..."

"Impatient today arent we?" Aizen asked him, in a somewhat sinister voice as he removed his fingers from Gin's body, squaring his hips over Gin and leaning into him. Plunging in for another deeper kiss as Gin attempted to pull him in closer. Aizen chuckled very lightly to himself at how demanding his lover was being, deciding to drag out every moment by taking his sweet time teasing him. Listening to Gin's soft pleasured noises, thoroughly enjoying each one before entering him, without warning of course. Making Gin cry out again as he thrusted harshly into him.

"Fuck, you're tight... it has been a while, hasnt it? Since we did this."

"ha, aaaah! Too long..."

Aizen pounded into him, making each movement slow and steady. Soft moans intruding into the quiet air that was in the otherwise empty bedroom, the rest of Las Noches could have fallen and turned into ashes for all they cared, for now they were the only two people in the entire world. They were alone. And they were making love.

Aizen tensed his muscles and Gin clenched around him, desperate for more of him.

"H- harder... fuck me harder..."

"Demanding little _whore _aren't we?"

Gin felt Aizen harshly thrust into him again upon uttering the word 'whore', forcing an estranged cry from him. A cry of half pleasure and half of pain. A beguiling moan as the result of being in ecstasy. A state of pure emotion beyond all sense of rationality. As a result of being swept away in the moment. He didn't care. All that was right now were him and his lover.

"Nuuuugh... Aizen... ugh."

Gin was panting, sweat dripping down his body as Aizen roughly took him, forcing his words to falter with each jerky movement into him, harsh cries and breathless voices echoing into the air. Gin's hips settling into the rhythm as he raked his nails down his lover's back and shoulders, dragging out yet more groans of pleasure from Aizen as he climaxed as the result of Gin coming all over him, letting go of any and all inhibitions and just getting lost in the heat of the moment. Aizen emptying out into him not long after and then relaxing on top of Gin before pulling himself out of him and just laying down next to his lover, who was trembling slightly in his arms. They smiled to themselves, more than satisfied with their activities, and then began to wind down. Calm down their overly heated bodies.

Gin rested his head on Aizen's chest and mused to himself as Aizen played with his hair, just thinking to himself. Piquing Aizen's interest.

"What are you thinking about Gin?"

"Nothin' much."

"I know you're thinking about something."

"Aizen..." Gin sighed, Aizen's fingers amusing themselves with a tuft of his hair. "I wanna baby."

Aizen just smiled at him softly, yet somewhat sinisterly. Chuckling lightly to himself at his lover being broody.

"So you keep telling me. Can you not be patient?"

"Mm, no..."

Gin cuddled up to Aizen and rested his head on his lover's chest, sighing deeply.

"What're ya gonna do when ya win the war anyway? We gonna start our family then?"

"You just let me worry about that."

"Mm" Gin exhaled again softly, his arms comfortably wrapped around his lover now. Somewhat uncertain of the way things were, and of the way things were going to be.

They were lying in bed together now, after having calmed down from earlier, and Gin soon found himself brooding over the recent events in Las Noches. Of the intricate and very intimate plan that his lover had. And for the first time in what was a long time, he was unsure of where he stood with him. He looked up at him, crawling over to be on his chest again and looking at him.

"Ya do love me right?"

"Gin, why do you always ask me such stupid questions?"

"But... ya do, right?"

He was answered with a warm tongue plunging into his mouth again, causing him to melt and his entire body to relax into Aizen, and soft moans to escape him as he returned the frustrated and intensely passionate kiss of his lover.

"Yes."

"And... you aint gonna leave me are ya?"

"Hm, of course not. Now just get some rest, you look like you need it."

"Okay." Gin sighed again, taking a deep breath before making himself comfortable between the bedsheets, ready to drift off into a long and restful sleep.

"I believe ya."

Aizen just smiled, and then kissed Gin's neck before joining him in the land of sleep.

"Hm... Good."


	23. hide your faces, masquerade

Lyrics throughout are 'Masquerade' from Phantom. It's such a catchy song.

* * *

**Chapter 22: Hide your faces; Masquerade!**

Dawn came late to Las Noches the next morning. Well, not like dawn ever could come late, but the artificial sun could not ever fully replicate the real thing. So it's debatable whether or not dawn could actually break through the horizon at all, but that is not important. The point is that the sun was rising, artificial or not. Gin stirred, having slept through most of the night, and a rather large portion of the morning, soundly, not being cold this time, but warmed by the body heat of Aizen for the first time in a long while. He'd been so wrapped up in his plans lately that it seemed Aizen had no time for him much any more recently. Oh well, not like it mattered anyway. He woke up alone that morning, well what was left of the morning anyway, for it was almost noon now. But he could still remember their conversation. His words ringing in his ears. His words. His powerful words. Words that could do anything to him, even destroy his entire world. But he, Aizen, chose not to.

Because Aizen loved him. Or at least, he thought so. No, he knew so. He knew so because he had been told. He stretched his arms up and then got up. Still naked. Damn. How long had he been like this? Most of the night probably, but then again his sense of time had been so distorted ever since he had come here. Despite the fact that Aizen had installed a 'sun'. He dressed lazily and strode out to do whatever he pleased, having free roaming all over the building. His grin, it was broad, as always after their nights together. Not that anybody knew of them, what they did behind closed doors. And that was the way it had to be, if they were ever able to be together. If he was ever able to get what he wanted. A family.

_Masquerade!  
Paper faces on parade.  
Masquerade!  
Hide your face, so the world will never find you!  
Masquerade!  
Every face a different shade.  
Masquerade!  
Look around -  
there's another  
mask behind you!_

"Hm, I think I'ma gonna see Aizen-san t'day."

He stalked the corridors his usual non chalant self. Pondering to himself of the future. What life would be like. Maybe he would go and see Aizen today. Not like he would be allowed to kiss him or anything, but just to talk. Be in his company for a while. After all, Gin was rather bored. Satisfied, but bored. He walked into the room where Aizen was, or where he could sense that he was. He expected him to be alone as well, but he was with her today. He stopped, angry almost. When he saw them flirting, him acting like that with her. The way he was with him. But the words repeated themselves in his head again.

"_I'm doing this for you, Gin."_

He heard those words, but it still hit hard. Seeing it properly, the manipulation, the very depths of the manipulation, was like a heavy blow to his gut. He knew it was a lie, but something inside still seemed to howl. It was like watching Aizen cheat. Watching him _kiss _even.

"_I'm doing this for you, Gin."_

Those words again. He wanted to tear them apart, but he couldn't. He had to restrain that urge, everything would fall apart if he didn't. Aizen would be angry with him. And he didn't ant that. He listened calmly to the voice in his head, to Aizen's voice in his head. The thoughts transmitted to him when a quick stolen glance broke his trance. Their eyes met for all of two seconds, but it was enough.

"_I'm doing this for you, Gin."_

He sighed, steadying himself from the muscle tremors. The doubt. The jealously. And then he left them. He left Aizen to carry on manipulating, deciding that his lover could make it up to him later.

_Masquerade!  
Grinning yellows,  
spinning reds.  
Masquerade!  
Take your fill -  
let the spectacle  
astound you!_

Now Aizen was, and always could be, a terrible flirt. He was sitting with her at the table, conversing with her. He stroked her chin, saying that she had pretty eyes. Well, obviously she did. Aizen would not have said so if she did not. Because that would be lying. He smiled as he watched her become all embarrassed again, the way she normally did whenever she was in his company.

"What? What's wrong when I compliment you?"

"Ah, w-well, it's just... mmnh-"

Her speech was interrupted by his lips against hers again. His tongue invading her mouth and her throat. A kiss, a deep kiss, like before. Passionate, lust filled. Like plunging into the unknown. God it made her weak, such a simple act of his such as kissing him. Strange though. However somewhat enchanting. She knows that he will not rush her, she knows that this has to be consensual. Perfectly, all the way. But she also knows that she cannot back out of this arrangement. So she resigns herself to it. Why not let these strange feelings develop? Even if just for a little while at least. Explore these feelings for now. Explore Aizen.

"Do you like it?"

She answers him with an unintentional, soft, most beguiling moan. Making him wonder why he even asked the question. He knows the answer, he just wants to have it confirmed.

She does not know she is being manipulated, of course. For she is naïve. She is young. She has never had her affections returned. But Aizen can entertain her. Until he gets what he wants that is. Then he could drop her. But, would he? When the time came? Who here knew, but he could have fun with her for a while.

_Masquerade!  
Seething shadows  
breathing lies.  
Masquerade!  
You can fool  
any friend who  
ever knew you!_

He was somewhat enthralled by her. Her innocence, her beauty. She had such an air about her, it was hard for him to explain it. But he felt at ease when he was with her. Well, needless to say she was an attractive woman, with rather fine assets. But that is besides the point. Of course there is physical attraction there, otherwise he would not even consider sleeping with her. But it is the personality aspect of her that he finds the most interesting. Whether or not this interest is something more than just an interest is for him to decide, but for now he just enjoys being where he is. The world at his feet practically. The dominant one in the pack. He is in the place he feels that is naturally his. At the top of the hierarchy looking down, and yet still reaching for the heavens. Because he wants to go higher. For there is an even larger hierarchy that he is only half way up. He smiles to himself again, suddenly realising the time, having looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Making mental notes of the little things he did that made her blush.

"Oh, look at the time, you had better go and eat. It seems that I have some business to attend to my dear." he said, curtly holding her arm out and kissing her hand to bid her farewell and he watched as she left him, her hand choosing to linger in his for just a little longer before she stepped away from him and out of the room. Out of his field of vision.

_Masquerade!  
Burning glances,  
turning heads.  
Masquerade!  
Stop and stare  
at the sea of smiles  
around you!_

She left him rather reluctantly. In fact, she rather enjoyed her times alone with Aizen-sama. But her feelings tell a different story. Her emotions are fighting with each other over two potential mates. She wants to know Aizen more, yet what Ulquiorra says might also be true. But she does not know what to do, who to believe. Aizen said he would be gentle, but Ulquiorra has been lied to by him. She meets him as she walks down the hallway, even if only in passing. His expression stoic, emotionless. Unknowing. He knows, and she knows that he knows, but his expression tells otherwise. It is like he is wearing a mask. A mask that only she knows is there. He traces his fingertips along the walls again, like he always does when he is deep in thought. But she doesn't know that that is one of his habits. Because she doesn't know as much about Ulquiora as she does about Aizen. Or so she assumes. She could be hideously wrong after all. And there was absolutely no telling as to who was telling the truth here. For all she knew, they could _all_ be masquerading right in front of her.

_Masquerade!  
Leering satyrs,  
peering eyes.  
Masquerade!  
Run and hide -  
but a face will  
still pursue you_

She did not want to eat that day. In fact she had already had breakfast, so she decided that she would have something more to eat later in the evening. When she got back to her room she threw herself onto the bed, lying there looking up at the pure white ceiling. She took a deep breath in and out, just lying there in her darkened room, trying to calm her mind and relax for a while. Which she would have done, if she had not had a visitor that day.

"Hi Orihime-chan."

Her eyes widened as she jolted upright, so that she was sitting up on the bed. She had not expected him to be here.

"Hello... Ichimaru-s-sama."

"Aint I already told ya to call me Gin?" he said, standing in the doorway, holding the little white fox again. Well, they were pretty much inseperable after all. The only time in which they were apart was when Gin and Aizen had their sex. Not that she knew that.

_Masquerade!  
Paper faces on parade.  
Masquerade!  
Hide your face, so the world will never find you!  
Masquerade!  
Every face a different shade.  
Masquerade!  
Look around -  
there's another  
mask behind you!_

"Can we come in?" he smiled, waiting earnestly for her reply, clutching his pet. "I wanna talk to ya an' Cherry-chan 'ere jus' wants to say hi."

"Sure, come in."

The little fox barked happily as she jumped onto the bed and warmly greeted Orihime, bouncing all over her and licking her face, making her giggle.

"So, what did you want to talk about Gin-san?"

"Well, it aint so much as 'talk', it's more of a question really."

Cherry looked up at Gin confusedly, making a little whining noise, looking at him and then looking at her again, and then back to Gin. The poor little thing was quite interested and confused.

"What is it?"

_Masquerade!  
Grinning yellows,  
spinning reds.  
Masquerade!  
Take your fill -  
let the spectacle  
astound you!_

Gin's facial expression seemed to drop slightly. Only slightly. But it quickly turned into one of those more severe expressions. And his tone changed to become more serious, more challenging in fact. As if he demanded an answer from her, to a question that she never thought that he would ask her in a million daydreams.

"Do you really love Aizen-sama?"


	24. A little reverse psychology

**Chapter 23: A little reverse psychology**

She looked at him, saying nothing. Stunned into an unnatural silence.

"What? It's a legitimate question. I just wanted to know is all. I know, t'aint likely, but I still wanna know if ya do or not."

He paused midway through his sentence, taking three more steps into the room to lean his hand against the white wall of her bedroom.

"Cuz yer gonna be sleepin' with 'im after all. Aren't ya?"

"Um, well..."

He stared at her blankly for a moment, only to then burst out laughing. He was very much amused at this. Oh yes, very amused indeed. He could play to this.

"Haha! Ya mean you don' know? Yer gonna give yer body to 'im an' ya don't even know if ya wanna! Sorry now, bu' tha's just silly. Surely ye'd know if ya wanna or not..."

"Sorry, Ichimaru-sama..."

She looked down at her hands again, suddenly feeling put down again. Great. This was all she needed right now. She thought about just forgetting the whole thing and backing out right now, but two little furry white paws felt suddenly warm on her hands as she moved her eyes to look at the happy little white fox staring up at her, smiling with her big pink tongue lolling out of her mouth and wagging her tail back and forth. It was as if she were telling her to cheer up. She picked up the creature and Cherry let out a little bark and made herself more comfortable on Orihime's lap. Her tail still wagging slowly from side to side. Looking back up at her master expectantly from her newly found position.

"Hm? Tis okay ya know. After all, this was all kinda forced on ya."

She didn't look at him, she kept her gaze at her hands. Or at least she tried to, because Cherry was now demanding her attention by means of licking her hands and looking up at her with her bright blue eyes. Eyes that just made her melt. And she did wonder how on earth Gin was so immune to her gaze, because she just wanted to melt into a puddle right then. The fox's licks on the back of her hands making her giggle lightly.

Gin smiled at her, taking a few steps over towards her, and then casually and very non chalantly sitting himself down on the bed next to her. He reached his hand out to stroke Cherry's head as she squeaked happily at all the fuss and attention she was getting. Gin's smile softened expidentially when his eyes met those bright blue ones of his beloved pet as he resumed talking to Orihime again.

"Tis okay if ya don't love him ya know. I mean, yer in love with tha' Ichigo kid aren't ya? Well, th' way I see it, he's gonna come a runnin to find ya, don't you worry."

He paused, trying to make her own feelings clear to her, still smiling, wanting to clear her head some more. Letting all of his sentimentality and understanding melt away her confused thoughts and misdirected feelings. Hiding his own misguided thoughts in the process.

_"Then ya can leave him and me alone. Because he's mine, he isn't yours and he never will be. you just remember that princess. You love Ichigo, remember?"_

"Well, yes, I do kind of know that... but, it will be dangerous if he does. Aizen-sama is powerful, and I don't want to see him or anybody else get hurt over me."

"Eh? I 'ad no idea ya felt that way." he responded, looking at her quite confused. For he really had no idea how she felt, and what emotions were buried deep within the pit of her regarding Aizen Sousuke _or_ Kurosaki Ichigo.

"But I guess I'd want ya t'be happy about it... if ya did sleep with anybody. Tis s'posed t'be an act a love. Well, ideally anyway. An' I can sense tha' yer unsure. I dun' want ya to be unhappy about it. Cuz tha's just mean, an' I know how it is when ya don't wanna and yer forced into it. So I'm pretty much th' same as you here. Aint that right Cherry-chan?"

The little fox that sat in the girl's arms let out a few barks and then jumped all over him, making him laugh as she pounced onto him and knocked him over so that he was lying on his back on the bed. Well, she was small, but that didn't mean she was weak. Not at all.

"Yeah, I guess so..."

He giggled as his face continued to garner many licks and in the end he had to take both of his hands and lift her off of his face, still with her bushy little white tail quickly wagging from side to side. He made his best 'I am very cross with you' face but failed to because he was still laughing from before.

"Ahhh~ now I gotta go wash my face again! I hope you're pleased with yerself missy."

Cherry just barked with delight at this and Orihime took this as a chance to take her mind off her troubles for the first time in weeks since she got here.

Gin just pouted. "I take that as a 'yes' then."

"Aww, don't be mean Gin-sama!" She cooed to the young fox as her hands stole her away from her for just a moment, as Cherry decided to make herself comfortable and rest her tiny little head on Orihime's very ample and endowed chest, making good usage of her as a heated futon. Orihime giggled very quietly as Cherry's tail tickled her neck as she nestled herself into her, almost pretending to be asleep to get out of trouble. Well, she wasn't _really_ in trouble, but she was in the kind of fake trouble that Gin knew she liked to be in, because that meant she got some love and attention. Which she always got. Always.

They both watched her sleeping for a while until another sound echoed quietly down the corridor and into the room. It wasn't quite footsteps, but something different. Cherry heard them first, and her ears perked up as she raised her head to look rather expectantly out into the doorway.

"Ah, sorry, we got kinda distracted there didn' we. What were we talkin' about?"

"Aizen-sama."

"Oh yeah. I remember now. Well, er, this's kinda hard to explain... I guess what I'm tryin' ta say is that if yer waiting around fer that Kurosaki boy t'be yer first, an' ya wanna jus' make love to him, then it don't really matter if Aizen has ya first, cuz there's a huge difference between sex an' makin' love. I hope that made sense."

She smiled again, looking at him with a sense of new found respect. Gin could really be insightful when it came to the deep things. But she was grateful that he'd said that, because it was something that deep down she knew, but just needed to hear from somebody else.

"Yeah, it made sense."

"Ah, that be good. I don't fail completely at explainin' things then."

He smiled at her again, closing his eyes tightly while grinning like the Cheshire Cat, perfectly contented with having cleared things up. that was, until, something small and not necessarily light came hurtling into his gut and nearly winding him. The scary thing here being that nobody noticed it coming.

The thing that had hit him was small. And it was white, and had a lot of fur, tufts of which somehow ended up in Gin's mouth when he was suddenly bounced on by this creature.  
It was another fox this time, and it was white like Cherry, but this one had a black tip on his tail, and the tips of it's ears were black as well. It's paws were dark, but not noticeably black, more of a light sooty coloured black, but not as dark as the tips of his tail and his ears. The fox stood on top of Gin proudly, barking happily at having caught his master unawares and surprised him.

Which was his intention of course.

"Neeya~ An' where a you been Mister? I been lookin' all over for you!" he half scolded, still lying on his back and smiling as he looked up at his pet in the usual amused fashion.

"You been hidin' away wi' Cherry-chan hm? I know strolls on the sand 'er romantic an' all, but ya know, ya can't go and get lost fer days. I was worried ya know!"

Tsuku just barked again and jumped off him as he went to get up, barking and wagging his tail as he bounced over to Cherry. Both foxes sniffed each other intently and were greeting each other with such joy. It was like they had been parted for years! Like a joyful reunion of two long lost friends. They were jumping up and down and around each other, they were both so excited to see each other again. And the two of them watched the foxes like doting parents.

They both wagged their tails and nuzzled each other affectionately, their noses touched and Cherry flattened her ears against her head and raised one of her front pas as she looked away sheepishly. Gin only half squealing as he watched.

"D'aww Cherry-chan's in love~"

He then apologised for forgetting his manners again and introduced Orihime to Tsuku. _"Well," _she thought to herself, _"at least somebody found love in Las Noches."_

"Cherry-chan's got the hots fer Tsuku-kun 'ere, ya see, and tis so obvious."

"Aww, they really love each other don't they?"

Gin smiled happily again. "Hmm yep!"

They both waited quietly as the foxes finished their greeting ritual and then lie down next to each other on the bed. Tsuku licking Cherry's ear as if to say 'I missed you my darling' just before he rested his own head down right close to hers.

"I think I'll leave 'em here tonight. I don't wanna wrench 'em apart when they're lyin' all quiet and lovey like that. Can they sleep in 'ere?"

Orihime smiled warmly, well at least now she would have some company tonight. And it wasn't like Cherry would bite her or attack her in any way. And it did show the trust that Gin had in her. Which was a lot, considering that he hardly ever trusted anybody with his gorgeous foxes. And if he did, it was only with those he would trust with his own life.

"Alrighty then." Gin stretched as he got up, because the day was drawing on, and it was pretty late in the evening now. "I'm off. i hope that lil chat cleared things up a bit for ya." he smiled upon reaching the doorway, looking back in at her before he left. "Take care of my lovelies for me now."

She smiled back at him, glancing quickly at the soundly sleeping foxes beside her.

"Hm, of course I will."

"Alrighty then. byebye, have a good night Hime-chan."

And with that, Gin left, only a few minutes before Ulquiorra re-entered the room.


	25. Insecurity, infidelity, indecision

**Chapter 24: Insecurity, infidelity, indecision, indefinition**

"Woman..."

His voice was shaking, his very breathing rattling his rib cage as he stood in the doorway, with the beams of light coming from the corridor throwing his shadow onto the floor, blocking off what little light there already was in the room.

"Ul- Uquiorra-sama? Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

She couldn't really see the minute details of him, but she could see that his hands were watched as he unsteadily stepped over to her, his steps uncertain, it was like his legs had lost their rigidity enough to support him. It was like he had gone into shock, that his body had suffered some severe trauma. His arms were limp by his sides and his chest rose and fell unevenly.

Even now he was still breathing quite heavily.

"Woman..."

He nearly collapsed, managing to support himself by leaning against the wall with his shoulder. The wall cooling to his overly warm body. His natural chill has dissipated, been forced from him even. His breathing wracked his entire ribcage. His lungs rattled with each breath he took. He looked really shaken, and he was struggling to breathe now. He was dizzy and disorientated. Unable to even stand up properly any more, and he probably would have collapsed onto the floor if she had not took a hold of his arm and guided him over to the bed.

He was, for the lack of a better word, a mess. His black hair was just a mussed up mop sitting atop his head. And there were marks on his forearms, along with the small trickles of his blood from very recent puncture wounds on his veins there.

On his face, his once unblemished and perfectly pale face, there was a big dark mark around one of his eyes. A dark bruise, circling his large panda like eyes. In fact it did make him look a bit like a panda. Fair, white skin and a freshly planted bruise for the black markings. Perfectly monotone. Imperfectly scarred.

Because that's what he was – scarred. Beaten, from what could be seen of him now. He was trembling, shaking, breathing harshly. She could hear his lungs rattling inside of him with each and every breath he took. His usual stoicism long gone from him now.

"Oh my god, what's wrong? What happened?"

She watched as he leaned away from her, holding himself up with his unsteady arms, looking down and away from her. Like he didn't want to look at her, like he didn't want her to look at him. His big green eyes glancing away, glancing at the blood slowly pouring down his arms. Hot blood from his own veins warming his skin unexpectedly. She watched as he panted, trying to gather himself, trying to break through the nausea that had overtaken him. He took deep, gulping breaths, trying to abstain from vomiting. He didn't like it when he vomited. He had vomited before and found it to be a rather unpleasant experience, one which he would not want to repeat again.

She looked at him, the shaking being before her, confused. Hurt. Damaged. She was confused as to why, as to what actually happened. Why this had been done to him.

She doesn't know _how_ this even happened, let alone why or who did it. She watched him regain some sense of his body and sat up to look at her. He was still panting, but his breathing had calmed down a bit now, but when he looked at her properly it was like all of his stoicism had just melted away to show just the bare bones of humanity in him. It was written all over his face like the tears cascading down his cheeks.

The obvious hints of pain, the blatant marks of suffering, all were there. Along with the bruises and blood.

"Woman... p- please..."

He tried to steady himself through his obvious shock, bringing his hand to her face, looking into her eyes and trying to convey just how desperately he wanted her to avoid this.

"Please consider this... I don't want to see his damaging ways affect you too. I don't want to see you cry..."

"What happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. It just hurts..."

He winced in pain again and she squeezed his hand. She didn't know what to do. The two foxeshad already woken up and padded over to them, licking the espada and whining softly, like they were worried about him. He stroked Tsuku on the head gently to reassure them and then turned his attention back to Orihime again.

"Please, let me take you first..."

He returned the squeeze on her hand, wanting so much for her to avoid the same fate as him. He wasn't built to suffer this, and she was a lot weaker than him; both physically and emotionally. And if he was breaking apart, then what chance did she have of surviving it?

"Ulquiorra-sama..."

She held onto his hand firmly, it was strange seeing him like this. Really seeing the truth in his earlier words, and how much he was suffering, and how much he had already suffered.

It shocked her, beyond any and all words.

It was like everything she knew and believed was tumbling down right in front of her. Like her whole understanding of the world was crashing down right before her eyes. And she did not like it. She did not like it one little bit. She ached for him, she really did, and being as she is, she does not like to see anybody in this amount of physical and emotional pain. Not even Ulquiorra. She didn't even wan to see _him _breaking apart like this, but it was happening. It was happening right next to her.

"I bought you time woman. I told him you were on your cycle..."

"It's okay. But you didn't have to, you didn't have to let this happen to you..."

He turned his head after shifting his eyes to get a look into hers again. His large emerald green eyes noticing something.

"Why are you crying woman?"

"I'm sorry. It's all because of me that you're hurt... I didn't want you to get hurt..."

He breathed in and out again deeply, his eyes pleadingly gazing at her. He looked like a kicked puppy that had been abused by his master. A puppy that had just been left by the roadside and abandoned.

"It has happened before woman. I will be fine."

But it wasn't fine. It was far from fine. Things were not fine at all.

She was shaking, aching in her very heart for him, strange feelings suddenly stirring from their ever restful slumber. Not just of empathy but something else. Something more than that.

It was mesmerising, this feeling. It was like nothing else existed, only that feeling. But it wasn't just empathy, it wasn't just the feeling of his pain. No, it was something else, something within the deep psychosis. Different. Like stepping into the sun after being in so much darkness. It was bringing them closer and closer together. Close enough so that anything and everything could be seen reflected in their eyes.

Close enough to almost touch each other, without any boundaries being in place between them.

It was not understanding, but something just beyond its reach. Somewhere between knowing something and not knowing. Some invisible force that was drawing them closer and closer together like an unseen artist, and all sense of time disappears the closer they get to one another. Even as they sit there with the door agape, and the only witnesses to this little moment being the two little white foxes sitting with them.

A truly empathetical moment, surreal and ethereal in all its concept. A moment between the prisoner and his captive.

He shuts his eyes for a moment, not even daring to move, breathing in the cool air in an attempt to cool down his body. His heart thudding against the wall of his chest and the beats of the organ resounding into the silence of the eternal night of Huecco Mundo. A night that would never end. Even if the world should disintegrate and turn into ash, even if Aizen rose to and then fell from power, that moon would forever and always be in that pitch black sky above him, watching it all unfold.

He grew calmer, his breath stopping its shaking and his thoughts drifting off slowly. Not noticing her face getting closer and closer to his until he felt a pair of soft lips gently collide with his own.


	26. My love, my rapture

**Chapter 25: My love, my rapture**

His eyes shot open, his body went rigid, and his tongue became limp and submissive. Ulquiorra didn't quite know what was happening to him, or what he was feeling. This was so strange, unfamiliar. Foreign to him, in every possible way.

"It's okay..." she said to him. "It will be fine... I'll let you take me..."

She was clutching onto him tightly now, her hands somehow finding their way onto his neck and face. Onto his cool skin, warming him with her very touch. Her very kiss.

Oh, so this was what kissing felt like. It felt strange. Good, but strange. It wasn't something that Ulquiorra was used to. He was only used to beatings and abuse. He was only used to being used and violated. Hurt. Again and again. Things had never been like how they were now.

He didn't quite know how to respond to this. He knew that this was what he had wanted, for her to let him take her virginity before Aizen, but this wasn't exactly how he had pictured it in his head. This was not at all how he had imagined it would be like. What he would feel.

Her soft hands and gentle voice, her quiet, beguiling, softening moans along with wrestling tongues. The surreality of it all. That deep connection he felt to exist there. It was unexplainable. Her soft lips colliding against his own, her soft breath, her warmth against his natural chill. Like hot and cold meeting and crashing together, like yin and yang. Like light and the darkness, somehow completing each other.

That was how it felt.

That was how it was meant to be? Like this? Having experienced nothing like this before, Ulquiorra does not know. He only knows pain, suffering, abuse. And it is all he knows.

Breaking away the kiss, his heart still pounds. Even now it still beats, this thing in his chest. His breaths are heavy, laboured. Almost as if he is breathless to continue. Like he is unsure. But then again, he has never really been sure of anything regarding her. In fact, he wasn't even sure of anything. Of what was real and what wasn't. There was no concept of that here. Only this endless game of cat and mouse, that would only end after somebody died or the cat caught the mouse.

And the cat always did catch the mouse. Ulquiorra knows because he _is_ the mouse, and Aizen the cat. And the cat always gets what he wants. By one way or another he knew that the cat always got his way, and then he would release the mouse again, only to try and catch him yet again. Simply for the thrill of the chase. Ulquiorra knew that the only way this game would ever end was when somebody died. And even then, he wasn't even sure if the game _would_ really end then.

He panted, trying to steady his breathing. Trying to calm down the trembling breaths escaping his lungs.

"Woman..."

There was a loud bang that echoed down the corridor, making them all jump slightly. The foxes more so than them two. But the noise was only momentary and the two foxes quickly scampered out of the room with their tails in the air. Either afraid of the sound or off on their way to find out what it was. They were very curious creatures those foxes, and did love to investigate. He got up and followed them, waiting in the doorway as he watched them disappear. Waiting until they had vanished around the corner before closing the door as quietly as he could. The hallways of Las Noches would be deserted now, and there wouldn't be anybody that was even remotely likely to come unannounced into the girl's room. He laid both of his palms flat onto the surface of the door and paused, taking in the silence before turning his head to glance back at her again.

"Take off your clothes."

She complied with this. Slowly removing her garments that had been provided for her, letting them fall to the floor from her shoulders. She kept her hand on her arm, close to her shoulder but not on it. It was as if she did not want him to see her exposed form. She kept her arm there, covering the modesty of her breasts, keeping her head slightly turned to the side.

He undressed also, taking his jacket off and dropping it rather unceremoniously onto the floor. Then undoing the belt and dropping his trousers. Stepping out of them to fully display his naked form to her. His expression unchanging. Apart from his eyes being substantially wide. His pupils having dilated to let in more light in the dark room, enabling him to see more. Her eyes moved to look at him. The evidence of her innocence showing in her eyes and facial expression. It was written all over her that she has never seen the fully naked form of a man before, let alone Ulquiorra's. His structure she would have thought to have been perfect if if were not for the gaping circular hole in his chest. That was the only thing to mar his perfectly imperfect form. He was all angles and lengths where she was more curvatious. More refined. Everything about her just seemed to be the perfect size, the perfect shape. Disregarding the size of her very ample chest.

He walked over to her slowly, his eyes not once wandering away from hers. They never broke eye contact, they just stared into each others eyes, intoxicated by this moment. This realisation. She was sitting back on the bed again, as she was before, her hand still covering what it could of her breasts. Their faces were closer now, and she looked up at him with a look of both apprehension and some fear. His expression still serious and more stoic than before. He stopped, only inches away from her now, and everything went so unnaturally quiet.

"Are you sure now?"

She tried to keep her breathing calm and quiet, not wanting to wreck the mood of this moment. Mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

"Yes."

"Alright," he said, his nose almost touching hers as he quietly pressed his lips onto hers again, breaking away just as quickly as he had initiated. "lay back."

She did so, his hands running up the very edges of her ribcage and onto her shoulder blades, gently lowering her so that she was lying on her back on the bed. Carefully, like he didn't want to damage her. Which is something he does not want to do. She is fragile to him. And he wants to break her gently, not harshly, but as painlessly as possible. Maybe even lovingly.

He took his fingertips and gently pressed on the inside of her legs, spreading them apart slowly, not causing any pain or discomfort. Breathing slowly, quietly. Waiting. Watching every reaction, every movement. Feeling his length grow stiff as his hands roamed onto her hips, guiding her into the right position. She kept her hands limp by her sides, not really knowing what to do with them as he levelled his hips and body over hers. His expression saying nothing, but his eyes speaking their volumes. It was the things that were left unsaid that meant everything.

She blushed and moaned quietly as his erection gently nudged the lips of her entrance, inexplicit noises quietly escaping her throat as she shut her eyes. His hand left her waist and found her wrist, and then eventually her hand. Her small and delicate fingertips being gently squeezed reassuringly. Evoking more and more strange feelings within her, from something that she had anticipated to be an emotionless act.

"Are you ready?"

She whimpered again, before nodding her head in the affirmative. Albeit unsurely. But Ulquiorra was being patient, not rushing anything. Not forcing her into anything. This was perfectly consensual. He squeezed her hand again.

"This will hurt."

She shut her eyes tightly again, waiting. Waiting for him to enter her. That moment seemed to last forever. It seemed to be a thousand eternities long. It did not seem to want to end. But she knew she had to relax so that it wouldn't hurt as much. That she had learned from some of the other girls at school from listening to some of the stories of their first times.

He entered her body slowly, her passage seeming to clench as he did so, drawing out some substantial sounds from her throat again as pain took over. Ulquiorra was still holding onto her hand as she squeezed his hand back as he pushed further into her so that he was fully inside of her. Sending strange waves of unbridled pleasure through her entire body. He waited a few moments for her to adjust to him being inside of her, watching her open one of her eyes to look at him. Her flushed face becoming red and heated. Looking enraptured almost, if he knew no better word to describe her expression at this present moment. His expression was softer. He looked at her because he knows what this kind of pain felt like at first. But he was being gentle with her.

She arched her back as he gently pounded into her, drawing out further moans of pleasure and shudders of excitement from her eager body. His movements in and out of her slow and fluid. Not rushing anything. Taking it slowly. Not being at all rough or hurtful, but gentle. More loving. Or, what could be considered to be loving anyway. His thrusts into her becoming more rhythmic as her hips settled into his movements. Ever unknown pleasures convulsing through them in the throes of their bodies melting into one entity. Cries so full of passion and moans of pure pleasure filling the nights warm air as they made love. She, having surrendered her body, her mind, her soul to unfathomable desires of others. He, not wanting to see her get hurt by these desires of the others that threatened to damage and wreck lives. Not just hers, but the lives of many. His included. He does not want anybody to break this innocent creature, something so intriguing, something so beautiful.

Because he could not think of any other word; she was beautiful.

Not just in body, but in mind. In her eyes there was this flicker, just a small flicker of light in this otherwise dark and empty place. In this empty world. It was like light and darkness coming together, like the sun and the moon being in the sky both at the same time. It was so surreal, one of those rare moments in time where everything just seemed to slow down. Like they were the only two beings in existence. Existing only in a rapturous embrace of lovers, their eyes not breaking contact, the fingers on their hands intertwined as he took her, emotions being stirred up and shaken about within the depths of them, dangerously. For they know that this, what they are doing now, is indeed dangerous. And that the consequences would be dire if anybody ever found out. But for now, they simply do not care. They simply want to get lost. In this, in the moment, in each other, and make love long into the night. Only to fall asleep afterwards in each other's arms, too tired to even move.

And too exhausted for words that didn't even need to be said.


	27. Start of something beautiful

**Chapter 26: Start of something beautiful**

Orihime did not awake until the sun was at its highest point in the sky looming over Las Noches. Ulquiorra was awake before her, only, only he did not move from the bed for fear of waking her from her ever restful sleep. He knew it was only a matter of time before she woke up though, and the burdens she carried would become heavier. Because that is how it was. She being the captive and he the humble servant of the master. Not even allowed to disagree with him, or else they would both suffer greatly.

His thoughtfulness of her had been slowly increasing in nature over the short time that she had been here. Not just because of his duty to the master, as he was only the humble servant, but because he did genuinely care for her. It was a complex feeling, one that made him often light headed and more aware of her presence. She was lying quietly on his chest and he was just watching her sleep soundly. In the state of bliss that she was in now.

He knew that this wouldn't last for long though, for the master would be summoning her away from him soon enough, when the time came. And he would have to let her go. He stroked her hair softly, playing with the lengths of it in between his fingertips, taking the scent of the princess into his nostrils and sighing deeply, not really wanting this moment to end. Not wanting to have to face the upcoming inevitable time when the princess would be snatched from the servant by the master and taken away from him. Regardless of how he felt about being the servant in all this.

He was lost somewhere deep in his train of thought when she did eventually stir from her slumber, still in a dream like state from before. Almost like she were intoxicated. Not quite drunk, but getting there.

"We have to get up soon, woman."

"I know. But can't we just stay here for a little while longer?"

He sighed, bending to her will, giving in to her request. For he is but the humble servant and she is the lovely princess.

"Alright."

They spent the next few hours together, their bodies entwined with each other, in silence. The door to the room firmly closed. They lay undisturbed, for nobody had any interest in the master's new pet. And the master himself was away, so they were alone for the most part of the day. And anybody that came looking for Ulquiorra out of their free will was looking for a death wish anyway. So nobody would come looking for either of them. So for now, Orihime was Ulquiorra's princess.

At least until Aizen returned to claim her.

These hours soon became days. And they would often spent the majority of their time together, mostly just talking, for there was nothing much else to do to pass the time here in Las Noches. And over time the strange feeling that Ulquiorra had began to grow stronger. It was a weird feeling, like his chest was being wrenched asunder inside of him, and his instincts sought to be more of the protective nature of the girl. Of Orihime. He could not fathom why though. They would often wander together through Las Noches and its endlessly innumerable white corridors. With her happily walking beside him, where before she would have stayed behind him only some distance away. Something had changed, and he could sense it. Something had changed inside her, inside him. It was like they had grown closer in some way, not just physically but... emotionally.

He once took her outside the dome of Las Noches, because she wanted to see the moon. Which, of course, Aizen had forbidden. As their entire relationship had been so. But he had taken her where she wanted to go, having to guide her every single step of the way. Holding onto her hand and helping her to climb through the little hole he had created.

He remembered her awe at the sight of it, he remembered her smile and how she twirled around in the sand around his still form, he remembered that joy she felt, and how she had held his hand as they stood and watched the moon rise. It was much like a surreal dream.

He remembered how he had kissed her, too.

He remembered how strange it felt to be with her. To be metaphorically completed, to be treated so much differently from the way that his master had so cruelly treated him. Maybe that was it. Maybe this just felt strange to him because this was different, and that he was experiencing tenderness for the first time. To be happy.

Most often they would be seen walking around Las Noches, enjoying their new found freedom away from the ever watchful eyes of Aizen. Gin was very seldom seen as well, and so this further increased their freedom, although the fact that the walls of Las Noches had many eyes still eluded them at this point. As did the fact that the ever watchful eyes of the smiling fox featured man were following every step that they took from behind the scenes. Watching them grow ever closer, and watching over their newly found relationship; the bond that was strengthening between Aizen's princess, the hand picked carrier of his child, and the servant, the distraction of her attentions. The thing that would effectively divert her affections away from his lover very effectively indeed.

Gin watched them, sitting in a rather large office like chair, stroking the head of his pet fox who had already made herself quite comfortable on his lap, just opposite from her mate who was lying sprawled out on the nearby coffee table with his leg just handing over the edge. His black tipped tail wagging slowly from side to side in his sleep. Gin was quite satisfied with the images that were in front of him on the numerous screens in front of him. Images from the surveillance cameras that had been planted throughout the building.

And he smiled to himself, knowing that things were indeed moving forward. In exactly the fashion that he had intended them to when he stepped back from them to watch.

All he had to do now was wait for Aizen to come back...


	28. Such a disrespectful man

**Chapter 27: Such a disrespectful man**

Gin didn't have to wait very long.

He only had to wait a couple more days before the master returned to his abode. Having returned unnoticably, as was usual. It was normal for him to often vanish for days on end only to reappear much later. Nobody else really knew what Aizen got up to when he was absent from Las Noches apart from Gin, and even then the details divulged were sketchy. So it would be a safe assumption that what, exactly, Aizen did was simply left up to the listeners wild speculation and imaginative storytelling ability. Of course, the master himself would chance across one of these stories, and be amused as they often were far off guesses combined with the vivid, and sometimes dirty and perverted imaginings of those who followed and obeyed him.

Often Gin would awake to find him in the mornings in the kitchen, but more often than not, he would be disturbed from sleep by pokes and prods. Or the wandering of hands.  
This was one such occasion.

And one that would be no different from the others.

Gin was sound asleep, and so did not hear the door softly shutting. Neither did he see the crack of light being thrown onto the floor momentarily as the master made his ever so discreet entrance into his domain. Slipping between the sheets without a single sound. Fingers brushed the hair from Gin's closed eyes, prompting them to open and display their true crimson colouring. He knew there was only one person that would dare to enter his room without knocking.

Or, even dare to enter his room altogether. He knew who this was.

"Nuugh, yer such a disrespectful man... don'tchya ever knock no more?"

He was answered with a playful smirk gracing the lips of the master, who had already abandoned all of his clothing apart from his white hakama, as had Gin. Not that Gin would be wearing his for much longer, but that fact depended on how impatient the master was.

Which turned out to be quite impatient indeed.

"Now where would the fun be in doing that?"

This was met by an even more unnerving smirk from the roused sleeper, possibly an inclination for the other to continue. Because this type of late night encounter only ever meant one thing.

"Sadist."

"Does that make you my masochist?"

"I haven' complained before."

"Hmm, no, but you should ought to know when I'm impatient. Don't undress."

"Oh, not seein' yer lil princess tonigh' then?"

"Obviously not."

Something along the lines of a gasp escaped him, as warm hands wandered their way down his chest, gently resting upon his waist on either side, causing the white robe he was wearing to slip off his shoulders, exposing the palest, unmarked skin. Said hands also exposing his chest as they worked their way downwards. The master eliciting sudden yelps of both pleasure and surprise from the white haired one whom he had stealthily crawled on top of, straddling him almost with the way he was positioned over him. Taking great, great pleasure in the excited shudders of Gin as he casually lowered himself to suck on Gin's nipple to elicit some sensuous amount of moaning from him.

"Uhhh, Aizen... haaa. Fuck!"

"Shush."

That made Gin silence immediately, only able to breathe through heavy pants as Aizen leaned over, his hand reaching out towards the dresser beside the bed, and towards the drawer, leaving the already tensed Gin aching for this to continue, his hand eloquently opening the drawer, pulling out a tube of lubricant.

"Nurrr, must ya tease me?"

"Oh, but I like teasing you."

The master's hands purposefully sought out to expose his young lover through his hakama, roaming up his legs and onto his hips as he juddered impatiently, waiting to be screwed stupid. But Aizen was taking his time, toying with him and delaying, making him just more and more sexually frustrated and tense as Aizen's fingetips lingered on sensitive areas. Gin's hips now angled receptively towards his master's pelvis.

Not even permitted to beg for him.

"Ugh, please..."

"I told you to shush."

He could only watch as Aizen undid the knot to his hakama, exposing him fully, his chest, his legs, his hips, as well as his ever hardening penis. Gin's eyes widened, as did Aizen's smirk when he squirted the lubricant onto his hand and rubbed it onto his erection, covering it in the substance before replacing the tube onto the dresser it originated from. He then crawled over Gin, getting his hips in the right position over his lover, still giving a provocative yet sinister smile.

"Let us begin, shall we?"

Only then did Aizen allow Gin the pleasures of his tongue over his own. The crashing of lips against one another that brought along soft moans and whimpers from this deeply tongued kiss. Breaking away prematurely, as was the master's bad habit.

"Now, you can scream."

Aizen had entered him, with no warning. Eliciting the screams of both pain and pleasure simultaneously that he most desired to hear from the younger one's throat once he had given permission for them to leave him.

His strangled cries. For he knew that he would not be hearing them again any time soon.

He began pounding into him, Gin's legs being held up around his waist as his master and lover thrust harder and harder into him, making him cry out with no restraint. Pleasure filling them as they slowly reached their climax, not at all quietly. Aizen groaning as he emptied into Gin, forcing him to come quickly afterwards, the sticky substance spreading all over his hips and slowly dripping down the inside of his leg.

They continued until Aizen, sighing in exhaustion, removed himself from his panting, blushing lover beneath him. Indulging in one more kiss before permitting sleep to come and take over. Gin moaning softly before drifting off into the land of sleep in the warm embrace of his master, his lover. Whispering quietly to him.

"Mmmm... I love you."

"I know." he responded, "And I you."

He watched Gin smile softly and then fall asleep next to him, not really caring that their clothes had been completely defiled by their recent activities. And the master did smile to himself, and at his lover, his loyal servant that had followed him wherever he chose to go.

"I will make you a baby soon Gin." he soothed, watching the white haired one fall slowly into sleep, stroking his white hair, with tiredness now overcoming him also.

"Just you wait okay."

And with that, once they felt that they could stay awake no more, they fell asleep.


	29. Can't read my pokerface

**Chapter 28: Can't read my pokerface**

Aizen was alerted by his lover's wakening by the soft and contented moan coming from his bedmate. He savoured the sound, for he knew that he would not be hearing it again any time soon, if this plan was to go ahead. But it was what Gin wanted, and Aizen _did_ promise him heaven and earth. Even if it was with drunken words, and Gin was now holding him to it. Anything Gin wanted he would deliver. But he had this nagging feeling about it. About playing with a stranger. Would he be able to restrain himself emotionally? Would he be able to remain dominant over the other side of him – the other personality – for as long as required? He had already fought it before and made it submit and acknowledge him as the stronger of the two of them, but he still remembered the warning it gave him.

"_I'll be waiting Sousuke... I'll be waiting for when your guard is at its weakest. And then I'll pounce on you. I will devour you... just you wait. It will happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but when you least expect it. So watch out for me Sousuke, because I'll be waiting."_

He sighed again and Gin stirred from his restful sleep. Satisfied, as always.

"How nice of you to join me." Aizen said, gently teasing him as he stroked Gin's hair. Gin groaning as the sun ushered him into the waking world. Blinding him, so that he had to bury himself into Aizen's chest to cover his eyes fro the unnecessarily blinding light filling the room through the window. Aizen laughed softly, still playing with the tufts of Gin's white hair with the very tips of his fingers, as if he were afraid to touch it with anything more than the fingertips. Gin looked up at him, his red eyes barely open, but open enough so that Aizen could see the colour of them.

"Hm? What is it? Ya lookin' troubled."

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Don' lie to me... yer worried it's gonna come back again, aren't ya? The hollow inside ya."

Gin's arms tightened around him, protectively. He still remembered Aizen's struggle with it from before; how it nearly cost him his life. And so he was afraid. He'd nearly lost Aizen once, and wasn't about to accept the possibility that it could happen again. In fact, he didn't even want to think about it.

"Yes."

"No, I can't let that happen to ya again. I'd die..."

"Hm, I'm sorry, I did not mean to scare you." Aizen soothed, his muscular arms returning his lover's fearful embrace, his protective side fully coming in now. His desperation to simply be with him. And Aizen thought to himself that this in itself was odd. Natural, but odd. Natural because when one loves something, one desires to protect it from harm, and odd because this side of Gin was rarely ever seen by anyone except him and maybe Cherry and Tsuku. Even though lately Gin had been spending more time with him than usual. Or maybe it was because Gin needed him more than he needed Gin. Who knows. But the fact was that they were together and neither one wanted that to change. He stroked Gin's hair softly again.

"Don't worry."

"Ya say that but I worry anyway. I were jus' so scared th' las' time. Ya went nuts..."

"I know, but that is over now."

"Mmm, I hope so."

"It is." Aizen responded, with a reassuring tone in his voice that he hoped would dispel all doubts. He did not like it when Gin worried over him. It was not necessary.

"Now kiss me."

Gin did not need to be told twice, he initiated a deeply tongued kiss, engaging his lover's tongue into a natural rhythm as he made Aizen moan sensually, lying on top of him as Gin further dominated his tongue. His hands entertaining themselves on the back of gin's pale neck, with the couple of affectionate bruises left there from previously. Bruises he had left there.

The kiss broke off. Aizen smiled, rolling over to be on top of Gin and initiating yet another passion filled tongue wrestle. Making Gin laugh softly and turn his head to the side when he broke away, leaving Aizen to breathe down his neck.

"Hmm Aizen..." he teased, "twice in one day... you do spoil me."

"No, I just like teasing you. Besides I need to conserve my energy for later tonight."

"Oh, I see. So how 'bout ya let me make you feel good fer a change? Le' me ride seme fer a change."

"Hmmmm... no."

He then got out of the bed and decided to himself that he needed a shower. He was still a bit sticky from Gin's outburst last night, and so he realy did need to shower. Gin was still relaxing in bed, no doubt in some amount of physical pain, no matter how small.

"Gin."

Gin looked up upon hearing his name being called, not at all phased by Aizen's naked form. He had seen it too many times now for it to even begin to shock him now. Not like before when they were first together back in the soul society when Gin couldn't even look at him naked without his body sexually responding to him. Needless to say, Aizen took _full _advantage of this.

"Shower with me."

The day soon passed, and Aizen, having finished all of his previous business with the espada, was left to be alone with Gin. Gin was currently sitting on Aizen's lap, with his hands hanging loosely around his lover's neck. His fingers interlocking with each of his hands. They were just talking. Talking about the future and Aizen was allowing Gin to fantasise about the baby he would raise with Aizen, quite submersed in bliss at his life now after all that had happened between them both.

"Well, it's getting late."

"Aww. Yer getting' rid a me this early?"

"If you want a baby, then yes."

Gin sighed happily, his grin softening again. He really thought that things couldn't get any better than this.

"Alright."

Aizen smiled at him, leaning in to Gin and planting his lips over Gin's, gently sliding his tongue into his lover's mouth and exploring every crevice of it, allowing Gin to reciprocate and explore him. He let his tongue play with Gin's for a few minutes, feeling Gin's warm hand on his face and neck before they disengaged.

"Now go. I will see you in the morning."

Gin smiled again. Well, in fact, he hadn't stopped smiling all day, which was pretty much usual for him. But he was smiling genuinely for Aizen, even if only for Aizen.

"Hm, g'night then."

Aizen watched as Gin slid off him and happily strolled out of the meeting room, leaving him alone for what would be a few minutes before Ulquiorra, whom he had previously summoned, entered the room and greeted him.

"You wanted to see me, Aizen-sama?"

Aizen smirked inwardly as he responded to the stoic arrancar, a smile steadily creeping its sinister little way across his jaw line.

"Oh, Ulquiorra. Is Orihime available to join me tonight?"

"Why yes, Aizen-sama. The woman is in her room right now."

"Good." Aizen said, his voice becoming harsher, yet still calm, and only a slight more demanding as he continued.

"Then bring her to me."


	30. God from the machine

**Chapter 29: God from the machine**

Ulquiorra nodded, ackowledging the order. Whether he agreed with it or not was another matter entirely, but still he needed to at least aknowledge his master's voice.

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

"I will be in my room. Bring her when she is ready."

Ulquiorra knew that when he said 'ready', he meant 'properly dressed and acceptable in appearance to see me'. So therefore she could take whatever time she needed, within reason of course. As long as it was reasonable, Aizen would not mind waiting a little.

"Yes Aizen-sama." he replied again, before slowly turning on his heels and exiting the room.

"Oh, and Ulquiorra..."

He stopped, waiting for his master's voice again

"Yes, Aizen-sama?"

"You are instructed to use force if it is required."

"Of course, Aizen-sama."

He then exited the room. Turning the corner of the corridor and taking the long walk back to Orihime's room again. His fingers subconciously tracing the walls as they did whenever his brain was preoccupied. This was it. This was really it.

He had to let go now.

He couldn't turn around. He couldn't go back. Nothing could alter this inevitability. Because Aizen always got what he wanted. Always. Because that was just how it was, and always had been.

His fingers traced in innumerable patterns as he walked the halls, turning corners through the never ending number of passageways that existed in Las Noches. One could so easily become lost in this place. Never to find their way back out again. Just so easily stumble into the unknown and into strange territories. Much like the metaphors of the people there. Just like Aizen; one could become so lost in him. Not know where to stand, not knowing their place with him. Whether to stand as an equal or play the submissive. It was impossible to tell. Ulquiorra himself was lost. And as such he had made many mistakes. One of which turned out to be very painful a lesson to have learned.

He did wonder though, would it be alright for her? Would she get hurt?

Maybe. But then again, he didn't know. He would never know, but he had tried to protect her. Gotten her used to doing it; having sex. Yes, he knew that was the reason he was calling her. He knew. He knew it was going to happen eventually anyway. But mostly he knew from the look in his eyes. He had seen that look before, directed at him. That same look... the one that resulted in pain.

But maybe he wouldn't hurt her as much. Because she was a lot weaker. Who knew. Maybe.

He thought to himself and then he realised there were too many 'maybe's. Too many possibilities. Too many ways in which this situation could go.

This was why Ulquiorra hated games.

Manipulation.

Deciet.

Not knowing.

Cheating.

It was cheating. Well, to him, it was cheating, hiding the rules and only revealing them when mistakes were made so that the cat would catch his mouse. That was cheating. He continued walking, his footsteps echoing into the silence. Vast corridors in almost every direction. Like a maze. But he knew where he was going. He got to the door and his hands dropped to be by his sides, falling limp and lifeless from the wall his fingertips were tracing their swirls on. He knocked on said door.

"Woman, I'm coming in."

Normally he would have waited to know if she was decent before he entered, but he had seen it all already. So it didn't matter.

Orihime was sitting on one of the chairs when he came in, reading one of the books that Aizen had provided for her; one of his own books of poetry, and she seemed a little surprised that he, Ulquiorra, had come in.

"Hello Ulquiorra-sama." she smiled, with him keeping his usual stoic, unchanging facial expression.

"Come with me. You've been summoned by Aizen-sama."

She paused, looking like a little rabbit caught in the headlights of a car.

"I have been instructed to use force if required. Now come with me, woman."

She got up and followed him out of the room. Quickly. A little too quickly for Ulquiorra's tastes.

"Why must you always be in such a rush to go and meet people?"

She took this as her cue to slow down a little as she walked, and he took a hold of her hand. His breathing quieting as they walked towards their already predietermined destination.

"Are you okay with this?"

The question buzzed around her head. Was she really alright with this? Well, she had already had sex with Ulquiorra, so she supposed that it would feel the same as it would with Aizen now. So yes, she did duppose that she was ready. But that didn't stop her heart from thudding away within her chest. That didn't kill the nerves, or the twinges of anticipation coursing through her.

"Yes."  
"Alright then."

Because she did not know what Aizen would be like. Different from the way Ulquiorra was, of course, but in what way? What would she feel? What would she _think?_

Being the mouse in this game, it made everything impossible to determine. But she does not know that she is the mouse. She is only a woman with a man, maybe even a man she is developing some sort of feelings for, that is willing to accept her as his. Claim her as his lover. But there is emotional conflict there.

She did not even realise that they had gotten to the door of Aizen's bedroom she was so deeply lost in her thought. Neither had she realised that her grip on Ulquiorra's hand had gradually gotten tighter and tighter. Which made her snap her hand away and a spark of guilt to pass across her when she thought she had inflicted some amount of pain on him. But Ulquiorra is indifferent. Either he feels the pain and ignores it, or he does not feel it. She sussed that the former was true as she watched him knock on the large door in front of them, locking her fingers on each hand together.

"Aizen-sama. I have brought the girl."

The door opened to reveal Aizen, and a warmly lit room behind him, despite the darkness outside visible through his window.

"Oh you're here." he smiled calmly down at her, her eyes now quite wide as they returned his gaze.

"Thankyou Ulquiorra, you can go now."

Ulquiorra nodded politely, giving a knowing yet reassuring glance back towards Orihime, thankfully one that went unnoticed by Aizen, before he walked away. Leaving the two of them together for the evening. And what would become the entire night.

"Well my dear," Aizen said, placing his hand on the back of her shoulder and welcoming her into his territory. "do come in. I've been expecting you."


	31. In the devil's bedroom

**Chapter 30: In the devil's bedroom**

Once Aizen had invited her in, Orihime took a few dainty steps into the large room. Of course, it was a white room, because everything in Las Noches was white. And apparently Aizen liked white. But trying to be casual, she just wandered into the room in which Aizen spent what he could of his free time. Doing what, she could only imagine. From her previous experiences she could tell that he was very intellectual, and so would either read or contemplate whatever he would contemplate before going to sleep. Maybe some plot or another. But she didn't know. Maybe she would never know; she couldn't mind read. An ability that would surely serve her well in the circumstances she was now in.

She heard the door close softly shut behind her, her footsteps echoing out into the quiet bedroom. He was leaning against the door frame, hands aloft by his sides. She watched him stretch out comfortably, his arms above him as he walked after her into the room. He then strode past her and took off his coat. Lazily, as he usually did, just carelessly tossing it onto the back of one of the chairs.

"I am supposing you know the reason as to why you were brought here, Orihime?"

She swallowed, nodding her head in response. Her limbs becoming rigid, as she became able to hear her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Beating against the wall of her chest and threatening to burst its way out through her ribcage and splatter onto the floor, taking all manner of her blood and tissue with it. A cold shiver running up her spine as his voice reached her ears after echoing through the room.

"You and me are going to have sex tonight."

He smirked at her, and her throat ran dry.

She watched him undress. Taking off his clothes to leave his body completely naked before her. Simply dropping his clothes into a pile next to him as he stood there, completely exposed in front of her so she could take a good look at him. She noticed that he was not an unattractive male. His broad shoulders and eloquently placed collarbones really standing out to her. He even _looked _strong. Even though she thought he was supposed to, but this was the first time that she was really seeing him... naked.

As a man.

His chest was muscular, and well sculpted, forgetting for one moment that he was her captor, she would have even called him her god. He was, to her... remarkably beautiful. Surprisingly so.

Her eyes wandered down his form, taking him in. Her gaze inadvertently being drawn to look at his penis. Now, Orihime, being as innocent as she is, has not laid eyes upon a males reproductive organ before. So naturally, that is all she can look at. Even though she tries not to, her eyes come back to Aizen's penis. She can't help it. But she did not notice the grin silently forming on his jaw as she gazed at him.

"Do you like what you see?"

She squeaked, quickly going red in embarrassment. From what she could gather from his expression he was really enjoying this. As expected. He did like to tease...

"Hm... undress for me, Orihime dear."

"Y- yes Aizen-sama."

She complied. Slowly taking off her clothes in such a feminine fashion. Almost shy, even. Like she did not want him to see her bare and exposed. She took off her outer layer and then slowly unzipped the white strapped dress she wore underneath, exposing half of her waist and her hip. She looked down and away from him as she slid the straps from her shoulders, letting it fall onto the floor before she stepped out of it, with her arm covering the modesty of her breasts.

Her breath shook as she heard his bare feet pad across the room towards her, to stand in front of her. She looked up at him, her face blushing as their bodies were in such close proximity with each other. Him looking down at her, and feeling her soft cheeks with his fingertips, lightly tilting her head up to look into his eyes. His other hand holding onto her wrist and gently lowering her arm away from her breasts.

"You do not have to hide from me..."

His voice was warm, comforting. And reassuring enough to melt away some of her fears, even though this was nothing new to her. But her feelings were so different with Aizen now than they were with Ulquiorra. For numerous reasons.

Ulquiorra was gentler physically, she felt like she knew Ulquiorra. That she understood him. But Aizen, she just didn't know about. But maybe that was what drew her to him, the mystery, the excitement of someone new, along with the physical attraction. The lust.

She was distracted with her thoughts, her mind drifting back to think of Ulquiorra when she felt a pair of soft, familiar lips against her own, juddering her back into reality, and so she suddenly became quite still. With both her arms going limp by her sides as he gently kissed her, pulling out a soft moan from her throat as he pulled away, his deep brown eyes locking with hers as he spoke in a sensual, hushed voice for only her to hear.

"I've just finished drawing a bath. Would you please join me."


	32. Bathe in my waters

**Chapter 31: bathe in my waters**

Upon entering the bathroom the heat from the bath became visible from the faint lines of steam emanating from the waters surface. The heat radiating from the warm water into the air, hitting her skin as soon as she walked in. It was a feeling similar to that of walking into a sauna, with the amount of steam in there. She continued to pad into the room, with him not far behind her. Again, closing the door after they had both entered the room. Well, they were both naked after all, and if anybody happened to walk in then it would wreck the mood. Not to mention it would be rather embarrassing and socially awkward. Not that Aizen had any shame of course. He smirked at her as he strode past, just casually brushing his shoulder past her own, the sensations of skin against skin making her jump slightly. Before she realised that this wouldn't be the minimal amount of bodily contact she would have with him, blushing slightly as she suddenly realised how stupid getting all embarrassed now was. She watched as he climbed into the white bath, observing every minute movement of his back muscles and shoulder blades as he relaxed into the water, turning his body around to sit comfortably to face her. The water was very bubbly, so she couldn't see anything from where she was standing. He closed his eyes and relaxed, letting out a quiet sigh as he sat in the water, then looked at her again, with that same soft smile he always wore whenever he was graced with her presence.

"Join me, Orihime. It really is quite relaxing."

She snapped back to attention, having gotten lost in watching him. Which many of us have probably done from time to time. As have Aizen's previous consorts. She stared and watched him for a long and quiet moment, as he slowly beckoned her to him with his index finger. Prompting her to oblige and get into the water with him. Stepping over the edge to dip her feet into the water as she gripped the sides to support herself.

Her feet went into the hot water first, quickly followed by the rest of her body. With Aizen intently watching every single tiny movement of her exposed body. His expression _quite_ satisfied with the vision before him. As would pretty much any man.

She lowered herself into the water to sit down, letting all of her muscles relax. All of this tension had done nothing for her body. So it was nice to be able to completely relax for the first time since this whole thing had begun. That was, until she realised who she was currently with.

"See," he smiled gently at her, sidling up next to her. "I told you it was relaxing didn't I? Though I don't suppose you've ever bathed with a man before, have you?"

"Mnn, no I haven't. But, Aizen-sama, isn't this -"

He cut her off there, not so subtly pressing his lips against hers. Listening to the soft moan she gave before slipping his tongue in subtly. Urging her tongue to wrestle with his. His fingertips caressing her soft skin from her chin up onto her reddened cheek, pulling her unwittingly closer. Deepening the kiss gradually and purposefully allowing one or two gentle noises of pleasure to escape from his throat to see how she would react. She seemed to want more when he made some form of noise, the movements of her tongue on his becoming harsher, more demanding. And he was more than happy to give her what she wanted. She would be giving him what he wanted after all, so why not balance out this little give and take a little.

He chuckled lightly as he broke away from her, deciding that there would be more time for that later.

"My dear, we have all night long... why rush things?"

She blushed again and she felt his hands snake around her, pulling her closer into his embrace. His arm around her abdomen and his hands resting only on her hips. Which showed a damn sight more respect than any of the boys of her age at her school would show her. But then again, Aizen was older, more mature. She didn't have to worry about him being crude of touching her anywhere she didn't want to or didn't like. So it wasn't difficult to see how one could fall hard and fast for him. He sensed her panic and brushed some of her wet hair from her shoulder and smiled again, holding her to face him as he moved her to sit so that she was almost sitting on him, the water still covering her modesty.

He wasn't going to rush this. He was going to take hit sweet time. He had all the time he needed.

"Surely we can talk for a bit first?"

"Umm, yes. What do you want to talk about Aizen-sama?"

"Oh please, '-sama' sounds so formal. Just 'Aizen' will do."

She laughed nervously, the familiarity he was implying by asking her to just use his name without anything else added was a little new to her. And given her feelings towards him, it did feel a little awkward.

"Oh okay... er, Aizen." she said, trying to smile and at least fake a little confidence so as to not seem rude. But he caught on to it.

"Hmm, no that bothers you doesn't it. You can just call me whatever you like." he responded, seemingly unphased by the situation.

"So tell me, how are you finding it here? I am thinking of letting you have roam of Las Noches whenever you so desire."

"Oh, but this place is so confusing! Aren't you worried that I might get lost? With my bad sense of direction and all."

"Hmm yes I do see that, it can be quite confusing at times, especially when the walls change, but if you did get lost somehow then you would just have to call to me with your reitsu."

"Yes! That could work." she squeaked excitedly. Really, she had been confined to her room ever since she had arrived here, so getting the chance to stretch her legs and get a change of scenery would be good for her. It sounded like a good idea to her anyway, so she was going along with it.

"Because it can be a little boring here can't it? Not that we'll be bored for long." he growled provocatively, giving her a kiss on the neck, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and her body shudder.

"No... I suppose not." she smiled, the water warming her through to the bones as she sank back into him. Leaning against his well muscled chest as he held her, the tension slowly starting to melt away.

"Hm, you seem tense." he muttered, slowly bringing his hands up to rest on her shoulders as his fingertips stared to massage her shoulder muscles, working in gentle circles to relieve the stress there.

"Is this good?"

She gasped. He was giving her a massage? Now this she thought to be unexpected. Previously she had envisioned Ichigo to be the one massaging her, but the pleasure she felt from this man far surpassed her expectations. But she had told herself that she wouldn't think about Ichigo any more, she had let go of him. So she told herself that she would focus on where she was now. As Aizen worked, all of the tensions and stress were very quickly disappearing, for it had been so long since she was completely at ease with both him and herself. And the fact that Orihime absolutely loved massages probably added to the joy she was currently feeling.

"Ahh yes, I love massages!"

"Then you are in luck, for I have had a _lot_ of practice."

She sighed deeply, leaning back even more on him so that she would have nearly slipped under the water if he hadn't been there to catch her.

"Careful, I can't have you drowning on me now." he laughed, not having it in him to be angry with her. Only to have her initiate their next kiss, which did shock him a bit. But it was also good. And even if he did blush, thankfully she didn't notice it.

He smiled again, underneath the water his hands sneaking up her body and onto one of her breasts, gently squeezing enough to make her moan but not enough for it to be painful. He smirked at her openly embarrassed yet pleasured reaction as he started to gently knead her, quietly listening to her gasps, not waiting to plunge his tongue into her mouth again to initiate another kiss. Taking great pleasure in getting her body hot and ready for him as he continued to toy with her, one hand playing with her breasts and the other hand holding her on the small of her back. Her hands quietly finding their way from his neck onto his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, smirking again as he broke away prematurely. On purpose just so that he could savour her flustered and sensual expression momentarily before he spoke, hearing her swallow quietly in response as he growled lustfully into her ear.

"Mmm, shall we continue this in the bedroom?"


	33. Point of no return

**Chapter 32: Point of no return**

A soft gasp somehow managed to find its way from her throat. Slipping out quietly and disturbing the silence of the room. But she knew this was coming. It had been made more than obvious to her. From the beginning she knew that this would happen. Her mind was wild, almost in a state of panic, yet her body was responding to his desires, and to her own buried desires as well. Her body growing hotter with each of his touches, as his fingertips graced her delicate skin with their presence. Making her shudder and jump, and strangely want his touches, his body. Each passion filled kiss intensifying as he carried her over to the bed, the both of them still dripping wet. Orihime with her legs wrapped around his waist as he held her naked body to him, pressing her bare breasts against his well muscled chest, as his hands roamed her back while supporting her. Her hands locked together with her arms around his neck to hold her body up as their tongues wrestled wildly, her tongue playing the submissive role perfectly. For she was his doll, his queen. She was his to use as he wanted, and use her he shall. Because she was more than willing to let him.

With the water still quietly dripping its way down both of their bodies, Aizen padded his bare feet across the room, giving her lips another gentle kiss as he laid her on the bed, watching her heavy breathing with a smirk as he too crawled onto the bed and leaned over her, running his fingers through her hair, which along with his, had remained dry, because neither one of them had fully submerged into the water when they had bathed. He watched with a silent enjoyment as her cheeks grew red and her face blushed innocently, just like he'd pictured she would. Prompting his body to give a barely noticeable shiver of excitement as she looked up at him, and his penis hardened, then became erect.

A soft and teasing moan came from her as his hands wandered over her body. Moving from her stomach to her abdomen and waist, moving in circles like they did when he was massaging her, sensually working her over as she lay there under him, with her body splayed out in such a womanly way, looking so demure and innocent. Every pore of her seeming to ooze femininity and desire. Desire for him, and only him. That was what he liked to see. That was what he wanted, her demurity. He lusted after her, just as much as she wanted to make love with him. Which was what he could read of her expression anyway as his hands subtly roamed onto her breasts, causing another breathless yet pleasured noise to escape her.

"Ahhh~ Aizen-sama!"

She gasped again, closing her eyes and allowing herself to be lost in him, in what he was doing to her. In his touches, in his teases. Feeling the gentle kneading motions of his palms on her breasts, gently squeezing in just the right way. The conclusion that she drew was that he had been with and pleased many women before her, so it was only natural that he knew all of the sensitive areas on a woman's body.

"Yes? What is it?"

"Ugh..."

She was lost for words. It was unbelievable what he was doing to her, what he was making her feel. So much desire, so much pleasure, so much need. It was the need to love. It was the need to be one with him. She had not felt this before, not with anybody. Because Aizen was lavishing so much attention and affection on her. Because this wasn't just sex, they were going to make love. He was going to make love to her.

She let out another long moan as he moved downwards, gently sucking on her nipple. Very gently so to avoid causing pain and hurting her fragile little body. His chest and arms still wet and slippery as his body brushed against hers, with the water still dripping from them both. His bedroom eyes taking her flushed face in hungrily, hearing her gasps and moans. Feeling the shudder under him as she closed her eyes momentarily. Half opening them again just as he broke away, once more gracing her lips with his for yet another soft kiss. Looking at her with his feral and wild eyes and his wicked grin.

"Mmmm, Orihime-chan..."

He had positioned himself into position over her, parting her legs slowly. Still looking down at her, not once looking away from her eyes. Her body allowing him to move her without any resistance, only the occasional excited shudder if his fingertips found a particularly sensitive area. Particularly on the inside of her thighs as he guided her legs around his hips, lowering them to rest around him as he squared his hips over her. Pressing the tip of his now leaking erection to her entrance, looking once more into her eyes for assurance that she was ready to do this. His hand finding hers and squeezing it, finding hers squeezing back in response.

"Are you ready?"

His voice was serious, and it made her heart pound. It made the adrenaline surge through her system, and her body yearn and tense, but she knew that she had to relax. He waited for her tension to subside and then slid into her, forcing a scream of intense pleasure to pass her lips, with him waiting there, keeping still so she could catch her breath. Her voice still calling out his name as she panted, half moaning with the sensations of him inside her. Her quiet cries turning into softer whimpers as his lips cut her off, his tongue suppressing most of her cries and replacing them with moans as she hoped that he would be gentle when he took her. He broke their kiss away again and he looked into her eyes, at her beautiful face.

And she was beautiful. He thought her to be absolutely exquisite. Lying there, his to do with as he pleased. Beautifully submissive. Just like all of his partners. Because he liked them submissive. He liked to use them, he liked to exert his sexual dominance over them. Because there was nothing inside _him_ that was submissive. There was just no reason for Aizen to be submissive, and so he was not not built to be. Just as she was not built to be dominant. It was not in her nature. She needed someone to follow and obey, he needed someone to guide and nurture. It was like they were made to be together in this way, as a man and a woman. As mates. As equals. As polar opposites. Because each fascinated the other. She fascinated him, just as he was intrigued about her.

He took a deep breath and then pushed into her further, drawing out another pleasured moan. Thrusting into her as she gasped and moaned with his movements. Good, she was sensitive to him. He started off slowly, building up the rhythm gently so to avoid hurting her too much. His thrusts getting rougher and rougher as he pounded into her, with her hips rolling with his, her face reddening even more as she turned her head to the side to avoid his direct gaze, moaning and writhing underneath him. God, this felt amazing. It was like no pain in the world existed, only pleasure. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. Everything he was doing to her, everything he was making her feel, all that emotion and all of the nervousness he had made her feel before, seemed to just vanish from her mind. It was like it was worth it. No, it _was_ it was worth it to go through all of that just to feel this. To feel this much passion, to have her body thrown into ecstasy.

"Ah! Aizen-samaaa!"

He breathed heavily, the water dripping from him mingling with sweat and heat, along with her own burning body as he slowly reached his climax, now quite breathless. A scream forcing its way out from her throat as he came, emptying out his seed into her, panting heavily as he looked at her once more, gently removing himself from her body. Laying down beside her as his fingertips quietly lifted her chin up and tilt her head up to look at him. Still shivering in the wake of her orgasm as she tried to regain her breath. Her small body trembling as he took her into his arms to rest her head on his chest.

"Haah, I... I think I love you Aizen-sama..."

He just smiled at her, stroking her hair softly and giving a gentle kiss to her forehead, noting the little blush that still lingered on her cheeks. Brushing the hair gently away from her eyes.

"I know, now let us get some rest. I am sure you must be tired."

She smiled to herself, wondering how on earth she ended up like this, but really just grateful that she was with Aizen right now.

"Yeah... I am kinda tired..."

"I think that yawn agrees." he responded jokingly, lifting up the bedsheets so that they could both crawl into bed and make themselves comfortable. Orihime thinking to herself that even how after having sex that sharp wit of his never failed him as she drifted off to sleep in the arms of Aizen Sousuke.


	34. You are no virgin

**Chapter 33: You are no virgin**

The night came, and the night eventually passed. The sun flicked through the windows as it usually did and threw itself into the bedroom of the lord of Las Noches. Blinding the younger of its two occupants who was sleeping peacefully in the arms of her new lover, stirring her from her restful slumber. She groaned softly as the sunlight hit her eyes, not yet fully aware of where she was right now, hearing a gentle male voice calling out to her.

"Good morning."

Her eyelids fluttered open, and sense returned to her body, her fingertips brushing against bare skin that was warm to the touch. Her gaze lingered on a man's well muscled chest before slowly drawing upwards to his face. His face seemed to wear the most natural expression, and his brown eyes were still quite heavily lidded, like he had just woken up also. His smile was a lazy one, and his hair sat

on his head in such a mussed up manner giving him a real bed head appearance.

In summary, attractive. Even after sex Sousuke Aizen was definitely attractive.

"You're finally awake. I was wondering when you would be joining me today."

He smiled at her gently as she lay in his arms. Her brain was undoubtedly trying to demist the fog that had settled in her brain judging from her expression. It really was quite adorable, or at least, he thought so.

"_poor thing, she doesn't even know where she is yet. She isn't properly awake..."_

He let his fingertips find her soft cheek, taking in her innocent face and sleep filled eyes. She did look quite pretty, like one of those porcelain dolls. So adaptable to him. She was his to use as he wished and his to manipulate. Well, 'manipulate' was such a strong word, but he couldn't think of a better one. He looked deeply into her eyes as she rather clumsily awoke from her slumber. He took in her quivering lips and her half awake eyes as he watched her remember him.

"Ugh... Aizen-sama?"

He laughed softly, his smile widening half through the exhaustion of his body. His hand on her face quietly slipping down onto her neck as he guided his lips onto hers, his tongue begging entrance into her mouth through her parted lips, which she gave to him. Shyly of course. Letting his tongue wrestle with hers, while giving a soft moan just before he broke away. Leaving him to smirk to himself.

"How are you?"

"Oh, umm. I'm alright, thankyou..."

He chuckled to himself again,

"You are my lover now... there is no need for such formality."

That word still seemed foreign to her. Lover. Such a strange concept. But it was true, she was Aizen-sama's lover now. They did have sex after all. The memories of their nights activities coming back to her.

His body on her... his hands... the pleasure that coursed its way through her. Everything came back to her.

"Lo- lover..."

"Indeed." he said, Orihime kneeling up on the bed as he quietly got up and started to dress himself. With her watching him, waiting for him to carry on his sentence.

"Strange though, I thought you would be in tact when I took you."

"In tact?"

"Yes. Pure, untainted. But it seems I was wrong."

His words were not harsh, or at all reprimanding towards her. He merely spoke with the same tone as he had to her earlier. His tone was a calm one, although this didn't really help her nervousness building up again for thinking she was in trouble with him, or that he was angry with her. She half expected him to start screaming and calling her a slut. Maybe even throwing things just for good measure. Do anything apart from be calm about it.

He turned his head towards her as he spoke, his voice only betraying a slight hint at displeasure.

"I'm sorry honey but, I've had virgins before. And you... are _no_ virgin. You didn't seem as innocent. And when you didn't bleed out my suspicions were confirmed."

He stopped mid sentence again, registering the horrified look on her face before he continued.

"But do not worry, you are not in trouble."

He took a few steps towards her as she sat covering herself with the bedsheets, planting yet another gentle kiss on her lips.

"I will return to you later after I attend to some business. Please make yourself comfortable darling."

And with that, he took his leave, softly closing the door behind him as he exited the bedroom. Striding off down the hallway, not so much as making a single sound apart from his footsteps that echoed into the white silence that was Las Noches. He walked quickly and quietly, finding himself alone in the meeting room soon enough.

He was sitting in his chair, idly playing with one of the pens he had produced. Playing with it in between his fingertips. Doing so for a good long time before finally snapping and throwing it against the wall.

"Fuck it!"

His breathing grew harsher, and more shallow. And with each breath he took it became more difficult to breathe, causing a slight panic to settle into him. For he knew that if he got angry he would lose it again.

"_No. I can't get angry. I can't get angry."_

His guard was its lowest when he was angry, and that voice inside his head was getting stronger again. Getting louder.

"_Kill him. Kill him! You know what he did! He's wrecked your plans!"_

The voice in his head was getting louder again. He clutched his head with both hands, willing the hollow inside him to silence. Willing the bastard to be quiet.

"_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" _

But that part of him wasn't going to be subdued easily. It was going to scream and scream until it got its way. And Aizen was losing the fight against it, losing the fight for control over it.

"No... not Ulquiorra... not again."

He steadied himself, slightly rocking backwards and forwards as he leaned forward in his chair, trying to breathe without fainting. When it woke up inside him he always felt faint and dizzy before the transition between himself and his other half; his inner hollow.

"No..." he muttered under his breath, "no, no, no, no, no..."

He felt dizzy, nausea came, and he didn't know how much longer he would last without either collapsing onto the floor or vomiting. Or both. No, this couldn't be happening. He and Gin had worked so hard to make him go away, but now he was back again. Only because Aizen couldn't control his temper now over this.

He waited until the sickness subsided, leaning backwards and taking deep breaths. His head pounding with a throbbing headache as his body calmed itself down. And he waited there. He waited there until he calmed himself down so that when he opened his eyes again... he was ready to confront this new problem.


	35. Thou shalt not sin

**Chapter 34: Thou shalt not sin**

Aizen took a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling shakily. Closing his eyes tightly and leaning his head back against the chair. Trying to breathe through the constrictions in his chest. Listening only to the sound of his heart beating loudly in his chest, thinking it to be hitting his ribs with such force that it might break free of his body. His entire body shook; every muscle in his being shivered and trembled of its own accord. His hands grew colder, and his body temperature dropped slightly. Beads of sweat dripped slowly down his forehead and down the rest of his body as he tried to push past the sickness that had overcome him, and tried to calm himself down to get rid of his anger. Rage only fuelled the beast within him, and he could not afford to have it take over him again now. Not when the damage it could cause was so great. And it could wreck everything he had worked so hard to build.

But it was understandable why he was angry. To love someone and want to make them happy, and then to pursue an ideal to create that happiness for them, only to have that plan torn apart by the stupid mistake of another, of someone you trusted... of course it causes anger. Of course it causes rage and the feeling of betrayal. Of course it causes the mind to jump to irrational conclusions, for that is what a paranoid mind does. That is what _his_ paranoid mind does. It jumps to conclusions, it assumes the worst.

He had wanted her to be pure and untouched for precisely this reason. He wanted to be the first one to take her because not being her first produced the likelihood that the child she bore would definitely be his. That was why he had her thoroughly examined medically when she first arrived here to ensure that fact. He knew that he would grow jealous and this jealousy would turn into anger that would weaken his defence against this other part of him, his inner hollow. And he couldn't show any anger towards her, or else it might drive her away from him. But if she bore a child that wasn't his, it would destroy Gin, and Aizen would be made a liar. He knew that Gin was a forgiving person, but he doubted that he could forgive him for a lie that big. It just wouldn't happen. After all, Gin wanted Aizen's biological child more than anything. And to be denied the child of his lover would just destroy him internally. It would break him, and Aizen couldn't have that. He loved Gin far too much to ever let that happen.

He took another deep breath, trying to stop his hands trembling of their own accord. He hated this part, the bit where the nausea came over him. Along with the dizziness. He kept his eyes tightly closed as he swallowed once more. Trying to breathe, trying to calm his body and let the nausea pass over him. Panting heavily to try and get air into his lungs. Not hearing the sounds of footsteps coming towards him. The footsteps of Gin.

"Aizen?"

Aizen still didn't open his eyes, but he knew it was Gin from the familiar spiritual pressure filling the room.

"Gin..." Aizen panted, still trying to push past the sickness that had overcome him. And Gin didn't hesitate in running over to his side, now sick himself with worry and fear. His pale hands clutching onto his arms, his cold hands finding his.

"Oh my god! Aizen! Aizen-san are you okay? Talk to me!"

Aizen's breath was shaking terribly, and Gin knew what was happening to him; he had witnessed it before, and found the results of it to be rather unpleasant for all involved. His other personality was taking over again. And Aizen was trying to fight it.

"Talk to me..."

"Get me Ulquiorra..." Aizen growled quietly, still trying to stabilise himself through his current haze.

"Aizen?"

"Just... get me Ulquiorra." he snarled, not really having much control any more. Because once the personality shift started that was it, there was no stopping it. Gin knew that more than anyone, so he decided not to argue, standing up and bowing his head respectfully as he turned to leave, only able to comply with him. Knowing full well what the consequences of not doing so were.

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

And with that, he left to go and find Ulquiorra. It wouldn't take him very long to find him, but he still walked slowly. Because he really didn't want things to become violent again. He didn't really know Ulquiorra that well, but still Gin wasn't one for violence, even if he didn't know the espada personally.

He followed the traces of his reitsu until he found him. He was in his room, sorting out his things when Gin knocked on the door and opened it, looking quite unsettled as he stood in the doorway.

"Ichimaru-sama, what are you doing here? Do you need something?"

Gin tried to smile, but due to his current fearful state he probably failed miserably. The lack of his usual accent also not going unnoticed by Ulquiorra. Which unsettled him somewhat, because Gin rarely ever spoke to him without his usual tone and sarcasm.

"Ichimaru-sama, is something wrong?"

"Aizen-sama wants to see you."

"When?"

"Now."

"Very well then, I will leave immediately."

Ulquiorra walked rather quickly down the corridors to see his master. Wondering the exact reason as to why he was being summoned like this on such short notice. But then again, he was always summoned on such short notice. And today was no different. But even Gin was unnerved, so could he be in trouble? Could Aizen have found out about the situation with the girl? No, he couldn't have, could he? Either way, he would just have to wait and find out.

He always got nervous whenever he approached Aizen. Which given his previous experiences, was quite a natural reaction for him. He didn't really know what kind of mood he would be in, so he did not know how to act when in Aizen's presence. He swallowed hard as he walked into the room, his eyes darting around the room subconsciously as he walked in rather sheepishly.

"You wanted to see me, Aizen-sama."

Aizen was sitting casually in his chair, propping his chin up with his right hand as he sat there, in quite a calm manner.

"Yes Ulquiorra, do come in."

Aizen watched as his creation stepped into the room before getting up from his seat and walking quietly over towards him, his footsteps being the only sound in the silence.

"You do know why I've called you here, don't you?" he asked, nothing betraying in his voice. No emotion, no feeling, nothing. His tone was merely cold and factual.

"No, Aizen-sama. I do not."

"Really?" Aizen asked, raising one of his eyebrows, getting quite close to Ulquiorra now. Still not revealing his intentions, or his eyes by not looking directly at him.

"I would have thought that you would know, seeing as you are not one for breaking the rules."

"Rules, Aizen-sama?"

"Yes, you know, rules. I do not have many rules Ulquiorra, but I do expect you all to follow them."

The espada just stared at him blankly, not moving a muscle as Aizen stepped yet closer to him.

"Have you ever heard of the ten commandments, Ulquiorra? You shall have no other god before me... you shall not worship engraved images..."

He continued on, Ulquiorra only able to look at him as he spoke. Regarding his master with a quiet awe, and fear.

"Honour your father and mother... keep the Sabbath day holy..."

Ulquiorra stood there listening to him, not quite sure how what he was saying had any relevance to why he was called here.

"You shall not take the name of your god in vain..."

Ah, so, this was his point. Now Ulquiorra could see where this was going. Well, even if he couldn't he could tell this wouldn't end well. But he was rooted to the spot by fear. Only able to listen as Aizen continued. Not even able to run.

"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour... you shall not covet your neighbour's belongings or possessions... you shall not commit murder..."

Aizen was standing right in front of Ulquiorra now, the espada just listening and waiting as Aizen calmly continued his little explanation on what the ten commandments were to the young Ulquiorra.

"You shall not commit _adultery..."_

He spat out the last word, making it quite painfully obvious what he was angry about. Even though it was technically Orihime that had committed adultery, but that was besides the point here. He was angry at Ulquiorra for taking advantage of her. He knew it was Ulquiorra, for his reitsu was all over her, he could sense him. Tainting his woman, _his _woman. And for that, there could be no forgiveness.

"And the tenth and final commandment," Aizen stated, finally reaching the pinacle of his little talk, his eyes fully blackening as he stared directly into the eyes of his espada, inspiring fear and watching with much pleasure as Ulquiorra's eyes widened considerably. Gasping quietly as Aizen's blade passed through his stomach, causing blood and pain to trickle down him.

"Thou shalt not steal."


	36. Please forgive my sins

**Chapter 35: Please forgive my sins**

Ulquiorra choked as the blade passed to him, pain tearing through his gut as the blood trickled from the wound in his body, his expression showing nothing but horror for the man in front of him, who was staring at him with cold dead eyes.

"Ah, Aizen... sama. I..." he choked again, coughing and spluttering on his own blood as it trickled down his body and the drops splattered on his face started to cascade down his cheeks and down his neck. All the while the pain tearing its way through his stomach as Aizen shoved the blade further into him, making him whimper in pain, as he had always done in his previous experiences with this man. This man is now causing even more pain than before, now threatening to end his life for something that was apparently wrong, something that _was_ wrong. Something that was evil, and something so beautiful that it should not have been done, because it was Aizen' s woman. Because it was stealing, because it was theft.

And Aizen did not like the theft.

"So, you dared to defy me? You dared to take what is not yours?"

"I ... I'm sorry Aizen-sama, I did not know."

"You know I don't like people touching my things, Ulquiorra. I thought you knew that. I guess I will have to be teaching you again."

He pushed the blade further into his body, enjoying the little squirms the pain and torture, and misery of his own creation, playing God as it were. Doing as he wanted. Doing anything he wanted. Doing anything he could, because he had the power to.

The blood continued to trickle down Ulquiorra, staining his white clothes, staining his pale skin, dying every part of him in crimson red colouring until the life began to drain out of him and onto the immaculate white floors of the building that had once been untouched by the dark red colour of blood by its inhabitants.

Aizen let him hang in there there for a moment, staring directly into his eyes, as the espada tried to breathe oxygen into his lungs, trying to stay alive even though it was futile and pointless. He coughed and spluttered on the blood in his mouth, unable to breathe. His life fading away in front of him, as he looked into the eyes of his master, his father, his creator, the one now looking at him with pure contempt and disgust.

"You, Ulquiorra," Aizen spat, "Are nothing but an dirty, rotten thief."

He listened to Ulquiorra gasp and choke again, before quickly withdrawing the blade, allowing the blood to spray all over him and the floor, dying everything in red.

Ulquiorra looked up at his master, feeling all of the energy drain from him as he looked up at Aizen with heavily lidded eyes, unable to even stay awake for much longer, for he was losing so much blood already. So much so that it was pooling underneath him, but Aizen just looked at him, uncaring. For Ulquiorra had disobeyed him and for that he would have to pay, that was all there is to it. Because of that there was a chance that his carefully laid out plan would fail. There was a chance that the child Orihime would bear him would not be his.

"You had better pray that the child she gives birth to is my own, Ulquiorra." he said, stepping over the bleeding body of Ulquiorra before storming off outside still clutching his sword. He did not notice however as he walked down the hall that a pair of eyes were watching him, and following him down the hallway from the shadows. The eyes that were watching his every move only just then noticing the large amount of blood slowly pooling out from under the door. The figure that the eyes belonged to holding its hand over the mouth of another to maintain silence, and to avoid getting caught.

...

Ulquiorra felt his body get weaker and weaker, unable to even move his limbs or even twitch his fingers. He knew that he was dying, he knew that he probably deserved it too. After all he had sinned against the master, and that, to Ulquiorra is the greatest sin of all. To him, it was to betray his God. It was to go against everything he ever knew. Even after all the pain and abuse, Aizen was still like a father to him. And he remembered how he had wanted nothing else than to serve him.

"Pl- please forgive me..."

He did not know how he had strayed so far away, or what had happened to make him so attached to Orihime in the first place, but he did know, now, that it was a sin against his master. Even though he had only wanted to protect her from him, and to stop him abusing her in the same way as he had been abused himself.

"It's all my fault. I... Have disobeyed you, master. Ah, Aizen-sama..."

Ulquiorra then thought that how everything he has ever done in his life had been a sin, and how he had always lived in hiding those things. All of those things that he had suffered, and all of the pain he had received as the remainder of his life emptied from him, and he could no longer keep his eyes open.

"I'm sorry..."

His body went cold, and he could no longer feel anything. The steadily decreasing beating of his heart slowing down more and more blood left his body and his veins. He clenched his teeth as more pain shot through him making him wince in pain before he relaxed completely, letting the darkness claim him as he closed his eyes for one last time, hearing what he thought were voices in his last moments.

...

Footsteps were all that he could hear now as he drifted away into sleep. footsteps and voices. two people had just come into the room they were talking but he could not hear what they were saying.

"my God... is that Ulquiorra? Oh my goodness what happened here? Who could have done this?"

This voice... this voice seemed very distressed. It was a soft voice, a quiet voice. It was a voice that he was familiar with, not unlike the other voice in the room.

"Just heal him okay. Just fix him up and you can worry about who did this to him later."

"Yes, okay."

The owner of the first voice got to work quickly, the one whom the voice belonged to do whatever was necessary to fix this current problem. And after a short time Ulquiorra could feel his arms and legs again. His body was starting to warm, and energy was returned to him through some other force beyond his control and comprehension in his current state. And before long, the espada was able to feel even the very tips of his fingers and could move them again, even though he had no recollection of where he was or what had just happened to him. He opened his eyes slowly, his head still pounding away with a terrible headache as he tried to drag his heavy body up again, still in pain.

"Ugh, where am I?"

"That's good, you're awake!"

This voice ... this voice was familiar to him, he had heard it before many times.

"Ugh... woman?"

Orihime smiled as he opened his eyes to look at her, his vision slowly returned to him and the blurred shapes in front of him began to materialise. Yes, it was Orihime. It was heard that rescued him from the clutches of death, even though she did not have to.

"I'm glad you're alright."

She continued to smile down at him warmly, as the second voice sounded itself again in reliefyou are reading this book.

"Oh, thank God!"

The second shape started to appear in the background, and from what Ulquiorra could gather it was a male, with a very distinguishable voice.

"Ichimaru-sama?"

Gin leaned backwards against the wall and sighed deeply. Good, he was alive. This meant that no innocent blood would be spilt tonight, and everything would play out in a way that it was intended to be. He took the breath and rested his head against the wall covering His eyes with his hand for a moment before he spoke again.

"I have to go."

They watched him as he left the room, not even trying to step over the pool of blood on the floor, so that when he walked away he left bloody footprints all over the white floor. He walked quickly, his heart resounding in his chest in worry, fear. In everything else he felt right now. It was quiet, too quiet. Far too quiet for things to be well. Because when things were quiet, they were bad. And he knew that something was definitely wrong. Aizen would never recklessly murder his own followers. Punish yes, but never kill. And now Gin had to find him before Aizen did anything stupid, which he was prone to doing in his current state. It did not take long to find him, his spiritual pressure was leaking out everywhere, so it was relatively easy to find him. He was in the kitchen, rifling through the drawers of cutlery, and looking for a knife.

Gin watched him pull out a relatively small butcher knife and position it above his exposed wrist. His heart lurching.

"no," Gin gasped, then started to scream as he flash stepped over to Aizen's side.

"Don't you dare!" he yelled, grabbing Aizen by the wrists and shoving him up against the wall.

"don't you dare do that to me again!"

Gin was panting heavily tightly gripping onto his wrists and looking into others confused face, keeping him pinned up against the wall, not wanting him to let him hurt himself with him to keep him from plunging the blade into his veins.

"Drop it." he ordered, not once looking away from Aizen's chocolate coloured eyes as the metal clattered onto the floor. His hands were shaking as he held him, at the thought of what he could do to himself. And the thought of him self harming was more than he could stand, and it and he did not want it to happen again. Not him, not Aizen. Not the man he loved.

Gin swallowed. "I... I love you, can't you see? And I can't watch you do that to yourself, this is just too much for me to..."

Tears were starting to well up in Gin's eyes now, and his lips were quivering. He was almost at breaking point now, but then again it does hurt you inside when someone you love threatens to hurt themselves. It tears you apart.

"Pl- please don't..." Gin sobbed, unable to physically control his own floodgates any more, or his body.

"Pl- please... please..." he begged, silencing any and all forms of protest from his lover by smothering his tongue with his own. Pleading between kisses as he fell into a rather awkward embrace with Aizen against the wall, resting his arms around his neck and leaning against him, not at all willing to leave him on his own again, or even out of his sight. Nor even out of his arms.

"Please don't..."

Aizen let his hands wander onto his lover's waist and took him into his arms, looking into his tear stained face before he returned his kiss. Overcome with the numbness from before from the personality shift.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered,hardly able to stand up any more as he stumbled forward into Gin, who was trying to hold him up as he collapsed into him, with Gin guiding him onto the floor as he passed out.

"It's okay." Gin soothed quietly, stroking his hair as he sat with Aizen who was lying on the floor, with his head comfortably on Gin's lap as he sat there cross legged with an unconscious Aizen lying next to him, with Gin quietly talking to him and waiting for him to regain consciousness again.

"Everythin's gonna be okay."


	37. This, our solemn hour & The king and I

this is a two chapter mash up. 'This, our solemn hour' is the chapter in normal text and 'The king and I' is the chapter in italics. Believe me, it worked better without them broken up into two chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 36: This, our solemn hour and The king and I **

Gin sat there, with Aizen lying limp there in his arms. His fingertips lazily stroking his lover's deep brown hair, comforting him, as he sat there waiting for him to regain conciousness once more. Aizen's breathing was deep, almost calm even. His eyes were closed, and his features were relaxed, as was his whole body. It really was the calmest that Gin had ever seen him. Gin sighed, he did like to hold Aizen, but not when he was unconscious. And he knew that there was only one other force that had the power to render such a man into a state of full unconsciousness, and that was that internal bastard of his. The other half of his personality. The sadist. The manipulator. It was such a pity to think that inside of someone so calm and loving there existed such a monster. Someone so hurtful and evil in the real sense of the word. He remembered how this monster had come to be... through some stupid mistake. Some experiment gone hideously wrong. It was stupid of him, so stupid to try something like that. Stupid.

Aizen's breath shook. It always did whenever he was dragged into his internal world. Whenever the horse wanted to try yet again to overthrow the king.

"Oh god... not now..." Gin sighed, his heart giving in to its tendencies to lurch whenever Aizen was forced into this pre-emptive state of mental psychosis. It worried him. It made him both worry and fear the consequences of Aizen not being able to wake up as himself again. For both his safety and the safety of all who reside in Las Noches. Because who knew what he was capable of when the other side took over. And if that part of him had complete and indefinite control over Aizen's body, a disaster was undoubtedly inevitable to follow. Blood, death. Gin wasn't sure if he could handle that.

"Please fight it. Please... I can't lose you just yet."

Gin looked at him, his eyes gazing down longingly at the unconscious body of Aizen Sousuke. At his former captain, at his teacher, his master and his servant. The man he loved.

His everything.

His entire world contained within one other being.

"Oh god please wake up darlin'... please wake up as you."

Gin stroked his hair softly, gently brushing it from his closed eyelids, only able to watch and wait as Aizen lay there, in his arms, lifeless. His body cooling down starting from the tips of his fingers and his toes, as Aizen slowly re-entered his inner world, ready to do battle again.

...

_His eyes slowly fluttered open, and he found himself to be lying on cold concrete, quite a difference from his inner world before the change. Before The Change had happened his inner world looked much different. There were trees, scattered around a large circular lake, somewhere in a grassy alcove. The full moon illuminating the night sky littered with uncountable arrays of stars across the vast dark blue haze of sky. Flowers dotted around the landscape each of various shades of blue and purple, each bathing in the light of the ominous moon, with the reflection of the entire scene visible on the vast glassy lake. But now... now there was just concrete. And his world was empty and barren. A desolate plain, not even worthy of being called an internal world. It was cold, chilling even. _

_Aizen always could feel the cold easily. Ever since the incident; when that stupid experiment of his had gone wrong,he had grown sensitive to temperature changes. Even internal ones. His back ached, as it always did when he grew cold. His world was empty and cold, barren. So different from before. He could feel the natural chill more deeply than before, right through to his very bones. He shivered. The cool wind passing through him. He hated this world. He hated this world and everything in it. The cold, _the whiteness. _The fact that it was empty and so very very bright. _

_He even hated the irony that something so dark could reside in such a bright place. Typical. He used to love the use of irony on books, in poetry. Now he just hated it. He despised it. _

_Concrete, plain white buildings ascending both vertically and horizontally, criss crossing in squared patterns for when seemed like an age, getting smaller and smaller as they faded off into the distance. Aizen lying somewhere in the middle of this godforsaken world. If it could be called a world, that is. _

_He covered his eyes to avoid the light, groaning harshly as he regained his senses one by one. His back stiffening from being laid out on such a hard and cold surface. He wanted to just wake up now, wishing that this was all just a dream and he was not really here. But a eerie voice told him otherwise; that this was reality. And that he had to wake up and face the music. With or without his morning coffee, or... tea._

"Well well well... long time no see, King."

_Aizen dragged himself to his feet, his body growing heavy as he lifted himself up onto his feet, grimacing because his body and all of his joints were stiff and creaking. As they always were whenever he entered this world. Correction, his own world. _

_"Oh _please_... give it a rest. We all know the King and Horse metaphor is getting old."_

_His breaths were ragged and harsh, but he still managed to retort to that comment. Glaring up at the one who had made it. Glaring at another, darker, more twisted version of himself. Pale skin, ash black eyes... a complete and total opposite of him. Staring him in the face. Standing right in front of him only a few feet away._

"I told you I would be waiting. Waiting for you to slip up and drop your guard. You won't get away this time Sousuke, I'll make sure of it."

_He licked his lips as he said it. Even his words had a natural chill to them. Only it wasn't _natural. _It was more _bonechilling _than anything else. Not like any other voice he had heard before, but harsh and wired. Laced with pure hatred and anger and such fury. Disdain for him, disdain for the world, and for anything and everything in it. _

"_Well, you got what you wanted. We're both here now aren't we?"_

_He grinned lazily when he saw a look of displeasure pass across the hollow's face. His own face. As usual as this experience was to Sousuke, he had to admit that it was a very surreal experience. _

"That is true."

_They were interrupted by the quiet padding of footsteps. Paws on concrete. Their owner being one chocolate timber coloured wolf. Her eyes of which were a deep yellow, accompanied by black pupils. Her fur many shades of brown with hints of black, elegantly flowing down to the very tip of her tail, her fur longer than that of the usual grey wolf. She walked slowly, her head held high as she swished her tail slowly, walking with presence. Indeed, she was an alpha wolf, dominant and proud. And she demanded both acknowledgement and respect from those around her. Even her master had to show her respect._

"Kyouga?"

_The she wolf snorted at the other half, the hollow. Clearly she did not like him, but indeed, she did have to tolerate him. Even if she despised sharing her world, _her world, _with the likes of this bastard. This scum. This was her world and she ruled all within it. She did not like to share. _

_She strode gracefully to stand beside her master, her true master, and looked up at him, acknowledging his presence, as he acknowledged hers. Nodding her head as a sign of respect. As he nodded his in return._

"_Aizen-sama."_

"_Kyouga Suigetsu." he responded, using the full name of the spirit of his zanpaktou, the way she liked to be addressed, before he said anything else._

"_In your wolf form again I see?"_

_She tilted her head slightly, flattening her ears against the sides of her head, quite bemused at this little comment from her master. _

"_Does this form not please you my lord?"_

"_I thought I told you that I did not like wolves."_

"_Oh." she said, lifting one of her front paws up off the concrete, her ears perking themselves upright again. _

"_Then perhaps I can transform into something a little more pleasing to your eyes." _

_A swish of her tail was all it took for her abilities as an illusionist to come into play. Starting at her feet she began to effortlessly morph into human shape. Her paws painlessly becoming a set of sandalled feet and pale hands. And before Aizen knew it he was looking at the form of Ichmaru Gin, clothed in a rather elegant white kimono, which was patterned with light pink sakura petals, with the sleeves of the kimono trailing far past his hands, just to his fingertips. This form of Kyouga Suigetsu's choosing being something that he found to be incredibly sexy in and of itself. _

"_Nya~ then what 'bout this form? Surely ya gotta like this?" _

_The 'Gin' giggled, his usual smile coming across as he laughed and flirtatiously produced a fan from his kimono sleeve, opened it and covered his face, hiding his smile. Aizen, for one, was not amused. _

"_No, the wolf form is fine." _

"_N'aww fine!" She pouted, making sure to put on the famous Ichimaru Gin accent before reverting back into her wolf form before she spoke out again, wagging her tail slowly from side to side, with her soft and gentle voice echoing into the air around him. She was calm, but when compared to just a few moments ago, she was very deathly serious._

"_He is challenging you, over who is worthy to wield me. Over who has control of this world."_

"_I see. Then, are you going to grant me your assistance?"_

_The she wolf snorted quietly at him._

"_Oh no, this is your fight. I am simply here to watch. Because for now, I can call neither one of you my master."_

"_Very well." Sousuke said, calmly and collectedly withdrawing his blade from its sheathe. _

"_We will just have to settle this ourselves."_

...

Gin cradled his lover's body, pulling Aizen closer into him. He was getting colder, Gin could feel it, his temperature was dropping. He tried to choke back another sob as he rested Aizen's head on his shoulder, his cold hands doing nothing to warm the man up. Damn his cold hands. Damn him. He couldn't even do anything for him, nothing to help him. He could only sit and watch him, lying there. Quietly breathing. Wondering whether or not he was going to wake up as the man he knew again.

"Oh please wake up, please..."

He needed to get him warm again, but as he was now he couldn't physically carry Aizen because he was just to heavy for him. Normally Aizen was the one that did all of the carrying. Namely carrying Gin into the bedroom, because Gin's body was so light, and therefore could be carried easily.

As he sat there he could feel his heart beating. Thumping away at the inside of his ribs.

"I want you to wake up." he whispered, being quiet only because his voice was going. It was like there was a frog caught in his throat somewhere, that he couldn't get out. He wrapped his arms around Aizen's chest and shoulders, trying to use his body heat in order to get his lover warmed up again. He doubted it would work, but he had to try. He knew that being in his inner world made Aizen's body temperature drop dramatically, and homeostasis ceases to function properly. And Gin knew that when the human body's core temperature drops to below thirty three degrees Celsius, then it dies by means of heart failure. And Las Noches being naturally chilly was not helping any.

Because Aizen's temperature would quickly descend further if Gin didn't do something to get him warm again. He just held Aizen close to him, close to his heart, close to his body because that's where the warmth was. His body shivered as he held him, but it was not because of the cold.

He shivered in fear. And the floodgates were about to be broken.

"Please wake up my love... I, I need you... I... I can't live without you... please wake up, please."

...

_Aizen stood there, waiting, their battle had already begun and now he was fighting for everything. Not just the usual things like power, control, the right to wield his own sword, his life. But for everything else as well. The many pieces on his chessboard, all he had worked to build, all he had manipulated for love. _

_For Gin. _

_Sousuke knew that Gin was what his other half wanted. After all, he wanted whatever he could not have. But the hollow wanted Gin simply because to him, Gin was all the more manipulatable. Even more so that any other chess piece in this game of lies and deceit. _

_It snarled, looking at him with his yellow and black eyes as their blades crossed in complete symmetry. Truly, Aizen was fighting himself. _

"Are you actually going to fight me now?" _he growled, growing frustrated at the fact that he had not yet managed to land a single blow to the king. Aizen just smirked back in return, neither one of them taking any notice of the wolf lying down to the side of them only a few meters away, watching the entire scene play out. _

"_I was going to ask you the very same question."_

_The hollow growled again, more in annoyance than anything. This was taking too long, the body they were fighting over would die if this carried on. _

"Oh for fucks sake lets just end this, my body is dying out there."

"_Don't get too ahead of yourself now, I am not dead yet."_

...

Gin wailed quietly, not even knowing when exactly he had started crying. Burying his face into Aizen's collarbone as he he held, no, clutched onto him. Willing for him to wake up again. He was never usually under for this long, never. Something was definitely wrong. He was usually awake by now...

"_Oh god... what if..."_

He forced his eyes to open.

"_No. No, I can't think like that. He will wake up, he will wake up."_

Gin's pale fingers stroked Aizen's neck, he was still getting colder. If he didn't wake up soon then he would probably die of heart failure. Gin just whimpered, not even bothering to wipe away the tears from his eyes pouring steadily down his cheekbones.

"Please wake up Aizen-sama. Don't die..."

...

_Blades crossed again, each aiming for the kill this time. Deep in the heat of battle, with both losing some substantial amounts of blood. This was a fight to the death, though it was not clear who was going to emerge out of this fray victorious. Cuts, bruises, scars. Blood dripping mercilessly from wounds. Red everywhere, staining clothes, the white concrete, skin, hair, everything. _

"You're really fighting with everything ya got huh?"

"_That is because I have everything to lose. And of course, I do not want to lose it to the likes of you."_

_The hollow growled again, trying to get Aizen to lower his guard and failing. Oh well. He would just have to go and do this the old fashioned way; tooth and claw._

_He lunged at Aizen again and again, trying to aim for his jugular vein, and any other vital spots on his body. Only to be blocked each time he tried. _

_..._

"Please don't die... don't die."

Gin whined again, like a puppy for his fallen master. Suddenly feeling a cold nose on his neck.

It was Tsuku, who had come looking for his master also. The little fox with the black tipped ears and tail sniffed Aizen, and then curled up next to him, making sure to keep as close as possible to him, to warm him up with his white fur. Pining for his master to wake up again.

Tsuku belonged to Aizen, as Cherry belonged to Gin, and they were seemingly inseparable. Which just made Gin hurt more at the thought that Aizen would not wake up again.

"Tsuku-kun... he won't wake up." Gin said trying to choke back more sobs.

"Why won't he wake up?"

Tsuku barked. This normally woke him up. But when the little fox got no response he merely whined pitifully, resuming his position and resting his head on one of Aizen's hands.

Gin was holding onto his other hand, both to monitor his temperature and as a form of self comfort. Lightly holding Aizen's hand in both of his, bringing it up to his face and his lips, planting soft kisses on the back of Aizen's hand and fingers as he cried quietly.

"Please... please just wake up... please... wake up for me."

...

_Blades crossed, bloodstained metal against bloodstained metal. Growls and snarls coming from either side as they both fought. Aizen against his inner hollow, his inner sadist. The creature that threatened to destroy everything in his life. To murder all that is good. _

_Another snarl._

_Time was slowing down now, both of their movements slowing down, getting more and more sluggish. This had to end. This had to finish before the body died. Their world tumbling to pieces all around them only proved that. Bits of concrete flaking off and disintegrating beneath the brightly lit sun. But even that was fading out, becoming dimmer. Vanishing into nothing, into darkness. Into despair. _

_The hollow went for him again, properly, for the kill. But he waited. _

_He waited, and waited, until just the right moment to quick step to the side, behind the creature. Swinging his blade high in the air and aiming for the back of his neck. The world they were standing on crumbling away into dust before their very eyes. _

_He did not know what happened next, who hurt who, or if his enemy had turned to counteract him - all he knew was that there was blood. _

_And pain._

_And whiteness._


	38. On the knife's edge I

**Chapter 37: On the Knife's edge I **

His eyes didn't want to seem to open when he managed to regain some sort of consciousness. It was bright. Far too bright for him because it burned his eyes and his head hurt just trying to open his eyes and see the daylight once again. His breath was cold, his head pounded. Was this pain? He couldn't even feel his limbs, probably from both the coldness and the pain from his rattling lungs. His joints ached as he tried to lift himself off the floor.

"_Its cold. Was it always this cold?" _

He knew Las Noches had no heating in the corridors, but was it always this cold? Was the floor always this cold?

Cold hands, rattling lungs. It hurt.

There was just pain. Pain, pain all over.

"_Where am I?"_

His legs hurt. His head hurt. Everything about him just hurt. The world around him was blurred and unfocused. It was like he was blind, like he couldn't see. It was like someone had doused acid into his eyes and fogged up each of his five senses.

But he could hear. He could only hear muffled sounds, and he couldn't recognise any of the noises he was hearing, but he could still hear.

A voice was calling him, a familiar voice. A voice full of panic and... fear?

Was this voice afraid?

The cold simply penetrated him. It entered his entire body. Both inside and outside was simply frozen because his temperature had dropped so suddenly and so drastically. He probably had hypothermia now, so he was probably very close to death at the present moment. He could almost feel its jaws closing all around him, the jaws of death, causing ache in his muscles and his heartbeat to slow almost to a stop.

Then he heard the voice again.

"Aizen-sama! Aizen-sama! Oh for gods sakes please wake up..."

Gin? Was that Gin? It sounded like him, but then again, everything was still in a haze and he couldn't exactly see anything but blurry shapes and this big bright light that seared into his eyes as his brain started to slowly but steadily demist the world around him. He tried to speak out to the voice, for some kind of affirmation that it was really Gin calling out to him, and trying to bring him back from the clutches of death.

But he couldn't. He could barely breathe, let alone try to find his voice. But the shock was starting to wear off now, and some sense of feeling was coming back to him, to his body. He still couldn't move, rather to say he was unable to move, but he could feel his limbs again as the cold began to melt away because of some form of ethereal heat from nearby. It started with his toes, with the heat slowly creeping up his legs and arms, then through to his neck. It worked its way up inside him, coiling in his belly and through to the rest of his internal organs.

Lungs, trachea, pharynx, larynx, all began to thaw out and relax again with the gradual rise in temperature.

Stomach, intestines, kidneys, liver. All thawing out and defrosting from the inside out because of the heat filling him.

His organs were not frozen in the literal sense, but to Aizen the only way to describe both the cold and the ache he felt was to say that they were indeed frozen. There was no other word, just... frozen.

They felt frozen. It felt like every bit of his insides was caked in ice and frozen solid.

That was what deaths teeth felt like.

He had always told Gin stories of Death – with his sharp teeth, and how when he came how the one who was to die slowly felt this piercing chill right down to the bones. And that they would feel his teeth closing around their body, only feeling the relief when they left this world to follow Death from this life.

Was this story more than just the making of myths and legend?

"Gin?"

He could feel some form of warmth surrounding him, both near his chest and the rest of his body from the outsides. The heat from other bodies started warming him from the outside inwards, he assumed the larger heat source was Gin, but right now he couldn't fathom what or who the secondary smaller source of heat was, until everything started to de-blur that is. When everything started to come back into focus again as his temperature slowly yet steadily rose, the cold sensations from before melting away to leave only the aches and pains of his now creaking joints.

Gin jolted. Gasping as he looked down upon his lover, still quite near to breaking point, and scared half to death. And Gin never did scare easily; it was only when his heartstrings were pulled that Gin got scared. That he felt fear. Because it was only when the people he loved and cared deeply about were involved that caused the smiling man to fear, that made him tremble and shake violently. It was only when those he loved were brought to harm, no matter now minor, that Ichimaru Gin's palms began to sweat and his heart pounded harshly against the inside of his ribs. It was only when those closest to him wee hurting that he grew frightened. Not for himself, but for them. Because it is those beings that he simply cannot live without. That he will cease to function without.

His face dropped as he glanced at Aizen there in his arms, slowly waking up and calling out to him.

"Gin..."

His voice was weak. Gin's voice was not much better. His voice was hoarse from crying and pleading, and screaming at Aizen earlier. But he still managed to get his words out.

Gin..."

"I'm here Aizen-sama..."

He spoke meekly. Rather uncharacteristically of him, because he always was so sure of himself, so dominant, defiant and any other strong words that could possibly be used to describe him, but not meek. Though this would probably be a testament to how much the fear of loss can break a man.

Gin watched, tears still pouring down his face as Aizen twitched and started lifting his head and trying to move his body to get up, Only to move his limbs a couple of inches across the floor. Though he did manage to tilt his head upwards enough to look at Gin and realise that he was being held by him. Gin cradling his upper body and resting his head on his partially exposed chest. The world around him defogging quite nicely now, enough for him to realise where and who he was.

"Gin... it is you..."

Gin looked down at him, his pale hand softly caressing his lover's face, his smile widening a little as Aizen mustered up the strength to smile a weary smile before gritting his teeth and almost doubling over again.

Aizen clutched his stomach. God, he was never in this much pain in all his life. He was breathing heavily, this fight had taken a lot out of him.

"It hurts..."

"I know love..."

The little fox whined next to him as he groaned in pain, flattening his ears against his head so that their black tips touched the white. He whined again and licked his master's face, which prompted Aizen to sit up, despite the catastrophic amount of pain he was in.

"Tsuku?"

The young fox barked and got to his feet, wagging his tail and giving Aizen's face one great big lick before Aizen stroked the foxes face so he squinted and lowered his ears to be at the sides of his head. Pleased that his master had remembered him.

"So you were that smaller heat."

The fox revelled in his master's gentle strokes, while Gin just looked on at the scene. Aizen had just been returned to them after all, so it was alright to let the man and his fox have a quiet moment together. Well, Aizen _did _nearly die.

"Gin... ugh... help me up."

Gin obeyed, and began to help Aizen to his feet, to lead him to bed so he could get some much needed rest. Aizen's joints ached and creaked when he struggled to stand up. And even more so when Gin guided him to his room. Tsuku made sure to follow them; his master had just returned and he wasn't going to leave his side again now. He stayed with them as they reached Aizen's bedroom, jumping on the bed and lying down next to him as Gin quietly laid him down on his side. The fox quickly curled up close to Aizen's ribs and rested his little head on him, ready to fall asleep with him.

Gin looked down at them. Aizen was breathing heavily, and he was covered in cold sweat. But his breathing was slowly calming down, so he could breathe a quick sigh of relief. He thought about calling for Szayel to give Aizen medical treatment, or at the very least, painkillers. But he thought against it. This was a pain of the soul, not the body. Painkillers would do nothing.

He thought of calling for Orihime, but what could she do? How could she help him?

He just sighed again and slowly walked over to the door, pausing there for a few minutes. He contemplated leaving but he decided against it. He didn't really want to leave him.

He shut the door quietly, making sure not to make one single sound as he closed it. Then walking back over and crawling onto the bed. He lay down behind Aizen and just held onto him until the three of them fell asleep together.

And maybe when Aizen woke up again things would go back to normal. But for now, they were all on the knife's edge, unsure of which version of Aizen they were going to see when the next day dawned.


	39. On the knife's edge II

**Chapter 38: On the knife****'s edge II**

He did not know exactly how long he had been asleep for, but Aizen gathered it had indeed been at least, if not more than a few hours when he eventually woke up. He didn't feel cold any more though, which was a good thing. Because the coldness didn't really do much for him. But he supposed that was because Gin had fallen asleep next to him. He still couldn't move very much, if at all because he was still in quite a bit of pain so he just decided to stay lying there. Tsuku was fast asleep curled up with his back against his master's ribs; having been trying to keep Aizen warm throughout the night. And Gin's arms were still wrapped around him, although they were relaxed now. He had not moved for the entire time Aizen was asleep there.

Damn, he really cared that much?

His head was still a little hazy, so he thought better than to even try and get up. If he collapsed again Gin wouldn't be too pleased with him, plus what if he actually hurt himself again? Gin didn't have the physical strength to actually carry him down the hall, much less to Szayel for any form of healing. So he thought it a better idea to stay where he was. In bed. Practically surrounded by those he cared about. And strangely he found himself to have been hugging Tsuku in his sleep. Which was strange, because normally, he wasn't as affectionate with Tsuku. At least not as much as Gin was with Cherry, but he and Tsuku had a different form of relationship. They were close, but not so much in the physical sense. Because even though Aizen wasn't openly cuddly with the fox in front of other people, it did not mean that he, or Tsuku, didn't enjoy their own private moments of displayed affection. In fact, Tsuku relished the attention when he got it. But the fox got attention on his own terms. It was probably because Tsuku was a bit older than Cherry before he was adopted that things were this way, contributed to the fact that aizen did not particularly care for displays of affection... well, in public anyway. In private though was another matter entirely.

He felt the little fox stretch out his legs and give out a tired yawn as he moved to get up, flattening his ears and licking his lips as he padded across the bed linen back towards his master, then proceeding to sniff his face as Aizen smiled up at him.

"See. I am still here."

Tsuku kept sniffing him, wondering what this strange new scent was. It was Aizen's scent, but he kept on sniffing like he did whenever he came across a new and different kind of smell. Aizen moved his hand up to stroke the young foxes face, smiling softly as his fingertips felt the warmth of his white fur with the minute tints of black. Tsuku squinted, his ears twitching. With aizen lying there admiring him standing tall like he did, only to have a spray of saliva and whatever else land in his face.

Tsuku had sneezed.

All over his face.

"Aw Tsuku!"

Tsuku barked and simply wagged his tail, quite pleased with himself at having woken his master up, watching with pleasure as Aizen groaned and tried to wipe off the spray from his face with the palm of his hand that had now covered his face, as Tsuku then tried to climb on him. Apparently it was time to get up now.

Well, according to Tsuku it was, anyway. Never mind what anybody else thought of the matter. But Aizen wasn't having any of it.

"Aw, Tsuku, no, wait, get off me!"

He laughed involuntarily as his face became the target of many licks and paw nudges, as he rolled onto his back, which woke up the sleeping Gin.

"Aizen-sama, its too early." he drawled, still in his half asleep state. Suddenly shaking his head and smiling at the little fox and his antics before lifting him away from Aizen's face. Gin took a hold of the bewildered creature and set him on his lap.

"Now Tsuku-kun, Aizen-sama's kinda sick, you shouldn' be messin' 'im."

Gin tried to be stern, but Tsuku just whined. His eyes saying 'but Aizen-chan is back. Why can't we jump on him?' as he lowered his ears. Only he was swept up into Gin's arms only a moment later and squeezed tightly.

"Aw ne. He's gonna get better. Jus' let 'im sleep?"

The fox only answered back with a quiet, slow wag of his bushy black tipped tail, and a quiet promise to himself that he and Aizen would definitely play together later, when Gin had gone. He would make sure of that.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Quiet, but loud enough to be heard by the occupants of Aizen's room. Aizen groaned at the intrusion of what was supposed to be his peaceful and quiet day relaxing in bed to dull his aches and pains, but eventually gave in, rolling over onto his side again and granting the visitor entrance; he and Gin were both clothed anyway.

"This better be important." he mumbled, burying his face into one of the nearest pillows to drown out what he thought was going to be another little dispute between a couple of his espada. Namely Grimmjow and whoever else he had happened to fall out with today. Gin just groaned, still exhausted as he threw himself down next to Aizen again as the visitor walked in hesitantly. They expected an arrancar, but they got their prisoner instead.

"Um. Aizen-sama... um, I hope you don't mind me just coming in like this, but um...

Orihime had just entered the room, holding Cherry in her arms. Half expecting Aizen to just send her away again judging by her current behaviour and body language.

"Cherry-chan was scratching at the door but it was closed and she couldn't get in and I thought she wanted to come in and see you. I didn't know that Gin-sama would be in here too though."

she trailed off, as she was prone to doing after rapidly hammering out her sentences like that. Speaking run on sentences and barely pausing to take a breath.

"Wait. Why is Gin-sama in here? And why were you two sleeping in the same bed?" she asked, her voice softening as if she were pondering something. Most likely with her overactive imagination running wild as it did when she dreamt of going on a date with Ichigo in the park back in Karakura town...

"Oh." Gin said. Trying to think of something reasonable as an excuse. Like he needed an excuse _to sleep next to his own lover_... it seemed ridiculous. But nonetheless, he needed an excuse to keep the girl fooled. At least for a little while longer anyway.

"Aizen-sama's sick." he replied. Breathing a mental sigh of relief as he watched her face overcome with concern.

Good. She was still gullible.


	40. Let's forget the past

I don't think I'll be re-working anything past this point. I like everything from here on out and the direction its all going in so I won't touch these parts.

* * *

**Act II: Wiping the slate clean**

**Chapter 39: Let's forget the past**

Since she had asked the question, Aizen had to perk up. Gin had already explained to her that Aizen had a touch of hypothermia, or as it is more commonly known by the lay person, low body temperature, and Gin explained that he was merely keeping him warm so he didn't die. Which wasn't a complete lie, so Gin didn't have to fake much of the concern here because it already existed.

"Oh..." she said, uncertain as to how exactly to react to this. "Do you feel better now Aizen-sama?" she asked, lightly holding her wrist, still with the little fox in her arms as she watched a rather rough looking Aizen drag himself to sit up, with some amount of difficulty. His joints were still sore and aching even now. But he still managed to sit up enough in the bed to be able to converse properly with her. Aizen was not so weak that he lacked common courtesy. He was going to at least look at her when he spoke. And Aizen was not one to appear weak in front of his subordinates, he liked to keep up appearances, as it were.

"Yes, I am. Well, much better than I was anyway. how are you my dear?"

"Oh, I'm just fine Aizen-sama." she responded shyly as Cherry jumped onto the bed and lay down next to her mate Tsuku. Resting her head on top of his and curling up beside him affectionately.

Gin smiled at the scene; they were just made to be with each other, those two foxes. And everybody knew it. It was evident. It needed no justification – as love never did. And nobody ever questioned it either, it was just the norm. The Aizen and the Ichimaru were always together. Unlike their masters, who tended to much prefer privacy and to keep their romances quiet from the rest of the world. Or, at least from the rest of Las Noches anyway. At least.

Aizen smiled softly at her, his entire body still feeling heavy as he held her gaze momentarily. His hand rather dizzily taking hers, since he was still rather disorientated.

"Oh, my dear, I hope I didn't worry you too much earlier." he continued, not really remembering the previous events all too clearly, but he gathered from her expression that she was a little worried.

"Oh, no- not at all Aizen-sama."

Aizen smiled again, a little confused as to why she was being so formal with him. Again, he could not remember much, if anything at all from yesterday.

A slight blush crept across her face as his fingers ever so lightly gripped hers as Gin just watched, not saying anything as she got more and more flustered after he told her the 'sama' was not necessary.

"Oh, umm, s- sorry Aizen-sama.. err, I mean, errm, Aizen. Um, I... I have to go."

And with that she bounced off out of the room, quickly gathering herself and exiting. Leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Aizen's thoughts following after her. Gin knew so because of the intent look on his face. A few seconds of uninterrupted silence passed slowly by before Gin jumped on him, capturing his lips with his own.

Aizen was just practically swept up in the kiss, somewhat against his will since it came as a complete surprise, as Gin's arms snaked their way around his body and over his chest. With his soft lips gently laying kisses down his neck and softly sucking on his lover's neck.

"Err, Gin..."

Gin's hand just caressed his cheek and neck in response as he kissed him again, Aizen being quite startled by it all, his widened eyes probably being the give-away. Even as Gin kissed him deeply again, trying to provoke a tongue wrestle from him. Which worked... sort of. Even as he did try to echo his name in between kisses that left Gin quite breathless.

"Mmmm... Aizen... I... Aizen-sama..."

"Gin?"

Another forced kiss.

"Nnnuh, Aizen-sama..."

"Gin, what the fu-"

Gin's tongue invaded his mouth before he could even finish his sentence. It was pretty clear what Gin wanted.

He listened to Gin giggle as his arms wrapped themselves around Aizen's muscular frame.

"Gin, what are you doing?"

"We are alone now..." he purred, smiling into the nape of his lover's neck. "we can do whatever we want now."

Gin kissed Aizen's neck again, numerous times before he continued, desire welling up in his gut the more he touched Aizen's body, his grin widening.

"Hmmm, you can have me now if ya want..."

"Excuse me?"

Aizen just looked at him with an expression of pure confusion. It was like he had forgotten, and now was quite baffled by this new situation he was in. Aizen's blank expression made Gin assume the worst.

"Huh? Ya mean ya don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Aizen had told Gin about this before, that amnesia was one of the side effects of being transferred into his inner world against his will by The Demon. And that it was a defence mechanism for the brain to protect itself from further damage. He also explained the different types of amnesia: retrogade, and anterogade. Retrogade being the one where long term memory of previous events was affected, and anterogade being the type of amnesia where only short term memory was effected.

But whether or not this damage was permanent, and the extent of it remained unknown. Usually his onsets of amnesia passed and were only temporary, but he never usually forgot this much of his life. Gin just tilted his head. Surely Aizen couldn't have forgotten they were lovers. Nobody could forget something that important...

or could they?

"You are my lover Aizen-sama."

Aizen just stared back at him. His expression unmoving. No signs of any of his usual recollection appearing, which made Gin begin to grow worried. Which you do after someone you have loved for so long suddenly forgets what you are to them.

Gin feared the worst. The worst soon happened

"I'm sorry, but I really have no recollection of that. I believe you are mistaken."

"How can I be mistaken?" Gin asked, his expression dropping itself automatically. "Don't you remember? You... you asked me to follow you... follow wherever you led me. You... you said that you loved me... as, as I did to you... and we..." Gin swallowed, trying not to collapse inside. One doesn't just go and forget something like this. He knew Aizen was forgetful at times, but never this much.

Gin panicked, taking Aizen's hand in both of his, allowing Aizen to look into his blood coloured eyes. Maybe he would remember him if he saw his eyes...

"We... we have sex... we make love together. Don'... don't you remember? Don't you remember our past?"

Gin hoped he would remember. Gin hoped to god that he would remember. He hoped that he would remember what they had and what they were, and all of the nights spent in each other's arms. He hoped he would remember the overly clichéd nights spent gazing at the stars and the moon and Aizen's very corny metaphors. All of the times they fought and made up and all of the passion they shared. Of everything they shared; joy passion, pain. He hoped he would remember their days together, working, playing, side by side. Together, always. That couldn't end, it just couldn't.

He hoped to god that he would remember... something this good couldn't just simply end.

_Could it? _

They sat there for a moment – a long moment – just looking at each other. Gin's hands holding onto Aizen's as he tried to get him to remember.

"_Please remember me... please. You can't forget me that easily love... you have to remember!"_

But Aizen just continued to stare blankly. Try as he did, he just couldn't recall anything of his life from before today.

"No... I really have no idea what you are talking about Gin. I don't remember. And I don't think that I would ever touch you in... that way. I'm sorry."

Gin reluctantly let go of Aizen's hand as he pulled away, whimpering very quietly as his lover's hand left his.

"I'm sorry Gin. I just don't remember."

Gin looked away, unable to even look him in the face any more. It was just too painful.

It was painful for Aizen too, though he would probably never admit it outright. But it was. To see so much adoration in someone's eyes and not being able to remember it is not something so easily shaken off. He sighed. If what Gin said was true, then it was just going to be a matter of time whether he remembered the past or not.

"Let's just get some sleep. Maybe I'll remember in the morning."

"Yeah..." Gin replied, listening but not really believing his words as Aizen lay back down again to fall asleep. Leaving Gin unsure of whether he should touch him or not.

* * *

"Retrogade amnesia - a person's pre-existing memories are lost to conscious recollection, beyond an ordinary degree of forgetfulness. The person may be able to memorize new things that occur after the onset of amnesia (unlike in anterograde amnesia), but is unable to recall some or all of their life or identity prior to the onset"

i know its a bit of a cop out, but it was perfect. I was thinking about how to move things forward for ages and then this idea came to me. It fitted in with so much, so why not use it?

Poor Gin though... it just gets worse for him before it gets better.


	41. Let me move on

**Chapter 40: Let me move on**

Gin did not touch him that night. He wanted to, badly, but he didn't. He kept his distance. He had to, he wasn't sure how Aizen would react if he tried his previous stunt again. He could get violent, and possibly more scared off from him, and then he would never want to remember the past at all. And that would be disastrous. That would destroy him.

He did not sleep much that night, if at all. He only got about three hours worth of sleep from all the tossing and turning, and the nightmares coupled with the anxiety of recent events. Normally Aizen would hold him and vanquish his anxieties of the day, but this was not any normal circumstance. He wanted it to be a normal day now, so he could hold Aizen's warm body and just be soothed into sleep again, but he couldn't. He wasn't allowed to. Or at least, Aizen wouldn't allow him to. Because who wants someone they don't even know being intimate with them on that kind of level? Unless they were looking for a one night stand that is, but Gin knew that Aizen was not that type of man. He knew Aizen wanted stability above everything else. Alongside loyalty and exclusivity. Monogamy, as it was called. A mate for life. And right now that wasn't Gin.

The dawn broke early in the morning and Gin was wide awake as the artificial sun rose. He just sat there, contemplating the situation he and his lover were in now, and possible ways of returning things to normal, despite the slim chances of that ever happening. But it worried him. It absolutely scared him. Aizen's amnesia had never been this bad before... so he did wonder whether Aizen would pull out of it. And what about Orihime... what about her? Now that Aizen's loyalty to him was gone and forgotten he could fall for her. What then? What would he do then? He just didn't know.

Gin sighed quietly. It was still very early in the morning, and it had just turned light outside. He sat there with his chin resting in one of his hands as he watched Aizen sleeping, still exhausted. Gin watched the sun rise higher, somewhat melancholic. Minutes passed – well, maybe hours, time was fluid in this world, despite the presence of a replicated sun. but it was a while Gin waited before Aizen did wake up. He watched his eyes pry open, and then adjust to the harsh light. It was then that he did indeed wish for some sort of time piece to exist here, just so he could tell how many hours he had been waiting there watching Aizen sleep. It was a sight Gin would never grow bored of, but this time seemed different. It was like looking at a stranger now. Someone who didn't know Gin at all. Aizen opened his eyes and looked at him, even though he did not move from the position he had fallen asleep in.

"How long have you been there watching me?"

"Oh, not long."

Gin looked away, out of the window, trying to make it seem like he was looking at something outside. And of course, failed miserably.

Aizen just looked at him before he got up. Slowly making his way towards the doorway. He glanced at Gin's face out of the corner of his eyes before his hand rested itself on the doorhandle.

"Liar."

Another moment of silence passed, a slow moment. A moment that for Gin seemed to last for an eternity.

"Is it that interesting to watch me sleep? Or were you thinking of the past that I cannot remember again?"

"I..."

"Or is it that you have feelings for me, yet are trying to manipulate me?"

"No, that's not-"

"The past, Gin, that you talk about, apparently did not happen in my mind. Now, I don't know why that is. But I would greatly appreciate it if you weren't so close to me."

Silence. He sounded angry. But then again, he didn't. Gin really didn't know what to say back to him, so he just decided to go with compliance. That would make it easier for the both of them.

"Yes Aizen-sama."

Aizen smiled at him, warmly. Only adding even more confusion to the situation.

"Well, if what you say is true, then it will just be until I remember you again."

Gin forced a weary smile. Really, this wasn't helping. Though he had to make out like he was fine with this... new version of Aizen. The pre-Gin Aizen. This stranger who was so unpredictable.

"Sure." he said, getting up also and casually sauntering over to the door, trying not to let his legs buckle out from underneath him so he collapsed onto the floor in shock. Eventually resting his arm on the edge of the door as Aizen pulled it open.

"Shall we?"

Gin nodded, following him out of he bedroom – for what would be the last time in what would be a long while.

It was the longest walk of Gin's life, going out of that room. In a way that he couldn't explain.

They walked down the hallway at about an average pace. Rather leisurely compared to Aizen's usual walk. But then again, this was not the usual Aizen Gin knew. This was another Aizen. Someone who was entirely different. A stranger.

"Oh, Gin, who was that charming young woman who came in earlier? I don't quite remember her name."

"Oh, Orihime-chan."

"Hmm, so that's her name..."

Gin noted a rather far off look in his eyes as he thought about her as his thoughts trailed off. Aizen thought about her for some time as they walked, their conversation having ceased. He was _enthralled _with her. He simply could not get her off his mind, and it was obvious. It was obvious that all of their carefully laid plans had toppled down because of his memory being erased by that bastard in his head. But Aizen's thoughts were far from Gin.

Aizen kept thinking about her; the way she walked into the room, the way she handled the little fox with such motherly care, the way her cheeks reddened when he had touched her hand, her innocence, her demurity, how she didn't shy away from him despite his immense power. Somehow he felt a connection to her, left there from before he could remember. He was just drawn to her, in the way that a man is drawn to a woman, as yin is drawn to yang. He felt in perfect balance with her beside him it was unreal. This utter calm and serenity washed over him when she was in his presence – even though it was just for that short time before she left him again. He thought of her beauty, despite her lack of grace, and how his eyes managed to look past her very ample chest into those purple hued violet eyes. He thought of how loved everything about her.

Loved...

Was he in love with Orihime before this onset of amnesia? It surely felt that way. But he had little time to think on it further, because she practically bounced into him and he had to hold onto her to stop her falling over backwards.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

"You should be more careful my dear. You could hurt yourself."

She blushed again. Damn that blush, it would be the internal death of him. He looked into those purple eyes again, getting lost in them. With Gin just watching, and then deciding that he didn't want to watch them any more.

"Um... I'm... I'm gonna go."

And so he left, because he found himself unable to stand there. He was just unable to watch them together.

Because it was simply just too painful to watch the man he loved holding another.


	42. Till you're mine again I

**Chapter 41: Till you're mine again I**

Gin walked away rather quickly, leaving Aizen in the company of Orihime. Aizen watched him go, although missed Gin's backward glance towards him because his attentions were snatched away again by the lovely Orihime.

"Oh, yes, that's right! If I hurt myself then I won't be able to make a baby for you Aizen-sama! I swear I'll be more careful from now on!"

"Yes, I don't want you hurting yourself..." he smiled, before continuing "hey wait, at what point did I say I wanted to make a baby with you?"

Orihime tilted her head, obviously confused at Aizen's memory, or lack of memory.

"Huh? You don't remember? Well, you said that you wanted to make a baby with me, I don't remember why exactly, but you said that you did, and I said that I would. Because, I'm... well Umm..."

Aizen tried to look at her, but she had dropped her head again after having trailed off her words, like she didn't really want to answer the question. He looked down over her, still with his arms around her waist as she glanced away trying to hide her face from him.

"Now now, what were you going to say? You just trailed off there mid sentence."

"Ummm..."

Aizen laughed softly. "Hmm go on..."

She looked up at him again, her face now a bright red.

"Because..."

"Hmm, because what?"

He looked at her intently, this girl... she seemed so pure, so innocent. And it showed in her inability to interact with him when he showed an interest in her. Which was quite surreal to him. From what he remembered about her, she had never been this way before...

"Um, because I love you Aizen-sama."

His face was probably priceless as she spoke that sentence.

"Oh really? Well... I love you too."

"Hmm?"

She barely had any time at all to react when his lips collided with hers, taking her into a rough kiss, while still being careful to be gentle to not bruise her delicate lips, or damage her tender tongue as his crept somewhat forcefully into her mouth. Tasting every crevice of her mouth and the edge of her throat as his tongue ravished hers, drawing out a soft moan from her as he pulled away.

He was being unusually warm today. Rather out of character for him. Well to Orihime he was acting out of character anyway, usually he was this dark and foreboding creature that made her jump if he so much as uttered a word to her. No, Aizen was... different today. Refreshingly so. He was being more affectionate, and why wouldn't he be? They were lovers now after all.

"Um, Aizen-sama, I..."

"Oh Orihime, that blush of yours... I see it's crept onto your face again."

She squeaked in embarrassment, just caught up in the moment, along with his embrace. Prompting him to caress her cheek with his hand and fingertips. He smiled. One of those mischievous, evil, scheming smiles that to Orihime only meant he was plotting something. Or having some very dirty thoughts. She squeaked quietly, still not quite used to this – having never had a lover before – and was a little flustered at how close he was getting to her ear.

"You said I wanted to make a baby with you. Well, shall we start... right... now?"

"Uhh, Aizen-sama..."

Her body felt hot all over, his provocative voice making his intentions and plans for the evening perfectly clear.

"_His voice... oh god his voice..."_

His voice had this solidarity to it, which just sent her mind and body reeling. The thought of his touch, his fingertips over her bare skin... him taking her again... the thought of that insane pleasure filling her being again seemed so unreal, like a dream.

"Yes..."

"Mmmnn, then let's retire to the bedroom and make love."

"Of course Aizen-sama." she replied, using this as an opportunity to kiss him this time. Exploring his mouth as far as was permitted, and initiating a wrestle of tongues when he held her to him, until she forgot to breathe and pulled back.

"Oops heh heh, I forgot to breathe. I guess I'm not very good kisser."

"Nonsense, you kiss me wonderfully."

He smiled at her affectionately, lost from all other trains of thought until a sharp pain coursed through his head, making him feel dizzy and faint again. He touched his left temple with his fingertips trying to pinpoint the source of the pain, but this pain was coming from somewhere else. Somewhere internally, and Aizen couldn't quite put his finger on it. He shut his eyes to try and blank it out and push it aside, but it didn't work. His usual defence mechanism against pain had failed and the world around him stated to spin wildly. Voices echoing around and around in his head. Another voice, his own voice... all he heard was just this distorted and chilling voice. Just everywhere in his head. He tried to breathe, he had to remember how to breathe...

"Ow..."

"Aizen-sama?"

Another voice, this one in his ears. Orihime's voice.

"Aizen-sama are you okay? Aizen-sama?"

He grit his teeth, and suddenly the world ceased its spinning, leaving Aizen to re-orientate himself in his domain again.

"Voices..."

"Umm, are you sure you're okay? I mean, you were sick earlier, and you should rest if you're sick."

"Ah, no, its alright. I'm fine.

"Are- are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

Aizen took another deep breath to clear his head. More oxygen in his lungs should make his body stabilize itself, so he breathed in deeply and waited for the voice in his head to silence.

"Now..." he said to her, his sly smirk returning.

"Shall we go to the bedroom?"

...

Gin heard them both talking from somewhere just around the corner. He was leaning against the wall, not caring about what the cold would do to him and his health, all that was on his mind right now were the thoughts of Aizen and her together. Aizen, his lover, bedding another woman. And they wouldn't go away... no mater how many times he told himself it was so he could have a child. So that he could have either a son or daughter in his life. Despite how he told himself that his was what he asked for and this infidelity was he only way he could get what he wanted.

He tried to shake those thoughts away, shook his head and pretended they didn't bother him, and told himself that she meant nothing to Aizen, and that he would remember who he was soon. And that all Gin had to do until then was wait patiently until the right time came when Orihime fell pregnant and they no longer required her. That was all he had to do.

All he had to do was wait and trust his lover to remember him again.

He kept telling himself that as he walked away, leaving Aizen and Orihime to their bedroom antics.

...

Aizen kicked his bedroom door closed behind him while permitting her tongue to explore his mouth. His dexterous, skilled hands caressing her bare shoulders and removing the remnants of clothing from her body and exposing her bare skin. And she, becoming more daring now – more brave – running her palms over his exposed chest, wrestling his tongue with hers, with him slowly guiding her backwards onto the bed, where they continued to undress amid the wild and intense fighting of tongues.

He held her down lightly, pinning her arms above her head, eliciting soft moans from her as he broke the kiss, his hands roaming over her voluptuous curves and her ample breasts as she lay under him, panting heavily as he guided her legs around him, kissing her softly. His erection against the inside of her leg making her shudder quietly before screaming when he entered her, leaving her absolutely breathless.

"Ahh... Aizen-sama. Umm..."

"Yes, Orihime-chan?"

He didn't let her say anything else. He just dominated her mouth with another kiss, allowing her body to relax, letting her hands wander onto his shoulders as he made love to her, with the both of them falling asleep when the sun started to set.

...

Many days passed like this. With Aizen blissfully unaware of the past, and Orihime just enjoying her time alone with her new lover. And Gin now realised just how hard this time apart from his lover was actually going to be. The days seemed to pass more slowly, and he often found himself bored and frustrated, left alone to roam Las Noches and its many corridors by himself often with no purpose until the night came. But even then it felt like he had no purpose here.

It was easier at first, but then it really sank in just how much time Gin would be apart from him. After all, decades they had been together. Decades. And then to be suddenly forgotten like nothing had happened simply drove the knife in. But memory loss was often a temporary condition, so he had nothing to worry about. Aizen would remember him again and things would resume as normal. But why didn't Aizen remember him? Why did he suddenly suffer trauma enough to make him forget him, his lover of all people. The one he practically shared his life with. But there was nothing he could do. It was done. And he would just have to wait and see if Aizen remembered him. Which he would, one day. Even if Gin had to make him remember him.

And Gin would be waiting there, waiting for the Aizen he knew and loved to walk through his door again, even if it took days, weeks, months. Maybe even years if it came down to it. He decided though, that he needed to be strong until that day came when he would be able to hold him again. And for a time, this was easy to do.

But as time grew on, Aizen's absence in Gin's life and his bed became more and more obvious. The nights were colder and longer, and it was then that he just felt alone. It was then that he missed his lover's kiss, his lover's touch, his taste, his smell, his warmth. It just seemed so different to be sleeping alone after all their time together, with rarely a day sleeping apart, even before their defection. So being alone now was such a shock to both his system and heart. So much so that it meant that Gin had some difficulties in sleeping. Though on the night that he did sleep were only filled with dreams of Aizen next to him, and of nights where they made love. Only to wake up holding nohing, and to remember that he was with her again.

That was what hurt the most. The fact that he knew Aizen was with her. And it was these times he regretted asking for this. He regretted pushing Aizen into her arms because he wanted a child. He had wanted to raise a child with Aizen, and had somehow become blinded by this ambition tha he forgo about the consequences. The possibility that Orihime would fall in love with Aizen. That Aizen would fall in love with her.

Gin could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. He could see it, it was obvious how Aizen felt about her. Gin didn't know if that meant Aizen would never regain his memories again, but all he knew was that Gin didn't want to lose him. Not after all they had been through together. Even now his heart ached inside him when he thought of that possibility – that Aizen would never be coming back to him.

Gin loved him.

He would often hear Aizen's voice, teasing his ear in its echoes through the white corridors, sorely empted to run in the direction the voice was coming from. But then Gin would realise that voice wasn't for him anymore. And the realisation dawned that Aizen wasn't his.

Sometimes it didn't even seem like they were even lovers.

Sometimes it didn't even feel like they had anything at all.

More time passed by silently with the weeks steadily turning into months, and Gin slowly began to grow used to spending his days aimlessly wandering around and spending sleepless nights lonely. He essentially had nobody to talk to or confide in. Cherry kept him company, but it was really Aizen that he missed. And it was Aizen he was afraid of losing right now.

He was afraid of losing his love, the one who would go to hell and back for him, who was currently in the process of doing so to give Gin something he truly wanted. Metaphorically of course, but the principal was the same.

Although what was what he wanted without having Aizen to share it with him? What were hopes and dreams of their future when the very present was uncertain? What was feeling love if he wasn't with Aizen?

As he lay awake that night, Gin knew that he couldn't have what he wanted and be happy without Aizen by his side. It would be like being half empty all of the time, like he wouldn't ever be whole again until he was with him again. And Gin eventually decided that he would give up on it if it meant not sharing it with the one he loved more than anything.

Gin lay awake for most of that night, thinking about the past, the present, and his very uncertain future with Aizen, and wondering whether having a child through this amount of deceit was actually worth risking losing his lover. And whether or not this was really just a huge mistake. But after hours spent awake and thinking, Gin did eventually fall asleep.

Alone.

As he would be for a long, long time.


	43. Leave the hurt behind

**Chapter 42: Leave the hurt behind**

For Aizen however, things were going quite differently.

More days had passed, and he gradually grew more distanced from Gin and his memories of all things previous, and began spending most of his time with his new found love interest, Orihime. At least ninety percent of this time being spent in bed with her, quite blissfully ignorant of his well laid plan he had set up pre-amnesia to get her pregnant, and unaware of the fact that one morning this plan was about to succeed.

It was on this particular morning in particular that Orihime woke up slowly, reluctant to open her eyes to let the artificial sun blind her. She was in Aizen's bed, again, which was the norm nowadays since the arrangements had been made for her to move into Aizen's room with him. Even though these arrangements were only very recent she was oddly comfortable with it. Seeing as she hadn't shared a bed with anyone else before, much less a man, it was far different from what she was used to. But then again, this was really what she had been brought here for. To create an heir for Aizen was the purpose he had intended for her. But one thing struck her though - she hadn't ever expected things to turn out as they had. And she never in her lifetime expected to develop a romantic interest in her captor, in Aizen Sousuke – the master of all that was evil - in this fashion.

After all, falling in love with someone who had torn her away from her friends seemed silly, ridiculous even. But it happened. And it happened of its own accord. It probably happened because she had never really been the object of Ichigo's affections before, or any man's affections for that matter. And once she finally thought it was a better choice to give up on Ichigo ever loving her back her feelings for Aizen seemed to develop naturally.

Because somehow she knew it would never happen with her and Ichigo, somewhere inside she always did know that. But why it took her until now to realise it she never knew. Why she didn't seem to want to accept it until Aizen made his interest in her known she didn't know exactly. And she probably never would know. But from all of the fairytales and fantasies she had read as a child she could gather that love was this strange and stupid thing that often never happened as it should – because after all, fairytales were all fictitious. Lies. An exaggeration of the real world. Fictitious. Untrue. Even she knew that.

And since believing in those fairytales involving her and Ichigo only brought pain, she thought it best to just leave the hurt behind and start again. Build some form of new life here if she could, with someone who clearly had an interest in her; the interest Ichigo never had in her.

Her eyes opened slowly, Aizen had been awake before her, and evidently had taken great pleasure in watching her sleeping next to him. She groaned softly as she woke up, with the sun not quite blinding her as much as she expected.

"Oh, you're awake."

Her eyes met his warm smile again, and his soft eyes that gently gazed into hers, gazing affectionately at her as she steadily woke from her peaceful slumber.

"Did you sleep well?"

She nodded, stretching out her legs underneath the bedsheets, accidentally touching his foot with her toes and blushing because of their accidental touch.

"Um, yes..."

Aizen let out a little chuckle as she spoke, his fingertips slowly lifting her chin so she was facing him.

"Then... I'm glad, Orihime."

"Umm..."

He ignored her ever reddening face as he gazed into her purple hued eyes, his thumb sotly stroking her cheekbone as her feet curled up towards her body away from his toes. She really was a shy one, this girl, but then again he did not favour her for her boldness. If she were bolder, he would probably show her no interest whatsoever. After all, all of the arrancar females were bold and feisty in some way, and he just paid them no heed. Simply put; they did not interest him. He wanted a lover, not just meaningless and possibly non consensual sex with defiant women.

She raised her hand slowly up towards her chest, her fingers curling around slightly in towards her palm reflexively, as Aizen's hand caressed her face, gradually getting closer to her until his lips could press against hers, eliciting a little moan from her as his tongue goaded her deeper into the kiss, only not completely dominating her tongue. He let her dictate the pace of their tongue wrestle this time, letting her explore him long enough before she had to breathe again and break away from his lips, just in time to see him smile.

"I have arranged for Ulquiorra to bring your breakfast. I'm afraid I have some matters to attend to this morning."

He caressed her cheek again, still gazing intently at her, deciding that he really didn't want to have to leave, but nonetheless leaving anyway.

She watched him get up and dress himself, wondering quietly if he realised he puffed out his chest each time he set to walk out of the door each morning or whether it was a subconscious action. He pulled his coat on and walked out, stopping partway out of the door to take a quick look back towards her.

"I will return later. I trust you can amuse yourself in my absence."

"Oh, uh yes!"

"Very well then. I will try not to take too long."

Aizen then exited the room, not even bothering to close the door on his way out, casually strolling past Ulquiorra on his way down the corridor, barely even looking at him or acknowledging his presence as they passed each other. The only sense of Acknowledgement being a simple nod of the head from the espada as he carried Orihime's breakfast into Aizen-sama's bedroom.

Ulquiorra's eyes never once left him. This man, this powerful being who had nearly killed him only a short while ago, walking so calmly, so serenely past him... it just seemed so unreal he could be this calm after being so ungodly violent. It was like he had two separate personalities. But Ulquiorra knew that already, from his previous experiences of being used by him.

His body started to tremble as Aizen walked past him, out of instinct, fearing the possibility that Aizen could snap at any moment. But this time Aizen paid him no notice whatsoever. It was like nothing had ever happened.

"_He's not right... he's unstable."_

He composed himself again and took a deep breath, trying to stop his hands and body shaking.

"_As long as I stay away from him, things will be fine."_

He figured Aizen would be unstable from the beginning, but now it was like he was an entirely different person. Which was strange and somewhat unnerving. But he shook it off and carried on walking towards Aizen's bedroom with Orihimes breakfast.

He knocked on the door loudly.

"Woman, I'm coming in. Are you decent?"

"Oh, yes!"

He slowly pushed the door open and walked in. Orihime was still in bed wearing her white strapless dress, her face slowly returning to its normal colour as she looked at Ulquiorra.

"Hi, Ulquiorra-sama."

"I have brought you breakfast."

"Oh... thankyou but, I don't want it."

She didn't seem to want to look at him, she kept looking down at her hands as she twiddled her thumbs in circles as she spoke with a quietened voice. It was as if the previous energy she usually exuberated had all of a sudden failed her.

"I actually feel quite sick..."

"Then go the the bathroom if you're going to be sick, silly woman."


	44. Till you're mine again II

**Chapter 43: Till you're mine again II**

Moments later Ulquiorra was standing outside of the en suite bathroom door, listening to Orihime throwing up into the toilet.

"Woman, are... are you alright in there?"

"Umm, yes, I... I think so."

He sighed deeply, somewhat annoyed as she coughed again. But then again, this was Orihime, so this was to be expected. She always tended to neglect her health, which did annoy him. Whether this was spending too long in the cold night air or neglecting to eat her food as she did in her earlier days in captivity, it still bothered him. After all, it was his priority to make sure that she was in a good state of health. Well, that was what he told himself before, but the reality was that he actually cared about her – which was a fact that he just seemed to accept now. After all, they were lovers at one point, before Aizen came in and claimed her. Stole her away from Ulquiorra by means of threatening and blackmail.

He sighed again, waiting for her to finish and open the bathroom door again and come out, which wasn't very long.

"Umm, Ulquiorra?"

She poked her head around the door to look at him, completely unaware of him until he held onto her arm to stop her falling over or fainting since she looked quite weak to him.

"Ugh, I think I need to see a doctor..."

Her voice was weak too, it was evident her vitality had left her, and Ulquiorra decided this was abnormal.

"Yes, I will take you yo see Szayel immediately. We cannot have you sick. Get dressed and we will go."

"Okay."

She was being obedient this time. Perhaps because this was for her own well being this time instead of an order she really didn't want to have to follow, like mating with Aizen for example.

"Follow me then, woman."

She nodded, and soon the pair were walking down the too bland to describe white hallways in silence. Ulquiorra was worried for many reasons; about Orihime being sick, about what would happen if she _did _bring a child into the world like Aizen had planned her to in the beginning. But the more he thought about it, the more his thoughts drifted back towards his encounter with Aizen earlier. Ever since Orihime had restored Ulquiorra, Aizen seemed to have changed in personality rather drastically. It was like he had multiple personalities. One day he would be acting normal, the next day he would be nasty, abusive and violent. It was so strange. But Ulquiorra knew that he was trouble; it wasn't normal to be acting this way with such an inconsistent personality.

...

It wasn't long before the both of them reached Szayel's so called 'office', and were invited in after Ulquiorra knocked on the door. Szayel was sitting at his desk scrawling something into a little black notebook when they went in, barely looking up from the white page he was scribbling on when his guests walked in – Ulquiorra rather boldly and unfazed, and Orihime following him a bit more sheepishly.

"Oh hello Ulquiorra. What can I do for you today?" Szayel greeted them, with a little too much enthusiasm for Ulquiorra's taste.

"I am just here for Orihime today. Just a medical exam. She says she is sick."

Szayel got up and looked the girl up and down, rubbing his chin thoughtfully with his index finger as he pulled up all of the medical knowledge in his brain before questioning Orihime on her symptoms.

"Any fevers?"

"No."

"Any unusual lumps or bumps?"

"Nope"

"Stomach pains? Any achy painy joints?"

"Just my stomach from being sick."

"Hmmm..."

The pink haired espada thought deeply, then set about checking her reflexes and looking down her throat for any abnormalities, finding none. Then an idea came to him.

"Are you sexually active Miss Orihime?"

Orihime's face reddened again, and Ulquiorra answered for her, noting her being uncomfortable with the question.

"Yes she is." he said, his tone still stoic despite his growing concern for Orihime at this point. And Szayel began to rifle through the drawers in his desk, looking for something that would prove his suspicions. Ulquiorra's glare stopping him from making any comments.

"Aha! Then this should help!"

Ulquiorra winced a little at his over-enthusiasm at producing a pregnancy test – undoubtedly from the human world - and handing it to her. "Just follow the instructions and then if it comes back negative you come back and see me okay."

Orihime shook a little as she eyed the little box.

A pregnancy test. She had never needed one. But she supposed that if this was Aizen's plan for her, then she would go along with it and see if she was carrying his child.

"Umm, okay."

She took the little box from the pink haired espada and Ulquiorra escorted her back to her room for a bit of privacy while she took the test.

...

A little later, she was in her little bathroom, reading the instructions on the back of the box. She had already taken the test and was waiting for the result to show. She knew that she had always wanted to have children one day, but whenever she'd thought of her having children in the past, she was thinking of bearing Ichigo's children. But she shook that thought out of her head – it would never have happened. And besides, maybe if she was pregnant, having Aizen's child wouldn't be so bad.

She kept pacing the tiled floor, more out of nerves than anything. Ulquiorra was waiting outside, respecting the woman's privacy, but his concerns were growing by the minute. He wanted to be with her when she found out the test results, but he didn't know how she would react to that. She had been in there a while... did it always take this long to use one of those human contraptions?

He knocked gently on the door.

"Woman? Are you done in there? Can I come in?"

"Yes, you can come in." she replied, her voice a little shaky. After all, this was the first time shed experienced taking a pregnancy test – even if her falling pregnant was fully intended.

He stepped in slowly, and she still paced the floor. Nervous, as one could expect.

"What does it say?" he asked, for he knew nothing of these human diagnostic tools.

Her heart lurched in her chest as he spoke. She really didn't want to look but at the same time she knew she had to. She swallowed had and picked up the test from the counter by the sink.

"It says I'm pregnant."

His expression changed as soon as the realisation hit him. Everything about him screamed shock, and confusion as to how to react to this news.

"I see. What are you going to do?"

"I need to tell Aizen-sama."

"Alright. He is in the meeting room, I will escort you there."

...

Meanwhile, in the meeting room, Aizen was currently sleeping. His head was resting on the table with his hands on either side of him on the white marble surface, and he was currently having the strangest of dreams, murmuring quietly to himself as he slept.

"Mmm... Gin..." he murmured as he twitched slightly, laughing a little as he dreamt strangely, a smile slowly spreading its way across his face as he remained in this deep sleep, breathing quietly for a few moments before he started sleeptalking again.

"Muh... fuck me, Gin..."

He laughed again, still quite enjoying his rather erotic dream, until a loud knock on the door woke him up, so that he jolted upright. Aizen had always been a light sleeper, so even small sounds tended to wake him up. His eyes suddenly shooting wide open as he suddenly realised what – and who – he had been dreaming about.

"Oh my god!" he yelled, almost falling off his chair as he woke up with a start, rubbing his head as he sighed in frustration.

"That was some seriously fucked up dream." he said to himself, now getting quite worried as to what images the sandman was bringing him. Until the loud knock came on the door again.

"Come in." Aizen said, quietly rubbing his temples as the door opened, then turning to attentively greet his guests. Just in time for Orihime and Ulquiorra to enter the room.

"Ah, Ulquiorra, Orihime." Aizen smiled warmly, watching as Ulquiorra stepped in, followed by a rather timid Orihime.

"What brings you here today?"

"Orihime wanted to speak with you, Aizen-sama."

The girl walked into the room quietly, suddenly becoming quite uncomfortable with confronting Aizen on her own terms, since this was something that had never happened before. So to her it seemed quite strange. And of course, for any woman, telling a man she was pregnant with his child was possibly one of the most daunting experiences she could face. Especially if that man was Aizen Sousuke.

But he just smiled gently at her, his eyes not once leaving hers.

"Is this true, Orihime?"

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

"Very well then, you have my undivided attention. Ulquiorra, may you leave us for the moment?"

Ulquiorra had his reservations about leaving the both of them alone, considering Aizen's schizophrenic tendencies, but nonetheless nodded and left them.

"Now, where were we my dear?" Aizen continued, quite curious as to what she wanted to talk about, until a splitting pain shot through his head like it did before. And the cackling, distorted voice started resonating inside his head again, while his head felt like it was going to crack open. He winced and gritted his teeth as the distorted voice spoke words he could barely make out, going faint and slightly dizzy, forgetting the world around him as the voice grew stronger, and more like his own, only much more twisted.

"Aizen-sama? Aizen-sama are you okay? Aizen-sama?"

He managed to shake off the headache when he heard Orihime's voice calling out to him. The pain slowly becoming a dull ache and the voice quieting.

She called out to him again, quite worried that he had suddenly gone so pale and ill, and that his serene expression had become so pained.

"Aizen-sama are you alright?"

He shook his head, coming back to his senses.

"Ugh, sorry, just had a headache. I'll be fine."

"Oh, but are you sure, you looked like you were in a lot of pain... are you sure it's nothing I should be worried about?"

He shook his head again, reassuring her that there was nothing wrong with his health.

"No," he lied. But then again, he didn't want to worry her. "I'm fine. Now tell me, what is it you wanted to speak to me about?"

She suddenly stopped, unsure of what to say. She had been planning all of what she would say to him on her way here, but now she was actually facing him, all words just failed her.

"Uhh, I'm n-not sure how to say this, but..."

Aizen raised his eyebrow at her, wondering what she would say next. Under normal circumstances, she would never confront him, usually it was the other way around. So he wondered if it was because she had some sort of problem with him.

"Hm? What is it, my dear? Do you have a problem?"

"Umm, no, not that exactly... it's just..."

"Just what?"

She stood beside him as he sat still on his chair looking back at her. Unconsciously, she placed a hand on her lower stomach protectively, finally deciding that since Aizen had intended this, she may as well just come out and say it. Aizen's voice finally broke her silence.

"Do you have a problem with me? Have I done something to upset you?"

"No, not at all. In fact, it's opposite... I'm actually carrying your child."

Everything about his face just dropped. Unsurprisingly, he looked very shocked.

"What?"

"Aizen-sama, I'm pregnant!"

And then, he somehow, miraculously, managed to fall off the chair he was sitting on. Landing in a very strange position on the floor.

"Ow... my head..."

Orihime put her hands to her mouth, wondering if he had hurt himself badly, or if she should get a nurse, or if she should just do anything in general at this point.

"Oh my! Oh Aizen-sama are you alright?"

"Just banged my head." he groaned as he dragged himself up, taking hold of her hands once he was on his feet. Broadening his smile and softening his eyes as he looked at her, even though she was a bit bemused by his reaction.

"But this is absolutely wonderful news, we must celebrate it."

She bowed her head gently, lowering her gaze and smiling softly. After all this was not exactly unexpected news.

"I am glad to help fulfil Aizen-sama's wishes."

As she bowed, her hair fell over her shoulders, covering part of her face, Orihime remaining there until a warm touch brushed her auburn hair from her eyes.

"Now, there is no need for such formality. After all, this is a child born of love, and to have you bring my child into the world makes me so happy. That is... if you want that as well."

"O- of course."

"Look at me, Orihime."

She tilted her head upwards to face him, and his soft lips collided against hers, his arms pulling her in for a gentle kiss before breaking away again. Allowing her to relax into his embrace again. He took a while to enjoy this moment, holding onto the woman he loved who was now carrying his child. Although he did realise that he still had some things to do, but that could wait a little while.

"Oh, forgive me, you must be needing some rest. I don't want you overexerting yourself now."

He nuzzled into her neck affectionately, and she thought him quite affectionate the way he was being protective of her.

She let out a little giggle. It was a little strange having somebody fussing over her like this, especially a man. But she thought it was a good thing. At least she knew he would be a caring father to the baby.

"Yes, Aizen-sama. I'll just be taking it easy from now on."

"Perfect." He kissed her again, this time on the cheek. Then holding out his arm for her to hold onto as they exited the room, pretty much like a man and his wife would do.

...

When they exited the room though, Orihime didn't really pay much attention to the two female arrancar supposedly standing guard outside of the door. It was both Loli and Menoli, and they didn't seem all to pleased with either her, _or_ the way Aizen was acting around her.

"Hah, they disgust me!" Loli snorted, waiting until Aizen and Orihime were fully out of sight and earshot before making her opinions known to her sister.

"Who?" Menoli answered, since Loli did not exactly _like _many people.

"Ugh, that girl of course!" the black haired girl folded her arms in displeasure, looking as if she were about to spit onto the floor as a more visual display of her apparent disgust.

"She thinks she's so special, the way she has Aizen fawning all over her like that! She thinks she has him wrapped around her little _finger!"_

The blond haired woman stepped in, trying to rationalise her sister, and putting her opinion in too.

"But it's not her fault. Aizen-sama's got a part in this too. After all, isn't he just stringing her along?"

"Oh yes, that's right." Loli grinned, showing off her usual wicked grin.

"What about Gin? Doesn't he already have that bastard too? And I thought that man _abhorred_ adultery..."

"Unless he wanted the taste of a woman?" Menoli piped up, sharing her sister's anger. "But if it's a woman he wanted, then why not any of us? Then why not one of _us_?"

"I'll tell you why! It's because that _bitch _thinks she's so much better than us!"

Loli snarled, her voice almost at a shout now. Though luckily for her she'd had the patience enough to wait until Aizen couldn't even hear her before she spoke up.

"Oh, then we should make her pay for lording it over us, Loli." Menoli grinned, exchanging a knowing glance with her sister.

"Yes," Loli smirked, sharing her sister's mirth at the plans they had in store for little Orihime. "we shall..."

…

Elsewhere in Las Noches, Gin was playing a little game with Cherry-chan, waggling his fingers for her to try and pounce on them as they moved, like a mouse would move for her to catch. He smiled for a moment at her antics and then sighed, his thoughts drifting off again to thoughts of Aizen.

He thought about how things used to be between them, and slowly began to think of the likelihood of Aizen ever remembering him at all. After all, not everyone who had amnesia regained all of their memories, and Aizen's latest case of it was far worse than any of his previous incidents of memory loss.

"_When are ya gonna remember me? It's not like we were strangers..."_

His hand had stopped moving, and the fox's paws prodded it to keep playing their little game, but Gin was just lost in thought.

"_Do you even want to remember me? I said I would be your lover you until you said you were done with me, but... are you done with me now? Because you remember nothing of our past together? I think I pushed you too far this time, I'm struggling to cope like this. But you said that love never died, so how does that work out?"_

He breathed quietly, not really wanting to disrupt the peace and quiet, Although when Ulquiorra decided to come in, it was disrupted anyway.

"Oh, hello Ulqui-chan." Gin said, just as the little white fox gave a little yip to greet the espada, who had walked in. He gave her little notice though apart from a gentle pat on the head as he stepped closer.

"I am sorry to disturb you Ichimaru-sama, but I have something I need to discuss with you."

"Oh, what d'ya wanna talk about?" Gin asked, tilting his head as Cherry just looked up at Ulquiorra.

"I will keep this brief, but, it is about Aizen-sama."

"Oh, so you have a problem with 'im?"

"I say this because I know you are close to him, but... I advise you to stay away from him."

Gin's smile vanished, only to be replaced by a look of confusion. Why on earth would he want to stay away from Aizen? Surely if he wanted to help Aizen regain his memories, surely that could be helped by spending _more_ time with him?

"Eh? Bu' why?"

"He has been acting differently lately, and I'm worried about it. He's just been acting... strange lately."

"Oh... well, okay."

"Just be careful Ichimaru-sama, he could turn violent, I've seen it happen before. This could just be the calm before the storm."

Umm, well okay. Thanks, I guess."

The espada nodded, quite satisfied that he had voiced his concerns to at least one other person, even if Gin didn't listen to him in the future, at least he had told somebody.

"Well, I better be going. I have matters to attend to."

"Okay then, bye."

Gin watched Ulquiorra go and then quiet came once more, and the little fox started again to get her master to resume their little cat and mouse game with Gin's fingers.

…

Some more time had passed before Gin had another visitor into his little sanctuary, in the form of Aizen this time. Today it seemed like Gin wasn't going to get much peace and quiet...

"Ne? Aizen-sama? What're you doin' here? Did ya need me fer somethin'?"

Gin perked up, wondering if now would be his chance to help his lover regain some of his old memories back, deciding to jump at whatever chances he got to try. He was sitting on one of the chairs, holding onto Cherry as she slept soundly on his lap.

"No, not today Gin, I just wanted to drop you a little visit. You seem kind of down lately. And besides, I have some good news I'd like to share."

"Oh, good news?"

Gin's grin widened. Good news? This sounded promising, and it could probably cheer him up since he could use some excitement right about now since today had been pretty boring.

So, excited, Gin stood up, waking the sleepy Cherry in his arms as he got up, suddenly noticing she was a little heavier than usual.

"Aiya, Cherry-chan, yer getting' kinda fat! What we been feedin' you?"

He teased the little fox, holding her on her back against his arms as he teased her sweetly, softly scratching her belly as she squeaked and flattened her ears – she'd always liked her belly being rubbed.

"Hmm..." Aizen smiled thoughtfully, his expression becoming gentler as he vocalised his thoughts. "maybe she's pregnant?"

Gin tilted his head to the side once more and took a look down at the young white fox in his arms, who was currently making herself comfortable.

"Oh, ya think so?"

"She does appear to be so. I mean, she has gained a little weight. And she has been spending a lot of time with Tsuku lately."

Gin squeezed Cherry a little tighter, unable to hide his excitement at the very thought of Cherry having pups, or the pitter patter of little tiny paws all over Las Noches. The little fox squeaked a little as he lifted her up so her bright blue eyes met with his red ones.

"Cherry-chan, does tha mean yer gonna be a mommy?"

The little fox barked and wagged her tail, her big pink tongue gracing Gin's face with its presence, much to her master's delight as he smiled again, rubbing her nose against his and hugging her to him. He was so excited, he was going to be the fox babies grandfather.

"My Cherry-chan's gonna be a mommy!"

Aizen let out a laugh. Honestly, Gin was just so excitable over the smallest things. But of course, he wasn't one to talk. He had fallen off his chair in his own excitement at the news of new life being brought into the world.

But he just smiled and shook his head, stroking the vixen's head as she squeaked and flattened her ears back against her head, laughing softly to himself at the sight of his subordinate being just as excited as he was.

"I know someone else who's pregnant too."


	45. Two birds, one stone

**Chapter 44: Two birds, one stone**

It did not take the two arrancar women very long to formulate some sort of plan between them. Of course, naturally it involved some cunning, and some sneaking around too; but that was the way things had to be done in Las Noches to avoid the penetrating gaze of their so called 'master'. And to just avoid his wrath in general.

Loli was on her own, leaning her back against the pale wall, waiting for her sister Menoli to come back so they could initiate their plan and put it into action. She had been waiting there for all of ten minutes before she heard Menoli's voice echoing down the hallway, gradually getting louder.

"Loli!" Menoli called out, running over towards her dark haired sister, who was currently loitering around Orihime's door awaiting Menoli's return. Although Loli really didn't seem too amused by the time Menoli had reached her.

"Will you be quiet?" she hissed back at the blonde haired arrancar, careful not to raise her voice. "do you want her to hear us?"

"Sorry, I forgot she was in there."

Loli folded her arms, not very happy at Menoli's sudden increase in stupidity. Honestly, her sister could be so loud sometimes... although in reality she wasn't one to talk, Loli could be just as loud.

"Did you forget your voice echoes in this place too? Anyway, what's the report?"

The other woman looked around, nervously. As if she were expecting somebody to come walking past and hear them talking about something illegal that they should really have no knowledge of.

"Aizen-sama is talking with Ichimaru-sama right now. From what I could see, the door was closed. So it is just as we expected. Since only one thing happens when they shut the door."

Loli smiled. Giving a grin that dripped both disdain and utter deviousness that her plan would go off without a hitch.

"Ha! Yep they're probably fucking, no doubt. Its a surprise everybody _doesn't _know what those two get up to since they're so loud. Actually it makes me sick."

Menoli nodded in agreement, sharing in her sister's anger. "And the way he strings her along like that too, its just degrading!"

Loli snorted and made her disgust evident, folding her arms as she stepped forward to push herself away from the wall behind her.

"Well, maybe we can kill two birds with one stone. Get back at the girl _and_ Aizen-sama. She'll stop lording it over us and Aizen-sama won't be able to have his 'bit on the side'. Its perfect!"

And with that Loli moved to open the door to the girl's room, not needing any reason to hesitate. That was, until Menoli spoke up again.

"But... are you sure about this Loli? I mean, doing all this just because you're jealous of Orihime since Aizen-sama's in love with her seems a bit much."

Loli was just about to open the door to the girl's room when she froze, her hand halfway towards the door handle. She turned her head slowly towards her sister as she straightened her back and very, very slowly stood up straight, not even giving a second thought about letting the palm of her hand smack against Menoli's soft cheek, slapping her so hard that it left a red mark on her face.

"I thought I told you to never speak of that again!" she snarled, temporarily forgetting where she was as she continued to screech at her sister. Menoli just stood there, dumbfounded, only able to listen to Loli's outburst.

"Of course I am sure." she heard Loli growl, "why wouldn't I be sure? He _used_ me, Menoli. And then he just _threw_ me aside when I was of no more use to him... when he found out I couldn't give him what he wanted. He's a bastard, and I want miss goody two shoes in there to know it. I want her to see that in the end she'll end up just like me."

Menoli was shocked, but was quick to apologise when she saw her sister's distress. Because what happened in the past had affected Loli too, despite her tough exterior.

"I'm sorry Loli, I know it still hurts what he did. And I knew how much he meant to you..."

Loli fell silent, her hands clenching into fists as they started to shake.

"Sousuke..." she muttered, her eyes turned to the floor, unable to stop herself from falling apart emotionally.

"I used to call him S_ousuke!" _she yelled, hitting her palm of her hand against the wall as all the tears she'd bottled up from so long ago came out from her eyes. Silently sobbing as Menoli looked onwards.

"She doesn't even call him that..."

"Loli..."

Menoli put her hand on her sister's shoulder, watching as she sobbed quietly. The hand on her shoulder being a small comfort in an otherwise unforgiving and very cruel world.

"Are you okay?"

Loli took a deep breath to calm herself before answering, trying her best to quiet the diminishing sobs coming from her.

"It's okay. I'm fine."

Loli looked up at Menoli, wiping her eyes and trying to make it appear as if she had never been crying at all.

"I'm sorry Loli-chan, I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"Its okay." Loli smiled, her smile at her sister now much softer than it was earlier. She really was grateful Menoli was there for her. "Now lets get moving, that Orihime girl needs to know the truth about him."

"Yeah."

Menoli watched as Loli knocked loudly on Orihime's door, not even waiting for a response before Loli slowly edged the door open and they both walked in.

...

Orihime was washing her face in the bathroom when she heard the knock on her door.

"Now who could that be?" she asked herself, as she dried her face with the towel and left the bathroom, coming into the room just as Loli came in rather sheepishly.

"Oh, Hime-sama~" Loli called out to her, as Orihime suddenly stopped upon seeing her.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" Orihime stammered, Loli and Menoli weren't supposed to be here. And given that they didn't like her this just made Orihime all the more anxious for them to leave. Or at least for them to reveal their true intentions for being in her room uninvited.

"Oh, nothing really, we just came to see you for something..."

Loli sauntered in slowly but casually, followed quietly by Menoli who said nothing. But as they edged closer, Orihime eyed their movements carefully, watching to see if they tried to attack her and hurt her unborn child.

She backed away steadily, preparing to shield herself and gathering the will to attack them if she needed to protect her baby. Her hand subconsciously, without her knowledge, moving to shield her womb as she stepped backwards.

"You're not supposed to be here." she told them, with as much gumption she could muster. After all, she had a baby inside her now, and she couldn't let these two girls take it away from her and wreck Aizen-sama's plan. Too much was at stake here.

She stared then down, still waiting to see what they would do. Loli's voice had been dripping with sarcasm and Orihime already knew she was despised. So her apprehension was for good reason.

"Relax, Hime-chan, we didn't come here to hurt you. We came here for something else."

Orihime was quite confused. If they weren't going to hurt her, then what on earth were they here for? Something didn't seem right here. Something was off. And she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. Loli was so unpredictable, so nobody knew what she would do next, which meant that Orihime had to stay on her guard around her.

"Something else? Like what?"

Loli walked further into the room, her fingertips tracing the wall as she walked further in, making herself out to be non-chalant.

"Oh, no reason." she said, maintaining her guise that she was here only on business. "It's just that Aizen-sama said he wanted to see you."

"But, wouldn't he come and get me himself?"

"Oh, Aizen-sama is very busy, so he sent us to come and get you."

"Oh," Orihime paused, "I wasn't sure... but, if you say so."

She didn't want to cause a fight just in case something happened to her, so she just decided to go along with them for now. After all, she could protect herself with her powers and if the circumstances called for it, she could attack and defend herself. And of course, there was always the fact that Aizen would make them suffer if they so much as laid a finger on her to cause her harm in an way. So Orihime was quietly assured by those facts that she would be okay.

"So..." Loli continued, "aren't you going to see him? He said he wants to see you right away."

"Um well, I would, but..." Orihime paused. "I'm not sure I know the way."

"Oh, well that's not a problem." Menoli suddenly perked up. "you could come with us. We'll take you to go see him, we both know the way."

"Oh, well okay then!" Orihime chirped, almost sounding too happy that Aizen wanted to see her again for whatever reason. "You can show me the way."

The three of them left soon after, and Loli laughed lightly to herself as they all walked down the hallway to where Aizen would be.

Really, this girl was so gullible. It almost seemed too easy.


	46. The road to ruination

**Chapter 45: The road to ruination**

While she was being dragged by the two girls to see Aizen-sama, Orihime couldn't help but wonder when exactly it was they were taking her. And some small part of her kept thinking that they would take her somewhere secluded and then take advantage of her weakness and try and hurt her... or worse, try to harm her baby. Loli was very unpredictable and Orihime never knew what she was going to do next, so she had to be careful and always on guard whenever she was around Loli. Especially when Menoli was with her, because she was the one Loli seemed to have to have the most influence over.

"Umm, wh-where are we going?" Orihime asked, nervous now because she had never been in this part of Las Noches before, and her instincts kept telling her to just run away. Run away just in case Loli actually did want to hurt her child. Everything inside her just told her to run, but somehow she managed to swallow it all back down into her stomach again and hold her nerve. Loli was holding onto her arm and guiding her through the many hallways and passages as if it were her second nature while Menoli just followed, walking alongside them, her expression leaving all of her inner thoughts to Orihime's wild imagination. So she was only able to watch as they dragged her towards Aizen-sama.

"We're taking you to see Aizen-sama!" Loli replied, the excitement quite obvious in her voice as she went over her little plan in her head. Oh, how would the little princess react when she saw what her loving and gentlemanly Aizen-sama got up to behind her back? Loli felt giddy just thinking about it.

"He said he wanted to see you after all, so we're just showing you a little short cut to get there faster."

Orihime couldn't quite believe her words, there was something about the arrancar that she didn't trust, althought she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. But if she tried to run away then things could be made worse and Loli could get violent with her, and then her unborn child would be in danger. And if the child she was carrying was hurt – or worse, if Orihime _miscarried – _she wasn't sure if Aizen-sama would ever forgive her for it. Or if she could ever forgive herself for failing to protect the baby she loved and wanted to have.

So against all of her better judgement, she went along with the two girls, eventually coming towards the door to the room they were heading to.

...

Gin swallowed, his breath caught in his throat. Right now, for quite possibly the first time in many years, he was completely lost for words to say.

He had hoped for this, longed for this for so long and now that it was actually happening it just didn't seem real. It just seemed to be a dream and he kept thinking he'd wake up in bed any moment now and find out it was all just a figment of his imagination. So he had to make sure it wasn't. He had to make sure it was true, and not just a dream.

He tried to remember to breathe, to remain calm. After all, he could have gotten this all wrong, he could have misheard Aizen's words. He could just be hallucinating or hearing things so he had to make sure what he'd heard was right.

He swallowed again. "Is... is it Orihime?"

Gin's breath caught, he could barely breathe. It was like waiting for Julius Caesar to grant his approval, knowing that if he disapproved then it meant death. He could hear his heart in his ears, his hands starting to tremble as he waited for his stupid question to be answered. He knew the answer, but he still had to ask to confirm what he thought to be true.

He waited, the seconds feeling like minutes as he hoped for the answer he wanted, with cold hand splayed across his chest with an internal feeling of cold fingers steadily gripping his beating heart as Gin waited silently for Aizen to speak.

"Yes."

"Orihime's..." Gin tried to talk, only losing the words partway through, much to Aizen's amusement; for the wicked grin on his face crept back. Aizen could have laughed; Gin... the murdering bastard with the silver tongue, the man who would kill you if you so much as looked at him funny and who was never short of anything to say... completely speechless. Although Aizen would never know exactly why this was so, he still found it to be slightly amusing.

"Yes," Aizen continued, "she is."

Gin looked at him, a rather dumbfounded expression on his face as he tried to find some words to say.

"Aizen-sama, I just... I can't believe it... your plan... it... it actually worked..."

"You're taking this rather well, Gin." Aizen smirked back. If he were honest with himself, Aizen half expected Gin to scream at him about his apparent betrayal... and quite possibly throw things at him. But he just put that down to his overactive imagination running amok again.

"Well, it is a bit of a shock. Besides it's not like I planned this. What you were talking about a plan?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Gin replied in his casual tone, ignoring Aizen's confusion over what he's said as he continued. "But anyway, you must be pretty happy, now that yer gonna be a dad."

Gin's smile widened again as he tried to change the subject, with Aizen smiling back at him warmly, the only thing breaking the silence between them being the sound of the door opening and Loli strolling in. Obviously having left her respect for them outside.

"May I help you, Loli?"

Aizen didn't look too particularly pleased at her walking in on his conversation, but then again Orihime was with them, which he found to be a rather pleasant surprise.

"Oh, hello Orihime, how nice it is to see you."

"Hello Aizen-sama." Orihime answered, seeming to be as happy as Aizen was. After all, it's not every day you discover you're going to become a parent. So she smiled back at him and he smiled back at her.

Loli though couldn't quite believe her eyes. Aizen and Gin were both standing there... fully clothed. Even when she had been so sure they wouldn't be. She cursed under her breath.

"Damn it, that should have worked..."

"Loli." Aizen's voice was cold, his eyes seeming to stare right into her.

"_Damn, now what am I going to do?" _she thought, trying to rack her brain for a reasonable excuse as to why she had just walked in on what appeared to be a private conversation. And now Aizen-sama was waiting for her answer.

He asked again. "Why are you here, Loli?"

"Oh, well..." she paused, trying to think of a reasonable answer.

"W-we brought Orihime with us. She wanted to see you, and she couldn't remember the way, so we brought her here."

Aizen's face seemed to brighten up at the very mention of her, and Loli breathed a very quiet igh of relief. While Gin just stood there looking at him with this blank expression so nobody knew what he really thought as Aizen spoke to Orihime in the gentlest of tones.

"Oh, well, if that's the case... Orihime, can you wait outside for a moment while we finish up here? I will be with you in a moment."

"But, Aizen-sama, I thought that you-" - Orihime tried to protest, that she thought it was her who had been asked to go and see him, only to be immediately shushed by Menoli, whom she forgot was standing right beside her. So in the end she just smiled and nodded, deciding not to argue. She didn't want to cause any trouble, not while those two girls were around.

"Yes, Aizen-sama."

Aizen watched Orihime leave with Menoli, with Loli still standing there staring up at him from her position in the doorway. Aizen was staring back at her, looking displeased, and Loli's eyes widened; this was obviously her cue to leave before he got angry.

She took one last glance back at him, one quick glare that she hoped he wouldn't notice before she turned on her heel and left the room, hovering there in the doorway for a moment before quietly shutting the door behind her as she went.

...

When he heard the door click shut, Aizen let out one long sigh, his shoulders tensing and relaxing with his breathing. Closing his eyes momentarily before turning back to the white haired shinigami standing in front of him.

"It seems we got a little sidetracked. Now... what were we talking about?"

Aizen looked at him, and Gin's breath shook as he stood there, trying to take it all in. His hands trembling ever so slightly as he looked up to meet Aizen's gaze, looking into those chocolate coloured eyes again after what had felt like an age. Finding his heart thumping away against his ribcage again with just one look at his lover's perfect face, unable to speak any words at all.

He stood there in silence, as Aizen prompted him for an answer, now starting to become unnerved with Gin's uncharacteristic silence.

"...Gin?"

Aizen's voice faltered after seeing the smile leave Gin's face as he stepped towards him, listening to his subordinate's footsteps echoing into the quiet. Aizen growing so unnerved he was unable to move a single muscle, not even when Gin's cold, pale hand ghosted across his jawline, his cool fingertips gently touching the soft skin of his cheek as Gin moved in closer to him – so close they were almost touching – talking to him in a low, hushed voice only seconds before their lips collided and Gin pulled him into a slow, passionate, and very deeply tongued kiss.

"I don't want to talk any more..."


	47. Won't you remember me? I

_Note to any regular followers: yes, this is supposed to be ch46. Ch47 will be the next one. I fucked with the chapters to add in a prologue. It was bothering me that i had nothing to tie everything in together (and to help me actually attempt to summarise this thing and solve many other problems), so i had to go screw about and add it in. I will probably go back and make some edits to some of the earlier chapters as well to smooth out some of the inconsistency, but we will see. It depends how big the inconsistencies are. But I still wanted to give you all something new to read, hence the double update ^^  
_

Anyway, these two chapters:

These next two chapters have some very heavy smut. So, be warned. Even by my standards this is quite shameless – and my smut scenes are probably about as shameless as they come.

It was originally just going to be one chapter, but it ended up so long i just decided to break it into two parts. it made it easier to work with.

I did try doing a "clean" version of these scenes, but i just got so bored i honestly wanted to go and scrub the kitchen floors instead of write it. So have some lemons instead. anyway, enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 46: Won't you remember me? I  
**

Aizen was just in pure shock. Gin had just smacked his lips right over his and kissed him. Passionately. Intensely. Even going so far as slipping his tongue into his mouth and guiding his hand up along his neck as a lover would. Aizen raised his hands slightly, lightly holding Gin's forearms as he broke away, his entire body just numb with the shock and Gin's sudden outburst of affection and over-familiarity with him.

"Gin," he said, with as much sternness as he could muster up, given the fact that words simply failed him at this point. "What are you doing?"

He was holding both of Gin's arms now, both to steady himself and to restrain Gin to stop him from having another outburst and throwing himself at him again. He could feel Gin trembling slightly as he held him still by the wrists.

"I... I don't know..." Gin replied to him, panting. Still quivering and trying to steady his already erratic breathing. "I just... I just..."

Gin kissed him again, breaking the very loose hold Aizen had on his wrists as he gave Aizen yet another deep and passionate kiss, his tongue slipping in again and trying to get him to return the kiss, but Aizen's tongue remained dead in his mouth.

"Gin..." Aizen protested, somewhere in between kisses and Gin's body being pressed against him. "Gin... Gin, stop..."

But Gin just kissed him again, and again. With his passion and intensity growing with each kiss, trying to entice him to react and return the passionate tongue wrestle. He was just overcome with emotion, at having been told that something he wanted so much was actually going to exist in his world, and all of Aizen's protests for him to stop fell on deaf ears as he kissed him again, cutting off Aizen's capability of speech.

"Gin. Gin stop- Mnn..."

Gin broke away again, quite flushed now. He had no idea what he was doing. He wasn't supposed to be this close to him, or this... intimate with him, but he just couldn't stop. He'd already had a taste of him and now he wanted, no needed, more. His entire being was just overcome with emotion and all rationality and sense of reason had just upped and left him.

"Oh god..." Gin panted, his voice trembling and cracking up as he tried to find coherent words. "Oh god, Aizen... a- a child. We- we're going to have a child... I- I can't believe it..."

"Gin, what the fuck are you talking abou-"

Gin deeply kissed him again, with yet more intensity. Cutting off yet more words. With more passion now than before, to ensure that Aizen's thoughts were only focused on him.

"Don't you remember?" Gin whispered, breaking the kiss away again so that he could catch breath again. "Don't you remember when you said you would do this for me? That you would give me a child?"

Aizen just stared back at him with a blank expression on his face, trying to think back to that time, but failing to remember anything. He had no idea what on earth Gin was talking about, or why Gin was reacting so strongly to being told that Orihime was pregnant with his child. It was all just pure nonsense to him.

"Gin, I already told you," Aizen growled back at him. More than annoyed now that he was being forced to recall things he did not even remember, and things he wasn't even sure had really happened. "I don't remember _anything like that!"_

"Well then..." Gin whispered, his voice slow and seductive in Aizen's ear now as he breathed quietly, drawing ever closer to him. Opening his eyes fully for him to see them properly. "I'll just have to help you remember..."

"Gin, I don't want you to-"

Aizen opened his mouth to protest, but he could not even utter more than a few words before Gin's lips locked heavily with his again, while a set of pale, slender fingers worked their way into his dark hair. And an arm started sneaking around his waist as another tongue wrestle initiated. Stunning him, shocking him... he wanted to pull away, or to push Gin off him and demand an explanation, but somehow he just couldn't. Normally he would have, but something prevented him. He didn't quite know whether it was Gin's hold on him or the fact that he was too shocked to do anything that kept him still, but something somewhere was preventing him from pushing Gin away and objecting to his advances.

A shudder ran up his spine as the kiss deepened and Gin's tongue pervaded his mouth, simply dominating him. Trying to elicit a response from him to reciprocate the kiss. A strange sensation of a familiar lust coiling in the pit of his stomach as Gin's arms tightened their hold on him and pulled him closer, his heart thumping away against his ribcage as his tongue unconsciously gave the response Gin wanted. And much to his own surprise, he found himself desiring more than just Gin's kisses, while feelings of unbidden arousal kept coursing through him. Gin's mere touch sending unwanted and confusing shudders of excitement through his body and up his spine.

Gin was drawing him in, his hands snaking their way around his waist and down the back of his neck, intimately caressing his bare skin and feeling the shivers that ran down his spine as he touched him. The shivers of excitement that Gin could feel he was trying to suppress. Along with the feelings of desire that Aizen's body seemed to remember, but his mind and heart found to be non-existent.

Aizen shuddered. His body... his body seemed to remember things completely separate from his conscious mind. It was as if those feelings that didn't exist in his being were being acted on by his body, completely of its own will. And making it so that Gin's touches were arousing him when they weren't supposed to be. He let out a quick gasp as Gin's arms roamed about him, moving onto his chest as they guided him backwards. Gin's hands then pushed him roughly against the wall behind them, and another deeply tongued kiss ensued. Aizen tried to resist it, he tried to fight the urges to both accept and return this deep kiss, but the urges were just too strong to be subdued as Gin's tongue continuously probed into the deep recesses of his mouth in exploration of him. And as they kissed Aizen was both intrigued about and shocked by Gin's strangely familiar taste. It was like he had tasted it before, but could barely remember where or why. And as the taste of Gin's tongue swam about in his mouth, Aizen could not help but let the softest of moans escape his throat as Gin broke away from him painfully slowly, with a wicked grin on his face, looking directly into him with those deep red eyes that were meant to seduce.

"What... what are you going to do to me?" Aizen gasped, quite overwhelmed by the way his body was reacting to these advances and his sudden inability to push Gin away from him; which he determined to be some sort of cowardice on his part, rather than the fact that it was because of the memories of his body from so long ago that he didn't remember now.

"I'm going to help you remember." Gin answered, his tone still so slow and seductive, no louder than a hushed whisper as he spoke, his hands still firmly planted on Aizen's chest with his slender fingers splayed out against the exposed skin, touching him in such an intimate manner that right now would normally only be reserved for Orihime. But Gin wasn't about to adhere to any boundaries. Not now he had a chance to make Aizen remember.

"Gin stop." he ordered, albeit with a shaking voice. "whatever you're doing to me, just stop..."

Aizen had hoped that Gin would stop now and not go any further, but it very quickly became clear from the way he was touching him now that Gin had no intentions of stopping. Despite all of his protests.

He murmured his pleas to stop, but Gin just carried on. Kissing him, touching him. Drawing out moans and shudders. Aizen felt like he had no control over his body any more; his body kept reacting to Gin's intimate touches, yet his concious mind kept screaming to him that _this was wrong. _That being aroused by Gin was _wrong. _After all, he was currently in love with Orihime, and the fact that his body was reacting this way to someone else's touches was just _perverse. _Wrong and perverse. He was practically cheating on Orihime right now, as his common sense was screaming at the top of its lungs at him.

"_What are you doing?" _it shouted, _"You're cheating on Orihime! Think what you're doing!"_

But Aizen couldn't think. He just had no control anymore. His body was just heating up the more Gin touched him and the heat was throwing him into some sort of delirium. He couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't even so much as push Gin away because of the sudden cowardice and confusion and pleasure that had overcome him. His mind and body were feeling two completely different things and Aizen just didn't know which one to obey. The strange sensations of his body and the logic in his mind were polar opposites now; the feelings his heart possessed for Orihime completely contradicted the way his body was reacting to Gin, and Aizen was just stuck there, watching it all happen as the feelings for Gin that his body remembered began to fight bitterly against the feelings for Orihime that he currently possessed in both his heart and mind.

"Gin... Gin stop... mmnnuh..."

Aizen tried to protest again, but Gin's lips just continued to work their way slowly, almost steadily, down the nape of Aizen's neck, causing more shudders of excitement than should have really been appropriate. Hands were slowly wandering down onto his waist and hips in turn, and all the while Aizen leant back against the wall, unable to so much as lift his arms. He closed his eyes steadily as his body succumbed to the odd pleasures, much to his mind's outrage. While Gin's oddly dexterous hands were working back up to his shoulders to remove his coat so it dropped to the floor with a soft thud.

Gin was breathing slowly at this point, his breath on Aizen's neck sending chills down his spine. It had been so long since they had been in this close proximity, and now Aizen was_ right where he wanted him. _

"But why?" Gin asked, feigning innocence before continuing in a more seductive tone "Your body doesn't want me to stop..."

Aizen groaned in frustration, both at his own inaction and confusion. Gin just laughed and proceeded to seduce his former lover, pulling Aizen away from the wall towards him and initiating another passionate kiss. All lips and tongue as his hands roamed about Aizen's clothed muscular body, his slender fingers starting from his shoulders and working his way down to the hips. With Aizen's hands holding onto him simply because there was nothing else for him to do with them.

Gin smiled knowingly to himself as he guided Aizen towards one of the marble chair, gently pushing a very confused, overwhelmed and non-resistant Aizen onto it.

"Lay back." he said, suddenly breathless despite himself.

"_It must have been all the kissing"_, he mused, while Aizen breathed deeply, as if to calm himself. No doubt he was very overwhelmed and confused, but Gin was resolved to making his lover remember him.

But Aizen's mind only told him to run away now while he still had some dignity – and some clothes – left on him. However, his body seemed to have other ideas, and so, only half willingly, he let Gin proceed to undress him.

He began by taking off Aizen's clothes. He undid Aizen's jacket so his bare chest was exposed and then worked his hands down to his hips to slide off his trousers. Aizen's eyes widened as Gin eyed him, but he didn't object.

"My," Gin mused, smiling slyly to himself as he glanced up at Aizen. "You _are_ quite big."

Aizen groaned in embarrassment. Wondering why on earth Gin was tormenting him like this. But of course, Gin was only pretending to be surprised. He had already seen it all before, even though Aizen didn't recall that. For right now Aizen was only concerned with the strange sensations of pleasure of being at Gin's very fingertips and the quiet anticipation creeping into his stomach as Gin's hands lifted his legs by the ankles in turn, slowly removing his sandals and then the black socks that rested just above his ankles.

He swallowed hard as Gin then stood up to undress, unsure of whether to run for the hills or stay where he was. He kept thinking of Orihime, and the numerous times he had seen her naked, but Gin's body was beyond anything he had expected it to be. Not only because of the fact that it was a man undressing before him instead of a woman – instead of Orihime - but because of how strangely attractive he found Gin's body to actually be. It was very odd.

He shut his eyes again and tried to push his strange and perverse thoughts out of his mind, but to no avail. But somehow he couldn't help but to look at the naked and very, _very_ shameless Gin in front of him. He must have had a very funny expression on his face because Gin widened his smile in amusement as he looked back at him.

"I take it ya like what yer seein' then?" Gin asked, although it was pretty much a rhetorical question. For Aizen's eyes were now _quite _wide and hismouth currently agape as Gin looked down at him, his already loosened hakama slipping off his shoulders as he advanced towards Aizen. Watching him swallow nervously as he stepped closer and leant over him, with quite a devious expression on his face.

"I promise..." Gin whispered, "you'll have a lot more to like once I... get things moving."

Aizen inhaled sharply, his eyes tightly closed as he felt Gin's hand close around his length, and the pleasure that came with it. His breaths half turning into moans the more Gin aroused him. His mind in more conflict than ever.

"You like that?" Gin asked him, although the answer was obvious as Aizen's breathing grew heavier. At which Gin just laughed gently, casually stroking Aizen until he became erect.

"I thought you might." Gin mused as he continued to pleasure Aizen with his hand, causing all of Aizen's thoughts to scramble about in his head. His sexual attraction to Gin now completely contradicting everything he thought and felt about Orihime as Gin got more physical with him.

"Oh gods..." Aizen muttered, panting in between breaths and gasps as Gin continued to pleasure him. "what the h- hell are you... ah -doing to me?"

Gin just smiled to himself, deciding to take things a bit further, still taking his time before responding to Aizen's question.

"Hmm, pleasuring you." he said, quite casually. Having no shame about being so intimate. Because after all the decades that had passed between them, Gin was no longer shy when it came to Aizen's body. Or touching it, for that matter. Even now, despite Aizen's current protests, he had lost all sense of shame. Even though Gin knew full well that he was currently taking advantage of him in his amnesiac state.

"I don't think you realised you were getting hard..." Gin mused, not even hiding his amusement now. "...or blushing."

Aizen screwed his eyes shut and made another noise that was somewhere in between a pleasured moan and a moan of embarrassed frustration while Gin continued to stroke his erection.

"_Damn Gin."_ He cursed to himself mentally. "_Damn Gin and his wandering hands. This... this is just..."_

Aizen couldn't breathe, his body was just so hot and Gin's hand movements were making, no, forcing him to gasp and pant and make some rather embarrassing yelps and noises. Only able to succumb to the waves of pleasure flowing through him. It was wrong. It was perverted. He knew it shouldn't be happening and that his body wasn't supposed to be responding to it. But he was liking it. Even though he didn't quite know why his body was responding in such a way the pleasure was undeniable.

"_So good."_

He shuddered again, his exposed skin cold against the marble chair. His mind was starting to fog over and he quickly lost the ability to protest Gin's advances any more. He was just overcome with it all, despite his mind screaming that this was wrong and what Orihime would think of him if she knew.

He gave another involuntary shiver and gripped the sides of the chair with his hands, trying to steady his heavy breathing and will his body to stop being aroused, despite the intense pleasure he was receiving. But it was no use, his body just wouldn't cooperate with him. He tried to shut it all out, and shut his eyes, but it didn't work. He only heard Gin moan and felt the pleasure in his lower regions intensifying. Aizen gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to override his impulses, but in the end he became so overwhelmed that he didn't even notice Gin had moved until he opened his eyes again and found Gin sitting straddling him. Naked. Already having lowered himself onto him.

"How's that feel?" Gin asked, shifting his hips slightly, smirking as he looked at Aizen's confused and overwhelmed expression at being inside Gin. "Good?"

Aizen threw his head back and moaned as Gin tensed around him. His body answering Gin's question for him.

"Ahh, fuck!"

"I'll take tha's a yes then." Gin replied, very amused at just how much power he had over the man. Laughing to himself as he relaxed again, smiling softly as he then guided Aizen's uncertain hands to rest on his hips before letting his own hands caress Aizen's exposed neck and shoulders.

"How could you ever forget _this?_" he whispered, amazed at how easily Aizen could have forgotten all of their previous lovemaking sessions and how he had felt. Forgotten how he had even _told _Gin how he felt, even before _ever _having sex – making love to him – and how Gin was no mere toy to him like the others had been. He even wondered at how he could forget that he had voiced how even Hinamori from all those years ago had been merely a target of his misdirected feelings for Gin. He did wonder about that.

But right now... Aizen was slipping through his fingers and Orihime was proving to be more of a distraction for his lover's affections. Aizen was getting far too friendly with her, right to the possibility where he had fallen for her. He was going to lose Aizen to her and he had to do something about this very quickly. In his amnesiac state, Aizen would develop feelings anew and forget his old ones – forget Gin – and fall in love with Orihime. When in reality Aizen belonged _only _to Gin. Body. Mind. Soul. All of him. He had even said it, that they were in love. So even if Aizen had temporarily lost his memories, he still belonged to Gin.

"Forget?" Aizen asked him, panting and confused "How can I forget something I... ahh! Don't even know?"

"But your body knows." Gin answered him bluntly, "Why else would you allow me to... ugh... go this far?" Gin paused, letting a quick gasp slip from him before he continued.

"And besides..." He said, his voice slow and seductive as he so casually fucked him, gradually building momentum with movements, with his lips just hovering over Aizen's again. The pale fingers on one of his hands slowly entwining themselves into his thick dark hair and tilting Aizen's head up to face him.

"you're mine."


	48. Won't you remember me? II

I'm quite excited to be getting back into this... its been a while. Feels weird to be excited over the story again, but anyway.

Much love to Zerolr for all the brainstorming and suggestions with these two lemons. And to Skiggle for giving me my groove back; I really feel like I could take on the world. Seriously could not have set down these two chapters (or any other chapters after these) without you guys commenting on the crapload of notes i gave you. It means a lot you're both so into this and help me along with it. It really does.

I'll give you my full scattered braindump on this at the end, for now just enjoy the shameless smut continuation. It is one of the last full on lemons, so i'mma make it a good one. Well... i'll try to anyway. I can do nothing but throw words together and try.

There's some reference to the backstory and the prologue in this one though, so if you haven't already caught it, i suggest reading the prologue. You don't have to, but i advise it. Stuff might make more sense. Or you can just read it if you want pure AiGin sap straight from the tree... either way, its up to you if you wanna go back and read it.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter. As always, comments are welcome but optional. But just don't feel like you _have_ to make a comment though if you don't like it. I don't need to know that, and there are better stories than this to comment on if you don't like this.

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**Chapter 47: Won't you remember me? II**

"_You're mine." _

Aizen barely had any time to react at all before his lips were captured in yet another deep and intense kiss, while Gin's words echoed around and around his head, repeating themselves over and over and somehow stirring up strange emotions in him that seemed so familiar that to him it was like they only existed yesterday, despite the fact they were completely foreign. Gin's tongue plunged down into his unguarded mouth and forcefully wrestled his tongue into submission, his fingers slowly entangling themselves into Aizen's thick hair as Aizen resisted, and then, after deciding resisting was useless, finally decided to give in. To surrender.

It was useless. His body was acting of its own accord without even him knowing why. He was like a salmon unable to fight the current sweeping him away down the river and into the sea.

He couldn't resist it any more. The strange urges were just too strong to ignore. And things had already progressed so far already without him being able to stop Gin's advances...

"_Why?"_ he thought, Gin's tongue fully dominating his mouth now,_"Why can't I... resist this?" _

Gin pulled away from his slowly, breaking their lip contact so slowly it was almost painful. Gin looked at him with an affection he never even knew, but Aizen couldn't meet his gaze; feeling nothing but embarrassment as Gin's soft eyes were upon him in such a state of submission. Although the pleasure of it was undeniable, and being with Gin did excite his body, his thoughts were with someone else and how she would be affected by what he was doing. And a sudden shame came over him the more he thought of the adultery he was committing, of what he was permitting to be done to him. Because, after all, Aizen was not built to submit to anyone; he was made to dominate.

He was brought out of his reverie however, when Gin suddenly shifted his hips and thrust them forwards, sending odd shivers of pleasure through his whole body. Gin dug his fingers further into Aizen's shoulders as he brought them forwards again, a little moan of pain escaping him as he built up momentum and began to settle into a steady pace, ignoring the pain he was in. Gin's body was actually quite unprepared for this sort of activity after some few months of Aizen's neglect, but he carried on regardless of the pain it caused. But Gin liked the pain. Because it was Aizen hurting him, he liked the pain. He would embrace the pain if it made Aizen remember him. Because Gin never would, and never had, let anybody but Aizen hurt him this way.

A quick gasp escaped Aizen's throat as Gin shifted his hips, a shudder coursing its way up his spine and sending chills right through him, which didn't go unnoticed by Gin, who just gave a satisfied grin.

"You like that, Aizen-sama?" he asked, a playful smile gracing his features. "Cuz there's plenty more where _that _came from."

He shoved his hips forward again, angling his hips in such a way that after a short time Aizen hit his sensitive spot, so that he too shook with pleasure. Moaning simultaneously with Aizen as his back arched and he leaned his head back, taking it in. It had been so long since Aizen had last taken him like this that these pleasurable sensations seemed like a dream. His hands on his lover's neck, the touch of his naked skin against his own... somehow it didn't seem real. Like it was an illusion. A fantasy.

Yes, that was it. It was a fantasy.

But it was a fantasy Gin wanted more of. A fantasy he wanted to make into reality. Even if Aizen didn't remember him now, he certainly would remember later on once he'd had his way with him. And Gin had already decided that it was only a matter of giving him a little shove in the right direction – a little reminder of just how good it felt to be with him - to coax those memories of their time together out into the open again. No matter who got hurt in the process. Yes, Gin would tempt him, like the serpent tempted Eve, and then Aizen would be his. Aizen would belong to him again... and life would be like a waking dream. Like this fantasy...

Gin smiled. He started slowly, shifting his hips into the position that created the most intense pleasures, gradually building up momentum with each slow movement. Drawing out pants, moans, gasps, and excited shivers from Aizen as well as himself. Completely taking control of Aizen's body, while Aizen's hands still rested lightly on his hips as he shifted them, their grip on Gin remaining constant even as his hip movements increased, intensifying the pleasures threatening to consume them. Gin, because he was with his love again, and Aizen because of the elicit and unbidden desires being aroused deep in the pit of him. Forbidden desires...

Gin opened his eyes slowly, gradually bringing his head back to look at Aizen again, with a softer groan leaving his parted lips as he brought himself out of his thoughts of fantasy and illusion and back to the present.

"Aizen-sama..." he moaned, breathing deeply as he relaxed his shoulders and slowly – ever so slowly – lifted his eyelids open to allow Aizen to see into the vibrant red hues of his irises, taking down the final barrier between them so he was completely exposed before Aizen. Gin's heart thumped as Aizen's chocolate coloured eyes found his, gazing directly into him, almost hypnotising him. If the eyes really were the windows into the soul, then Aizen's eyes were laying bare every emotion and impulse that came upon him. Gin was completely fascinated by him, and Gin's eyes just drank him in.

His dark, mussed up hair falling ungracefully over his forehead, the smooth skin on his face and neck, his high cheekbones and broad, his strong shoulders and well toned body, and those hypnotising chocolate coloured eyes... it wasn't hard to see why people would fall for him. Even with that bewildered expression on his face and those searching eyes, Aizen was a beautiful sight. And Gin remembered how, like many others, he had fallen in love with this man all those _many_ years ago – decades even – and yet he found it remarkable that even now, he _still _found Aizen sexy.

Gin smiled at him softly, still half panting as he caught his breath again. Of course, Aizen's looks did help, but it was still the man behind the pretty face Gin fell in love with.

Aizen's eyes just gazed up at him, trying to find some form of answer for why his body was reacting this way. Aizen had never been overpowered in such a way before, so everything was all quite surreal. So surreal in fact that to his eyes, Gin was strangely attractive to him, beautiful even.

It was insane. It was mad. But, even while he was in the throes of that madness and insanity - even amid what was probably pure and utter _depravity - _he found Gin to be surprisingly beautiful. His pale skin, his vibrantly red eyes, the way his hair the colour of freshly fallen snow fell gracefully over his eyes... the way he shifted those slim hips... it just took his breath away from him. Aizen let his eyes wander down Gin's face, working downwards from his eyes and down his neck and shoulders, resting there on his collarbones. His mind beginning to toy with the somewhat-familiar thought of gently nipping the skin there – little knowing that Gin's collarbones were the spots he liked to gently nip and sink his teeth into before he lost his memory.

His eyes traced up Gin's slender body and up onto his shoulders, with his hands maintaining their grip on Gin's hip bones as if guiding Gin's body into place. It was odd, how he loved Orihime, but felt physically drawn to Gin. He wasn't in love with him, but at the same time Aizen could hardly resist him. He wanted to resist, oh dear gods he wanted to... but every time he tried something just pulled him back. He knew Gin wanted to make love with him, but Aizen wasn't sure if he really _could _love Gin. Of course, they were having sex, but... to him they were not making love. The sex he was having with Gin was completely different from the sex he had with Orihime. With her it was more soft and gentle – more emotional. More... meaningful. But with Gin, it was rough and wild and intense – more focused on the physical pleasures. Of course, both Gin and Orihime were very satisfying lovers, but with Orihime he felt something that he never could with Gin. Something that went back to even before his memory loss.

"Don't you remember?" Gin asked him, pulling him out of his reverie. A touch of uncertainty in his voice as he spoke to Aizen again. Still breathing slowly and heavily as he looked at him, the smile gone from his features.

"How can you not... remember?"

"I... I don't know." Aizen panted, "I... my body remembers... this... but-"

Aizen made another involuntary noise – something that sounded something like a whimper. Gin tensed around him and Aizen bucked his hips, his body acting upon its own pleasured impulses, almost pushing him over the edge. But despite that, he tried to maintain his composure. Even though right now there wasn't really much composure left - that had already taken leave of him, along with his senses and control over his thoughts and actions. The pleasure was just too intense for him to retain any sense of control.

"But what?" Gin asked, feigning innocence as he spoke, clenching around his lover to make him utterly incapable of forming a complete sentence. "Don't you like it?"

"No... it's not that, I just... ah!"

Aizen's breath hitched as another wave of pleasure crashed over him, taking away his ability to speak. Gin just laughed. Although Aizen didn't love Gin the way he was in love with Orihime, he could hardly deny that this felt good. Not that he could have tried to anyway, not with Gin riding him the way he was.

But that was all it was. Just sex. Pleasurable yes, but not making love. He knew Gin wanted to make love with him – that was pretty obvious. But in reality, Aizen only wanted to make love to Orihime.

Because from her, he got something else that he wasn't getting from Gin. Even before... even before he lost his memory he had felt something for Orihime that was different from his feelings for Gin. Even before he lost his memory she had intrigued him and enchanted him in ways Gin never did. He had fallen for her quite hard. Although in quite a different way. Maybe in another lifetime he could have feelings for Gin... maybe even love him... but in this lifetime Aizen certainly didn't think he could.

"You just... what?" Gin asked him, innocently. "what can possibly be distracting you from this?"

Aizen couldn't help but smile a little at his predicament. Really, this scenario would have seemed absolutely ridiculous if it were not actually happening.

"The fact that this is _wrong..._" Aizen answered him, still breathing harshly. "that this isn't... this isn't..."

Gin's eyes met his again, and Aizen's voice died off.

"So what if this is wrong..." Gin breathed, still looking affectionately at him, giving his lover a good long look at his blood coloured eyes. "it doesn't matter how wrong it is... it was always wrong..."

"Always?" Aizen asked him, his thoughts now more uncertain than ever as Gin smiled and caressed his face with his hand.

"Yes." Gin whispered. "Always."

Speech then failed him altogether. All he could focus on then wereGin's fingers roaming about him. Touching, feeling, exciting his body and pleasing all of his senses at once.

Gin's lips collided with his own, and that was it, he was gone. Gin was suddenly all lips and tongue. Lips and tongue and hands and hips. With Aizen getting caught up in it all.

It was simply too much.

His only escape was to think about Orihime. Push his mind to focus on her, imagine it was her doing this to him... very soon finding himself wanting to say her name. Of course, he didn't say it, and he had to fight very hard to not call out her name while Gin was currently having his way with him. He didn't call her name, but still, it rose up to his lips, right up to the very tip of his tongue as pleasure devoured him, the past and present colliding all about him. And his body responding without him even knowing the reason why.

When Gin finally broke the kiss, they remained close. So close in fact that their noses were almost touching.

"Do..." Gin breathed quietly, making sure Aizen's were the only ears to ever hear him. "do you want me?"

Aizen's breaths were heavy. His mind was hazy. And he was pretty sure he was out of his fucking mind. But still, right then, despite the protests of both logic and reason, there was no other word but 'yes.'

"Then," Gin said, jerking his hips forward to draw out more moans, smiling seductively. "you can do whatever you want to me."

Gin smiled at his own words. At how he was making it seem like Aizen was in control of this, like he was dominating this when really it was Gin who was in complete command. Riding him relentlessly, enjoying the view and revelling in what it felt like to be on top for once. Taking a few moments to savour the beautiful sight before him before deciding to finally push Aizen over the edge and into sweet oblivion with him.

"Mmm... more." Aizen muttered, stuck somewhere in between madness and delirium. "m- more... G-Gin... p-please, ugh... more..."

Gin's smile widened.

"More?" he said slyly, unable to suppress a little laugh. Aizen never usually begged, usually it was him doing all the begging. "Well, if you insist..."

Gin threw his head back and moaned hard, jerking his hips and riding Aizen over the edge and then some. Pants, moans, and heavy breathing filled the air, and Aizen's world moved. Gin had enticed him in, like a fish to water, and now there was no going back.

The tables had suddenly turned without him noticing, and Gin had very, very quickly taken advantage of his lapse in concentration. The world had moved. The chessboard had been flipped around, and now the roles had been completely reversed. The illusionist had become the illusioned, and Gin had somehow crafted his very own illusion and pulled him into it using nothing but seductive words and intimate touches. It was amazing, if not completely mad.

And if he were in his right mind right now, and if this were happening to anyone else but himself, Aizen would have been proud of Gin's manipulative ability.

But it wasn't. And it was him who was trapped within the confines of Gin's little illusion. Trying to think about Orihime while Gin tried to force him to remember things that, as far as Aizen was concerned, had never actually happened between them.

After all, to him it was just an illusion. Not real. But as he already knew, illusions were powerful things. Things that seemed so real when you were actually in them...

Aizen groaned. He tried to convince himself that it was all just an illusion, that it wasn't real... but Gin wasn't going to let this illusion go without a fight. And Aizen soon realised he was fighting a pointless fight.

"Close..." he said, still panting heavily. Realising that the edge was long gone and he had long since been ridden over it. 'Close' was the only word he could even speak right now.

"Then, just come..." Gin breathed quietly to him again, "just come inside me."

"I... I just..."

Gin felt Aizen shudder, and he swore he could have seen a brief recognition in his lover's eyes. Even if just for a second. And Gin swore then that he would make him remember that they were made for each other. And all that they were to one another. He would make him remember. He would make him.

_He would make him... _

They had been apart for so long... and Gin had ached for it. But he knew that ache would always fade away when they made love. Always. Nothing was going to be different now. Gin always saw the beauty underneath Aizen's mask. Gin always knew the true Aizen. And he knew that if he could just take off his masks now, then he would have that Aizen back again, he just knew it.

If only he could make him remember...

"Do you remember the last time I rode you like this?" Gin asked him, his voice full of seduction as he slowly let his hands wander back onto Aizen's neck and rest there, still quite breathless. "You may not, but I do..."

Gin smiled softly at him, his voice suddenly becoming more dreamlike as he spoke, as if he were telling a story.

"We were under the moon," he continued, "It was summer. We were on our own, outside... far away from everything... we lost all sense of shame..."

Gin jerked his hips forward again and moaned, making Aizen gasp and shudder again. Aizen tried to look away, to avert his eyes, but Gin's slender fingers gently cupped his face and lifted his chin so he could look at him. So their eyes could meet.

"Don't you remember, Aizen-sama? The grass... the trees. You took me under the moon. I took you inside me, just like this... and then, I rode you. The view was spectacular when you called my name at your moment of pleasure. When you showed me what it was like to stand on top of the world..."

Gin gave one final jerk of his hips, and Aizen met oblivion. With one last shudder, he emptied out into Gin, now completely and utterly breathless. Gin came shortly after, moaning out his climax, barely able to catch his breath again.

"Don't you remember?" Gin whispered, panting heavily as his body began to calm and his heartbeat slowed.

Aizen could find no words to say to answer him. He could only look back into Gin's eyes, as if he would find the answer there. At some point in time Gin had already splattered his release over his body, but he didn't care. He was just trapped. Stuck in this weird and wonderful illusion that had made his entire world shift.

"We were lovers, Sousuke."

They looked into each other's eyes for some time, there in the silence. With Gin hoping that the look on Aizen's face was one of recognition and not something else. And Aizen trying to put all of the broken pieces back together in his head, trying to decipher whether this was reality as Gin had said or simply just an illusion. The both of them completely oblivious to the soft footsteps echoing down the corridor just on the other side of the door as they remained perfectly still, with their breathing slowly calming as the footsteps neared the door.

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*blushes, dies* God i got so carried away with this one. But hands down though, this is my favourite chapter. I think out of all 75+ chapters... this is definitely my fave. Well, i love it if nobody else does. Especially the bit where Gin talks about the past... i'm not even going to say why. Ahh~ when i write that part in the backstory i'm gonna have so much fun...

I'm so glad all my insiders are all for the AiGin. I don't know what i would do otherwise. But Skiggle summarised it perfectly: "THOLN without the AiGin wouldn't exist, because then they wouldn't want a kid, and then they would never have Orihime being used to be a mom.". If i ever need an excuse for the AiGin, that is the one i will use ^^

anyway. Much love to Zerolr for all her help with the brainstorming that i needed – i couldn't have set out these chapters without her. And also and for suggesting the twist with Aizen wanting to say Orihime's name during the sex. It was genius. But sadly not my genius. And Skiggy too for all the gushing.

I know it was easy to compose. And that the words flowed pretty much nonstop, but it was still a big challenge though, so... do be gentle with me if you comment. Both parts 1 and 2 of this were not without their many difficulties.

And on that note, This was pretty much just setup... so i will leave you to speculate.


	49. He's a maneater, honey

Quick update somewhere in between virus scans and working on originals. This story won't leave me alone.

Now, I don't know who sits where on pairings and who wants what to happen etc etc, (aside from the insiders who got that fecking monster of a word document full of all my notes and outlines) but all i know is that i cannot make any promises for anything, pairing wise. The CherryxTsuku fanservice is a given (because in my world it is canon), but for all the other pairings – i can't really say.

I'm still working out what exactly to do with the AiGin, i have a vague plan, but it's tough working out all the little details. All i know is that it will end and it might not be pretty when it does. I'm so happy i put the prologue in though, its made so much difference. And anything that increases my love of a story is always a plus.

Anyway, enough of my uleless prattle. My Scattered author-braindump is at the end. Just enjoy the chapter and devour it like the vultures you are~

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_note: this chapter occurs at the same time as ch47, but the chapters are still in chronological order. It just jumps to elsewhere in the story-verse for a moment.  
_

**Chapter 48: He's a maneater, honey **

Orihime walked calmly back down the corridor, quietly trying to sort out all the jumbled thoughts bouncing about in her head. Loli was walking a little distance behind her, muttering to herself quietly, although Orihime couldn't exactly catch any of what she was saying. But she thought nothing of it and decided to set her mind to figuring out what had just happened between her and Aizen earlier. Smiling happily as she caught sight of both Cherry and Tsuku scampering past her down the hallway happily yipping and wagging their tails, letting the two white foxes distract her a little before she returned to her thoughts.

"_What on earth just happened?" _she asked herself._ "Didn't Loli-san say that Aizen-sama wanted to talk to me? If he did, then why did he act as if seeing me was a surprise?"_

Orihime slowed down her walk a little, and gently caressed the little swell of her stomach, smiling softly as she thought of the child she was carrying. _Aizen-sama's _child.

"_Oh well, it's probably nothing." _she thought, _"I'm sure Aizen-sama was just a little distracted, that's all. Especially with the news about our baby and all..."_

She sighed contendedly to herself, still smiling softly and running her hand over her lower stomach. This was the first time she had actually though of the child she was carrying as both hers _and_ Aizen's, and if she were honest, it was a little surreal to her. A little surreal, perhaps, but not at all bad. In fact, it was natural to think of her child this way. Aizen _was _the child's father, after all.

Well, at least, she hoped he was anyway. There was always that small possibility that she was actually carrying Ulquiorra's baby instead... and what disaster that would cause...

But she shook her head, pushing that thought from her mind. No, she couldn't entertain that possibility. Her child was going to be raised by her and Aizen-sama, so therefore it was Aizen-sama's baby.

Speaking of Aizen-sama, why had he called for her just a moment ago if there was no real reason? Or better yet, why did Loli _say_ he had summoned her? That part made no sense. Was this some kind of trick? Or a practical joke even? Just what was going on here? She thought she better ask Loli, who was currently stomping along behind her, but when she turned around to voice her confusion she was only met with pure hostility from the scantily clothed arrancar walking just a short distance behind her.

"Loli-san," she asked, with only a slight whimper in her voice. "Why didn't Aizen-sama want to talk to me?"

Loli just scowled, looking back at Orihime with an indescribable expression on her face.

"It didn't work." she muttered, cursing both heaven and hell for her horrible sense of timing, still quite outraged that her plan to uncover the truth to Orihime had failed in the most spectacular fashion. Not even registering that Orihime had called out her name again to try and get an answer to her question.

"Loli-san?"

Loli snapped her head towards Orihime, her lips curling into a snarl at her in response, disgusted that this pathetic human was addressing her – a superior being - as an equal.

"Ugh, you really _are_ an idiot you know that!" she snarled, startling the expectant mother before her and making her jump slightly, "That's because he's busy with Gin! Don't you see it? Don't you see that you aren't his top priority? Don't you see that there's something _very wrong here?"_

"But... why?" Orihime answered, still quite confused. She really had no idea what Loli was even talking about. What did she mean when she said _'busy with Gin'_? What did that even mean? She just didn't understand...

"But..." Orihime started again, not even quite sure of what to say to Loli's comments. "What's wrong? How is something wrong? Aizen-sama and Ichimaru-sama were just talking. There's nothing wrong."

Loli just started at her, clenching her fists in her anger. Oh yes, she was angry. Angry at Orihime for replacing her, angry at her own failure as a woman and her failure to bear children, and angry at her own inadequacy as a lover and not being able to satisfy Aizen-sama. In fact she was just angry at the whole damn world at this point.

"Ha! 'just talking..." Loli spat, not even trying to hide how much she despised Aizen and Gin even so much as being in the same room together.

"Why don't you go back there and see if they're _just talking_?" Loli said, suddenly full of unnerving calm. "Then you'll see what's wrong. Then you'll see they're doing a lot more than _just talking._"

This just confused Orihime all the more. What the hell was Loli even talking about? This just made no sense to her at all. As far as Orihime was concerned, nothing was wrong and Aizen-sama was happy that she was going to have his child. In fact, everything was going so well with them. How could there possibly be anything wrong?

"But, Loli-san..." Orihime said quietly, her voice trailing off as she tried to find the words while the arrancar looked at her. Loli's eyes seemed to bore through Orihime, and she couldn't help but shiver under the arrancar's gaze.

She stood there for what felt like ages, looking at Loli, while Loli looked back at her. The arrancar was determined to prove something was apparently 'wrong', but she wasn't saying exactly _what _was wrong, so Orihime didn't know what to think. After all, Loli could very well be lying. And given her track record for mischief and general dislike of Orihime, it was very possible that she was just lying to stir up trouble and drive her away from Aizen-sama.

"Aizen-sama doesn't love you." Loli growled at her, determined to prove her point. Keeping her eyes fixated upon Orihime's until Menoli's voice calling her name reached her ears. And Loli then swung around, turning to meet her sister who was running towards her.

"What do you want, Menoli?" she asked, her voice full of a sudden calm as Menoli ran, panting as she skidded to a stop beside her. Whispering something into Loli's ear quietly, while Loli stood there silently, listening to her words.

"I saw..." Menoli panted, still catching her breath as she bent over, trying to get the breath back into her lungs. Loli's eyes just widened as she looked at her. "I saw everything."

"What?" she gasped, glancing quickly back at Orihime before looking back at her sister again.

"Are you sure?" Loli asked again, wanting desperately to make sure of the facts before she went ahead and made things worse for herself. Because it was possible that Aizen-sama might still be angry with her...

"It's true..." Menoli answered, standing up straight again now that she had caught her breath back. "I saw it... I saw it with my own eyes."

Loli's lips then curled into a very Cheshire cat like smile.

"Oh," she said, grinning widely to herself. "this is good."

"Wh- what?" Orihime stammered, almost afraid to ask why Loli was suddenly smiling so widely. "What's good?"

"Oh, just the fact that there's evidence to prove my point." Loli said happily, ignoring Orihime's protests. "That Aizen-sama doesn't love you and that he's just using you to get what he wants, like he does with _everybody_. Because it's not just you, ya know. He uses other people too. He's just a bastard."

Orihime felt her stomach tighten. Her Aizen-sama was certainly _not_ a bastard, and he was just not the sort of person who would use people... was he? No, she couldn't think like that, Aizen had always been so gentle and kind to her, so it wasn't likely that he would be lying and deceiving her. Or worse, just using her. It just wasn't him.

"But... that's not true!" She cried, holding her hands protectively over her stomach. "Aizen-sama does love me!"

Loli just tilted her head, letting the smile fall from her face in a show of false sympathy.

"Aww, poor little princess." she said, rolling the words of her tongue in a mocking tone as she shook her head slowly. "What _lies _he has told you..."

Orihime clenched her teeth. _"How dare she!"_ Orihime's mind screamed, _"how dare she tell me these lies about Aizen-sama!"_ Orihime knew she had to stand her ground. She wasn't about to let this girl tell her what was truth and what was lies Orihime knew what Aizen was like, and she wasn't going to let this arrancar feed lies to her.

"You're wrong." she said, still trying to keep her calm composure. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're wrong about me and Aizen-sama. He loves me, and I love him."

"He doesn't." Loli said quietly. "He doesn't love you. You know, I was just like you, once. I thought he loved me too... But I was wrong, just like you. I thought he loved me, but in the end... in the end, it all turned out to be a lie."

Orihime just stared back at her, a blank expression on her face as Loli's words echoed around her head.

"_I was just like you, once. I thought he loved me too..." _

"In fact," Loli continued, bringing her out of her train of thought. "I don't think you even love him. I mean, you really don't know anything about him..."

"Th- that's not true!" Orihime blurted out, not even stopping to think. But Loli just laughed at her.

"Oh really?" she asked, tilting her head slightly, "if you know him like you say you do... then what's his favourite colour?"

Orihime hesitated. Actually, she hadn't even asked him what his favourite colour was. She hadn't even asked him anything about himself. She hadn't even thought to. Everything between them had all happened so quickly she hadn't even thought to actually talk to him...

"I... I..." Orihime stammered, trying to force herself to say something. Anything. But she couldn't. She really could have just said any colour, but words just seemed to fail her, much to Loli's amusement.

"How can you say you love him if you don't even know his favourite colour, princess?" she cackled at Orihime, not even trying to tone down her ridicule. "I bet you don't even know his favourite kind of tea either. You know, that stuff he drinks every day of the week..."

Orihime snarled quietly. But deep down, she knew that Loli was right. She was wrong about Aizen not loving her, but she was right about everything else; about Orihime not really knowing much about the man who fathered her baby. But then again, that was something that was easily remedied.

"You don't know him, princess," Loli continued, still in her matter of fact way, still showing little to no regard for any of Orihime's thoughts at this point. "If you really knew him, then you wouldn't love him. I can promise you that. You think that it's just you who shares his bed, but you're wrong."

"What..." Orihime started, her sudden boldness failing her. "what are you saying? Aizen-sama would never..."

Loli just cackled again, throwing her head back and laughing long and hard. This... this was just priceless. Could this little human girl _really _be this stupid and blind? Could she really just be a naïve little girl? Just what did Aizen-sama even _see _ in her anyway? But Loli supposed he just wanted a good _fuck _and functioning reproductive organs, so he would overlook her obvious stupidity. Aizen was just that sort of selfish man. But nevermind, she would fix that. She would fix it so that Orihime saw Aizen for the bastard he really was, and make sure that he would never have access to the child inside her ever again. Because if Orihime saw what a lying, cheating, manipulative bastard he was, then she would want nothing more to do with him. And all of his careful planning would lie in ruins. It was perfect.

"Do I have to spell it our for you, princess?" Loli carried on, "He's fucking Gin. You're just his little bit on the side, just like I used to be!"

Loli snarled, gently lowering her voice again as she cast her eyes to the floor. For no matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise, it still hurt her to know that even though she loved him, Aizen had thought of her as nothing more than a dispensable toy. A plaything with a uterus and essge to fertilise.

Just someone to make a baby with instead of someone to love.

It was disgusting.

But she would get back at him for using her. She would prove to this naïve little girl that Aizen was a bastard. She would prove it.

"He doesn't love you." she said, although somewhat sadly. "He never loved you. And when he's gotten what he wants from you, he'll drop you too... just like me."

"But, you're wrong." Orihime said, steadily reforming the resolve she'd had earlier. Aizen-sama had already told her he loved her, and he had given her no reason to doubt that. It was obvious that Loli was just here to stir up trouble between them, that was all Loli was trying to do.

"Just leave me alone and stop telling lies to me, you're wrong about Aizen-sama and you're wrong about me."

Loli just smiled and shook her head wearily, smiling a half broken smile and laughing a half hearted laugh, wondering why on earth this girl still refused to believe anything she said.

"If you really want proof that I'm right..." she said quietly, not even looking at Orihime anymore as she spoke, "if you really, _really _want to prove that I'm wrong... then go back there and see for yourself. God knows you won't believe me until you do, princess. God knows you'll only believe when you see."

Orihime thought about just walking away. She thought that things would have been fine if she did walk away. But Loli's words kept bouncing about in her head, tormenting her, stopping her from walking away and forgetting it. There was just something about the way she said them, like she knew everything, that brought to life a little nagging doubt lingering in the back of Orihime's mind. What if Aizen didn't love her? What if Loli was telling her the truth after all? What if Aizen _really did _plan to drop her once the baby was born?

"_He doesn't love you." _she'd said, _"He never loved you." _

Could that really be true?

No, it couldn't. It couldn't be true.

"Fine." she said, wanting nothing more than to prove Loli wrong. "I'll go there and ask him."

And with that, Orihime pushed past the two arrancar women and paced off down the corridor back in the direction she'd come from. With both Loli and Menoli running after her.

She knew she should have walked away. She knew she should probably have just walked away and ignored the whole thing. But Loli's words had gotten to her, and Orihime was determined to prove that there was nothing wrong. She wants to prove to herself - and to Loli - that nothing was wrong and that Loli was lying to her. Hoping to god that the arrancar was really wrong as she started off on the long walk back to Aizen-sama.

* * *

This is quite possibly the most obvious setup in the world – or at least in the whole of this story – but it was fun to write.

Loli interests me for various reasons. I like this vendetta she has against Aizen, and also her resentment of Orihime for replacing her, and at herself for failing to conceive children. She sees herself as a failure as a woman for being barren, and her view of Aizen (and probably all men in general) is very coloured, so its interesting to write a character like hers.

I love poking and probing in the characters heads, and i like to know them, so i an put their perspective into things. Loli and her interactions with Orihime, who seems to her quite naïve, were a challenge for that very reason, but i think it worked.

My favourite line of hers though has to be this "How can you say you love him if you don't even know his favourite colour, princess?" because as much of a bitch she is to Orihime in this chapter, i like to think she has a point.

Anyway, the next chapters will come as and when. I'm not quite happy with them yet. Reviews are welcome as always, encouragement is always nice, but tis optional. I'll just try to keep things entertaining either way.


	50. Won't you remember me? III

Finally, part 3 of this little arc... thing_._ Progress is being made.

This scene was written on a sudden inspiration, so it didn't turn out how i first imagined it would. But when i get a sudden inspiration like this, the results are usually better when i just run with it. So i ran with it. Surprisingly I like the results, as sappy as i think the results are.

Anyway, much love to my dear friend Zerolr for letting me borrow her "to lose yourself in your love..." quote for this scene - it is awesome, she knows I love it, I've always wanted to use it somewhere.  
Go read her works if you have time. 'The Art of Manipulation' is my long standing favourite of hers; I recommend that one.

But for now, just enjoy the update. I'm still working out the mechanics of the next three instalments, so hopefully they should be up soon too. It's just a lot to work out and its all so complicated.

* * *

**Chapter 49: Won't you remember me? III**

Gin looked intently into Aizen's eyes, still hoping that he would remember. Still hoping that he would remember something, _anything _of their time together before it was too late and Aizen wanted nothing more to do with him. But it just didn't seem to be happening. Aizen just didn't seem to be able to place him in his memory. Despite all Gin's 'convincing', Aizen just didn't remember him at all. And that hurt Gin more than anything. That was what cut the deepest; that Aizen had just forgotten him completely, leaving Gin to feel like the many decades they shared together had been nothing more than a dream. A dream that would fade away like the mist and the clouds with the coming of sunrise.

Aizen looked at him in pure bewilderment. "We were... lovers?" he asked. His eyes betrayed his uncertainty, but somewhere in there Gin could see that his mind was working the words like a Rubiks cube, trying to dissemble all his conflicting thoughts, just like he would with a phyical version of one of those cubes. Putting his thoughts together like he would put all of the same colours on each side and slot everything into place on the colourful cube. Trying to remember...

"Yes." Gin said softly, his nose gently brushing against Aizen's "We were. We... are..."

Gin looked at him, his eyes opened to their full extent to give Aizen a full view of his deep red eyes, the eyes that no other man but Aizen had seen. Gin kept them open for him, hoping that seeing his eyes again would trigger something in his memory. Gin was always told that love came in through the eyes, so maybe if he kept his eyes open, then it would enter Aizen's eyes and Aizen would remember that love.

"I don't... quite..." Aizen murmured, his voice dying off as Gin's hand ghosted across his neck and onto his face again. "I don't quite understand or... remember you. I don't..."

Gin smiled at him softly, still softly stroking his lover's cheek with his fingertips as he looked deeply into Aizen's eyes, their bodies still connected and Gin still straddling him as he was before.

"Try?" he said, although in more of a pleading tone only betraying his desperation. "Just... try for me. Try to remember for me... please, at least _try_..."

Aizen furrowed his eyebrows and gazed at Gin intently, trying to put back the pieces of his missing memories. It wasn't like he didn't want to remember anything, after all, it was quite a big chunk of his life he had gone and forgotten – because one just doesn't forget a large part of their life and not notice anything. And even Aizen knew that bits were missing in his recollection of his past, even if he didn't say anything about it. So he did want to remember at least something, even if just to soothe his own selfish anxieties at having another one of his amnesiac episodes. So he looked at Gin and he tried to remember. Even if it turned out to be fruitless, he decided to try, and listen on as Gin talked more about the past – about _their _past.

"Ya mean the world to me, ya know." Gin whispered to him quietly, while his mind worked the words, "An' we make love... every night an' every mornin' jus' when the sun comes up..."

He paused, breathing steadily. Trying to keep himself from either crying or clinging onto Aizen for dear life. Trying so hard to keep himself under control and just gently coax his lover's mind to remember him and fill in the missing pieces without frightening him away again. Only able to hope that their time together would come back to him.

"I were th' the moon of your life. You... you said tha' ta me..." Gin said, his composure slowly and steadily breaking down along with his ability to articulate his thoughts without his street-rat accent coming back to him. The accent proving that his protective barriers were coming back up again, as if he were bracing himself for the hurt to come while he practically _begged _Aizen to remember him. His voice slowly cracking up as he pleaded with his beloved to remember and return to him.

"Remember me..." Gin said, his voice slowly quieting as gentle sobs clawed their way to the surface, making his feelings and his desperateness all the more obvious. "please..."

Gin choked back a quiet sob, fighting the flood of emotions coursing their way through him. Aizen's eyes still had not changed towards him; they were still so full of confusion, despite all his pleas.

"We've been through so much t'gether..." Gin whispered, his composure now threatening to break apart as he spoke, uncertain of whether his words were getting through to Aizen at all. "You looked into my eyes... an' I said you were my sun and stars..." he continued, pausing to compose his thoughts as he pleaded with the man he loved to remember their life together. Unbelievably, there had been a time when Gin would have rejected his own feelings simply because they were for another man... but now things were different, he simply refused to let this man go without a fight to the bitter end to try and keep him by his side.

"You can't..." he said, almost on the verge of tears now, "You can't forget... ya can't have forgotten meh. Ya have to remember fer me... please..."

Aizen's eyes never left Gin's, as his memory searched for all the supposedly missing pieces. He knew Gin was telling the truth, because otherwise he wouldn't be this emotional. Gin never cried in front of anyone unless he was suffering mentally... unless his heart was disrupted and he was utterly inconsolable... that much he remembered. That much he understood. But this... this intimacy they apparently shared... it just seemed to elude him. Because as much as he wanted to at least remember something - anything - nothing came to him. Nothing.

He tried though, he did actually try. Because he figured that just remembering _something_ would be better than nothing. But no, nothing was coming to him. Nothing. Nothing at all. He just couldn't quite remember Gin. He thought he had something, just a little trace of something, but he couldn't quite place Gin firmly in his memory. And despite his desires, he felt that he was doomed to live forever, not even remembering a big chunk of his life that had been so cruelly taken away from him by his Demon. A big chunk of his life that not even Gin's words could give back to him. Despite how much he tried.

Gin whimpered, absolutely distraught. His words were not getting through. Aizen was still just as confused as before and his eyes showed absolutely no sign of recognition. No matter how hard he tried, Aizen just did not seem to remember him. Gin could have cried. All the memories of their time together came flooding back to him, assaulting him like inspiration often assaults an artist at an inopportune moment, and it was all he could do to stop himself from crying. Gin could only look back into Aizen's eyes, eyes full of warring emotions, as his other hand cupped the other side of Aizen's face and neck, gently caressing his soft skin as he made one last attempt to make him remember.

"Please," Gin whispered passionately, simply overcome with emotion, so close to tears now at the thought of losing the one he loved forever.

"Come back to me, my sun and stars..." he whispered, "remember, an' come back to me..."

Aizen's eyes widened slightly, while Gin's words reverberated in his mind, calling to him.

"_Come back to me..."_

He listened to the words, but they didn't prompt any recollection or memory to come back to him. The images presenting themselves were still blurred, still hazy as they swirled about in his head, mixing thought with feeling. Mixing together to form this strange unearthly feeling he didn't think he could even feel. It was like love... but not quite love. It was just this strange attraction, not just of the body, but of the mind too – of the heart. It was a feeling that was very hard to decipher and even harder to articulate into words. A feeling that was even harder to make sense of. Of course, it was a form of love, but Aizen did not quite realise it. His mind was in too much dissent for him to dissemble any of his thoughts or feelings towards Gin right now, so he was only able to listen and feel and try to remember why Gin was saying such words to him, gazing even more intently into his eyes as he tried to make a connection.

"Please," Gin whispered to him again, hoping desperately that Aizen would remember him. "Please... come back to me. My Sun and Stars... please..."

Aizen remained still and silent, again Gin's words had struck him. Pulled to him like a siren song.

"_Come back to me..."_

Aizen just sat there, Gin still looking into his eyes. Still calling him his 'Sun and Stars'. Unable to realise that no matter how much he wanted it, Aizen couldn't place him, or even remember why he was being equated to the stars that lit up the night or the sun that gave light to the world. But Gin still persisted in calling to him this way...

"_My Sun and Stars..."_

Gin kept saying that, but what did it mean? They were such beautiful words, and Aizen was certain they meant something, but what? _What?_ And more than that, he was certain he had heard them before. The words sounded so familiar... but what did they mean?

They must mean something, because Aizen otherwise would have thought himself unworthy of such beautiful words. Not even Orihime spoke such words to him, much less called him her 'Sun and Stars'. If anything, he was more likely to call _her_ his 'Sun and Stars', because she was his light in this dark and desolate world. But that wasn't the point. And besides that, it was too much like something out of a romance novel rather than his own life. It was too much like a fairytale, and Aizen was clever enough to know by now that fairy tales were rather unrealistic depictions of real life.

But the more Gin spoke to him like this, in this confusing yet endearing way, the clearer the images in his head became. And he came that much closer to remembering his past. But were these dreams he was seeing? Memories? No, they felt too real to be dreams... illusions, maybe... but not mere dreams. No, memories... they must be memories... why else would they feel so real? Why else would he have given in to Gin's advances so easily and readily? Not even illusions were that powerful. Were they?

No, they had to be memories. Yes, they _were _memories. Hazy memories, but memories all the same. They were becoming clearer, but not clear enough for him to say 'yes, I remember.' and actually mean it. The images were not _that_ clear. Not just yet. They needed more time for that. Like photographs, they needed time to develop...

But when Aizen looked at Gin and saw so much love in his eyes, a sudden tranquillity came over him. It was as if peace had just descended and swallowed him whole. He didn't know why, but he just felt so at ease. Even though Gin was practically a stranger to him, he was completely calm. Just drifting like a boat unmoored somewhere in between illusion and memory, just him and Gin. Just him and this stranger, oblivious to the rest of the world.

Gin was about to cry. He was trying so hard... so hard to get Aizen to remember him, but it was all in vain. Aizen was trying so hard to make sense of it all but all of his efforts were fruitless and they both knew it. And it was hard for Gin to take. It was something that he just didn't want to accept.

He had tried everything. He tried sex, he tried telling him about the past... and dear god he even tried begging to see if that would work. But no, nothing. Gin had hoped for his lover's memory to come back to him in a sudden rush, but it looked like that wasn't going to happen. It looked like Aizen wasn't going to remember anything, and Gin's heart broke a little inside at the thought that he might lose him forever. And the thought of that was unbearable.

It was unbearable to think that he was going to be dropped and that Orihime was going to replace him. And she would replace him, he just knew. It wasn't fair. He and Aizen had decades together. Decades. Orihime only had him for a few months, not even a full year. So she had nothing on his time with Aizen. Nothing. But Gin wasn't going to let Aizen go without a good fight, that was for sure. In fact, he would make sure he fought to the bitter end so that at least then he could say that he tried everything before he gave in.

"How can you not remember?" Gin asked again, a quiet resolve forming in his uncertain voice.

"I _killed_ for you." he said, now getting more aggressive and desperate. "I _defected_ for you." he continued, still unwavering in his firm tone. "I abandoned my _life _for you and followed you to this godforsaken _wasteland_. One word from your mouth and I would even throw myself into the Uji river and _drown_ for you."

Gin's desperation faded, giving way to all of the bottled up hurt he had been carrying around for weeks, if not months. His composure completely shattered, and he lowered his head and closed his eyes as a whimper escaped him.

"Why do you not understand?" he asked. While Aizen just looked at him, both puzzled and moved by Gin's emotions and words.

"I understand..." Aizen answered him softly, "it's just... I don't remember loving you."

Aizen paused for a moment, before letting his hand wander up the small of Gin's back, with the strange feeling that his hand had done this before, although a lifetime ago. In a previous life...

"But..." he continued, running his fingertips up and down Gin's spine, "I feel like I've been here before... like I've... done this before..."

Gin slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes again, just as Aizen's hand touched his face. Now it was Gin's turn to be confused. Just how could Aizen say he not remember and suddenly act so tenderly towards him?

Gin's reasoning told him that it would be better to just leave now and cut his losses. Walk away now and spare himself the trauma and agony of going through this. But Aizen's tender gaze and his hands kept him there and removed all of his will to leave. But he couldn't have left even if he wanted to. Not while there was still a chance of Aizen remembering him... or at least remembering his feelings for him.

"S- Sousuke?" Gin asked quietly. Suddenly so unsure of everything he had ever known. His heart was currently residing in his mouth and he had to keep reminding himself to breathe, but his only thoughts were of the man before him and whether or not he would remember him. Aizen was trying to dissemble his own feelings and to Gin it was like standing on the edge of a knife, uncertain of which way he would fall.

Aizen silently drew closer and closer to him; their lips almost touching. Gin stared at Aizen with softly parted lips, uncertain of anything and everything at this point, just waiting for his lover's lips to capture his own. Because Gin knew that Aizen definitely wanted to. But Aizen only wanted to kiss him to see if he would feel something for Gin. To see if he could recover any little bit of his memory that had been so cruelly taken away by the hollow that had dragged him kicking and screaming into his twisted inner world. Whereas in contrast, Gin only wanted to kiss him to show love, like he had done for many decades now. Because after all, to lose yourself in your love was the most wonderful feeling, was it not? To get lost in heated passion with your love?

Aizen's hand moved onto the back of Gin's head, his fingers resting in between strands of his silver hair, and a moment later, their lips collided. Gin whimpered softly and parted his lips to give Aizen's tongue entrance to his mouth to let him explore. Tongues tentatively fought each other, with Gin letting Aizen hesitantly dominate the kiss. It was not breathtaking, and nor was it immensely passionate. It was slow, and it was slightly hesitant, but it was intense. Gin moaned softly as they kissed, letting his fingers tangle themselves into Aizen's thick dark hair, savouring the taste of Aizen's tongue before they broke away again and looked into each other's eyes. When they broke that kiss, everything about the world suddenly changed, and it was as if they were both transported back in time. But that little illusion didn't last for more than a few seconds, because when they regained their senses, a soft, quiet, feminine voice brought them crashing back to reality.

"Aizen-sama?"

That was when the illusion shattered. Orihime was standing there. In the doorway. Watching the entire scene. Absolutely speechless.

"Oh..." Gin panted, still straddling Aizen, turning his head to the side to look at her out of the corner of his eyes. Still panting heavily and his face completely flushed from before, just gaping at her. The illusion he created had broken. And Aizen suddenly came crashing back down to reality, hardly likely now to remember anything at all, the expression on his face a mixture of both horror and anger at having being caught in this awkward situation.

"Shit."


	51. His jar of hearts

Yup, double update. I'm spoiling you. I'm not sure everyone will like where this goes now, but i'm the writer and what i say goes. so whatever will be, will be. Hopefully some will still like it though.

Anyway, this. This one is inspired by Christina Perri's song 'jar of hearts', which is where the title of this chappie comes from. So, enjoy.

_Note: chapters 50 and 51 occur almost simultaneously in the storyline. Hence the slight foreshadowing here. Ch51 (the next one) covers the events just after Orihime left the room, but the rest of the chapters should be in chronological order after that. I didn't want to mash the two scenes up because it would take away from the story. And i don't really like scene jumps too much for big scenes._

* * *

**Chapter 50: His jar of hearts**

"Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry." Orihime stammered, her eyes wide, suddenly unsure of where to look or what to say. She's hoped that she was seeing things, that this was all a misunderstanding or that she was hallucinating, but the evidence spoke for itself.

"I'm... I'm interrupting." she continued, trying to keep her voice from faltering as she spoke. "I'm- I'm gonna go..."

And with that she turned and fled, pushing her way past Loli, who was lurking out of sight, as she went, leaving Aizen only able to call after her until she vanished from his line of vision.

"Orihime!" Aizen called after her, "Orihime, wait!"

But she didn't listen to him. She just ran.

She just tore her way down the corridors, running as fast as her legs would carry her. Tears stung her eyes and uncontrolled sobs escaped from her as she made her way back to her own room, away from Aizen-sama. With Loli running to catch up with her, straggling behind as she struggled for breath.

She didn't quite want to believe what she'd just seen. But they were there... they were naked... their lips had just touched... and the rest of it she didn't even want to imagine. She had seen it all _with her own eyes, _so she had to believe it. Orihime had always firmly believed that she should never believe something until she saw it with her own eyes, so she had to believe this. Despite how much she wanted it to be just a drug induced hallucination or one of Kyouga Suigetsu's illusions. But since she reasoned that surely Aizen couldn't be so cruel as to make an illusion of him and Gin together, she knew what she had just witnessed had to be true. And that she had just been used and tossed aside like a used toy. Like a tool that had served its purpose. Loli was right, he didn't love her, he was just using her to get what he wanted.

"_Yes,"_ she silently berated herself. _"Loli was right. Why didn't I listen to her? I feel so stupid." _

She sobbed again as she ran towards her little room. Why did she not see this coming? Why did she refuse to see that he didn't love her? Why did she not see that he loved Gin? _Why? _

She should have at least suspected something when she found them both in the same bed together that day. Even though they were both fully clothed, the sign was still there... just how could she have been so stupid? Just how could she have been so stupid and naïve?

Yes, she thought to herself. She was just a stupid, naïve little girl. Stupid for believing his words, gullible for believing he loved her like he said he did. And naïve enough to be hurt by his betrayal.

But no matter how much she chided and scolded herself for believing his lies, his betrayal still hurt, so when she got to her little room again, the only thing she could do was walk quietly into her en suite bathroom and lock the door. All she did after that was just sit down on the toilet seat and give herself up to tears, burying her face in her hands as she cried. After all, he'd said he had loved her, so just how could he have done this to her? How _could _he? Just how could he be so cruel?

She heard Loli call out to her as she banged on the door, having caught her breath again. "Hey, princess!" she called out, her tone no less mocking than before as she banged on the locked door. "I just told you the truth princess! You shouldn't be so upset!"

She banged on the door again. "Hey, are you listening to me?" she shouted again, completely oblivious to Ulquiorra walking into the room.

"What is going on in here?" he asked, stoically. His voice calm, but still stern enough to command attention, and, of course, respect. "What is with all the shouting and banging?"

"Ulquiorra-sama!" Loli gasped, turning abruptly to face him. Quickly putting up a facade of innocence. "I was just trying to talk to Orihime-chan."

"Well, there is no need for the shouting." Ulquiorra simply responded, cutting off any further protest from Loli as he set down the tea tray on the coffee table beside the bed and walked over towards the bathroom door, making Loli back away as he approached and knocked on the door lightly.

"Woman?" he called out, "are you alright in there?"

Loli just looked at him sheepishly, trying to defend her earlier actions of causing this to happen.

"I only just-" she began, but Ulquiorra cut her off, glaring at her sternly.

"You be quiet." he ordered, "You have caused enough trouble. I can guess very well what part you had in this."

Loli blanched and clamped her mouth shut. She wasn't about to argue with Ulquiorra, because he was so much stronger than her. No doubt he had the ability kill her, so because she valued her life – whatever pathetic life she had been reduced to after her affair with Aizen-sama ended – she backed down. She had done her job in showing Orihime the truth anyway, so her work was done here. Rubbing it in was really just for entertainment.

Ulquiorra knocked on the bathroom door again, trying to coax Orihime out. Even he knew it was no good to shut yourself up in a room when you had a problem, because it just deteriorated you. And he knew Orihime to be the sort of woman who could be destroyed by shutting herself off from the world and everyone in it, so he knew he had to do something to help her. Not to mention the fact that he did in fact care for her and didn't like to see her suffering this way; for he could hear her gentle sobs through the locked door.

"Orihime," he called again, hoping she wouldn't do anything stupid and harm herself. If she hurt herself he didn't know what he would do.

"Orihime, open the door." he called again, leaning against the door as he knocked it. "I just want to see if you are alright. Talk to me."

A moment of silence passed, a silence not even Loli dared to interrupt. Ulquiorra listened to the soft click of the bathroom door being unlocked, making him back away slightly out of the way. He then watched as the doorhandle turned with another soft click, and the door slowly opened. He then watched as Orihime stepped out, almost shyly. He could tell she had been crying. Her face was pale, and the soft skin on her cheeks were stained with tears that fell down her face. Her eyes were watering and looked sore from crying. And he could see that her hands were trembling as if she were in shock.

"Orihime..." he said quietly, suddenly finding it difficult to find words to say as she looked at him in her upset state.

"Ulqui... Ulquiorra..." she whispered, still sobbing quietly, trying to breathe and cry at the same time.

"What... what happened?" he asked, although he could easily guess at this point that Aizen-sama was the cause of her grief. Because he knew that Aizen was the only man with the power to break her this way. That he was the only man who could make her cry. He knew this because Orihime _never _cried. She was too strong for anyone else to make her cry. Not even Ulquiorra. But then again, Ulquiorra would never _want _make her cry. Never in a thousand years would he want to make her cry.

Orihime's lips trembled as she choked back another sob, finally giving herself up to more tears as she flung herself at him, burying her face in his chest and clutched onto him. He embraced her instinctively. With something akin to tenderness stirring inside his core, inside the beating organ inside him that the humans called a heart.

"Is it Aizen-sama?" he asked her quietly, and she silently nodded into his chest in response, merely confirming his suspicions. For he knew Aizen-sama had hurt her. He didn't know how, exactly, or what had happened... but he knew that now was not the time to ask her. Now, he decided, he would just comfort her. He could find out more details and offer his counsel later. But for now, all he could do was hold her.

"I thought so." he said, gentle stroking her hair as she buried her face further into his chest and wailed quietly.

"How could he do this to me?" she asked, sobbing into his chest as she held onto him. Ulquiorra just sighed wearily, not really knowing what to say to her.

"Because he can" he said. "Because he is like a boy with a jar of hearts, always wanting to put more hearts in his jar."

Orihime just held onto him tighter, working her arms around him as she whimpered, holding him close to her as she cried into him.

Loli just smirked defiantly, still revelling in her little victory of getting one over on both Orihime and Aizen-sama. Well, she thought to herself, it served him right for ditching her.

"You see," she said, not even hiding her amusement now. "the truth _hurts_, doesn't it?"

"Loli, just leave." Ulquiorra sighed, not really in the mood for dealing with her snide remarks or her sarcasm right now. "Leave now if you know what is good for you."

Loli just snorted at him. "Fine," she said, "I'll go! I know where I am not wanted."

And with that she turned on her heels and almost skipped towards the door, stopping to throw one last comment back at Orihime before she left.

"See, I told you so princess." she said happily, her voice full of scorn. Smiling to herself as she lingered in the doorway before Ulquiorra scolded her again.

"Loli, _leave._" he said again, a sudden anger welling up inside him at her animosity towards the woman he cared for. "Leave, or I will _force you_ to leave."

"Alright, alright..." Loli chirped again. "I'm going. Don't get your panties in a bunch Ulqui."

And then, she left them. Skipping off down the colourless corridors and singing to herself, leaving Ulquiorra to comfort Orihime in peace. He watched Loli leave, making sure that she was completely out of sight before he turned his attention to Orihime again, the anger welling up in his stomach gradually subsiding as he held onto her.

"Do not worry about her, onna." he said softly, still stroking his pale fingers through Orihime's hair as he spoke. Trying to be as comforting as he could. "she has no respect for anyone anymore."

"But..." Orihime sobbed, "But... she's right. She's right... it is the truth. Aizen-sama _is_ a bastard..."

Ulquiorra took in a deep breath, pressing her close to his body in the hope that it would calm her down while his free hand still affectionately stroked her head.

"Onna," he soothed again, "Do not listen to a word she says. She is just trying to hurt you more."

Ulquiorra tried his best to comfort her, feeling his anger giving way to the tenderness he had felt before. Which to him was a good thing, because before, when he felt that anger mount within him, he'd acted just like Aizen-sama would have done. And that frightened him. That frightened him more than anything; that he was acting like the one man he swore to himself he would never act like, despite all the fully founded excuses he had to act that way. No, he didn't want to be like that evil man... the man who hurt people. He didn't ever want to be like the man who'd hurt Orihime... he would swear to it.

"Shh, it's okay, onna..." he soothed, listening to her steadily quieting sobs and holding her close. They had not been this close in so long... so although Ulquiorra was holding her like this to comfort her as she cried over whatever damage Aizen had done, in a way, holding her close like this was comforting to him too. Her warmth and tenderness calmed him, and her compassion for him and her willingness to seek comfort in his arms had brought feelings to the surface that he had long ago forgotten and buried. Feelings that he didn't even think he could feel. So Ulquiorra wanted to hold onto her like this and never let go, even though he knew it was selfish. But he was here to comfort her, so he could push his own desires aside for just a few moments...

"Do you feel better?" he asked her, waiting until her tears had dried and her sobs had become nothing more than tiny little whimpers that escaped from her beautiful lips.

"Ye- yes." she answered, loosening her hold on Ulquiorra for a moment to wipe her eyes. "I feel... a bit better."

She tried to smile at him, and he let his expression soften into a smile. "That's good." he said softly. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"W- well," Orihime began, unsure of where to begin, thinking hard about how she would explain what she'd just seen to Ulquiorra. She was beginning to think that her thoughts were too jumbled up to explain anything, when a loud, painful, bonechilling scream – the scream of Ichimaru Gin – echoed into the room, which made Ulquiorra squeeze her tightly. She could feel his strong arms tremble around her, and a quick gasp escape his throat as he clutched onto her. His arms holding onto her for dear life as the dreadful sound bounced around his ears.

Ulquiorra went rigid. He trembled and winced as empathy roused in his stomach. He knew that scream. All of the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he felt a cold tongue lick up his spine, chilling him with fear and bringing back memories of times he would rather forget and lose to the ages. His breaths were ragged and shallow, and his grip on Orihime tightened. His ears rang with that awful sound and fear gripped him until the sound faded. It was Orihime's voice that eventually brought him out of his reverie and out of the past.

"Ul... Ulqui?" she called to him softly, "Ulqui, are you alright?"

Ulquiorra shook his head slightly, suddenly remembering where he was. Slowly calming down as he heard her voice calling him. He still held onto her, his trembling lessening as he calmed. Yes, she was here. He wasn't in that dark place now. He was safe.

"Yes," he said, "I am fine. It was just an awful sound."

Orihime sighed with relief. Ulquiorra had gone so rigid and clasped her so tightly it scared her. But what frightened her the most was that Ulquiorra had acted that way out of fear. She didn't know exactly what had happened to him, but she knew that he had been hurt in the past – hurt by Aizen-sama – and that it had affected him deeply. She sobbed again as she thought of what he'd said to her before, that Aizen-sama was rough with him, and now she could only think of how that man had hurt her and a man she cared for. And with those thoughts, she gave herself up to more tears.

"Don't cry, Orihime." Ulquiorra said as he embraced her again. "I do not like to see you cry."

"I'm sorry." she said quietly, trying to speak in between sobs and whimpers. "I just can't help it. Aizen-sama... Aizen-sama..."

She couldn't even finish her sentence. She couldn't even tell Ulquiorra why she was crying. She couldn't say that she felt used and betrayed or even that she felt awful for loving Aizen when he had been so cruel to Ulquiorra. She couldn't tell him a word of it. All she could do was cry.

Ulquiorra just held her close to him as she cried, comforting her. She was so emotionally fragile when it came to Aien-sama, this woman. And he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to protect her. He wanted to – dare he even say it – love her. But how could he even convey that to her? How could he say that he loved her? Just how could he, when it was clear that she loved another man? When she was crying over that man she loved?

He sighed wearily again. As much as he cared for Orihime, he knew that she belonged to Aizen-sama in any case – no matter how much he had hurt her. So all he could do was comfort her and be her shoulder to cry on as she cried out all of her tears for the man she loved. And help her pick up the broken pieces afterwards.


	52. Jeckyll and Mr Hyde I

**Right. Warnings, because I must: sexual abuse, lots of bad language, and just general sadism and mental distress throughout.**

_**Skip this chapter if so desired. or if you're squeamish - my scenes tend to be detailed. **_

Other than that, feel free to hate me or lynch me or throw things at me or gut me like a trout or whatever. But please keep the comments tasteful. This one was not pleasant for me to write. As such, please forgive any inconsistency.

* * *

**Chapter 51: Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde I**

"_Shit." _Aizen cursed to himself. He was absolutely mortified. Exactly what he didn't want to happen had just happened, and now he was caught out. And now his entire relationship – no, his whole _life_ with Orihime was in jeopardy.

"Orihime!" he cried after her as she ran from the room, "Orihime, wait!"

He tried to call after her again, to tell her that this was all just a misunderstanding, but she was having none of it, and she was already out of his sight. He suddenly turned his eyes towards Gin, who had wisely remained silent.

"This is all _your_ fault!" Aizen snarled at him, almost spitting out the words as his eyes narrowed, looking back into Gin's red ones. "She will hate me now and it is _all your fault!"_

Gin let a moment of silence pass before responding, quietly looking in disbelief at how Aizen's mood had drastically changed. He had been so gentle before. But now, he was just so angry. Outraged even.

"Bastard." Aizen spat, the anger now permeating his voice that only moments ago had been so gentle. "What did you do?"

"But, Aizen-sama I didn't-" Gin started off in protest, only to be cut off mid sentence by Aizen slapping him harshly across the face.

Gin was just shocked; in all of their decades together, Aizen had never raised a hand to him in this way. Never.

"Lies." Aizen said bitterly, trying hard to not let his anger overcome him again, but ultimately failing to surmount his sudden anger. Both his anger at Gin for seducing him and his anger at himself for being seduced. For he was angry at himself for letting this happen, and angry at Gin for causing this to happen. But most of all, he was just angry that Orihime saw everything – something that he suspected was Gin's doing.

"I don't want to hear it."

Gin just looked at him again, stunned into silence at the shock of being hit by someone he never thought would hit him. And for something that wasn't even his fault too. How was he supposed to know Orihime would come in? He had no idea.

"But, Aizen-sama..." he began, about to protest that Orihime's sudden entrance had absolutely nothing to do with him, but again he was interrupted by another slap across the face. This time one so hard that is forced his head to the side.

"Gin, I said I don't want to hear it." Aizen said again, forcing his voice to be calm in between steady breaths. "Just... Get off me."

Aizen felt Gin flinch. He wasn't exactly sure where all this anger was coming from, but all he knew was that he was angry. Hurt, guilty, betrayed. And angry. Just so fucking angry.

He was hurt because he had betrayed Orihime. He felt guilty for letting this happen. Betrayed by Gin who made this happen. And angry because he was about to lose everything and there would be nothing he could do about it. Nothing.

He tried to breathe.

He knew that slap was a mistake. He knew that getting angry was a mistake, even though he couldn't help it. Because now all he could hear was that cackling, maniacal voice in his head and feel this anger consume him. He'd panicked and let his temper get the better of him, and now he was just consumed by this anger. This bitterness. He was unstable enough as it was with his amnesia, so now this sudden outburst was making things a whole lot worse... for he could hear that voice again. The voice of his Demon.

And dear god, it was a frightening voice.

"_Yes," _the voice whispered to him. _"Y__es, draw off your anger. Use it. Embrace it. Cause hurt with it."_

"_No." _Aizen responded, mentally resisting the voice inside him. For he knew this voice all too well. _"No, I can't. I won't."_

"_Oh, but... you can. And... you will. And... you have done before." _the voice answered,_ "You listened to me... you... succumbed to me before, so what's different this time?"_

Aizen didn't answer back, but the voice just snickered quietly at him, reading his thoughts.

"_What, you think because you beat me I would be gone?" _it asked, mockingly. _"Did you honestly think that you were rid of me? Well you were wrong, **boy! **So very wrong... I will never leave you, never!"_

The voice laughed lightly at him again, the amusement in its tone merely mocking him more.

"_I told you," _the voice cackled. _"I told you I'd be back! That I would wait until your guard was lowest! When you thought you destroyed me!"_

Aizen tried to breathe; this voice, this presence in the back of his mind was suffocating him. Cutting off his free will, urging him to cause pain and hurt and do whatever it took to get all this anger out of his system. He felt like he was being held underwater and drowned. He kept his gaze steady, but although his eyes were open, they were not seeing. Aizen's mind was only focused on pushing back this feeling of encroaching darkness, so he did not care about the outside world - only his internal one. The world where this voice was coming from. All the while feeling like an ice cold hand was slowly tightening its grip around his heart while it skipped numerous beats.

A wave of nausea crashed over him, and darkness swam in his vision. He felt dizzy and sick and his head was pounding in his ears. He could even feel his heart thumping wildly, beating away like a lunatic, trying to escape from his chest. And as the seconds passed, he slowly began to feel like he was being forcibly held down with his head underwater, suffocating, while the rest of his body struggled violently as he slowly drowned, suffocated by the water.

Gin hesitantly turned his head back to face him, unsure of whether to even say anything or not. In fact, he didn't even want to look Aizen in the face, for fear of provoking him further. But he knew that he had to, even if he didn't think he could take the cold look in his lover's eyes. In the end Gin said nothing, but slowly and quietly turned his head to look at him again. And that was when Gin saw his eyes.

Dark.

Empty.

Hollow.

His eyes. They were changing. Changing colour, getting darker. Getting blacker. The darkness was slowly creeping into his chocolate coloured eyes, tainting them. The whites of his eyes were slowly turning black, blacker even than the sky of Huecco Mundo. And his beautifully coloured irises were slowly turning yellow like the dying leaves of the autumn trees.

Gin went rigid. This was it; The Shift. The shift from man to beast. From shinigami to monster. The shift that not even Aizen had any control over.

Fear gripped Gin from that moment. He knew that he should run, that he should get out now and run from him. But fear kept him still, paralysing him. Stopping him from moving.

"Ah... Aizen-sama?" Gin asked, hesitant to even speak. Hesitant even to breathe. But Aizen wasn't hearing him. Time just seemed to slow down for them, because normally this change from Man to Demon happened in a matter of seconds. Either that, or Aizen was trying to resist it, despite the futility of resisting such a change. Because if the hollow wanted to assert control, then it would. There was simply no arguing with it.

"_No..." _Aizen mentally pleaded with the voice. _"no... not this. Anything but this... not Gin, he is an innocent."_

But the voice just howled with laughter at him. _"You have no choice Sousuke! I always get what I want... you know that." _

"_No..." _Aizen resisted again, trying to calm his mind and subdue the sudden rage that had descended upon him. For the hollow fed on anger. It fed on hate, on sorrow, on hurt, on _guilt_. It fed on weakness.

"_I won't let you..."_

But the demonic voice's cackling just circled around his head, even louder than before.

"_Yes." _it said. Displaying all of its usual decadence. For it was gaining control now, and there was nothing at all anybody could do about it. Not even Aizen himself.

"_You will."_

And with that, despite all his resistance, Aizen was forced into unconsciousness. Wrestled down and forced down into the back of his mind, into his inner world. Only able to watch and observe as his body was used as a puppet for this bastard's sick amusement. With Gin caught in its clutches as the darkness consumed him.

"Aizen-sama?" Gin asked again, unsure whether he was trembling because of the fear or the cold. He suspected the former, but with fear comes a heightened awareness of the world around you, so it could have been both fear and the cold that made Gin shiver. But nonetheless, he shivered and waited for Aizen to say something. To do something. To hit him, or to scream at him. Just waiting for him to react in whatever way he would react.

But Aizen just smiled. That was the most frightening thing, the way he smiled.

"Aizen-sama isn't here anymore." he said, somewhat matter-of-factly, although with a little hint of amusement in his voice as he looked up at Gin again, grinning wickedly.

"It's just you and me here now."

Gin's eyes widened. "No." he gasped, terror filling his voice. "Dear gods, no..."

Aizen's grin widened as he lifted his head to look Gin fully in the face while Gin paled with fear.

"You..." he gaped, eyes still wide with pure terror as he looked into Aizen's black, empty, hollow-like eyes, simply unable to speak or move.

"Yes," Aizen responded, or rather, the hollow responded using Aizen's voice. "it is I."

Aizen smiled again as he let his eyes roam up and down Gin's exposed body approvingly, eyeing his lithe and vulnerable body and revelling in the knowledge that Gin was his to play with. Mentally noting that he was currently inside Gin at this point, unable to suppress the smile that spread across his face with this knowledge.

"Mmm... my my, did I interrupt something?"

Gin whimpered quietly. Oh god... he was in a predicament now, and he knew there was no way he could get out of this encounter unscathed. Every muscle in his body trembled at the thought of what pain was soon coming his way. When Aizen was like this, Gin knew that pain would soon result. Because this bastard liked causing pain to whoever he felt like. That was, if Aizen's harrowing anecdotes of the times he lost his mind to this sadist were anything to go by. Gin swallowed hard, still paralysed with fear. He was stuck here now, stuck in the grip of this monster. And there was no way out.

No way out...

Gin was brought out of his train of thought by Aizen's soft chuckle.

"From the looks of things," he said, keeping his voice soft and quiet... for now. "You ah, wasted no time _here." _

He smiled again, his voice tinted with amusement as Gin looked down at Aizen's come-splattered hips, where Gin had released on him only moments ago now. Gin had never noticed before, having been looking into his lover's eyes throughout the whole of their little session, before this psychopath took over Sousuke's body.

"I'm still surprised though," he continued, dragging out the moments before he sunk his teeth into his captured prey, allowing Gin to truly feel the dread that was undoubtedly filling his stomach. "you actually feel quite tight. I would have thought you'd be loose as fuck with how often he takes you."

He smiled. He smiled his dark and twisted smile again, and Gin could only swallow his fear and tremble. All of which didn't go unnoticed as 'Aizen' continued musing aloud, mainly for Gin's benefit of course. It wasn't every day he got an opportunity like this, and he wasn't about to waste a single second of it. No. He was going to savour it. Every single bloody second of it.

He was going to enjoy the screams of pain.

He was going to enjoy the begs for mercy.

He was going to enjoy the pleas for the pain to stop.

He wasn't going to be gentle with him. Oh no. He was going to be rough. Break Gin in good and proper.

"So tight around me..." he mused, his words rolling gently off his tongue. "It's like he hasn't properly broken you in yet. Maybe I should do that for him... break in his whore..."

Aizen paused, raking his black eyes up and down Gin's naked body, resting his gaze on his tender, pink nipples and chest appraisingly. Bucking his hips up gently so Gin whimpered quietly.

"Mmm yes," he continued, closing his eyes momentarily before eyeing Gin's pale flesh one last time before he set to fully devouring him.

"How i'm going to enjoy devouring you... especially since dear little Sousuke forbade me from touching you. Now this is going to be fun. And with Sousuke-sama's body too... I can think of no better torture for you."

Gin hesitated, the sudden fear rising in his guts and quickly spreading throughout the rest of his body as he remembered his lover's words.

"_Nobody touches my Gin."_

This creature really was sadistic.

"You're sick." Gin spat back at him. "You're a sadistic bastard ya know that?"

Aizen feigned a short gasp and put on his best hurt expression at Gin's words, trying his hardest not to smile. Of course, Gin was right. He was a sadistic bastard. He would even admit it.

"Ouch. The abuse I take..." Aizen mocked, forcing the words off his tongue. He really hated pretending to be insulted and weak, but for Gin he would act out his part in the show. It would be all the more amusing that way.

"Well, I may be a sadistic bastard... but at least I am not a slut who throws myself at men. At least I own up to my misgivings... unlike you. Dirty whore. No wonder Sousuke doesn't want you."

Gin froze. Heart in his mouth again. The hollow's words repeating themselves in his head.

"_Sousuke doesn't want you."_

Painful words. Very, very painful words. Words designed to hurt. Words designed to be planted like an idea in his brain. But what hurt Gin the most was knowing that those words were not lies. His lover really didn't want him. His lover had struck him across the face. His lover... his lover didn't love him.

"Aw, did I strike a nerve?" Aizen asked, his words dripping with a faux sweetness and sympathy as he raised a hand to gently caress Gin's face.

"Don't worry, I'll take _good_ care of you."

He bucked his hips again, slightly more violently this time, pushing himself further into Gin, causing him to yelp and almost scream out with the sudden pain.

"Ahh! You sick _fuck!_" Gin spat at him, pain running through his body. As he became the plaything of this fucking lunatic. This bastard. This fucking cunt.

Aizen's hand moved up and grabbed Gin's hair, pulling the hair roughly so Gin's face was close to his own. "I will do the talking." he snarled, although admittedly enjoying Gin's whimpers and cusses.

"No... no please..." Gin pleaded, knowing what was coming next. "Please don't hurt meh!"

But all his pleas were useless. Aizen jerked his hips upwards again and into Gin. Driving into him at such an angle to cause pain instead of pleasure. To cause hurt and tear his fragile body apart. His fingers yanked the hair on the back of Gin's head, while his other hand rested beside him. He smiled to himself, enjoying the tense clenching around him. Enjoying screwing Sousuke's little whore.

Gin yelped with the pain, loud whimpers escaping him with each harsh thrust into him. This hurt. His hair was being pulled, the sex was rough and painful, and the fact that it was Sousuke's body just put salt in the wounds. Like this sadistic demon had said, that alone was torture for him.

"Please... stop..." Gin whimpered, although his voice was just ignored. The torture just continued. And with one particularly harsh, rough bucking of hips, pain tore its way through Gin's entire body. It felt like he were being torn apart from the inside.

Gin screamed. He screamed a harrowing, bonechilling scream that echoed about and would chill the bones of whoever heard the sound. A couple more thrusts after that and Aizen emptied out into him, pulling Gin's hair hard as he came, enjoying Gin's last shudder before he relaxed, panting despite himself, into the marble chair. But not without one last wicked smile.

"Now," Aizen ordered again, having calmed his breathing and taken his pleasure. His voice nothing more than a low, demanding whisper. "get off me."

And Gin quietly obeyed him, shaking. Collapsing as his legs gave out under him as he tried to stand, while Aizen dressed himself and left. Only after he was gone could Gin finally cry.

* * *

Oh errm, what can I even say on this?

I think 'poor Gin' is an understatement. I winced a lot when I edited and proofed this one. So bonechilling. I swear I'm going to reference the crap out of that prologue though.

But before anyone stones me: I feel so terrible for Gin. I feel awful. Writing this one was not easy in the slightest.

It is the first time in a long while I've written abuse like this too, which doesn't help me any. So it took a while to get my head around switching between calling him Sousuke and Aizen, just to differentiate between the two of them - the soft compassionate Sousuke we know and love, and well... this bastard. It's like he's schizophrenic, he's got two separate personalities. Which is quite tough to write.

I did toy with Aizen being sane in this one, but I couldn't bring myself to make Sousuke be the one to hurt Gin. So I made his demon do it instead. My Aizen is too much of a softie to be that sadistic. And I want to keep it that way.

Anyway, you can like it or hate it, but just be constructive if you comment.


	53. Jeckyll and Mr Hyde II

_just a quick note to all who are still following this madness: _

from here onwards whatever is left of bleach canon that i haven't already destroyed in this fic will become severely distorted. Prepare for filler, backstory and definite OOC-ness coming your way. Oh, and not to mention the shameless referencing of Game of Thrones, Phantom etc.

Also, this is only ch52 out of a rough estimate of 100 – and possibly more if the story calls for it. I really do not know how or when it became this big. But I've planned it all out like a military operation. So hopefully it will be as interesting as it is long. So, if you like it, putting this on story alert is advised. Because I am not done here. I am not even close. My updates are sporadic, but i do update this.

Okay, moving swiftly onwards. Because this instalment is one of my favourites. And also one of the longest at 4,106 words.

Before we start - Much love to Marisa Serise for letting me borrow her "even the reverse side has a reverse side." concept in this. I loved working with it. Fingers crossed i haven't butchered it too badly though. I did take a lot of creative license with it...

Go read Marisa's works if you have time. She makes some good chessboards. My long standing favourite of hers is Moonbathing, so I'm rec-ing out that one. Go read it if you have time.

Anyway, enjoy the chappie. Just excuse the filthy language throughout. My usual scattered writer braindump is at the end.

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**Chapter 52: Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde II**

Aizen stormed off down the hallways, after slamming the door behind him, still seething with rage.

Oh yes, he was angry. He was angry for many reasons. He was angry at Gin for taking advantage of him, and angry at himself for letting it happen. He was angry that he let the dark part of him use his body as an instrument of evil again. But when he thought of that, guilt suddenly replaced the anger.

The damage that thing had caused! To Gin. _To Gin._ That bastard knew touching Gin was forbidden, he knew it!

"_Do not touch my second." _he had told him, because Gin was too valuable a piece to be broken - to be smashed against the rocks and destroyed. That much he knew. That much he remembered. "_You are never to touch my second." _

And yet the bastard had done it anyway.

He groaned, suddenly so very aggravated. Gods, what a mess this was. Aizen certainly didn't love the man, but Gin hadn't deserved _this!_

Aizen's conscience wailed. He would certainly never be forgiven for this in a thousand years. His stomach turned in his gut. How many more people he cared about would get hurt just because he couldn't control himself? Because he couldn't control his Demon. It would get Orihime next, he was sure of it. It would just love the idea of destroying him by picking off the ones he was closest to. _And his unborn child too. _

Aizen grit his teeth. He desperately wished he could get rid of it, that he could banish his Demon into the netherworld or the underworld or that black tunnel connecting the living world to the Soul Society, or _somewhere. _Just so he could limit the damage it was doing. Just so that he could be rid of it.

But he knew such an idea was pointless; that Demon was his antithesis, now and always. It was a part of him. It wasn't going to go away just because he ordered it to, or just because he willed it to. It would never leave him, not after he had welcomed it with open arms into his life - that was certain. They shared the same body, the same mind. They were one and the same, and yet, they were polar opposites. But essentially they were both one half of the same whole. They were both halves that couldn't exist without the other half. Like Jeckyll and Hyde.

After all, light cannot exist without darkness. Black cannot exist without white. Colour cannot exist without the shades of grey. Love cannot exist without hate. And good cannot exist without evil. And of course, life cannot exist without death. It was Yin and Yang, the unwritten law of balance. It was as it has always been taught. As long as there was one, there would always be the other. Without one, the other could not exist. For what was life without death, and black without white? What was the good Doctor Jeckyll without his evil counterpart, Mr. Hyde?

As it was once said, even the reverse side has a reverse side... an opposite, an antithesis. And just as love was the antithesis of hate, The Demon was just the antithesis of Aizen. His opposite. His equal. Something that could not exist without him. They were both connected, so that when one died, the other would die too. That was how it was, and the way it always would be. They were both part of the same conciousness; bound together by one life. It had been this way for as long as he could remember. And it was something that not even the laws of time and space could change.

He could sense it now – the hollow coming back to overtake him – because it fuelled off his anger and guilt and pain and suffering, but this time he wouldn't allow it. So Aizen clutched the sides of his head the threw himself against the walls, hitting his head. If he was not concious then it did not come to claim him. So he threw himself at the walls of the corridor in turn, smacking his head hard enough to make the world spin and for him to have a splitting headache and his conciousness begin to fade.

"_Get out of my head!"_ he cried, desperately banging his head against the white wall. Trying to silence its laughter. _"Get out of my fucking head!"_

Just one more smack against the wall and he would have passed out, but cold hands grabbed his shoulders and pinned him harshly with his back against the wall. And an even colder voice rasped in his ear shortly after.

"I cant let you do that." The voice said. "Don't even think about doing bodily harm to yourself to try and cage me, because it won't work. And, you know it won't work. I always get what I want. I always have my way in the end. You know that."

Aizen's lips curled into a snarl, as he realised who was speaking to him.

"Jacinto." he growled, addressing the Demon by his name. It was shocking, to see him physically appear in this world, because usually it was Aizen who was pulled into his inner world. But here he was, in his own world, face to face with his Demon. Feeling real fear for the fist time in what had been more than a century.

The hollow smiled at the mention of his name, laughing gently, his hands releasing Aizen's shoulders as he proceeded to take a few steps backwards so Aizen could take a good look at him. Using this chance to enjoy being in the world that was once his to rule.

"It's been a while since you used my name." he said, smiling candidly as he paced about Aizen, slowly. "Usually I'm referred to as '_that bastard'_ or your '_Demon'_ or the best one, '_that sadistic cunt who enjoys hurting people."_

He laughed again, and Aizen's eyes narrowed, following him as he slowly paced around him. This was the first time Aizen had actually seen him properly, the first time he had taken a good long look at the true form of the monster that resided within him. Aizen let his eyes wander up and down his frame. The Demon was tall, he saw, and muscular but with a lean frame. His skin was pale, just a shade darker than Gin's, and he would not be considered unattractive by anyone's standards. But in the right light, Aizen thought – in the moonlight - he would look for all the world like a dead man walking as his dark hair contrasted his light skin tone. There were similarities between them too. The thick, black hair Jacinto had sat atop his head in a style much like his own; messy and wild after many years of the night time winds running through it. Although unlike Aizen, the Demon made no attempts to sweep it away from his face, so it fell over his face and partially covered his eyes, highlighting cheekbones that were a touch more prominent, and slightly higher than Aizen's were. Adding to the sharpness – and some might even say, the attractiveness - of his features.

As he walked, Aizen saw that his shoulders were rough and angular, just like his frame, and his naturally untamed visage made him look wild and feral. He was clothed just the same as Aizen, and where the clothes hung loosely off his strong, muscled body, just past his jutting collarbones, a hole was partially visible in the exact location where the human heart lay within the ribs. There was just a dark hole where his heart once was. Almost as dark as his eyes it was, that hole. It was just this black abyss, like his eyes. Indeed, there was no light or goodness to be found in this being. The only things remotely close to light were the yellows of his irises, and even they were dark, just like the rest of him. Not even his pupils reflected any light. And that was where any similarity ended.

"_Darkness,"_ Aizen thought, unable to take his eyes away from those cold, lightless, and awfully empty eyes. "_All I can see is darkness." _

Aizen glared at him. Unable to look away from those dark eyes.

"Why are you here?" he asked, his tone demanding of an answer. Wanting to know why the Demon has physically materialised in this world, where before it was beyond its powers. His face was as unreadable as he could make it, but inside, he suddenly felt very, very cold.

"_Darkness," _his thoughts repeated. _"this darkness resides inside of me..."_

"Why am I here?" Jacinto asked him, smiling and laughing as if Aizen had just asked him a very stupid question. "Because you let me in, Sousuke."

Aizen's face suddenly dropped. Yes... yes that was right, he'd let this creature in... and now it was a part of him.

He shuddered inside at the thought of it. The thought that something so evil, so twisted, had come to dominate him so completely and now had the power to appear in the physical world... it was terrifying. And although Aizen prided himself on being a man without fear, even _he_ trembled inside at the gravity of being face to face with this monster, despite his unreadable face and calm exterior.

"_This is the devil." _Aizen thought, "_This is the devil in flesh. I have welcomed the devil into me. How could I have been so stupid?"_

"I meant," Aizen corrected himself coldly, "why are you here... in this world."

Jacinto raised an eyebrow in intrigue, his smile fading almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"This world?" he asked, accusingly. "what makes you think that this is _your world, _boy_?"_

Jacinto snorted, taking a step closer to Aizen, decadent and proud. And smiling. Smiling an arrogant smile.

"You forget, my dear Sousuke," he said, his words sweet as tainted honey as he paced closer. "You forget."

Aizen swallowed as the Demon stepped closer, listening quietly as he continued to speak softly to him, as if he were speaking to a child who didn't understand him.

"I _rule _these lands, Sousuke." he carried on, the anger slowly dripping through into his voice. "I ruled these lands since before you were even _born._"

Jacinto paused, glancing quickly up into Aizen's eyes, the sweetness in his voice quickly evaporating.

"These are _my_ lands, Sousuke." he spat, unable to stop himself growling a little from his years roaming the plains as a wild beast. "These were my lands _long before _you came here. So don't you dare insinuate that these are your lands, that this is _your _world. Do you forget who it was that allowed you passage into this world, hm? Did you forget that you are only in this world because of _me?"_

Aizen swallowed again, speech failing him. Yes, he remembered Jacinto's words clearly, on the very night when he'd said that he wanted to go to the Hollow World. When he admitted he hated this world and wanted to change it all. _"Only hollows can go there."_ he had said. _"I would have to devour you." _

And shortly after those words were spoken life as Aizen Sousuke knew it had ended.

"_Then, devour me." _he had said. _"Let me change the world. Give me power. Let me go where the hollows go."_

And Jacinto did so. He devoured, but he did not kill. He had given Aizen power beyond belief. He had given Aizen power when before the boy had none. He had given Aizen a better life. He had granted Aizen safe passage into this world, the Land of Eternal Night, and given him dominion over everything the moonlight touched. He had worked with Aizen in his plan to destroy and then rebuild the whole world, to improve it and eliminate inequality. And Aizen had been grateful for it.

Aizen had been given the ability to shape a whole new life for himself from that moment. But he had paid the price for it. He had paid it, and paid it, and paid it. And he was _still _paying. Even after he had gotten everything he wanted, he was still paying for it. With Gin and Ulquiorra, he was paying for it. And he did wonder; _would he have to pay for it with Orihime and his child too?_

"_I welcomed the devil." _he thought. _"I have truly welcomed the devil."_

"I do have to admit though," Jacinto continued, in a tone much too similar to his own for Aizen's liking, bringing him out of his reverie. "your little slut felt _good._ You know, I have always admired your tastes in whores..."

"How dare you." Aizen spat at him, momentarily forgetting that this creature fed on his anger and rage. "Gin is no whore!"

Aizen really had no firm argument for rising in defence of Gin. He supposed it was his natural instinct of defying the hollow coming to the fore. So really he was just defying Jacinto just to defy him, if nothing else. But Aizen did reason that Jacinto did not deserve to talk smack about his second – whether he had fucked him or not.

The hollow laughed at him. "Oh, I _beg_ to differ." he said, laughing. Mocking. Mocking like he always did.

"He literally _threw himself_ at you. If that doesn't make him a whore, I don't know what does."

The blood boiled beneath Aizen's skin for some reason he couldn't fathom. While Jacinto continued his musings, fully aware that each word he spoke only riled Aizen up all the more.

"Oh yes, It felt quite good to hurt him..." he continued, "Like I hurt your little Ulqui, the other whore you planned to fuck."

Aizen reeled. His head spinning. Yes, yes, it was all coming back to him now. How cruel he had been...

"You didn't!" he snarled, lips curled into a fierce snarl. Ulquiorra was his finest and most loyal espada. And Gin his second in command. The both of them his beautiful instruments, his favourite instruments. Just how could Jacinto be so cruel as to hurt them?

But Jacinto just cackled. His laughter filling up the whole of Las Noches; the building that was once his dominion. His domain. Savouring its echoes as he laughed.

"Oh yes, Ulqui was your_ favourite!"_ he said, pure excitement and amusement in him now. "But he was too defiant for me, so I had to break him in, like I broke in your little slut just now."

"I have already told you," Aizen said, defiantly. Pure venom in his tone. "Gin is no whore."

"He is." Jacinto just smiled. "And as for Ulquiorra, what is the use of being god if you cannot do as you wish? If you cannot touch your creations?"

"Ulquiorra was an _innocent!" _Aizen spat back at him, snarling again. "He did _nothing _to you!"

"He was too wild." Jacinto said simply, as if he were speaking of something as simple as eating dinner. "So I broke him in."

He smiled when he noted Aizen's expression. Laughing at his outrage and disgust. Laughing gently; he hadn't had so much fun in years.

"Why else do you think he obeys you so readily?" he said, chuckling lightly now, starting to really enjoy teasing Aizen. "It was so easy." he said, without so much as batting an eyelid, smiling with every word that left his lips. "Just one word, Sousuke... just one word, and he parted his legs for me... like a _whore. Just like Gin." _

He'd added those last three words for Aizen's benefit, to really dig the knife in. And it had worked.

Now all he had to do was drive the point home.

"I wonder if Orihime will do the same... if she is a whore like Gin too."

He smiled. Those words hit their mark exactly. And Jacinto could not have been more pleased with himself when Aizen completely snapped, rising to the provocation and taking the bait.

"You _bastard!_" Aizen snarled, moving to smack him right against the head. Because if he wasn't angry before, he certainly was now. But Jacinto was ready for him, gripping onto Aizen's shoulders with his slender, if not bony fingers and slamming him back against the wall, grinning madly.

"Thankyou for rising to my _slight_ provocation." he said, smirking. Using Aizen's own words against him, knowing it would _really _piss him off. "I really don't know why Gin is such a sore subject for you..."

"What happened with Gin-" Aizen started, only to have Jacinto cut him off.

"It meant nothing. Forget it."

"But my body responded-"

"_That..." _the hollow spat, "only happened because you're a horny little prick and can't keep it in your pants for more than _five fucking minutes."_

"So you saw fit to come in and hurt him?" Aizen asked, bitterly. Much to Jacinto's displeasure.

"I did what I thought was _necessary_." he snarled back in response. "_You _were getting yourself too attached. Too distracted. Too reckless with your emotions. I intervened."

Too attached? So that's what it was? Too attached? Just having sex was getting 'too attached'? It wasn't making love, it was just sex... Aizen knew that. But the hollow was implying it was more than that...

"You didn't need to!" Aizen practically screamed. "I had everything under control!

The hollow cackled. "Yeah, right." he said, somehow less than convinced. "'under control' my _arse_. I think you begging for more was a good indication of just how much control you had over yourself. You _never _beg. Moreover, you don't submit like that. To anyone! I think its quite safe to say you had absolutely no control over yourself back there."

Aizen's eyes were full of poison.

"What will you do then? Go back and abuse some more? Hurt me?"

"Hey," the Demon smiled back at him, "you hit him first."

Aizen's conscience screamed at him. And Kyouga Suigetsu howled for Demon blood in the back of his mind. But Aizen just remained silent. Those words were the truth and there was no point denying what he'd done. And besides, he couldn't give this bastard the satisfaction by raging against him.

"Anyway," Jacinto continued, unconcerned, "I had to intervene. You were getting too distracted from our plan... too reckless..."

"To change the world now seems ridiculous..." Aizen said dejectedly, sighing. What use was reshaping the world into something better if everything in his own world was such a mess? If he had nobody to stand beside him at the end of it, to rule with him when he claimed the world his own?

"You are too soft." Jacinto replied softly, caressing Aizen's face gently. His gentle actions contradicting his venomous words. "Your lovers have ruined you. They have damaged my _fine instrument..._ the Aizen Sousuke I knew never cared for anyone. He was cold, he was calculating... he got things done. He listened to me. He was a man who hated his world as much as I did mine."

He moved his face closer, bridging the gap between them as he spoke,

"What use are you to me now when you are so clearly damaged and attached to other beings?" he asked, gently. "What use are you to me now that you _love?"_

He spat out that last word as if it tasted foul. As if it were a blasphemy. As if that word had no place in his dictionary – in anyone's dictionary. And Aizen knew that it was a rhetorical question; he was of no use now to this Demon. No use at all now that he loved...

"Love is weakness." The hollow spat out again, bitterly. "It makes you breakable. I should really dispose of you now that you have this weakness... but as it is, I need you."

"And why do you need me?"

Jacinto smiled. It truly was the most frightening thing, the way he smiled.

"The same reason you need me." he answered, grinning like a child who had just been given a lollipop. "Because I am you and you are me. We share the same body now. We share one life now. Thanks to you, of course, opening your mind to let me in."

Yes, that was right. They shared one body. One life. One blood. When one died, the other would die too...

"Even the reverse side has a reverse side... an... opposite, if you will. And I am your... reverse side." Jacinto carried on, lazily. And so, so amused that he couldn't hide it even if he tried. Not that he wanted to, of course. Provoking little Sousuke was always too much fun.

"I _helped _you." he said, "Gin means nothing to you. Now you can focus on Orihime and draw her to you. And as an additional plus, you can prevent her from using her power against us. And maybe then you can let me see if she will spread her legs for me..."

"Don't you dare touch her!" Aizen shouted back at him, the blood boiling in his veins at the thought of this bastard laying a hand on Orihime. _His_ Orihime.

"It sickens me how much you care. How much you love." Jacinto said, sweetly. His voice was gentle, but his words were like venom. "Oh, yes. She is carrying your child, isn't she?"

"You don't touch her!"

Jacinto laughed again. "Oh, don't worry." he cooed, "I won't touch your little princess. She is with child, after all. Even I have morals, Sousuke."

"Oh, you do?" Aizen asked, sarcasm dripping from him. "Because sometimes I do wonder about that..."

He cackled again. He knew that he and Aizen never really got on, but damn, some of the things Sousuke said were just so damn funny he couldn't help but laugh at the walking contradiction Aizen Sousuke had become.

"I don't think you are in a place to lecture _me_ about morals, Sousuke." he snickered, "Given how you cheated on your love. On little Hime-chan. Oh, poor sweet Orihime... look what you've done to her. Put her child at risk..."

Aizen glared at him. Unable to deny yet another truth.

"But-"

Aizen felt himself slam back first against the wall again, cold fingers pinning him there, and he heard the Demon's voice rasp in his ear before he even had a chance to protest it.

"Think." he snarled at him, "you have a _baby _on the way. Use your fucking head. What happens when undue stress is put on the mother? You will lose your child. Think, fool! Or has the chessboard – this ridiculous game you play - become too complicated for you that you forget these things? Such a fool..."

Aizen tensed, feeling the grip on his shoulders tighten as he listened. Somehow thinking himself hearing something in the Demon's voice he'd never heard before...

"My family was taken from me." Jacinto continued, somewhat despondently, "By your kind, by you shinigami bastards. Killed, destroyed! Do not throw yours away of your own choice like trash. Grow a set of balls. Don't throw your family away for a useless slut."

The cold fingers then released their grip, leaving Aizen free to step away from the wall, hesitantly. While Jacinto just looked at him, his serious tone receding back into its usual mocking and defiant one, just as the tide recedes from the shore when the sun goes down.

"I'll let you clean up this mess, now that I've had my fun." He smiled. Pausing for a moment to let it all sink in.

"Just remember," he said, "you better get things moving soon, I am not a patient man. The world needs changing, and you are the only one who can help me change it. Hurry up and do whatever damage control you need to here with your princess. Because we are waging this war when the winter comes, regardless of whether you are ready for it or not."

"_Just remember that..." _his voice echoed again, and Aizen shivered. For he could never truly forget the reason he let such a vile, despicable creature into his mind...

Aizen closed his eyes, trying to shove the memories of that night out of his mind. And when he opened them again, he found the Demon had vanished. Leaving Aizen alone to recollect himself, go and find Orihime, and try to rebuild the ruins that used to be his life. And fix this god awful mess.

* * *

"_No man is compelled to evil; his consent only makes it his." - William Penn_

omg, so much abuse of the italics... forgive this. Certain words and phrases were emphasised in my head while the scene played. The writing had to reflect that.

This chapter took so long and was very draining. But this is, without a doubt, one of my favourite instalments. Backstory, foreshadowing, darkness, the bad guy everybody hates and wants to suffer, the _insider stuff_ – this one has everything.

I am a complete sucker for backstory. But I have to admit, it was such fun getting to explore the Demon's side of things. Or, Jacinto, as he has now been named. It was really fun poking about in his head for a bit. I did feel he needed a name, though. I mean, everyone calls Ichigo's hollow "Shiro" or something along those lines, and I got tired of just referring to Aizen's hollow vaguely. And it just makes it so much easier for me to differentiate between Aizen and the Demon – which if I didn't set up now, i would struggle with it much later on. And there's a lot of differentiating that has to be done later. Which is a lot harder to do in writing than it is with pictures.

I swear though, I love Jacinto if nobody else does. I just love how twisted he is. He's a bastard, but i love him like i love all my characters. So... I guess only his mother can love him, really. But he never used to be this way, though. None of my baddies are born evil, they are made.

For the curious, he was named after the Jacinto in The Devil's Backbone by Guillermo Del Torro. Wonderful film. A must watch if you don't mind subtitles.

Stay tuned for more of this, though. it's not over yet.


	54. Eye for an Eye I

this chapter should not have taken as long as it did. But things get very AU and it gave me a lot of problems - so please go easy on me. This chapter is pure backstory but i do need it for a lot of things to make sense. It is complicated and very AU later on and I need this to set up some things. So be gentle with me.

Anyway. Enjoy. Just excuse the OOC Grimmy and Ulqui and the butchering of canon. And all the AU-ing from here on out.

* * *

**Chapter 53: Eye for an Eye I**

When Orihime had calmed down, and her muffled wails had become nothing more than gentle sobs, she took in a deep breath and loosened her hold around Ulquiorra's waist.

"Do you feel better now, Orihime?" he asked her softly, still in the same soothing tone as before. Still holding onto her as she calmed herself.

He watched her nod quietly, watching her as she stood looking at him with her waterlogged eyes. And somehow he thought to himself, she was beautiful even when she cried.

Maybe that was why he couldn't help himself... maybe that was why he fell in love with her. Well, if the feeling he had could be called love anyway – Ulquiorra had long ago forgotten what love was. Thanks to Aizen-sama.

He sighed as he looked at her lifting his hand up to gently caress her face and wipe away her tears. She really was so beautiful... if only he could take her away from all of this... maybe then she could be happy. But he knew that couldn't be. Her heart already belonged to Aizen-sama whether she willed it or not. So how could Ulquiorra ever hope to obtain it? How could he snatch her away?

He breathed in and out shakily, suddenly not quite sure of the right words to say. He normally saw things in black and white, but now they were so many different shades of grey it was starting to overwhelm him.

"I have to tell you something, Orihime..." he said softly, unable to hide his unease about this whole mess of a situation. "And I am afraid you may not like it."

"W-what?" she answered him, sniffling tentatively, "Wha- whatever it is you have to tell me, tell me... if its important then..."

He hushed her gently, stroking her hair affectionately. "It is not necessarily... important." he started, keeping his voice gentle so he wouldn't startle her. She had already been through enough for one day. And any more stress might affect the life growing inside her. Or worse, make her lose it...

"But," he continued, "it is something that I have to say to you."

He caressed her face gently, his other hand moving to rest lightly on the very soft swell of her lower stomach, where she carried the child inside her. She looked at him, and he noticed the despair in her eyes as he touched her... as he held her close...

"I want you to remember..." he whispered sadly, "I want you to remember why you agreed to this. To carry Aizen-sama's child."

The words came hard, and his voice wavered as he spoke them. But Ulquiorra knew that he had to say them. No matter how much he wanted to do nothing more than take her and run from this place, from Aizen-sama, from everyone, and just live in the human world with her. Build a life with her in some obscure little village somewhere, and give her and her child a shot at a normal life. But he wasn't stupid, he knew that Aizen would come after them. He knew Aizen-sama would just come and take her back again, and then punish him for taking her away in the first place. Or Jacinto would punish them, if Aizen lost his temper enough to let his demon come into the picture... and Ulquiorra couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't.

And besides that, if Aizen did come after them to reclaim them, he was far too powerful a man for Ulquiorra to fight off. Disregarding the fact that he had attained a second release; a higher level of resurrection that Aizen had yet to know about, Ulquiorra still did not have the power to fend of Aizen. He sighed as he took a deep breath. Forcing himself to say the words. To protect her, to protect her baby...

"I want you to remember that you belonged to Aizen-sama the moment you set foot in this place. That you are his to do with as he pleases."

Orihime's eyes widened in shock at his words. They were true words, the realised, and he'd spoken a truth that she had long ago forgotten. That she had deluded herself into forgetting because she had been blinded by Aizen's sudden interest in her. By her love for his sudden affection and kindness towards her. She had been deluded, she realised, deluded by a want for love... a selfish desire for affection.

"But I..." She went to say something, anything, but words simply failed her. There was nothing she could say to him to deny the truth. That she was merely Aizen-sama's puppet. Just an empty vessel to carry his baby inside of. She shuddered. How could she have forgotten that? How could she have _possibly _deluded herself into thinking that Aizen-sama could love her? Was she so desperate for kindness and so lonely to want to cling on to anything even resembling love, even an illusion of love?

She sighed quietly, her heart suddenly finding the weight of her sadness too heavy to bear. _Yes, _she supposed, _she must have been that desperate... she _was _that desperate. _

"I feel like an idiot." she said dejectedly. "For believing he could ever love me."

"Hush, onna..." Ulquiorra continued, his voice still soft and gentle as he spoke to her. Still holding her close. "I do not mean to make you feel like an idiot. I am simply asking you to remember that time, when you first swore yourself to Aizen-sama and his will. When you first accepted him and went to his bed."

Orihime breathed quietly, her head against Ulquiorra's pale chest as they stood together, him comforting her as she composed herself. "I know," she said, "I went to protect my friends. But even still... I feel like a fool. For thinking it meant more than that..."

Ulquiorra stroked her hair again gently. "I know, Orihime... betrayal is never a nice thing. And Aizen-sama is a Judas, who does nothing but betray..."

She looked up at him suddenly, noting the subtle change in his voice. It was that same tone he had used before, back when they were alone in Orihime's little room, before Aizen-sama had even taken her into his bed.

"_He speaks like he knows betrayal." _She thought. "_Like he knows what I've been through... like he's been hurt too."_

But then she realised, he _had _known betrayal. She thought back, back to that night in her little bedroom months ago, when Ulquiorra had made that shocking confession to her. When he had come to her shaking and battered and bruised. When he'd come to her with a big black eye that covered half of his face and made him look like a panda. After he'd been abused by Aizen.

"_...he was rough." _he had said, with that haunted look in his eyes. She even remembered how his voice had cracked when she asked him what had happened.

_"I don't want to talk about it. It just hurts..."_

He had looked so broken then. So damaged... so hurt... his mask of indifference had cracked open that night, and she had seen what no other person had seen. She had seen the man behind the mask. The broken man.

_"Please consider this..." _he had pleaded with her. "_I don't want to see his damaging ways affect you too. I don't want to see you cry..." _

He had not cried then, but from the trembling of his voice she could tell that if Ulquiorra could have cried, then he would have done. But the only tear marks on his pale face were the permanent ones that betrayed his hollow origins, even while the raw emotion leaked out from his entire being. Even as he asked her – no, begged, pleaded – to be the one to take her first to spare her from Aizen-sama's abusive ways.

Her breath trembled as she remembered his words. And yet, when Aizen had taken her for the first time, he had been so gentle with her. Surprisingly so. Did that mean Ulquiorra experienced a different side of Aizen than the side of him she had seen? Or was that just part of Aizen's game? She didn't know any more... but there must have been another side to Aizen that she hadn't seen. There must be a darker side to the man. Why else would Ulquiorra have been so shaken? Why else would Aizen-sama sleep with someone else even after telling her he loved her?

Was that what Ulquiorra meant when he spoke of Aizen-sama's damaging ways?

It must have been.

"_So it's all just a game..." _she thought sadly._ "This was all just a game to him. How could I have been so stupid not to realise it?"_

"And," Ulquiorra continued, putting a stop to her little reverie, abruptly ending her train of thought with his calm, and somewhat emotional voice. "I also want you to remember that you slept with me before you went to Aizen-sama. Even after you swore yourself to him. I want you to realise, Orihime, that him sleeping with Gin is like that. An eye for an eye."

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." Orihime muttered, feeling even more dejected.

"You are hurting right now, aren't you?" he asked her. She nodded silently, burying her face into him.

"Aizen-sama probably hurt too when he found out you slept with me." Ulquiorra said, still keeping Orihime close to him, even when she shook her head in disbelief.

"But... how?" she asked, somewhat incredulous. "How could _he _be hurt?"

Ulquiorra just shook his head slowly, smiling softly at her. "Not all hurts are obvious, onna."

She smiled warmly back at him, even though she didn't understand. His smiles were so rare for her to see, but they always made her feel better. After all, he smiled only for her.

"Aizen-sama cares for you." he said gently, as if he were explaining the obvious to a child who didn't understand. "I've seen how he is around you. But it doesn't change the fact that you took another lover as well. So you should not hold it against Aizen-sama for being intimate with Gin. Like I said, an eye for an eye. And if you cannot accept that, then just remember why you accepted to carry his child in the first place."

"But..." Orihime whimpered, "he's a bastard. An evil, evil bastard...he betrayed me..."

"And is this any different from you sleeping with me?" Ulquiorra asked her, his tone no less gentle before. Even though she was a bit taken back by his words. That was a bit harsh, even for Ulquiorra – especially given the reason she'd had sex with Ulquiorra before Aizen... but she supposed he was right. Aizen being intimate with Gin was no different from her being intimate with Ulquiorra. Whatever the reasons.

"No..." she sighed. "I guess it's not."

She heard Ulquiorra sigh again, and felt his arms pull her close to him again.

"Nobody said it would be easy." he said softly, "but, will you try to put it behind you? I know it is not my place to have any say. But, you have to think of your baby now too. Will running away from Aizen-sama do the baby any good?"

Orihime's hand went onto the soft swell of her stomach. Yes, her child... she had to think of her child now... what was best for her baby...

After all, she couldn't go home. She'd burnt those bridges long ago when she came here. If she went back now, she would be treated like a criminal. At least here, her child would be safe with Ulquiorra protecting her...

"But... you said he was violent..." she said, her voice trembling. "what if he hurts me... or the baby? What if..."

Ulquiorra took a deep breath. "If he wanted to hurt you he would have done so already. But he hasn't. Doesn't that say anything to you?"

"I suppose..." she said sadly, although she knew he was right. Aizen had never even so much as raised a hand to her.

I want nothing more than to take you away from all this," he said, somewhat sadly, "But it is not fair of me. He cares for you whether you want him or not. And I can't take you away from him, when you cared for him so much."

"I'm not so sure about that last part..." she muttered sadly. "How can I care about someone who betrayed me and used me?"

"You must care if you are upset over it." Ulquiorra said simply. Watching as she buried herself further into his chest. Holding onto her and dreading the moment when he would have to let her go again.

"_I'm crying because I feel like a fool for falling for his tricks. Because I was so bloody __stupid.__" _she thought bitterly, but she knew better than to say that out loud. Especially while Ulquiorra was trying to comfort her. It would have been cruel of her to say that to him.

"I love you, Orihime." he said quietly. "I will do anything in my power to protect you, you know that. But all I want is to see you happy again."

She sighed wearily, and a moment of silence passed, as they just held onto each other. He was right, she thought. Ulquiorra was always right. She had been so happy with Aizen-sama, even if she was just clinging onto an illusion. But at least she was _happy._

She buried her face into him again, and Ulquiorra quickly glanced over towards the doorway to make sure nobody had heard him. He was safe, he realised, knowing that nobody had heard of his feelings for Orihime. Although that knowledge was short lived, because Grimmjow decided to use that particular moment to casually stroll past and hear that last sentence of his. And laugh at him, of course. Because that's just what Grimmjow did. He laughed in the face of weakness.

Ulquiorra just glared at him, "Not a word Grimmjow, or I will throw you out of the window. And this time I'll make sure you land on your head."

Grimmjow casually strolled into the doorway, not even trying to hide his laughter, a wide grin spreading across his face as he sauntered in, hands in his pockets like always.

"Aww but Ulqui, that was just such a nice thing to say..." he teased. "I didn't know you could _care__..."_

"You be quiet." Ulquiorra told him again, still being stern with the sexta espada.

"Aw, but you _love _her... it's like seeing Jacinto and Maria all over again."

Ulquiorra's back went rigid at the mention of the name. "You be quiet, Grimmjow. Can't you see the woman is upset."

Grimmjow looked confused. "Why? Why is she upset?"

Ulquiorra didn't move to look at him, but his voice was weary. There was only one reason why anyone in this place was ever upset...

"Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra said simply, suddenly exhausted.

"Jeez... again? I'm sorry, princess." Grimmjow said quietly, though more for Orihime than for his comrade. "But hey, if we're badmouthing Aizen-sama, may I join in? He's a bastard, aint he princess? What'd he do this time?"

Ulquiorra shook his head, it seemed Grimmjow was as lively as ever. "You know if Aizen-sama ever heard you say that..." he started, but Grimmjow apparently wasn't listening to reason.

"Shaddap! I'm trying to make her feel better!" Grimmjow scowled at Ulquiorra, "So what'd that creep do to upset ya princess?"

"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra said again, "you should respect Aizen-sama."

"Pssh. The only guy I'll ever respect is Jacinto." Grimmjow said, the defiance showing in his voice. "Screw Aizen."

"Grimmjow..."

Ulquiorra sighed another exasperated sigh at Grimmjow before Orihime finally spoke up again.

"Umm, I don't mean to be rude but..." she started, her voice nothing more than a nervous stutter as she spoke to the mouthy espada.

"Excuse me, but, who... who's Jacinto?" she asked, wondering who it was that Grimmjow could possibly respect more than his leader, Aizen-sama. Aizen was really powerful as he was, and she assumed Grimmjow respected powerful beings.

"Huh?" Grimmjow turned to her, ignoring Ulquiorra for the moment. "you don't know?"

Ulquiorra sighed audibly again. "Of course she doesn't know." he said, his voice exasperated. "Jacinto was before her time. How could she possibly know who he was? Who he is?"

"Sorry," Grimmjow said, looking at Orihime apologetically. "I forgot you don't know anything about our histories, princess. Shall I tell you the story?"

Orihime managed a little smile; she always did like stories.

"Oh, yes... please tell the story. I'll listen to it."

"I should warn you though, princess," Grimmjow continued, "This story doesn't have a happy ending."

Grimmjow took a deep breath and then he started to recount his past, clearing his throat before he began.

"Jacinto was the ruler of these lands even before Aizen." he started, "Long before Aizen in fact. He was strong, respected, and he was a harsh ruler. With a mighty pack behind him, who would follow him to the end of the world."

Orihime nodded in earnest, and Grimmjow carried on his tale.

"He was a shape changer, the only shape changer. Ah... I forget you don't know much about us hollows, so I guess I better explain it. You see, hollows have abilities to catch prey. Some of us have lures to attract people with strong spiritual senses, and others have increased speed, and another one might have a cloning ability. Jacinto's ability was shape changing." Grimmjow smiled to himself as he thought of the many deceptions Jacinto could create, the silly ones and the not so silly ones. The silly ones often used for entertaining his little boy.

"The humans called him Damien, son of the devil." he continued. "The shinigami called him vermin."

He smiled again. "But he was one of us, and we called him Jacinto. Jacinto Alejandro. He had his queen - his wife, Maria. And he had a son, little Carlos who looked just like his dad, but with his mother's violet eyes. And he loved them dearly."

Orihime looked at Grimmjow in a hushed awe. "Maria?" she asked him, curious as to who the people he was speaking about were.

Grimmjow turned to Orihime and smiled softly. She thought it was quite an unusual expression for Grimmjow to have, but then again Orihime had never seen Grimmjow with anything but a scowl on his face. Indeed, this Maria must have been someone very close to him if she could make him smile like that...

"Who was she?" Orihime asked quietly, her voice nothing more than a hushed whisper as she watched his facial expressions with the wonder of a blind man seeing the world for the first time in his life.

"My sister." he said softly.

"What did maria-sama look like? Was she pretty?"

"Oh yes." Grimmjow grinned as he remembered his sister. "And she was gentle and kind too. Her face was pale like the moon, and some even say she was the Moon Goddess come again. She had brilliant, bright violet eyes, and she was so gentle and kind even to the lowliest of the low. Even the pathetic hollows that couldn't hunt or fight. In fact..."

Grimmjow paused, studying Orihime's figure, smiling as he put the pieces together.

"She looked a bit like you, princess."

Orihime blinked at him, unsure of what to say. Maria sounded so beautiful the way Grimmjow described her... how could she possibly compare to someone like _that?_

"Like... like me?"

Grimmjow laughed at her reaction. "Yes." he said. "Like you. Except, she was a touch taller, and more slender. Ya know, less curvy. And..." Grimmjow looked Orihime up and down. "...not as well endowed as you. But she had your face. Some would say you are her very likeness in the face. Long hair the colour of sunset she had. She was beautiful... she made up for the lack of sunlight in this world, she was our sun. And she meant the world to her little boy, too. She was always smiling and happy..."

Orihime placed a hand over the gentle swell of her own stomach as she listened to Grimmjow talk of his family. _"So she was a mother too..."_ she thought._ "She had a child growing inside her and she gave birth too... she felt him kick inside her, just like I will feel my child kicking..."_

Ulquiorra placed his hand over hers as she cradled her stomach, and she glanced up at his face. He was smiling softly again, and she smiled back at him while Grimmjow carried on telling his story, oblivious to their little interaction.

"Yes." Grimmjow continued. "Life was good here. Until _they _came. The shinigami."

A low snarl rose up from Grimmjow's throat as he spoke of the shinigami. And if he had meant Ichigo then Orihime was sure she would have felt some sort of fear at his snarling. But oddly enough, she felt nothing. Grimmjow was speaking of shinigami that had existed long before Ichigo, or shinigami that had long since been killed or passed away. At least, that was the feel she got from the way he was telling the story. Orihime listened to him intently, watching as his face changed from a soft expression to one that she could only describe as bitterness. And hurt.

"They came and hunted us all down, one by one. Only the strong survived. We held them back but they eventually broke into Las Noches. And although we were... human... arrancar, at the time... we weren't strong enough to stop them all. And eventually..."

Grimmjow fell silent again, and this was the point at which she knew the story wasn't going to be pleasant for him to tell. She wanted to know what happened, though she was almost afraid to ask him.

"What... what happened?" she stammered, forcing herself to speak. And Grimmjow paused, looking at her with a desolate, and uncharacteristically empty expression.

"Many were killed." he said simply. "Like lambs in a slaughterhouse."

He didn't even look at Orihime when he answered, his eyes only seemed to look right through her, as if she weren't there... he just looked haunted.

"Only a few of us survived. Jacinto's wife and child were murdered before his eyes. My sister... my sweet sister... But Jacinto had it worse. They held him down. They held him down and made him watch as they tore her baby – his baby from her breast and butchered them. Maria-sama was with child when they came for us. It wasn't pretty, princess."

Grimmjow could still remember it all. Still, ever so clearly as if it were yesterday. All those scenes of horror. How they had held Jacinto down, forced him to kneel and pulled his head backwards by the hair to make him watch as the butchered his wife and son. How he screamed. How he begged and pleaded. They had made Grimmjow watch too, as they took his only family away from him. He shuddered at the thought of it. How they were both made to watch...

Grimmjow could almost remember Maria skipping along the corridors with her little boy, singing songs with her voice that sounded like windchimes to all who heard her. His sweet sister...

He also remembered Jacinto feeling her stomach and the child inside her... how he played with their son Carlos and remembered how gentle he was. How Jacinto had told little Carlos to run to him and call him 'Uncle Grimmy' and laughed with them together.

Grimmjow remembered hunting with him, prowling the white sands for food to bring home for Maria...

Orihime watched as he shook his head sadly.

"We all felt terrible losses that day. You should have heard Jacinto howl, then. He was never the same since."

"But that's terrible." Orihime said, shocked at the violence that had been done to him and his family.

"_So this is why Grimmjow hates shinigami," _she thought, _"they butchered his family and took his sister away, like the hollows took my brother away... no wonder he hates them."_

Grimmjow snorted. "That is how things are, princess. They kill us, persecute us. Destroy the lives we built for ourselves and call us vermin. Take away our families. It has been this way for eternity. Nothing will change just because you or me says its terrible and wrong. I could kill every shinigami I meet but nothing will bring them back. Not my nephew or my sister."

Orihime gasped. The shinigami always said to her that hollows were monsters without feeling... could they have been wrong?

"What happened after that?" she asked, still clutching onto Ulquiorra.

"Jacinto, he swore revenge." Grimmjow answered her, "He stood beside me one night, looking out over the desert, the wind in his thick black hair. He stood there, with empty eyes. Looking out into the Night Land. He looked all right, bit he did not see. _I am leaving this place._ he said. _When I return, we will take from them what they took from us this night." _

Orihime shuddered as she heard Grimmjow recall Jacinto's last words to him. Such bitterness there, she thought. How bitter and broken he must have been. Because those were the words of a man who had nothing left in this world to lose.

"I told you princess," Grimmjow said again, having noticed her shudder with terror. "He was never the same, since."

"But... but what was Jacinto like? Before?" she asked him. And Grimmjow smiled.

"Strong." he told her. "And fearless. He could be cruel, but he chose not to be. Except when his family was threatened... _then _the heads rolled. How to describe him... tall. Black hair. Dark eyes... brown eyes, I should say. Just a little bit pale. He was... he was a different man. They broke him that night, princess. They broke him. He was just this shell of a man the last time I saw him."

"But what happened to him?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "He just upped and left. We never saw him again. Barrgan usurped the throne, but nobody listened to him. He was weak, and we hollows follow only the strong. Dissent and anarchy descended upon these lands, princess. Jacinto's pack devoured itself."

"But... what happened to you? After... the massacre. After Jacinto left?" Orihime asked, now quite awed and curious. Hollows actually had rules and hierarchy, which surprised her. Because all the stories Rukia had told her about hollows never touched on this. Never.

Grimmjow smiled ruefully, defiantly as he remembered the mad king Barrgan.

"Barrgan exiled me." he said, almost half laughing. "I was a threat. He had me thrown out into the wilderness."

"I'm sorry." Orihime said quietly. God... Grimmjow must have had a hard time of things before Aizen-sama came here, that was for sure. She actually felt sorry for him, but Grimmjow just laughed.

"What are you apologising for, princess?" he asked her, though his tone was not cruel. "It just means I'm strong and the weak king was weak and scared of me. That's all it means."

He smiled again after Orihime's expression lightened again, before he continued telling his story.

"Anyway. After building my strength out there I came back to challenge him in a fight. He lost. And I ruled the Night Land for a time – that was, until Aizen-sama showed up."

Grimmjow had added the 'sama' after Aizen's name with as much sarcasm as was physically possible for him. Because for Grimmjow, there would only ever be one being worthy of that, and it was not Aizen.

"So Aizen rules the Night Land now..." Grimmjow sighed, "Instead of Jacinto or me. Aizen-sama rules like Jacinto did, but Aizen will never be him. He is too soft. Like me, Jacinto actually _earned_ his right to lead. Aizen just waltzed right on in and threw me off the marble throne without even a real fight."

Grimmjow scowled quietly, and Ulquiorra sighed. He knew Grimmjow would always compare Aizen-sama to Jacinto. Always. Nothing would change. Grimmjow did obey, but it was out of fear, not respect. But then again, Ulquiorra was no different. He obeyed, but out of fear too. But Ulquiorra knew something that Grimmjow didn't.

"_If only he knew."_ he thought,_ "If only he knew how bitter Jacinto-sama has become. That he inhabits Aizen-sama's body... would he still respect him then, I wonder? Because the Jacinto he knew, that I knew, is long dead. Like he just said, Jacinto is just an empty shell of a man now."_

He knew that Grimmjow wanted nothing more than to get rid of Aizen-sama, and sit a hollow back into the seat of power. Sit a hollow Back into the white marble throne that had been fought over since time began. And Ulquiorra wanted nothing more than to join Grimmjow in doing that. But Ulquiorra lived in too much fear of Aizen to try anything. He was not wild. He used to be, long ago, but not now.

He remembered Grimmjow telling him that he was weak for it. That he had been changed. Broken even. Because he too, used to be like Grimmjow.

_You've changed, Ulqui. _Grimmjow had told him. _He has tamed you... _

But Ulquiorra shook off the memories. They only ever made things worse, and right now, he was needed in the present.

"Wow, I never knew there was so much to hollow life..." Orihime said, bringing Ulquiorra back into reality again.

"Yeah." Grimmjow replied, smiling despite telling his sad tale. "It's just a shame the story explaining it is so sad..."

"I'm sorry you had to tell such a sad story to me." she said gently, to which Grimmjow smiled back, somewhat sadly.

"It's okay, princess." he said, then turning his head around to look at the empty doorway. "Anyway, I can sense that prick... sorry, _Aizen-sama," _he corrected himself when he caught sight of the cold look Ulquiorra was giving him, "coming this way now. I think I'll get outta here before he hears me talkin' smack about him and tellin' the histories."

"Yes," Ulquiorra said, agreeing with him with a touch of sarcasm. "You better go before Aizen-sama throws you out of the window for... 'talking smack about him', as you put it. _Again. _Not like that would stop you."

Grimmjow laughed defiantly. "Damn right that wouldn't stop me!" he cackled, making his way out of the door. "Anyway, I hope your little princess feels better, whatever that little prick- err, Aizen-sama did."

"Ugh, just get moving Grimmjow." Ulquiorra sighed, "I am not going to save you if Aizen-sama catches you."

"Psh, yeah alright, I'm going. Damn, who put a stick up _your _arse?" Grimmjow muttered as he left the room, just in time for Aizen-sama to walk in, rather sheepishly. Like a dog creeping back towards his master after having done something wrong.

"Orihime," he said calmly, and with a very guilty look on his face. "Can we please talk about this?"

* * *

note: Barrgan is just a random name. Before anyone starts correcting me. He's not really important. he's not a canon character. So don't rack your brains trying to figure out who he's supposed to be. He's one of my own insane little creations.

Apologies for the pure backstory chapter. Real Drama and lot progression will come next chapter, promise. I just had to break this one into two parts because it got a bit too much to write all at once. I think i gave up about three times. And I hated killing off Maria and Carlos. Needed some sympathy for Demon though, so it had to be done.

So many original characters here... hope it doesn't interrupt the flow of things too much. But i needed them for the backstory. I had to get an image out there of Jacinto before he had a complete psychotic breakdown, which was a challenge in itself. Because he wasn't _always _an arse – even though it feels like it. And I also needed to set up another development with the Demon. Love square is becoming a love polygon, yes indeedy.

Anyway, better go crank out the next update. Stay tuned for drama. I know its long, and i know it gets hard going, and my updates are irregular as it is. But i do appreciate your alerts etc. and your patience. Most of all I appreciate the patience.


	55. Eye for an Eye II

here you go. Real drama, as promised. Do enjoy it. Not even going to say how difficult this was to write. Been writing like a maniac as of late (haha, when am I not). My brain hurts and my fingers do ache and it was not easy. But i like how it came out.

I'm just waiting for insider notes to come back before I can crank out the next lot. Til then, enjoy my crazy bleachified soap opera.

* * *

**Chapter 54: Eye for an Eye II**

"Please, Orihime." Aizen said, with a pleading look in his eyes as he walked slowly into the room. "I just want to talk."

Ulquiorra turned his gaze towards Orihime again, his arms still around her protectively.

"Onna?" he asked her, letting her answer the question for herself instead of answering for her. Waiting for her to answer Aizen just in case he did something against her wishes.

But Orihime just shook her head at him.

"No." she said firmly, gently disentangling herself from Ulquiorra's embrace. "I don't want to talk to you."

She turned to walk away from him, but Aizen began to protest. "But I just want to talk to you. To explain."

"No." she said again, more sternly this time as she swept into the bathroom again and shut herself in, locking the door behind her. "Go away."

Aizen just looked glumly at the closed bathroom door, and slowly walked towards it, his hands hanging limp by his sides. When he reached the door he raised one hand up and knocked gently on the door.

"Please, Orihime." he called out to her, "Look, I'm sorry. Just... please come out and let us talk about this. Please?"

"I won't hear it!" she shouted through the door at him, covering her ears and trying to drown out the sound of his voice. That calm, soothing, apologetic voice he was using to beg her to come back to him.

He knocked on the door again, but Orihime was having none of it. She sat on the toilet seat and pulled her knees up to her chest and just sat there, hunched over, trying to shut out Aizen's apologetic voice. Trying to shut it out so it wouldn't get to her. So it wouldn't make her cave and give in and go running back into his arms and forgive him. She knew she was being childish, that she was supposed to be an adult and face her problems instead of running away and locking herself in the bathroom. But she just couldn't deal with this right now. It was just too much and she was just so upset and angry to have a civilised conversation with him right now.

Gods, if only he would go away, just for a little while, so she could think for a bit. So she could clear her head and think about what to do next. But he wasn't giving her any chance to think.

And _how_ _dare he _show his face to her anyway after what he just did. Just _how dare he. _She was just so hurt and angry and wound up that she didn't know whether to cry or to beat him – or just do both.

She took in a deep breath and tried to calm herself. One breath. Two. Three. She lowered her feet back onto the white floor again, still breathing deeply as a hand slowly slid onto her stomach. That was when the thought came to her.

"_The baby..." _she told herself, suddenly incredulous as to how she could have forgotten the most important thing in her life. "_Think of the baby. My baby. Stress causes miscarriages. I can't lose my baby because of this. I have to calm down. I have to. I can't lose my baby... my baby..."_

She could still hear Aizen calling for her outside the door, but she tuned him out, still breathing deeply and massaging her stomach gently. She took a quick glance around the ostensibly spacious bathroom she was in, distracting her mind from wandering outside and back to him again. She looked down at her hands and her stomach again, and let her mind wander instead to the child inside her. Of the silent promise of a sweet little mouth on her breast. Of a new life. Of a family.

A baby. Her baby. Hers. Hers and hers alone. Nothing could take that away from her.

Because despite the circumstances that led to it's conception, this was a wanted child. This child was loved.

She smiled, sighing contentedly, still wrapped up in thoughts of the little unborn baby inside her. Soon forgetting all about Aizen standing outside pleading for her to talk, and thinking of the day when she could finally hold her child in her arms. Thinking of the love she would feel when she could finally touch them, kiss them. The love she felt so strongly, even now. Even after such a short time. How far gone was she now? Four weeks? Six? Definitely no more than six weeks, she wasn't beginning to show just yet.

She let herself wonder, was it a son? Or a daughter growing inside her? She didn't know. She decided it didn't matter. All that mattered was that it was hers and that she loved it. And that it would love her back. That would be all that mattered. Always. She would love her child the way her vile mother never loved her or her brother, and she would learn to look after her own baby the way she and Sora had never been looked after.

She smiled at the thought, and immediately felt the waves of calm wash over her. And soon she was breathing steadily again. She was calm, and she wasn't going to lose her baby. She smiled again. She would still have her baby to love, whatever happened between her and Aizen.

She could still hear Aizen banging on the door and calling out to her, but she took no notice. She just needed a few minutes – just a few more minutes – to be alone. To be calm. To think of her child. To forget for just one moment that her life was a complete mess.

Aizen banged on the door again.

"Please, Orihime..." he called out to her, his voice cracking with pure desperation now. A far cry from the self-assured, confident, and somewhat haughty and domineering man he was before. She would have laughed at him if it weren't so pitiful. And if she weren't the one he was calling for through the door.

Aizen slumped against the door, his head against the wooden doorframe and his arm against the wood of the door. Resigning himself to the fact that Orihime was not going to come out of that bathroom any time soon.

"I just want to talk, Orihime. Look, I'm really, _really_ sorry. Just, please come out..."

Ulquiorra watched him from where he was standing, not having moved since Orihime had left his arms.

"I don't think she wants to talk to you." he said simply, his tone as monochromatic and stoic as it usually was whenever he spoke to his master. He didn't mean any sort of defiance with his words – he was merely just stating the obvious fact that Aizen-sama seemed to be oblivious to. But Aizen didn't seem to appreciate the information, turning his head towards him to glare openly at him, without so much as a single word.

He stood up and backed away from the door though when he heard the soft 'click' of the lock and the doorhandle being pushed down. He took another step backwards when the door quietly opened and Orihime strode confidently out and towards him. She was not looking very leased with him, although after finding out what he'd just done – or rather, _who _he'd just done – that was to be expected.

She moved quietly to stand in front of him, looking up at him with her tear filled eyes, though her facial expression was unreadable to him at the present moment. He had never really seen her cry before... and it struck him.

The guilt spread into his stomach as he looked into her eyes. Dear gods, this was all his fault. He never should have let this happen. Never. He should have resisted more... he should have resisted...

But it was all he could do now to explain and apologise and hope she would forgive him.

"Orihime, I'm really sorry."

She looked at him for a moment, expressionless, before calmly – very calmly – raising her hand up and slapping him across the face. Hard.

"You _bastard." _ she hissed at him. "Heartless _bastard."_

Aizen looked at her for a moment with an utterly startled expression. Okay, he expected her to be upset, but he hadn't expected her to actually _slap him. _Although, he did reason that he actually deserved it.

"Okay." he said quietly. "I deserved that one. But please just let me explain, I-"

He was cut off again when she slapped him a second time. When did her soft hands suddenly become so hard?

"Will you just let me explain?"

He moved towards her, stepping forwards even if just so he could talk without being continuously slapped in the face, but no sooner did he take the first step when Ulquiorra put himself between them, defending her. Keeping her behind him with his arms.

"Do not even think about it." Ulquiorra warned, eyebrows furrowed and eyes blank and cold and determined.

Aizen eyed him coldly for a minute before answering him. "This has nothing to do with you, Ulquiorra. Move aside."

Ulquiorra didn't respond. And Aizen stood in complete silence, just looking at his defiant espada with a mixture of disdain and boredom. He was getting tired of this now, and he just wanted to sit Orihime down and explain what happened and _apologise. _Even grovel for forgiveness if he must. But Ulquiorra wasn't going to let him even get close to her, which infuriated him. He could even feel Jacinto getting irritated by the raven haired man now.

_Interfering cunt! _The Demon growled, bubbling up inside his head again. Though Aizen didn't try to silence him.

"Ulquiorra, stay out of this." he ordered, keeping his face expressionless while Jacinto raged inside him. Just waiting for the espada to back down like he usually did and let Aizen move on with things.

But Ulquiorra wasn't moving. He just looked up at Aizen with all the defiance he could muster, despite the slight trembling of his hands. He swallowed, his eyes not once leaving Aizen's.

"No." he said firmly, hoping to the gods that his voice would not crack as he spoke. "I won't let you hurt her."

Aizen didn't move for the few seconds that passed. Seemingly shocked as this sudden defiance. But Ulquiorra didn't move, and Aizen – now very irritated – simply backhanded him across the face.

And though this did please his Demon, the espada still would not move.

Ulquiorra shook with not just the impact, but the display of the power Aizen had over him. And suddenly, he was transported back in time, feeling like he was a newly made espada again; quailing in the face of his master's power and rage and being forced to obey again. To Look into those black eyes again...

He trembled. But deep down Ulquiorra knew that he couldn't submit to that again. He couldn't quail. He couldn't let himself feel the fear. Not now... not now that he had someone to protect from all of this... not now he had someone he loved...

So Ulquiorra just stayed put where he was. He dug deep and stood his ground.

Aizen looked down at him. The arrancar's green eyes were defiant and cold. And looking at his expression, Aizen could really see the strong, defiant Ulquiorra from years gone past. The strong, wild, and untame Ulquiorra. The rebellious one.

And that was when it hit him. "My god," Aizen gaped quietly. "...you _love _her."

Orihime trembled behind Ulquiorra. Oh gods, now it was _all_ coming down. Aizen would be angry now, surely. And she didn't think she could bear to watch him hurt Ulquiorra too. Not again.

"Pl- please, Ulqui... please stand aside. Please." she pleaded softly, "I don't want you to get hurt..."

But still Ulquiorra did not move. He did not even turn his head to look at her as he answered.

"He has already taken everything from me." he said, "I have nothing more to fear from this man."

Ulquiorra's words were gentle, but still no less firm in defiance. Because it was true. Ulquiorra had nothing more to fear from Aizen now. Aizen had already taken everything he could possibly take from him; Orihime, his body, his freedom, his free will, his soul, all his joy in life, his ability to love... everything. There was nothing else Ulquiorra could possibly lose now that everything worth taking was gone from him now.

"I just want to talk, Ulquiorra." Aizen told him, his voice and face gentle this time. And Ulquiorra studied his eyes carefully. The eyes are the windows to the soul, he was always told, and the espada kept his eyes fixated on Aizen's.

"Please Ulquiorra..." Orihime pleaded again. "Let me talk to him. I don't want him to hit you..."

He sighed softly. "Are you sure, Onna?"

"Yes." she said firmly. "Let him talk."

And then Ulquiorra cautiously moved aside, letting Orihime take a step forward beside him to face Aizen. To face her lover.

"Okay." she said calmly, looking up at Aizen's face now. "Explain yourself."

Aizen sighed wearily.

"Look, I'm very sorry for what happened. But this was all just a misunderstanding."

She kept her composure as she studied his face intently. Keeping her voice calm and subdued as she spoke to him. She was going to keep calm and cool, and collected so she could ask the right questions. She wasn't even going to shout at him, just so he wouldn't get a reaction out of her. If that was his game from the beginning – to destroy her, to break her – then she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Oh, a misunderstanding." she said sadly. "So tell me then, what is it I misunderstand? Because from what I saw... I understood perfectly well."

"It was a mistake, I swear to you." Aizen protested, "He seduced me, and I never should have let it happen."

"But... you _did_ let it happen." she told him. "You let it happen. And I'm almost afraid to ask you why... do you love him? Is that it? Tell me, because that's the only part I don't understand..."

"No. That's not it at all. I love you, not him."

"Then why _fuck him?" _

Orihime practically choked out the question, fighting back more tears now. This time she decided she'd had enough. She just couldn't listen to his lies. Or at least, she _thought _they were lies...

"I think you should go" she said coldly. "Just go."

"But, Orihime, I -"

"Just go, Aizen. Leave. I cant even... I cant even hear this right now."

Aizen's shoulders slumped, and his hands fell limp by his sides again. He had tried to explain it, but Orihime wasn't in any mood to listen to him. She didn't want to listen. Even though Gin meant nothing to him at this stage, she wasn't going to want to listen to him saying that. He sighed, before slowly walking away. Supposing that some thinking time for both of them was a necessity here. He'd already done too much damage to be fixed in a matter of minutes. That was, if the damage could ever be fixed at all. Though he desperately hoped it could be.

"You know where I am if you ever want to talk though, Orihime. If you _ever _want to talk to me again." he said, hanging back for a moment in the doorway before walking out.

She watched him leave, and then quietly broke out in tears again, sobbing quietly. And Ulquiorra, as if on cue, moved closer to hold her again.

"Are you okay, Orihime?" he asked her, stroking her hair softly as she sobbed into his neck.

"I... I think I'll be okay. I just... need to have some time to think."

"Then I'll give you all the time in the world." he said gently, smiling softly at her. Kissing her forehead tenderly. "But will you be alright on your own for a little while? I need to speak to Ichimaru-sama about something."

She nodded quietly, still with her head resting on his shoulder. "Yes, don't worry, I'll be fine. I think I need to be alone right now anyway."

He smiled and caressed her face gently as he stepped back.

"Are you sure? Because I can send Grimmjow back in to watch you..."

She shook her head again. "No, I'll be fine, really. You go and do whatever it is you need to do."

He held her tightly in his arms again and gently squeezed her, kissing her again before he left. And after a few minutes spent drying her eyes with some tissues from the bathroom, she made her own way back to her own little bedroom with the bars on the windows, lay on the bed, and cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

holy crap this chapter just would not end. I think thats the first time I've had Hime swear though.

Gosh it feels like writing a soap opera now.

Anyway, ahh this chapter was hard. But I do like Ulqui rebelling against Aizen whom he has feared for so long. Especially when he says: _"He has already taken everything from me. I have nothing more to fear from this man." _He's finally growing a set and standing up for his lady love. I can't not like that.

Although I think my most favourite bit has to be that slap. Hands down it has to be that slap.

But I also love Hime being paranoid about losing her baby too. I think she'd have really strong instincts to protect her children – giving how much she wants to protect her friends. In this story-verse, she's just one compassionate lady. Bit naïve, though. Hard to get into her head at times. But still.

I admit the ending with Ulqui is setup though. The plan is vague, i am waiting for notes, but its definitely setup.


	56. Cracks in our foundations

Excuse the delays. I am living away from home, working, and currently living out of a suitcase. So updates will be slower than usual. Not non-existent, I'm really plowing through the chapters and attacking it. They will just be very slow to reach you.

Okay. Here we have Chapter 55 of what my brother currently (and rather accurately) estimates to be a total of 167. Minus epilogue, prologue and backstory. _Someone teach me to write shorter stories. _It is the bane of my existence.

(but much love to Zerolr for telling me to write what comes naturally and not edit myself for opinions – because i needed reminding and keep asking her "shall i keep this scene? Do you like this? is it boring?")

Anyway. Enjoy the chapter. You can read my author babbling at the end if you like. Its pretty scattered though since i can't ruin any of the setup in this scene. Most of it is for the chapters in the late 70's and 80's. And a couple in the 100's. So its a lot of setup.

Also: yes, Aizen read Genji. A supposed "romance" story. Call him girly if you must. I think he would appreciate all the poetry and in-depth metaphors.

* * *

**Chapter 55: Cracks in our foundations **

After having left Orihime and Ulquiorra to their own devices, Aizen found himself sitting on one of the spare chairs in one of the spare rooms, mulling everything over in his head. He needed a quiet place to think, and thankfully, Las Noches was never short of empty, quiet, spacious rooms to think in. And Aizen certainly had a lot to think about.

He sighed quietly, frustrated at how rapidly everything was turning into this awful mess. It didn't exactly help matters when he heard his inner demon babbling away and whining at him.

"_Ugggh, why, Sousuke? Why?" _he asked him, though Aizen didn't want to listen. _"You could have been so happy with her. Why did you go and fuck it all up for someone you don't even love?"_

Aizen didn't answer him. He didn't even want to _speak_ to Jacinto now. Although he did wonder about the reasons why his demon was so obsessed with the woman. Why he liked her so much.

_Maybe that was part of it... because they were the same entity..._

Aizen clutched his head and groaned into his hands as the hollow receded.

"This is a disaster." he muttered to himself. "One big fucking disaster."

Though he really shouldn't have been surprised. His whole life was just a long string of small disasters. This whole fiasco with Gin and Orihime was just the latest, and perhaps the biggest disaster to date. Not the first, and certainly not the last.

He kept replaying it over and over again in his head, unable to shift the images from his mind. Unable to forget his little 'ride' with Gin from earlier. He wondered idly if there had been other rides, since Gin was quite adept at this. _Surprisingly _adept. Like he knew just what to do to push him into oblivion. Maybe it was possible Gin _was_ telling the truth. He lowered his hands from his face.

_No. That is a lie. _He told himself sternly._ There couldn't have been other times... could there? No. No there weren't. There weren't..._

He clutched his head again and grit his teeth. This was beginning to make his brain hurt. It was so hard to tell what was lies and what was truth now. And it wasn't like he could completely trust what Jacinto was telling him either. He couldn't really trust anyone. Gin wasn't above manipulating him, and Jacinto just lied. Ulquiorra hated him, it was no secret now, so he would probably be conspiring to take Orihime away from him now too.

_What am I going to do?_

It was then that Kyouga appeared to him. He didn't see her materialise, he just felt her there. She never announced herself, she just appeared whenever she was needed. She looked up at him, her large, yellow eyes, studying him intently. Her cold wolf nose mere inches away from his hands.

"Kyouga." he smiled wearily, as she stepped closer. The she-wolf nuzzled his hand in response.

"Nice to know I am remembered." she said. "Though I can't say the same for everyone..."

He frowned as she continued. Was his sword going to torment him too?

"My apologies for the formality earlier. I didn't want to show the demon any weakness. You know how he is."

"All too well. Sadly." he sighed. "Things are so screwed up, it's not even funny."

"Story of your life, isn't it?" she said softly, letting her eyes flicker back to their true shade; a bright blue the colour of the seas.

"You are troubled." she told him, more in a statement than a question. "Do you want me to sit and talk with you?"

He nodded. And in one swift flourish, Kyouga Suigetsu stood before him in human form. She was a tall, slender, slightly curvy woman, with pale skin and soft blue eyes the colour of the ocean. She wore a full length kimono of a midnight blue, patterned asymmetrically with white pear blossoms with a white underlayer, the sleeves of which trailed past her fingertips. A moonstone hung about her neck from a silver chain, and her hair was the colour of wood, the lengths of it tumbling down down past her waist. On one side of her hair, she had a small wooden hair ornament pinned in place behind her ear, from which dangled about four small, oval shaped mirrors of varying sizes from transparent strings. She smiled at him, and Aizen's lips curved into a soft smile at her. And it was at times like this when he was the most proud of his blade. Some would say that her sister, Sode no Shirayuki was the most beautiful of all zanpaktou. But to Aizen, his blade would always be the most stunning.

Because this beautiful creature was the creator of all his illusions. This was the spirit that could fool the senses into thinking the sky was falling. This was the woman who could make the Land of Eternal Night into an endless vista, and make the barren desert bloom. She could even reduce mountains to dust and make the seas vanish into mist. She was the one who could make the Sun and the Moon rise and set with but a wave of her hand. All her master had to do was command it of her, and it would be done.

"Shall we have tea?" she asked him, waving her hand to conjure up two steaming cups of Lady Grey tea – his favourite – and then sitting down in the vacant chair beside him.

"Now, tell me." she said gently, picking up her cup and saucer. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

She smiled. "Liar."

"how did you know?" he asked her, his lips slipping into a world weary smile.

"Your internal world... the weather there." she said. "The oceans ravage the shores. I cannot even hear myself howl for the blowing gales on the cliffs, the thunder in the sky... your heart is in turmoil, Sousuke."

She paused, looking intently at her master's vacant expression. "do you want to talk about it?"

He didn't even look at her when he answered. "No."

Kyouga frowned, furrowing her eyebrows. Less than impressed. Honestly, she didn't think she could take one more hailstorm in that inner world of his if things carried on this way.

"I swear, Sousuke," she scolded him, "if you make it hail in there even _after_ I tried to talk to you... I won't be happy with you. Because when it hails in that world it really _hails."_

That seemed to pull Aizen out of his thoughts and eventually, he sighed. "Alright, fine. We will talk."

She sighed wearily, taking a sip of her tea. "Your inner world hasn't been like this since..." she started, but her voice died off towards the end. She was afraid to say any more. She couldn't say any more...

"Since...?" Aizen pressed, looking intently at his sword, waiting for answers. She knew he hated it when he wasn't in the know about something. He was a man who hated being out of control of everything. So he waited expectantly for Kyouga to answer him.

"Decades ago." she said simply. "Gin is troubling you again, I sense it. I thought you had sorted all this out between you. It is always that _one_ who causes so much havoc with the weather in that inner world of yours. It's because the girl is upset, isn't it? It is his fault?"

"That is part of it." Aizen confessed, and Kyouga finally knew that she was getting somewhere. "But Gin is upset too. It happened again... I... I hurt him."

"Again?" she asked him, though none of this surprised her. "The Demon?"

Aizen nodded. His expression blank. "Why Gin, though? _Why?_ Why won't he shut up about Gin? Here I am worried about Orihime and he won't shut up about Gin. He is like a broken record."

Aizen finally picked up his tea and drank it, with Kyouga shaking her head at all of this new information.

"I don't know..." she sighed softly, "Why is it always Gin who is the source of all your troubles? And what do you feel knowing your whole internal world is in dissent because of him? What does that tell you?"

"That I am one very screwed up man." Aizen answered, his voice unimpressed. This wasn't the first time that Gin had been the root cause of most of his problems.

"And..." Kyouga probed further. Trying to push Aizen to put the pieces together and come up with a solution himself. She wasn't allowed to do it for him, but he could surely help point him in the right direction. "what else?"

"That..." Aizen continued, pausing in attempt to find the right words. "my internal world obviously thinks differently than my head does about him. And... now I've just realised how insane that is."

"Well, your internal world... and your body." she added, though much to his embarrassment.

"Maybe you should just listen to it." she carried on, casually waving one of her hands while she held her teacup in the other. "But... maybe... try to keep it in your pants this time around?"

Aizen glares at her. But he knew she was only teasing.

Aizen groaned at her, and it was all she could do not to giggle. Aizen didn't need to be told that the heart ruled the state of the internal world. He already knew that. But which one of his lovers was causing the disruptions there was something that he would just have to figure out on his own.

"I think I need to talk to him, tell him just how confusing this all is to me. That him jumping me was a bad idea. I've told him... I've told him how it is with him..."

"Remember though, Sousuke," she told him gently. "The mother of your child has feelings too. She's upset by this whole mess as well. It is her sadness blotting out the sun in there... and I'm tired of being in the dark."

_If she is blocking out the sun, then who is making it rain? _Aien asked himself quietly. _Or is that Orihime too?_

"But Gin threw himself on me." Aizen said, slumping in his chair and covering his face with his hands. Spreading his fingers so he could still see through them. "She saw everything, and now she hates me. Gin keeps professing we were lovers... but the thing is... I don't remember a thing! Is it all just lies?"

He was getting desperate now. And his voice much more strained. It was all Kyouga could do to not blurt out the whole truth, but she maintained her silence. Otherwise, they would both die for it. It was well known zanpaktou law that no sword was allowed to interfere in the natural course of love. The penalty for doing such was death for both blade and wielder.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. _I have committed the greatest sin, _she thought to herself, _I have destroyed a love. Even if it was the only way..._

"You know, you are just like that prince Genji with the entanglements he has with his lovers." Kyouga mused to herself. She had long ago turned a blind eye to Sousuke's... private life. But that didn't mean she didn't keep up to date with them all. Not that it was something she wanted to know much about, anyway. She was not one for voyeurism, like most assumed. But she still liked to keep up to date on who was the most current.

"Wait, lovers?" he asked her, suddenly incredulous. Just how much more was she keeping from him? "So... more than one?"

"I've said too much already..." Kyouga told him, shaking her head again. But still Aizen pressed her further.

"Tell me." he said, still desperate to put the pieces together and find out just what had happened behind the scenes. There was still so much that he didn't know... so much that nobody was telling him. "Tell me, please."

She looked at him for a long time. She could see the desperation in him, hear it in his voice...

She hated doing this to him. But she was sworn to silence, and if she broke that vow then it would be the end of both of them. She couldn't even tell him that to protect him she had to wipe his memory so his mind wouldn't suffer too much trauma. And god knew how much of _that _he had suffered over the years. This bout of amnesia was only much worse because of her...

His mind was basically ripping itself apart, and she was trying to keep the hollow separate from his own conciousness. Which was a feat in itself. But she didn't know how much of his memory he would lose this time. It could have been a little, and it could have been a lot. She'd had to take her chances, and in the end she made him lose a lot of it. She sighed. She knew it would hurt him, but it was for the best, and she did it to bide him time so she could find out how to destroy the hollow. To bide him time. Since his time was something that was rapidly running out. It would only be a matter of time now until...

"I... can't say." she told him, sadly. And Aizen was desolate.

"No-one will tell me anything..." he muttered, dejectedly, slumping back in his chair again. And Kyouga felt so sorry for him then. She was the only one who could help him, and even _she_ could tell him nothing. Her heart really went out to him. He was so alone and desperate, and playing a losing game.

He was a fool, she decided. He was a fool for making such a choice so long ago...

He permitted the Demon residence inside him in order to pass safely through to the Hollow World, the place where only hollows could go, and to gain the powers to get there – but it was too big a sacrifice. No great a change he could make in the world was worth sacrificing those he loved and would love. Nothing was worth that.

She sighed sadly at him, shaking her head slowly, jingling the little mirrors hanging from her bamboo hair ornament.

"You were a fool, Sousuke..." she sighed, saddened. "You were a fool to allow such a beast to devour you. Despite how much you wanted to be free of that wretched life, living on the streets. Look how much grief power has brought you..."

"Don't you think I know that?" Aizen said, scornfully. "I'm reminded of it always. Every day I look in the mirror and see my mistake. Every day of my life I am reminded of my own stupidity!"

Kyouga just smiled sympathetically at him, and reached for his hand, taking it in hers. "You forget though, Sousuke," she told him kindly. "you were only a child. I forget. You did not have me there to guide you back then, to warn you. The Demon appeared to you with the notion of helping you but you had no idea of the cost. You were still so young... only a child... you still had so much life to live. You wanted better than a life of starving on the streets, scrounging for every meal. I don't gather this is what you had in mind, but you wanted better than what you had. But, I will protect you."

"Protect me?" he asked him, as if he didn't believe her.

she snorts, "I am your obedient servant. Now and always. I know I do not always agree with your choices... and do not always bow to your every will like everyone assumes I do... and I know we have had our arguments in the past... but... I am still your servant. Your partner. Your equal."

Aizen couldn't help but smile. At least someone was on his side. Even if everybody else wasn't.

"But what about _him?_"

"We will deal with _him _when the time comes." she said gently, knowing which 'him' he was speaking about. "But for now, you need to go and sort out this mess."

Kyouga Suigetsu smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. She was his servant. She was a part of him. She was born with him and she would die with him. And she was bound to protect him. Even if she did regret damaging his life like this, even when she knew of his feelings...

"Tell me the truth now," he pleaded with her again. "who is it I loved? Tell me. _Please_."

He begged her for the truth. _Begged her. _His eyes full of sadness. But even so, she was forbidden to interfere with Affairs of the Heart. The law forbade her. She knew the legends. She knew the stories of what happened to the spirits who interfered in the course of their masters love affairs. The grisly tales...

"I can't say. I'm sorry."

He dropped his gaze from hers, and Kyouga sighed sadly.

"Even if I tell you," she told him, "I cannot tell you how to feel, Sousuke. I'm afraid this is something I cannot give you counsel on. I cannot guide you on this matter."

Aizen sighed. _So I have to make a choice. _

She looked at him, and how she did pity him. Sometimes, she still saw the little boy she took under her wing. The boy she watched grow up into a man under her guidance. The prince without a kingdom. The boy with no friends.

"You may ask me one question." she told him. "And I will answer the truth. The rest you must discern for yourself. How you feel after that is up to you. I think you already know how everyone else feels about you though."

"They _hate_ me." Aizen said bitterly. After what _he'd_ just done, Aizen didn't believe anybody would even like him. Let alone love him. He was a monster... a monster...

"Love is stronger than hate, Sousuke." Kyouga told him, her voice soft and gentle, like always. "Always remember that. Love will overcome even the strongest darkness. The sun always shines the darkness away. Always."

Aizen looked at her, his face a blank canvas.

_I have lived my whole life in the dark, _he thought, dejected. _The sun has never appeared to shine it away for me. Never. Why ever would I think that would happen now?_

"What is light to me," he asked her sadly. "one who lives in such darkness?"

"Everything in the world." She told him "And everything you love."

Aizen let his mouth slip into a sarcastic smile. "Love won't help me." he said bitterly. Simply unable to believe the ridiculous notion of 'love conquering all evil'. It was just a lie people told themselves. Like the lie that every story had a happy ending and the bad guy _always _suffered or died at the end. That would never happen to him, Aizen was sure of it. If love killed evil, why was Jacinto still living within him?

He shook his head, unsure whether to feel bitter or sad. "The sun can't shine the darkness away." he told her, feeling suddenly numb. "What use is love to me in fighting a battle I cannot hope to win."

Kyouga sighed and rose to her feet, setting down her teacup beside Aizen's on the little table. In some ways, he was still that child with no friends.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." she smiled at him, gentleness in her eyes as she looked at him, the desolate ruler of the desolate plains. "And besides that, nobody hates you, they just hate what a mess you made of things, that's all."

Aizen took in a deep breath. His shoulders slumped as he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, thinking.

"I don't think I can ever show my face to either of them ever again."

"Of course you can." his sword told him, possibly with a little too much optimism. "You just... need to be a little more tactful and sensitive. Like that Genji fellow you love to read about."

"Sensitive?" he raised his eyebrows suspiciously. Aizen was never really known for being sensitive. Tactful yes, but only when it came to manipulating. He was known for stepping on toes. Not being compassionate and understanding and 'sensitive'.

"Go and talk to them, Sousuke." Kyouga told him, sighing again. "Heaven knows somebody needs to sort out this mess you're all in, and it can't be me. Now, ask your question."

Aizen thought hard. One question. He got _one question. _There were so many questions he wanted to ask, so much he wanted to know... but in the end he settled with the most important one.

"Is Gin lying to me?" he asked, after a deliberately long pause.

"No."

"Were we happy?" he asked again, pressing for more information. Though he knew he wouldn't get it.

She smiled at him. "That's more than one question."

"But was I?"

She shook her head at him. Some things she could never change...

"You know you are never one to pursue unhappiness." she said gently, keeping her gaze fixed on her master. Secretly hoping that she hadn't destroyed as much as she'd thought she'd destroyed...

_So I was happy... _Aizen thought to himself. _But I don't love him now though... I don't. I don't. What's past is past. If I ever did, those feelings are dead now. Dead and buried. Even if I was happy in the past it doesn't mean..._

He took in another deep breath, letting the information settle in his mind. So Gin wasn't lying, that was one problem sorted. Perhaps the biggest problem...

"Okay." he said, bringing his hands together in thought. "This... clarifies things."

His sword nodded at him, approving of his thoughts. "Now," she said, "I suggest you go and do some damage control, and fix your Demon's mess." She paused, looking at him with concerned eyes, reading his thoughts.

"He needs you, Sousuke. Especially after that."

"I know." Aizen told her, watching Kyouga slowly vanish, receding back into her own world from whence she came.

"Oh, and Kyouga."

"Yes?"

"Thankyou."

"Anytime, Sousuke." She smiled at him. "Anytime." And with that, she vanished.

* * *

Hmmm, i do like my setups. That ending though, not so much. But I love Kyouga Suigetsu: "Shall we have tea?". Because a cup of tea and a talk solves everything. Apparently.

Now, without ruining anything, which is quite hard, since there's a lot of setup here that can be wrecked, my favourite lines here are:

"_What is light to me, one who lives in such darkness? _

_Everything in the world. And everything you love." _

I feel so sorry for him. Well, even at the end i still feel sorry for him. He's too deep in the dark to believe he will ever see the sun again.

And this part when he tries to lie to himself/convince himself of the truth (delete as desired) -

"_If i ever did, those feelings are dead now. Dead and buried. They are dead. Gone. Nothing." _

I sense a lot of lying and deceit going on soon... and a lot of talk about the sun and stars and the moon. (that i should honestly be shot for, really). Remember, Orihime's only had him for a few months at this stage. Gin's eight decades have just suddenly become non-existent to Aizen. I would be upset too.

Oh, and i also like that _tiny little section _about Kyouga Suigetsu making the barren desert bloom into an endless vista. Small but important. Yes.

Hmmm, it is always the little things that make the scenes for me. Never the big dramatic twists – and there are lots of those - its always the little details, the odd little sections that mean something though its never really obvious until later. Those little bits that look like they are just there because i like my pretty imagery but are really not. You will just have to see. And wait.


	57. Looking into a mirror

Chapter 56 of I-don't-even-know-anymore. How do you people write shorter stories? Mine is monstrous, and still growing.

Anyway. Enjoy. As always, the overly abused italics are thoughts.

* * *

**Chapter 56: Looking into a mirror**

Gin was lying half curled up on his bed when Ulquiorra found him. His eyes were empty, and he had a numbed expression as he lay there, looking into space. His white fox was lying in his arms with her white furred body curled around him, as if she were guarding him. _Comforting him, _Ulquiorra thought.

Gin had dressed himself in clean clothes, his current attire being a deep blue yakuta that came down to his knees. Understandably, he didn't want to wear white clothes. At least, Ulquiorra didn't think he would, anyway. He certainly didn't when he'd gone through this ordeal. But then again, it wasn't like the espada had any colourful clothes in their wardrobes that they could change into, so he'd had no choice but to wear white. At least Gin had that luxury of colour in this white world. He supposed Gin didn't have anything on underneath though, but that didn't matter.

Ulquiorra had knocked on the door quietly, waiting only a moment before slowly pushing the doorhandle down and opening the door, quietly walking into the other man's room.

"Gin..." he said calmly, "can I come in?"

Cherry lifted her head and watched the espada as he came into the room, but lay her head back down again between her paws when she saw no threat, and whined softly as a set of emerald green eyes watched her.

The silver haired man nodded numbly, and the espada walked towards him. Making sure to close the door quietly behind him. After all, he was certain the whole world didn't need to see any of this. And neither he nor Gin would appreciate any overly curious people passing by getting themselves involved. Ulquiorra had been in the same position Gin was in now, and from experience, he knew that all Gin would want right now was to be alone and get comfort from somewhere.

That someone would be Ulquiorra.

Gin was lying on his side watching him as he stepped closer to him. Every step the espada took felt heavy and that short walk towards the bed seemed to take an eternity. But the closer Ulquiorra got to him, the worse Gin looked. There were no marks on him, of course. No bruises, no open wounds, no big black eyes that he could see. He just seemed to look... empty. Like something had died inside him. Like his inner fire had been put out.

_His fire is quenched. _He thought._ He who used to burn so brightly. He had so much fire, this one... now, he is so subdued. _

_He doesn't even smile anymore._

"Gin," Ulquiorra asked him, sitting beside Gin's head as he lay there, motionless. "Are you alright?"

"No."

Gin trembled. And Ulquiorra's pale hand reached to touch Gin's head gently. Because he knew that gentle touches were what was needed here.

"Go on then." Gin said dejectedly, not even moving to look at Ulquiorra. His eyes remaining fixated on the wall. "say it."

Ulquiorra was a bit taken back. So much so that he slipped back into his hierarchical instincts, instead of stepping into Gin's world as his equal – which was what Gin needed.

"Say what, Ichimaru-sama?"

"_I told you so." _Gin said, bitterly. I know you want to say it. So go on say it. I'm waiting for it. That I'm a fool. That I brought this on meself..."

Ulquiorra shook his head slowly. His voice quiet. "No."

"Why?" Gin wailed. "You have every right... you warned me of this, but I didn' listen... look, jus' say it get it over with... cuz I know ya wanna say it."

Ulquiorra just looked at him. _Gentleness. _He told himself. _He doesn't need you to argue with him._

"No." he said again, keeping his voice calm and soft. _It will do no good if I am not gentle and reassuring. The gods know I didn't need being shouted at..._

"_Why?" _Gin asked again, his voice cracking. He was fighting tears again, Ulquiorra could see. But if the espada noticed the tears, he paid them no mind. The last thing Gin needed was to be belittled for crying.

_No man is pathetic for crying, anyway. _

"Jus' tell me _why_." Gin sobbed, his hands clutching onto the bedsheets as another breath wracked his lungs. "I know you wanna say it... tell me..."

"Because I know how you feel." Ulquiorra said gently, his hand stroking Gin's head reassuringly. "And therefore I refuse to mock you or say I told you so."

Gin looked at him then. Straight into his eyes, searching for some sort of trap. But there was no trap. Ulquiorra didn't know how to say why exactly he knew. He couldn't find the words to say he'd been in the same dark place Gin was in right now. But he hoped that his eyes would be enough. Eyes were supposed to be the windows into the soul, so they said, and so Ulquiorra had to hope that his eyes would say it for him. But Gin knew there would only be one reason why Ulquiorra would know how he felt...

"You too..." Gin whispered to him, sitting up to look into his eyes as he stared at him in shock. "He hurt you too..."

Ulquiorra looked down, averting his gaze. Even after all this time, it still shamed him to admit it. "Yes."

"It still hurts you..." Gin whispered, stunned by this new revelation. But Ulquiorra just smiled wearily.

"Not half as much as it hurts you right now." he answered Gin. "Do you still hurt?"

Gin glanced downwards, another set of fresh tears sliding down his pale cheeks. "...so much." he whispered. _And he doesn't know the half of it. _

"What about physically?"

Gin quickly glanced away before he answered. Thankful that the espada had the decency to have made the distinction between the physical ache and the mental one. "That's fading now."

Gin leant his head on Ulquiorra's shoulder and closed his eyes. He took in a deep breath and broke down again. "Gods, I've been a fool, and I've been blind... I pushed him... I pushed it too far, I..."

Ulquiorra put his arm around Gin's shoulder and looked at him. "No, Gin." he said quietly, his hand moving to find Gin's head again, then moving to his face as Gin sat up to face him. His other hand moving onto the other side of Gin's face in symmetry. The thumbs on both of his handsgently brushing the tears from his cheekbones while Gin looked at him, as if still searching for some sort of trap. Although he found none; he realised there were no traps here.

_It is as if all the sadness in the world is in his eyes, _Ulquiorra thought, _Indeed, it is a very grim day when the man that always smiled starts to cry. I just never thought I would be alive to see this grim day. I hoped it would never come to this... I hoped history wouldn't just repeat itself._

He sighed softly. This was too much despair, even for him. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing the past... it was too much. Especially when he was the one who always had to pick up the pieces afterwards.

_Why is it always me that has to pick up the pieces of his messes? _He asked himself. _But if not me, then who will? Who will comfort him if not me? _

He felt Gin's arms move to hold onto him, and he looked down at him. With only the softest of smiles gracing his features. When Gin had finally given up and decided to cling to him and rest his head on his shoulder again. While Cherry stood up and moved between them, sitting and looking up at the both of them intently.

_How did it come to this? _Ulquiorra asked himself, _How did it ever come to this?_

He felt Gin's breathing calm beside him as they both sat in silence. Gin was just completely numb, his mind still fogged up by the shock of it. He was sure the man would never be the same again, now.

He pulled Gin's still trembling body closer to him, unthinkingly.

_This is a mess... _he told himself. _Aizen-sama, you have destroyed this man for love of you. What happened between you two? What happened? What did Gin do to you that was so bad you had to go and do __**this**_ _to him? _

He couldn't find an answer though. He couldn't even come up with an answer to why this had even happened. Maybe there was no reason... he didn't know. But all he could do now was hold onto Gin until his body stopped hurting and that ache inside him lessened. And he would stay with Gin. Even if it was just to let him know that someone was there for him. Because nobody had been there for Ulquiorra when it happened to him, and he didn't want someone else to go through the aftermath of Aizen on their own, like he did.

As Ulquiorra held him in his arms, Gin slowly began to drift into a sea of calmness. He had his arms wrapped around cuatras waist, and his head resting on his shoulder. He sighed contentedly, his body being soothed and lulled into a quiet calm. His trembling was gradually beginning to cease, and his breaths were steadying themselves. His heartbeat slowed down. And the surprising warmth of Ulquiorra's body against his was a pleasant feeling against the cold air. But although his body was calmed by the other man's embrace, his thoughts were still erratic and confused.

_Why is he comforting me? _He asked silently, with Ulquiorra's arms still holding him. _Why is he holding me so... so... like _him?

Gin took another deep breath and relaxed. His breaths didn't tremble so much anymore now. Not while the heat of another body helped to calm him.

_It doesn't matter. _He sighed. _I don't care anymore. _

He closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the silence and those warm arms. He wanted to escape, for just a moment... for just a moment to pretend none of this had happened and it was actually Aizen holding onto him like this. That was, until Ulquiorra's quiet voice broke the silence, as well as his escaping to a happier time.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked. Looking at Gin with an expression bordering somewhere between concern and affection. A little bit like the way Aizen had looked at him when Gin had said he was the sun and the stars so long ago. It was... unusual.

"you mean, apart from feeling like I'm pathetic an' aching all over? Yeah. Yeah, much better. Not aching so much now..."

Ulquiorra ignored the bitter, sarcastic edge to Gin's voice. He hadn't come here to cause more trouble after all, and besides, all that conflicting emotion had to be directed somewhere.

"The physical ache is normal." Ulquiorra replied softly, silently telling himself to be gentle. "That will fade, in time. I know so, I have been there."

_And what about the mental aching? _Gin asked him silently, though he didn't dare say anything. _What about the way I feel so used by a man who used to love me? Will that go away too?_

Gin looked away, keeping his eyes fixed on the blank wall he had been looking at before as his head rested on Ulquiorra's shoulder.

"Still feel pathetic though." Gin muttered quietly, while the raven haired man stroked his hair again.

"You're not pathetic, Gin." he said, shaking his head slowly. "You are hurting more than I did. Much more. You loved him."

Gin's glanced up at him, a bit taken back. He'd thought nobody knew. They were so careful... so careful to keep it quiet... even here...

"How do you know that?" Gin whispered, his trembling voice betraying him. "How did you know we were lovers?"

Ulquiorra regarded Gin intently, though his face remained gentle instead of reverting back to the stoic, expressionless mask he usually wore.

_You just told me. That, and it is stupidly obvious._

Ulquiorra let his lips curve upwards into a sly smile. Honestly, who _didn't_ know?

"Even the blind could see the way you looked at each other. That, or I am just very observant."

Gin had to smile then. "I suspect the latter." he muttered.

"Perhaps." Ulquiorra smiled, his face slipping into an unconscious smile, and then continued, as if Gin had never muttered anything. "but there were signs though. Like the way he would look at you, the way he would smile whenever you were beside him, even just standing there. The subtle glances... it was obvious. He did love you, in the past."

Ulquiorra knew that Aizen had loved Gin. It was obvious. How could he not see? The way he looked at Gin... the way he smiled whenever Gin walked into the room... the way he always put Gin's wills above even his own... before even the warplans...

it was obvious if you knew what to look for. So obvious.

Gods he was a fool. _But then again, _he thought, _there are none so blind as those who do not wish to see. I wanted Orihime to be happy, so I ignored the obvious problem._

_I should have said something to her. _

"How long have you been together?" Ulquiorra asked, though hesitant to press the issue. He didn't think Gin would want to talk about Aizen right now. Not after he had suffered this abuse. But Gin didn't move, he just remained perfectly still, almost numb. Void of all emotion except for hurt. Just like he had been.

_His fire has definitely gone out. He just seems so empty now... _

"Eighty years." Gin answered him, his voice hoarse and dejected. His body motionless against Ulquiorra's. His breathing steady.

"That's such a long time."

"Is it?" Gin asked him, while Ulquiorra's fingers moved through his hair, comfortingly. "Time don' mean nothin' to me anymore since I came here."

Ulquiorrra turned to look at Gin again, his green eyes fixated on Gin's breathing. The way his chest rose and fell, and the way his clothes hung loosely off his slender frame. He looked so vulnerable up close.

_It _will_ matter. _He thought to himself. _It will now your time with him has run out. _

He watched Gin take in another trembling breath, and the rises and falls of his chest grow uneven again. He was so close to tears again now that they had spoken of Aizen.

"It just..." Gin began, his voice shaking as he swallowed another sob. "hurts so much." He choked back another sob and tried to breathe. "I can't even tell you... how _much_ he meant to me..."

The words hurt Gin._ he loved you, in the past. _And it really drove it home that perhaps it _was _all in the past now. If that was so, Gin didn't know how much more of this he could take. He sighed sadly. _How has it come to this? _He asked himself. _What did I do that was so bad that things have come to this?_

He whimpered quietly, and Ulquiorra just held onto him. _Gods, was I ever this broken? _Ulquiorra asked himself. _It seems so long ago now..._

He let his arms relax around Gin's body, and waited for Gin to calm down again. _But then again, _he thought, watching as Gin closed his eyes slowly, trying to forget everything but the warm arms holding him. _Gin is in love with a traitor. A Judas. A man who betrays and does nothing but hurt the ones close to him._

_But then again, even Lucifer was once an angel before God cast him down into Hell. Before the bad, there must have been some good in him... there must be._

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply with Gin's limp body in his arms, just trying to make sense of it all.

_You have broken your favourite toy... _he said silently, cursing to Aizen. _I hope you are satisfied. _

_You always expect me to be able to mend everything. But Gin is not a toy I can ever hope to mend. No, should i say Gin-sama is not a toy at all..._

Gin shifted into a more comfortable position on the bed, lying down now with his head on Ulquiorra's lap. Cherry got up again too, and padded over towards Gin, lying down and curling up in his arms again, whining softly. Ulquiorra smiled. He looked just about ready to sleep. And Cherry would keep watch over him.

_If I were with him instead, Aizen-sama, I would never break him the way you have just done. I would never play with Gin-sama the way you do. He's too beautiful for that... too fragile... like a boy made of glass..._

he ran his hand through Gin's silver hair again and sighed, suddenly very tired of Aizen and cleaning up after him. So tired of the world and living in this place, because all it did was bring about misery.

_Frankly he deserves better than you, Aizen-sama. No, perhaps I should stop with the 'sama' now that you have lost my respect. Because it is one thing to hurt me... but not your lover. Not one of the ones who loves you. _

He brushed the hair from Gin's eyes, gazing intently at his pale face. _He really is beautiful... he doesn't realise it, but he is. I wonder, are all the broken ones beautiful? Or are they beautiful because they are broken?_

_I'm broken. He's broken too, now... We're all broken. Emotionally destroyed. Does that make us beautiful?_

He watched as Gin's chest rose and fell in a steady pattern, silently thankful that Aizen was nowhere to be found. He didn't think Gin could deal with a confrontation right now. It would only make things worse, and open wounds that in Gin were only just starting to heal, and in him wounds that were supposed to remain closed. It would accomplish nothing for anyone.

_I am giving him comfort I never had... _Ulquiorra mused, _I hope he realises this as he clings onto me for grim death..._

He sighed wearily again. He was tired. So very tired of all of this. Of seeing history repeat itself. He wished that he could just leave... even dying was better than living in this misery, of watching everyone's lives fall apart around him. But he needed to be here. Orihime and her unborn baby needed him. Gin, right now, needed him. He needed to cling onto something solid, and Ulquiorra was the most solid thing in a world where everything, even love, was fluid. Just like how time was fluid in a world where there were no clocks or timepieces, and the sky was perpetually night. And the only way to measure the days was by the phases of the moon.

_This should never have happened. _He thought, closing his eyes for a moment so he could join Gin in pretending he was somewhere else. _He should have stayed away. _

_But, _he supposed, _Icarus had been warned to stay away from what he loved too; the sky. Gin had done the same, done exactly what he was warned not to do, and it had cost him. _

Ulquiorra sighed, and looked as Gin lay beside him, _Yes. Like Icarus, he had just flown too high. Too close to the sun and the stars. And he had suffered for it. _

A soft trail of footsteps broke his train of thought though, and his emerald eyes flew open just as the doorhandle turned, and Aizen stepped cautiously into the room. It seemed that things were just about to get a whole lot worse.

"Can I come in?" he asked. But Ulquiorra's eyebrows just furrowed.

"Don't you knock anymore?" Ulquiorra spat out as Aizen sheepishly entered the room. "as if its not enough he is in tears because of you, you have to go invade his privacy too."

Gin's eyes shot open. "What's he doing here?" he asked, panic beginning to settle over him. His breathing only starting to become shallow. But as Aizen slowly approached him, taking a couple fo steps forward, Gin's breathing grew shallow and rapid, and he clawed back away from him.

"Get away from me" he screamed at him. "get away from me, get away from me!"

Even Cherry lifted her head and growled at Aizen, making him stop dead in his tracks.

"Gin please," he said calmly, his eyes apologetic. "I just came to talk. To apologi-"

"You just stay _right_ where you are!" Gin cut him off, while Cherry growled again. And Aizen, for once, stood perfectly still, and did as he was told. And waited for the wrath of Gin to descend on him.


	58. Please talk to me

Took a bit of licence with this scene. So usual warnings: OOC-ness, drama, emotional turbulence, violence, bad language, AU-ing, and so on. _This is not a fluff story by design, and like marmite, you will either like it or hate it. _

I did not plan for the violence on Gin's part but I generally just run with it when characters do unexpected things that I don't plan. It's more fun that way. And I was told to write with my gut so thats what i'm gonna do.

Do enjoy. My author babbling is at the end if you want to read it.

* * *

**Chapter 57: Please talk to me **

"Don't come _any _closer." Gin grit his teeth and curled his lips into a snarl, and Aizen froze in place.

"But I just wanted to apolo-"

"You don't _get_ to apologise!" Gin snarled, though his voice was strangled by hurt. He glared right at Aizen, his eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his eyes wide open. "_You_ don't even get to _say anything_."

Ulquiorra's eyes widened at the sudden display of anger. He had no idea Gin has this wide a range of emotion. Although at that moment, he did find himself strangely proud of Gin. He was doing something Ulquiorra had never had the guts to do – unleash his rage upon Aizen for his abuse. He had to admit it, Gin had backbone.

"You," Gin growled, quickly but gently disentangling himself from Ulquiorra's arms and rising to his feet. And when Aizen had the audacity to look shocked, taking a few short, quick paces towards his lover, his chest heaving and his teeth still clenched. His bare feet padding across the white floor as he walked over to him. "Evil, lying-" Gin raised up a hand to smack him on the face, "_pathetic _excuse for a man!"

Aizen didn't look at him when the blow came, when Gin's hand caught his face, but Gin didn't care. Just knowing that would leave a mark there – and possibly a bruise near his eye – was enough for Gin.

Aizen lifted his brown eyes again, looking directly at Gin again. Gin didn't know what he was expecting to see in those eyes, and he certainly didn't know whether or not Aizen regretted any of what he'd done... but he hadn't expected to see the remorse in those eyes. He didn't expect any of the sadness that he saw in those big, brown eyes as Aizen stood there looking at him like a little lost puppy.

"How could you?" Gin asked him numbly. But the real questions didn't get asked.

_Why, sun and stars? _He wanted to ask. _How _could_ you let this happen?_

He took in a quick breath and lowered his hand again. _"Why?" _he growled. "Why did you do this?"

_why did you let your demon do this?_

Aizen didn't answer him. He couldn't. He was just gobsmacked. Minutes earlier – maybe even an hour, he wasn't sure how long ago it was – Gin had been calling him the names of the strongest cosmic forces in the world and telling him he loved him. Now there was just... just this hate. This anger. This verbal abuse.

_But then, _he thought, sadly._ I've brought this on myself, haven't I..._

_Because it's all my fault. I let this happen._

"Tell me, you son of a bitch!" Gin all but screamed at him, waiting for a reply. But still, Aizen did not answer him. Leaving Gin to tremble with rage in front of him.

Gin eyed him coldly. He could have flown at him then. He wanted so badly to fly at him, to beat him and smack him until he was physically exhausted and Aizen actually _understood _what he had done to him_. _He was so angry, so hurt... and he couldn't help but wonder if the gods were being cruel when they had brought him and Aizen together if this was where they would end up. But his body remained rooted to the spot. So instead, he settled for another backhand.

And when Aizen still remained silent, looking at him like a penitent sinner, giving him a black eye. Which he deserved.

"Why?" He asked again, lowering his arm again for a second time. Before finally deciding that if Aizen didn't answer him now, then it was pointless beating the answer out of him.

"You were..." Gin paused, taking in a quick breath, unsure of whether or not to correct himself for the sake of the argument, "...are, my lover." Gin choked out, his voice trembling as it broke the silence. "how could you hurt me? I didn't do anything to you..."

"Gin..." Aizen pleaded with him, reaching out his hand to grab his wrist, but Gin snatched his arm away, having none of it.

"_Don't_ touch me." Gin snarled at him, looking right through him. And Aizen hesitated, although for only a moment, before lowering his arm again.

_Don't touch me. _

Aizen's train of thought didn't just stop at those words. It crashed. He couldn't understand. Why didn't Gin want to touch him? He was demonically possessed. He didn't have the _plague..._

They stared at each other for a few moments. Moments that to Aizen felt like an age. Before Gin finally spoke again, breaking the uneasy silence brooding all around them.

"Look," Gin sighed, his frustration evident in the tones of his voice. "if you're not gonna tell me why, ya may as well just go."

"But Gin, I just..."

"I _said go!"_

Aizen looked at Gin sadly. If there was anything Aizen remembered, anything at all, it was that he hated to see Gin this distraught. This upset. He couldn't explain why, though, but he did. And he wanted to fix it, he just needed for Gin to tell him _how_.

But Gin just looked at him with all the contempt he could muster. "Don't look at me like that." he said, his voice cold. "You _deserved_ that black eye."

Aizen watched Gin look at him, with his pale arms folded across his chest. _Defensive body language. _ Aizen noted. _He's shutting me out... not that I blame him. _But he thought that he had to at least _try _to get Gin to talk to him. Even if Gin _was _shutting him out and refusing to talk.

"Gin, please," he started, pleading for one more time. Holding his hands up level with his chest as if in surrender. _Just for one more time, _he prayed to whatever gods would listen. _Just let my words get through to him just for once, just this one time._

"Won't you at least talk to me?"

_Please listen to me. _

Now it was Gin's turn to not answer.

A moment of silence passed, and a pair of eyes met his gaze. Gin hesitated. Considering hearing him out. It wasn't an obvious hesitation, nor was it very long. But Aizen noticed it. Because it was always the things that aren't said that say so much more than a thousand needless words.

Gin looked at Aizen for a long time, unsure of what to say, stumbling over his words as all the fight from before suddenly left him. All of his hard bravado vanishing with just one look. But then again, Gin hadn't actually looked into his eyes until now. He hadn't actually _seen him._

"I... I don't..." he stammered, until, thankfully, Ulquiorra came in to rescue him.

"I thought he told you to leave." he interjected, keeping his voice calm and casual, his stoic mask sliding gradually back into place. "He doesn't want to talk to you."

Gin glanced over at the dark haired man, who had strode over to stand beside him, shooting him a quick look of silent gratitude. In awe of Ulquiorra's impeccable sense of timing, and how the man was looking after him.

_He's like a guardian angel lookin' out fer me... _Gin mused quietly, feeling Ulquiorra's pale hand rest gently on his shoulder. While Ulquiorra, oblivious, continued;

"I think you should go."

Aizen's gaze traced over towards Ulquiorra, somewhat less than impressed. He sighed wearily. "_Why_ are you getting_ involved?"_ he asked lazily, though his heart was not in it. He didn't even bother to hide his emotions. He was tired, annoyed, sorry, guilty, and shunned by the people he actually wanted in his life. He was not in the mood for this interfering. All he wanted was for someone to actually talk to him like a rational person and just let him apologise for his mistakes. For once he just wanted to apologise and have someone listen to him. Without Ulquiorra getting in the way. Just for one time...

"But why?" Aizen asked him. "All I want is to talk. For Gin to hear me out... why won't you let me talk to him?"

"You know why." Ulquiorra answered back, defiant to the core again. It had been so long since the raven haired man had been this defiant, Aizen knew, and seeing him be this defiant again many years later was like a throwback from the past. And Ulquiorra had been unpredictable even back then. So he had to tread carefully here.

_Don't say it... _Aizen thought, _Don't backtalk, it will just provoke him._

"And besides," Ulquiorra continued, "I don't think Gin is in any place to want to talk after... what happened."

Aizen just looked at him, dumbly. Somewhat insulted. He thought that Ulquiorra should at least say the words. At least put a name to his actions – or rather, his Demon's actions. But then again, even he knew that Ulquiorra couldn't readily speak about it with ease. But even so, he was irritated. If Ulquiorra was going to bastardise him, he should at least name his crimes and bloody well do it properly.

_Don't say it. _He told himself. Fighting with his urge to argue back, but failing. _Don't say it. Don't say it. _

But he couldn't stop himself.

"_What happened?_" Aizen asked, incredulous, raising his eyebrow. "If you are going to publicly _debase_ me, at least tell me what I did wrong. At least name my crime."

Aizen seethed quietly. He knew he was being cruel now. But he couldn't help himself. Okay, fair enough, he did have some part in it. But his Demon hurt Gin, not him. So why was everyone looking at him like he were some sort of monster?

He was just so tired. So tired of looking like the bad guy. He was sick of it. Sick of it.

It was all Jacinto's fault. This. Everything. The Demon was basically taking out his rage for the world on solely him. And since Aizen couldn't take his own anger at his Demon out on the Demon himself, he attacked the nearest one – Ulquiorra.

"Name your crime?" Ulquiorra asked, shocked. "You abused him. Do I have to say it out loud?"

_Aizen, shut up!_

"Yes." Aizen answered, tired, frustrated and angry. Nobody was letting him talk. Nobody was letting him tell his side of the story. Right now he just wanted to talk to Gin, but Ulquiorra wasn't even letting him do _that._ He hadn't even let him talk to Orihime either. "And tell me, Ulquiorra, since you are so intent on bastardising me - what does that make me?"

Ulquiorra snarled quietly. _Good. _Aizen thought. _Silence. _

"At least say the words, Ulquiorra." Aizen pushed again. _At least do it properly if you want to make me look like a monster. _ "What does that make _me?"_

He watched as Gin gripped Ulquiorra's hand quietly. Trying to shut off his ears. But it was no use.

_This isn't going very well. _He thought to himself. _I came to apologise but I'm just getting angry... damn you Ulquiorra, now Gin is going to hate me because of you provoking me..._

"Say it." Aizen spouted, before he could even stop the words. Why couldn't he control his temper? He was just making it worse with his compulsion to put up his defences and push people away with his need to argue back... even when he was just digging a hole for himself. He immediately regretted saying anything, but he didn't expect the raven haired man to look right at him, cold and stoic, and tell him _exactly _what he was.

"Rapist."

Gin lost it at that point. "You _bastard!" _he screamed, letting go of Ulquiorra's hand and lunging for him, knocking Aizen to the floor and attempting to beat the living daylights out of him. Unable to listen anymore. Smacking his lover's head, arms, shoulders, chest... anywhere on Aizen's body he could reach that wasn't obscured by Aizen's arms as he tried to protect himself from the blows. He didn't fight back though, he just protected his head and body, while Gin just raged and screamed at him. Gin deserved at least that much.

"You bastard!" Gin screamed, trying to smack his head, "You bastard!You evil, fucking... _cunt._ you-"

Aizen was numb with the shock of it. Gin usually never swore. He never really lost his temper. And he certainly never raised his hands and fists in violence. Gin was normally so calm, even while being violent and killing people off with Shinsou. And Aizen wondered what exactly it was in Gin that he had broken to make him like this...

Gin was going to hit him again, in the face this time, but thankfully for Aizen, Ulquiorra stepped in and hauled Gin off him, even while Gin still screamed bloody murder at him.

"Gin, stop." Ulquiorra said sternly, calmly pulling Gin off the floor and onto his feet again.

"_How could you?" _Gin screeched, his voice hoarse from all the shouting, but Ulquiorra was deaf to it.

"Gin stop. Stop."

"_Fucking bastard!"_

Ulquiorra had his hand gripping onto Gin's arm as he pulled him off Aizen, restraining Gin with his arms around him as he pulled him away.

"Stop. Stop." he ordered the enraged Gin. But Gin was just seeing red.

"How _could_ you?" Gin wailed, finally seeming to calm down, trying to breathe calmly.

"Gin." Ulquiorra called to him again. "Gin, listen to me. If you don't stop then you are no better than him. Stop. Just stop."

Gin gave up then, in the end deciding to just let his limbs relax and stop fighting. His breaths were harsh and laboured, and he watched Aizen stagger to his feet slowly, just looking at him with pure contempt. With Aizen looking at him like a kicked puppy again.

"Gin?" Aizen asked again, hesitant now. But Gin's expression didn't change.

"Get out." Gin ordered him coldly, as Ulquiorra released his hold on him. His eyes looking straight through him, as if he weren't even there. But Aizen hesitated. He wanted to try and fix this...he just didn't know _how. _Not when he was being shut out by everyone he cared about now.

"Gin, for the love of god," Aizen pleaded, getting more desperate now. "just talk to me."

He looked at Gin desperately. He wanted to talk. More than ever now, he just wanted to talk. Especially now he knew that Gin hadn't been lying to him. He wanted to actually say sorry, and not have his words fall on deaf ears. Because, just for once in his life, he actually _meant_ it now to the lovers he had wronged.

_I know you weren't lying to me Gin, so please for gods sakes talk to me. _

Gin's lips trembled, his composure looking like it were about to break apart while he tried to look at Aizen coldly. He just shook his head numbly.

"Get. Out." Gin ordered again, his voice cold and too calm to mean anything good. And all the resistance and defiance, all of the fight, left Aizen's being in that moment.

_He hates me... _he thought, numbly. Suddenly hopeless._ Kyouga Suigetsu was wrong, they both hate me. _

He said nothing after that. He just turned and slowly left them, turning to look back just once before he walked out of the room. However unwillingly he went.

Ulquiorra just stood there, silently watching the entire exchange. Caught somewhere between shock and awe. He would never have had the guts to do that, never in a thousand years. He would have just crawled into a corner and hid from the world. Gin just went and did the complete opposite. He'd actually raised his hands and fists to him. But then again, Gin had more of a reason to. Or maybe that was just the events of the past weeks brought to an unbearable pitch that made him fly at Aizen like that... or even eight decades of co-dependency going up in smoke. Who knew. All Ulquiorra knew was that Gin needed someone to help him through this, even if he was strong enough to try and physically attack Aizen for hurting him. And he was going to be that person.

"Gin?" Ulquiorra asked him, taking a step towards him. "Are you okay?"

Gin turned his head to face him, a dejected expression on his face. Quite unusual for a man who always smiled... but Ulquiorra couldn't blame him, eighty years of his life lay in ruin.

"Sorry." Gin said quietly, and Ulquiorra saw then that all the fight had gone from him, too. Just like it had left Aizen. _Maybe they were both more alike than they knew. _He pondered. _I don't think either of them wants to fight. It was me who goaded Gin into going for him, whether it was my intention or not._

He looked at Gin sadly, and suddenly became so weary of the whole damn world. They were both dejected and tired... and it made Ulquiorra think that maybe sadness really was contagious, after all. Regardless of anything Orihime would say.

Gin just looked at him dejectedly, as if expecting Ulquiorra to leave him too. "You must think I'm as bad as him."

Ulquiorra had to smile then. Even if it was forced and tired. "I only said that to get you to stop beating the shit out of him." Ulquiorra said softly, moving closer towards Gin. "Because this isn't something that can be solved by you two physically hurting each other."

_And your problems go deeper than that. _Ulquiorra added quietly, but he thought better of saying it. Because Gin didn't need to hear about just how fucked up everything was.

"And giving each other black eyes." he then added, smiling softly as Gin cracked a tiny smile. Sharing a tiny little bit of amusement at Aizen's very recently obtained black eye that made him look like he'd been in a bar fight. "That was quite a shiner you gave him."

Gin smiled wearily and shook his head. "You're not gonna go and make me apologise are ya?"

"No." Ulquiorra said gently, "I frankly think he deserved it. I just wish I'd had the guts to do that after he'd hurt me."

Gin took in a deep, trembling breath, and Ulquiorra – ever sensitive to changes in the situation – pulled Gin into his arms again.

"I just feel so used." Gin said sadly, sounding like he were about to cry. "I couldn' help it..."

"I know." Ulquiorra soothed him, "And you will feel that, for a time." He added, seeing no point in lying to Gin about what would come next after this. Lying accomplished nothing, and just set things up for failure.

"But I'm here, you know," he then said, releasing Gin from his hold and looking at him with the understanding he sorely needed. "if you ever want to talk."

Gin nodded his head in acknowledgement, saying nothing. Turning his head to avert his gaze and avoid looking at Ulquiorra. His head was a mess, he was unsure of whether he was angry or just hurting. He didn't think he would be able to talk to anyone about anything, much less what happened to him. But he said nothing. He was just grateful that at least someone was there for him. That at least someone was looking out for him, and not ridiculing and demoralising him for losing it and smacking Aizen in a fit of rage.

"Are you okay now?" Ulquiorra asked him gently, obviously concerned for him, but Gin just remained silent. Trying not to break down again. Because the last thing he needed to be asked was _'are you okay?', _when everything in his world clearly wasn't.

"No." Gin said sadly, shaking his head slowly, still not looking at Ulquiorra.

"No?"

Gin shook his head again, trying desperately not to cry. "no..."

"But why?" Ulquiorra asked him. There were so many reasons why he wouldn't be okay, so many reasons why nothing would be okay ever again. But Ulquiorra wanted to know the one core reason why Gin was breaking apart that mattered more than any of the other reasons. The actual crux of the issue of why he was falling apart. Because if he knew that, then he could actually do something to help him.

"Because..." Gin said calmly, though his voice was trembling with each breath he took. Finally displaying his vulnerability, and co-dependency on the man who'd just walked out. But he trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words. What could he say to answer that?

'_I still love him'?, 'I need him'? _That the love of his life had just walked out that door?

He hesitated. He couldn't say any of those things without sounding completely insane. Even if they were true. But the truth was the only reason he could give that made any sense. Because you don't just suddenly stop loving somebody after being with them for eighty odd years. Anyone who did was either lying or never loved that person in the first place.

So Gin just told him the truth.

"I need him." Gin breathed calmly, his voice quieting. Because now he'd calmed down and had his moment of weakness, he actually began to realise what had just happened.

"And I've just sent him away..."

Ulquiorra sighed quietly. _And there is the root of the problem. _He thought, _ You love him even though you know deep down that he's no good for you... but then, if you love him, and have done for the past eighty years you've spent with him, that isn't just going to stop, is it?_

He looked at Gin quietly, unsure of what exactly to say. He thought that Gin was insane. That he was an insane, stupid, masochist. And a co-dependent one at that. But he couldn't exactly say that. He was here to be comforting, not to belittle the choices made over eighty years ago. And besides, people did change over time.

He took in a deep breath. _Gentleness, _he reminded himself again, closing his eyes for a moment. Silently reminding himself that for evil to exist, there must be good too.

_Gentleness is what I need here. _

He opened his eyes again, readjusting to the bright light of the room as he looked at Gin, gazing gently at him as he reached up to touch Gin's face. Wondering just how in each of the three worlds he was going to try and fix this without making it worse.

"You want to see him, don't you?" he said, gently brushing his thumb over Gin's cheekbone. While Gin just nodded in response, not even saying a single word.

Ulquiorra breathed deeply, resigned to the fact that he was going to be the one to – yet again – pick up the pieces of another one of Aizen's broken relationships. Hoping to whatever gods existed that he wouldn't just be making things a thousand times worse by trying to.

"Okay." he sighed passively. Not even trying to convince Gin otherwise. It wouldn't get him anywhere and Gin was far too stubborn to listen to him try. Because old habits, as they said, died hard. Especially eighty year old ones.

"Give me ten minutes." he said to Gin, taking a hold of both his shoulders, "I will talk to him. Please, do not do anything stupid like harm yourself while I'm gone."

* * *

right guys, go easy on me, this was a difficult one. So much character development in just one scene... it's been hard to get inside everyone's heads for this. It will probably just get harder too with the next ones.

Anyway. Here's my lowdown: This scene is where we start to see the full extent of Gin's co-dependency. Part of which is him being so emotionally conflicted, and unsure how to even feel. So he just masks it all with anger and pushes Aizen away. It's fairly self-destructive because thats the opposite of what he wants.

Aizen on the other hand, is only just trying to apologise because he feels terrible. Which he should. He is conflicted because everyone thinks he is the evildoer instead of his Demon, and in the end everything just goes wrong because he has this compulsion to have the last words in an argument. But nobody will even talk to him. I'm trying not to bastardise him, but its a very fine line to walk.

Ulquiorra just wants to protect Gin, having been in the same position with Aizen/Demon, and in the end he is the one who has to pick up the pieces of yet another of Aizen's love affairs that went wrong. It is all very complicated and hard to write.

My favourite line here though, simply because it says everything for me, has to be Ulquiorra's thoughts about the root of the problem, where he mentally says to Gin "_You love him even though you know deep down that he's no good for you... but then, if you love him, and have done for the past eighty years you've spent with him, that isn't just going to stop, is it?"_

it just says it all for me. About many things.


	59. I'm nothing like you

Gosh my transitions are _slow. (and that summary summarises nothing)_

I need to get back to Orihime but all this stuff _needs_ to happen first for everything after this to work. So frustrating. I want to be further than I actually am. Can't rush things though, I just have to be patient. Anyway. Enjoy some Aizen/Demon character development.

My favourite line in this chapter is the one in the title.

* * *

**Chapter 58: I'm nothing like you**

Aizen only made it halfway down the corridor and around a corner before he looked back. He could barely believe Gin had beaten him – or at least tried to. But then again, he was pretty much open to believing anything at this point. Someone could have told him that the sky was green and the sun shone in the Land of Eternal Night and Aizen would have believed it was possible, even if not entirely logical.

He stood there for a moment, looking back in the direction he'd come, before sighing and resuming his walk. He thought about turning back. He thought about going back there and grovelling for forgiveness on his hands and knees, but he knew that Gin would have none of it and just send him packing again. Tell him to go somewhere far, far away and not come back for a thousand fucking years. So, reluctantly, he trudged onwards, in solitude. Thinking, that maybe he actually _was_ this horrible person everybody was making him out to be. And that maybe, yes, he _was_ this awful human being who didn't deserve forgiveness.

He couldn't help from thinking it, but there it was. Because he could ignore his bruises, and how much his left eye hurt. But he couldn't ignore those thoughts.

He wasn't walking to anywhere in particular, but his feet took him into the large, spacious kitchen within Las Noches. He usually spent some amount of time here, since he refused to let anyone else make his tea for him – he loathed the idea of someone else's fingers even _touching_ his tea – so it was something like a bit of a sanctuary for him. Not many people came in here during the day, preferring to use the larger, more communal kitchens, so Aizen normally had the kitchen to himself. For the most part, anyway. Sometimes he did have company.

He cast his eyes around the room as he walked in, his gaze lazily sweeping past the spotless marble worksurfaces and the sink, before noting that there was a small stack of dirty plates still sitting unwashed in his otherwise perfectly clean kitchen. He sighed, frustrated. He could not stand mess. Everything had to be clean, spotless, in his space. He couldn't just leave it like this, even if there were only two or three dirty plates sitting on the side. He grit his teeth quietly, damning his compulsion to clean things as he strode over towards the sink and turned on the taps. Then squeezing some washing up liquid into the warm water and shutting off the taps, picking up a sponge and scrubbing both plates in the warm, soaped up water. Scrubbing them viciously to try and get every speck of dirt off them, as if he were trying to scrub his soul clean, while losing himself in his train of thought.

When he was done with the plates, he reached over to the side of him and grabbed a teatowel hanging on one of the chrome drawer handles and then dried off the wet plates. Still frustrated. Both at having this compulsion to clean unnecessarily and at everything else.

_Why is it always __**me**__? _ He asked himself. Though the voice that answered him made him jump. Because it resonated inside his head.

"_Because you made it so."_

Aizen's eyes widened as he set down the towel on the worksurface beside him – slowly. Afraid to make any sudden movements.

_Jacinto. _

"Go away." Aizen said sternly. He was definitely _not _in the mood for this. He just wanted to be alone. And clean the plates. "Why won't you leave me _alone?"_

_The one reason why even in solitude, he would never be alone. _

_Which was quite sad, really. _

"_Are you going to be this whiny all the _time_ now?" _Jacinto asked him, mockingly._ "Gawd. When did you become so boring?"_

Aizen seethed quietly. Why was every day like this?

"Go away." he said again, trying not to grind his teeth. Which was a feat in itself, given how frustrated he was. But he could feel Jacinto's amusement bubbling up inside him, which only bred more anger.

"_Ha." _he laughed, again his voice dripping in sarcasm._ "says the man who wanted me." _

Aizen went rigid with anger. His eyebrows furrowing and his eyes fixing themselves on the wall in front of him. "I was a stupid child." he growled. "I knew _nothing_ about what I wanted."

"_You wanted power."_ Jacinto pointed out, still being candid. _"I don't think children are stupid; they know what they want out of life. But if you think that's what you were, then by that logic you were a stupid child who wanted power that I gladly gave him."_

"Fine then." Aizen said, arguing back. His fingers still gripping the large white dinner plate in his hands as he argued with what was a part of himself. "I wanted power. I will admit that. But I didn't want you to _wreck my life." _

Jacinto laughed. Ever the cynic. "ha! Don't make me laugh!" h he spouted. "you did that yourself the minute you let that whore take your cock inside him. Eighty years ago and then again now. You need to stop thinking with your dick. You don't love him. Perhaps you don't love either of them."

"Lies!" Aizen growled back at him. His reaction instantaneous. Really, did he have to listen to this? Everything Jacinto said was lies.

But Jacinto ignored him. "Ha! Lies you say? If you loved them, you wouldn't hurt them. You wouldn't... I'd say you love neither of them, really, going on how much you hurt them. But it is her you love, really though. Isn't it?"

Something struck a chord somewhere in Aizen's head. Perhaps a raw nerve. And perhaps it was just his Demon's words, but he had to ask himself, _is it?_

But he shook it off. Jacinto did nothing but lie. Why should he listen to a word of it?

"Get out of my head." Aizen said coldly, even though he knew such an order was pointless. "you shouldn't even be speaking to me after what you did. You have no rights..."

Jacinto balked at him. Taken aback. "What _I did?"_ he asked, sounding incredulous. "I would rephrase that if I were you. You see, you and me... we're not so unalike, you know."

_I am your reverse side. _

"What?" Aizen asked, unsure of whether to feel angry or insulted. He and his Demon were nothing alike. Nothing.

"_Oh, you know what I mean."_ Jacinto went on, his overly calm and non-chalant voice grating Aizen's nerves. Aizen could feel his presence, like that of a shadow, closing around him. He could feel it, sense it in the form of a shadow puppet the monster liked to use whenever his reflection wasn't available for him to materialise in. It went cold. He could feel the air around him closing in, making it harder to breathe. And he could feel Jacinto's hands lightly resting on his shoulders, and feel the cold breath on his neck as Jacinto smiled, and spoke three words that made his blood run cold.

Because Aizen knew exactly what he was talking about.

"_You hurt him."_

Aizen's eyes widened in horror, his face expressionless. He was talking about that first smack Aizen had given Gin. Just like the first smack Jacinto gave Ulquiorra...

"That was _your work_." Aizen spat back at him, his anger just boiling beneath the surface. But Jacinto just laughed at him.

"_Haha, oh no. Not that first smack you gave him."_ He said, mockingly. As if stating a very obvious fact. _"That was all you. You hurt him... you smacked him clean across the face." _

Aizen stood completely still, his hands beginning to tremble with his bottled up anger. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the large bone china plate with both hands.

_They were not the same. _

_They were not._

"_Oh yes," _Jacinto carried on, and although he couldn't see him, Aizen could practically hear him smiling from the tones of his voice. _"You hurt him. Just. Like. Ulquiorra."_

Aizen lost it then. He turned, suddenly, raising the plate high above his head and threw it onto the floor and smashing it. Unable to contain his anger.

"I am _nothing _like you!" he shouted, unable to stop himself. Glaring with pure hatred at the Demon. The invisible shadow puppet that only he could see. "This is all _your fault!"_

Aizen's breathing was harsh and laboured. But like always, Jacinto just smiled at him. Giving him a smile that seemed to say, 'no, it is all _your fault.'_

"_Oh. Are you not like me, then?" _he asked, cocking his head to the side, feigning innocence. Which only aggravated Aizen all the more. _"You're becoming more and more like me every day!" _he added, while Aizen just stood there looking at him. Speechless._"We're the _same, _Sousuke. The **same.**"_

Aizen just stared at him, with empty eyes. The words sinking into him.

_We're the same. And I am your reverse side. _

But they were only the same because Jacinto was slowly but surely taking him over. And Aizen knew it. It was only a matter of time now before...

But Aizen shook his head. He didn't want to think about that now. He couldn't. He had to keep resisting and thinking that they were two separate entities. Maybe if he kept thinking that, he would still have a chance. Just maybe...

He shook his head again. "We are not the same." he said coldly. And The Demon seemed to recede slowly back into the depths of his mind again. Smiling, like always.

"_We'll see about that." _he said, fading away. _"We will both see."_

When Jacinto had finally gone, and he was certain he was finally alone enough to think his own thoughts without more disturbance, Aizen slowly slumped down onto the floor amongst the broken fragments of the dinner plate, leaning with his back against one of the cupboards. Raising his hands up to clutch his head, and involuntarily rocking gently back and forth in attempt to calm himself.

He didn't even realise he was doing it, until another voice – Ulquiorra's - pulled him out of his own little world.

"What are you doing?" the espada asked him, interrupting Aizen's quiet muttering as he walked into the room. Aizen immediately snapped his head up to look at him.

"_Nothing._" he snapped. But Ulquiorra stepped closer to him, warily eyeing the bits of broken plate scattered on the floor.

"Who were you talking to?" Ulquiorra asked him, but Aizen just turned his eyes back towards the floor again.

"No-one."

Ulquiorra raised one of his eyebrows curiously. Aizen turned to look directly at him again after a few moments and neither of them said a word. Instead, Ulquiorra just walked calmly and slowly into the room and picked up one of the shards of the plate. He then walked over towards Aizen, again slowly, as if afraid to make any sudden movements. And then, once he was close enough to him, Ulquiorra held up the broken china and showed Aizen his reflection.

Aizen just looked at himself in the shard blankly. Seeing now that one of his eyes was black, with an iris the colour of the yellowing autumn leaves. A Hollow's eye.

"That doesn't look like 'no-one' to me." Ulquiorra said coolly, and Aizen gently reached to take the piece of plate from him.

He stared at his reflection for a moment, staring at himself intently, before throwing the makeshift mirror away in disgust.

_What is this supposed to show me?_ He asked himself bitterly. _That I'm the cursed man who kills everything he touches? I already know this. _

"What do you want?" Aizen asked him, looking at the floor in front of him as Ulquiorra stood over him at full height.

"He wants to see you." Ulquiorra said, sighing. He was so tired of this now... "god only knows why. I think that, like a complete utter idiot, he still loves you. Though I do not think it is wise you be in the same room as him when you are... when you are like this."

_While I have one Hollow-like eye, you mean. _Aizen thought. _While I actually look like a monster. If you are talking like I am diseased. _

Aizen smiled bitterly again.

"I don't have the plague, you know." Aizen said numbly. Sadly too, in a way. "It's not contagious."

"No, perhaps not." Ulquiorra said calmly. "But you are a danger to others and yourself. I cannot let you do more harm."

_Dangerous... _Aizen's thoughts echoed. His anger turning to sadness. _Yes, dangerous. Perhaps I am diseased..._

Aizen sighed softly, unsure of whether to feel sad or angry. Or just numb. He didn't want this. He never wanted this...

"Do you think I wanted this?" Aizen asked him, covering his face so he could see through his fingers. "do you think I want to be like this? Hurting people?"

Aizen looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes, waiting for an answer. He wanted to know if that was what Ulquiorra really thought of him – that he wanted to be this way and 'do harm to himself and others', as he had put it. But Ulquiorra's expression towards him did not change as he answered Aizen.

"I do not know, Aizen-sama."

_He blames me. _Aizen realised, dejected. _Even though he knows. _

Aizen smiled bitterly. "its okay." he said, "You can nod. You can say yes. You think I'm a sadistic bastard who's fucked up in the head, I understand. You think I'm _diseased. _I understand that too. I don't _like_ hurting people, but you can think what you like."

Aizen looked down again, bitter and sad. No pretences at all. No masks. But the espada stared down at him, stoic and unmoved. His mask firmly set in place.

"I hate this." Aizen said, although more to himself than to Ulquiorra. Although he figured that Ulquiorra would be deaf to the words anyway. He probably was.

_How could he understand? _ He thought, and covered his face again, letting out a choked wail of frustration and self loathing, sounding much like a cat being strangled. He couldn't keep doing this.

_He knows nothing. _

Ulquiorra watched him quietly. Numb to Aizen's breakdown. Watching the man silently as the various thoughts circled inside Aizen's mind like sharks circling their prey.

_You hurt him._

_We're the same. _

_This was your work. _

_It's all your fault. _

He took a few deep breaths and calmed himself. Finally lowering his hands and looking up at Ulquiorra, his eyes now gradually returning to their normal colour.

"Can I see him?" he asked quietly, waiting for Ulquiorra to be satisfied with his condition. Namely the condition of his eyes. One of which was heavily bruised.

"Yes." Ulquiorra nodded, still calm and stoic and lacking in emotion. It was as if he had flipped a switch inside himself to suddenly turn everything off and return to his default setting. Aizen got to his feet slowly, and Ulquiorra stood to to wait for him.

"You better come with me, then." he said, before escorting Aizen back in the direction he'd come in. All the while Aizen reminding himself that Ulquiorra didn't understand.

_He knows nothing. _Aizen reminded himself. _He knows nothing. He does not understand. _

_Nobody does. _


	60. The wall between us

59 chapters. A small part of me is not impressed with this length or my portrayal of Gin's co-dependency (please be gentle with the latter if you comment)

Readers who are still here and/or will continue from here - you have the patience of _saints. _It must be said. Even the silent ones. It says and means a lot to me that people are still here at ch59.

Still don't know/remember where you all sit on pairings, but please note this was not designed to be a one pairing story. Just enjoy the drama and you won't be disappointed.

Sidenote – can somebody tell me what the name for Orihime's power is and/or her release commands for it? I do not have my books or the facilities at the moment to re-read the manga to find out. It it needed for later on and it would be very helpful if someone could tell me.

* * *

**Chapter 59: ****The wall between us**

Aizen was unsure of whether to follow Ulquiorra at first, unsure how everything would play out. He hesitated, unsure of whether to go or to stay, his head trying to wrap itself around the latest episode of the soap opera that was now his life. Deciding in the end to go, and let whatever was going to happen, happen in due course. He numbly took a step towards the door, following in Ulquiorra's footsteps. Distant footsteps, he noted, although he couldn't really blame the man for wanting to put as much distance between them as possible. Although despite this, he couldn't help but feel a little dejected for being shunned in this way. Until a not so subtle reminder popped into his head.

_This was your work._

The words bounced around Aizen's head as he trudged back the way he came, stepping over the broken china carefully. He sighed. That was another mess he would have to clear up later. Although, that mess was physical – and physical messes were easier to clear away than metaphysical ones. Like his ruined relationships. He wasn't so sure how he was going to clean up those messes.

_You hurt him. _

He winced inwardly at the words. He had always known it was true – Aizen had hurt Gin in more ways than one today – but to actually hear the words spoken to him just made everything that much more real. Just made it hurt more. Although he wasn't sure if he even deserved to feel hurt right now. If the gods had any sense of fairness, he probably didn't deserve to feel.

He didn't if Ulquiorra had any say in the matter anyway.

But then, the gods were never fair, were they? He could still feel things even if the gods in all their unfairness said that he didn't deserve to.

_And her, too. _He realised. _I hurt her, too. _

His stomach sank, as if feeling the weight of a heavy stone. He didn't really want to think about that now. Frankly just Gin was too much to think about. It was like Jacinto had opened his own equivalent of Pandora's Box and unleashed the negativity of the entire universe upon him. And even if it wasn't, it certainly did feel like it. To him at least.

_We're the same. _

His heart sank further.

Maybe they were the same... if not, then they were now. They both had nothing. No-one.

At least, Aizen wouldn't have anyone if neither Gin or Orihime forgave him. Or at least listened to his apology. If he would even get that far.

Maybe he really _was_ diseased... maybe he _did _have the plague...

Maybe he really _was_ a monster...

No. He couldn't think that way. He was not a monster. He was not. He would do anything, everything, in his power to not be a monster. To not be anything like his demon. And if not, then he would bloody well try. And he decided to start with Gin. He had to start somewhere.

He followed Ulquiorra into the room. Ulquiorra held the door for him. Which struck him as odd, since he was sure that the man hated him. But then again, he supposed it was only so that he could keep a careful watch over him, to make sure that he did not approach Gin closer than was necessary. It was politeness, but it was a forced politeness. And one with an ulterior motive; to protect Gin.

Now, Aizen didn't care what connection to the silver haired one the espada had. They could have even been lovers for all that it mattered to him. All Aizen cared about – really, honestly cared about – was getting Gin to listen, just listen, to him apologise. That was it. And if Gin wanted to forgive him then so be it. But he wanted Gin to not be pressured to shun him by Ulquiorra. It had to be of Gin's own will; his own choice. And Aizen of all people knew how to appreciate being given free will, knowing just how much damage could be done when it was taken away from you.

And he was human, after all. Although the world did seem to forget this.

He stepped into the room slowly, hesitating, almost as if he anticipated another attack. Ulquiorra stood stone faced between the two of them, watching the scene play out. The espada didn't like this at all, but it wasn't like he had any choice. He could not control free will. And certainly not a force of will as strong as Gin's.

Gin looked up when he entered the room. His expression was stoic, unusually so, but there was a certain determination about him. One Aizen feared would condemn him to the deepest of the seven hells.

"Gin?" he asked, cautiously stepping closer to where Gin sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him. But the silver haired man just looked at him, calmly. Maybe too calmly, he thought, as Gin greeted him.

"Aizen." Gin said, looking up at him, his breathing only shaking a little this time. And Aizen was taken back with just how subdued he was now. Frankly, he had expected Gin to rage and scream, question his parentage by calling him a bastard, and call him a derogatory term for the parts between a woman's legs again. He had not expected Gin to be this calm.

He stepped closer to Gin, cautiously. Not saying a single word. _Be quiet Aizen,_ he told himself. _One wrong word here... _

He moved to sit next to Gin on the edge of the bed, being careful to not sit too close. He didn't know what to do next. Should he say something?

"Gin, I..."

"_You be quiet." _Gin spouted, immediately silencing him. Turning his head only slightly towards him, but still keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

"But..." Aizen approached again, his hand reaching out for Gin's, but Gin still made no inclination to move towards him.

"Don't touch me." he said coldly, and Aizen paused. His hand still halfway between them.

"Gin, _please." _he started again, his hand still, afraid to even move it. Unsure of why, exactly, Gin had summoned his undeserving self back here if Gin wasn't even going to listen to him. But he persisted. Hesitantly moved his hand closer.

"Gin, I... I feel awful... I'm so sorry..."

Gin just looked at him. His eyes seeming to look straight through him. "_don't_... touch me." he said, his voice trembling just enough so that Aizen knew that he was not pleased. Although that was probably an understatement of the century.

Aizen softened his voice. "Gin?" he asked, "will you talk to me?"

He made sure to phrase it as a question, made sure that Gin knew it was his _choice _of whether to talk to him or not. If Gin said no now, then so be it. He would leave. He would feel horrible – but he would leave. And then if Gin wanted to seek him out, then so be it. Gin would seek him out. And Aizen would let the fates find their way to either bring them together or push them apart.

He let his hand reach closer towards Gin's again, slowly. His other hand joining it.

"I thought he told you not to touch him." Ulquiorra snapped from the distance. But Aizen ignored him. _So I do not provoke him, _he told himself. _So no more arguments come of this. If Gin wants to object, let him object, I will listen. I will stop. But it must be Gin's will, not his. _

"Gin?" he said again, softly. "Please, will you talk?"

Aizen stole a quick glance at Ulquiorra, but the other man did nothing. So Aizen let his hand hesitantly touch Gin's hand. But almost immediately, Gin jolted, and flinched away from him.

Gin gasped as Aizen touched him, his hand instantly retreating from Aizen's. It was an involuntary reaction, he knew. But he couldn't help but scold himself for it. He told himself that he shouldn't flinch. That these hands felt different from earlier. Softer. Warmer.

He shook his head quickly to relieve himself of those thoughts. The thoughts of flinching.

_These are the hands of my lover. _He reminded himself. _I love him. This aint the demon._

Of course, they were separate entities. Gin knew that. Gin had always known that. He also knew that Aizen was always the willing barrier between the Demon and Gin. The one who kept him safe.

_So why am I flinching?_ He asked himself. Trying to resist looking at Aizen's face. But then he knew.

_From the shock, _Gin realised. _I'm flinching from the shock still... my body betrays me. I want him but my body shies away from him. _

Aizen reached out to him again. But Gin still did not move. Aizen sighed softly, lowering his hands and bringing them away again.

_Even he flinches from me now... _he thought. Dejected despite himself. Despite everything he expected. _Am I doomed to destroy everything I touch?_

He looked at his hands; hands that seemed only capable of destroying. He wanted so much to say he was sorry. But what happens when sorry isn't good enough? What happens then?

"I'm so sorry..."

Gin looked at him, then. He'd avoided doing so until now, for fear of what he would do. Whether he would lose it again. But now he looked. He met those eyes again. And all of his lover's protective masks came off in that moment. Letting Gin see his weaknesses. His hurt. The guilt and apology.

And Gin's resolve caved in.

Like always.

"Will you forgive me?"

He could have said yes, then. He could have, so easily, but he didn't. He did think about it. How easy it would have made things. But Gin just shook his head slowly, not saying a word. He fell in love with a caring, compassionate man... not the monster who did this to him. And Aizen was not that monster now. He knew that. But that didn't stop it hurting. It didn't stop him knowing that it was the man he fell in love with who let this happen.

Aizen raised his hand up to Gin's face, gently, so they could look at each other. So they made eye contact... his thumb resting lightly on Gin's cheekbone.

"Please?"

Gin's lips trembled. "I don't think I can." he whispered, his voice trembling with his body as he spoke. "I don't..."

"But why?" Aizen asked, his guilt giving way to desperation. But for all the wrong reasons. He wanted forgiveness. Gin wanted love. Gin could have read the signs all wrong... "Dear gods Gin, tell me... talk to me. Don't shut me out like this."

Gin tried to resist. He tried to keep it together and not let him in again, but it was hard. Damn it, if Aizen were more heartless about it all, it would have been that much easier to hate him for it. But no. he had to come and apologise. And once again remind Gin why exactly it was that he loved him.

_Damn that man..._

"Ulquiorra..." Gin swallowed, trying to maintain his calm. "can you leave us?"

"_What?"_The espada gaped. Stepping closer. "No."

"Please?" Gin added, but Ulquiorra would not relent.

"No. No, I refuse to leave him alone with you. And you-" he turned, addressing Aizen, who promptly withdrew his hand from Gin's face, "You don't touch him."

Ulquiorra stood his ground. He couldn't leave them alone together. He couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. He didn't care if Gin loved him, not even love was worth that risk of leaving them alone together. What if it happened again?

"Please." Gin pleaded, taking Ulquiorra's hand in his as he stepped closer, closing the gap between them. "Please, just five minutes. Five minutes, I promise nothing will happen."

Ulquiorra just shook his head, looking at Gin pleadingly. Afraid that if he left them together, Gin would just get hurt again. Both emotionally and physically. "I can't."

Gin took a deep breath. "please." he begged. "He can hurt me no more than he already has. What more can he do to me?"

He looked right into Gin's eyes then, taken back by Gin's sudden determination to face Aizen on his own. Much like the determination he'd had when he stood up against Aizen before.

_He has already taken everything from me. _He remembered himself saying._ I have nothing more to fear from this man. _

Gin was saying the same. Just in different words.

_Do I do what Gin wants or what is for the best? _He asked himself, sighing. _Do I have a choice?_

"Just five minutes." Gin said to him again. He wanted this, needed this. And for a moment Ulquiorra was torn between leaving and staying. He wished he could do both. He wished that doing what Gin wanted _was _what was for the best. But no. That was asking too much.

But he was worried that Gin leaving Aizen – really leaving him – would be like trying to kick a century long drug habit. Because Aizen was Gin's drug to which he was firmly addicted.

And old habits died hard.

Was love a drug, he wondered?

He could only hope Gin would kick the habit if it was. And not stumble blindly back into Aizen's arms in need of his next fix of his drug. But then, what did he know of love? What was his small time with Orihime learning what love was compared to Gin's eight decades with Aizen actually _knowing _what love was.

But if love was indeed a drug, then what if Gin was one of those addicts that didn't want to go to rehab and get clean?

It was a sobering thought. But a possibility.

Gin smiled wearily at him. "it's okay."

Ulquiorra hesitated, _do what he wants or what is for the best? "_are you sure?"

Gin squeezed his hand in response, trying to banish the raven haired man's doubts. "Yes."

Ulquiorra sighed deeply. _I don't have a choice, do I?_ "Okay." he said, suddenly so very tired again. Too tired to even fight and argue now. It was like trying to stop the tides. Trying to stop the moon from going through its phases. "Five minutes. No more."

Gin smiled again at him, still holding onto his hand. "thankyou." he said softly, although he looked like he were about to cry again. Although he supposed that was natural. It had been natural for him, at least. What other reaction was there?

Ulquiorra moved towards the door again, seething. He cared for Gin, but if anything did happen he didn't think he would be able to contain himself. "Okay," he said, "I will go. But _you-" _he stopped, squaring up to Aizen, "if you so much as lay a _finger_ on him..."

"I won't." Aizen said, his face expressionless. _Gods Ulquiorra, anyone would think I were a fucking schizophrenic and unable to control myself. _He sighed spoke calmly, despite his urge to scream bloody murder at him for thinking he had the he had a feeling that Ulquiorra wouldn't believe him even if a polygraph - a lie detector – said that he was telling the truth.

"I won't touch him." he said, breaking the silence as Ulquiorra stared at him. A lie. He wanted to do nothing but touch him. Physically comfort him. But Aizen was good at lying. Perhaps that would be his downfall one day – that he was too good at lying – but for now he just hoped that would give him some time to rebuild at least _some_ of what he had destroyed.

"Fine." Ulquiorra answered. "I will go."

Gin squeezed Ulquiorra's hand and smiled wearily. "Thankyou." he said quietly, and Ulquiorra couldn't help but to squeeze Gin's hand in return as he left.

…

When Ulquiorra had gone, Aizen let out a small sigh of relief. _Good, we can talk now. _He thought.

He turned his eyes to Gin again, dragging his eyes from the doorway. Gin's expression was unreadable. Such a drastic change from the Gin he remembered. If that was the real Gin at all. There was still so much he didn't remember. So much he still didn't know. So much that nobody was going to tell him.

Aizen looked at Gin sadly. "Why, Gin?" he pleaded again. "Please tell me."

_Which of my many sins is the unforgivable one? Or are they all unforgivable?_

Gin turned his head to Aizen sharply. _"Because."_ he started, "You hurt me Sousuke. You... _hurt._ me. The one thing you swore to me you would never do. You swore that you would... _never_... do this to me."

_And I'm not just talking about the physical pains._ he added silently. _I'm not just talking about what that bastard did to me. I'm not even talking about you forgetting me, that's happened before. I'm talking about... _

Aizen's face paled. He didn't have to remember the past decades to know that much.

He said nothing. Denial was pointless. He was as much to blame as his demon. If not more so for letting it happen.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Gin wailed. "all I ever did was love you."

Aizen just listened, quietly letting it all sink in.

"Eighty years down the toilet... in the space of ten minutes." Gin continued. "_The longest ten minutes of my life."_

Aizen remained silent as Gin continued, watching as he took deep calming breaths as he spoke. Blaming Gin was pointless too.

_This was your work. _Jacinto mocked him._ All your fault. All your fault._

"You hit me..." Gin told him, his voice betraying his hurt. His bitterness. "of sound mind."

Aizen's mind recoiled. Those three words just made what he'd done just that much worse. Because he knew it then; it was not the abuse from the hollow that bothered Gin. What hurt Gin the most was the fact that Aizen hit him while of sound mind and body.

"Dear gods..."he gaped. Jacinto just laughed at him.

_Your work, Sousuke. _He cackled. Grinning. Amused. _Your work. _

"Forgive me."

_Or have I gone too far this time? _

Gin lifted his eyes to his, and just looked at him, incredulous. And somewhat empty. Like his fire had gone out. And it was clear to him in that moment that Gin would never be the same again.

_He's so..._ Aizen started, unable to finish even his thoughts. But Jacinto finished them for him.

_Broken, yes. _Jacinto mocked, _just like all your other toys._

Gin said nothing to him, only stared blankly at him. And inside, Aizen shook his head. _Fool, _he told himself, _how could you think he would just forgive you? _Although, he had to try though. He had to be able to say that he tried everything before he gave up.

"Do you know what point you became lost to me? Do you?" Gin asked him, his voice wavering again, his eyes turning fully towards his lover's. "Your eyes." he said simply. "It was when I saw your eyes. You were lost to me when I saw those eyes..."

_Although its not much different now. _Gin thought bitterly. _You're still lost to me._

"It wont happen again," Aizen protested. "I swear it."

But Gin just shook his head.

_And you'll be lost to me for a very long time._

"But you hit me." he said calmly. "You lost your temper with me and _you hit me._ Let's say I forgive you, what then? Will you just hit me again? What if there's a next time? What is there to stop you?"

"I know..." Aizen sighed. Pleading his case. "and I'm _so_ sorry. I just... I never meant for this to happen. I must be... a horrible person. There was no need for me to hit you. No need. I just lost my temper... and everything just got out of control."

_And it was all Jacinto's fault._

Gin could have laughed at his nerve. _"__Please."_He spouted._** "**_That is a _pathetic excuse!"_

"I know." Aizen told him, desperately. I_ know it so well._ "but I am not making excuses for what I did. I just came to apologise for hurting you."

Gin eyed him coldly, unsure of how to react. Unsure of whether or not to believe him. But Aizen continued regardless.

"Just because I don't love you, doesn't mean I don't _care_. Idiot." he said gently, reaching out for Gin again. Sighing again when he got no reaction. "not that you will listen to me telling you that."

"Stop being so compassionate." Gin snapped, pulling his hand away. "It would make it easier for me to hate you."

_Stop being that man I fell in love with. _

"Do you want to hate me? " Aizen asked, incredulous. "Hate me, if it will make it easier. Rage and scream at me. Tell me to leave and I will go. Tell me to get out of your life and I will leave you. Will that make this any easier for you? Because believe me, I feel just as awful as you do."

"Don't you think I've _tried_ that?" Gin asked him, sarcastically. "asking you to leave? I tried that, and obviously, it didn't work. Because eight decades Sousuke – eight decades of my life – isn't just going to go away. It isn't just going to disappear."

_I'm not just going to stop loving you._

"I know, Gin."

Gin laughed. "No you don't. You have... no idea. No idea what you've done to me."

Gin's breathing was laboured and heavy. The strain was immense, just being in the same room with him. But he had to clear the air. Things couldn't go on like this. Whether he stayed or left him, something had to be done.

"Gin..."

_Gin, _he thought, smiling bitterly. _he still calls me Gin. In that same soft voice like before... he knows who I am, at least. But he still doesn't __**remember **__me. Why wont he remember?_

He sighed, suddenly very tired. All he needed to hear was for him to say _'I love you and I'm sorry.' _He wasn't even going to get that.

"Gin, please..." Aizen pleaded, taking his hand. "will you forgive me?"

Gin just shook his head numbly at him. He couldn't keep doing this. "I don't think I can." he said sadly. "I love you. But... I can't forget this."

Aizen let out a deep sigh. "no-one is asking you to." he said gently. "forgiveness is not forgetting, Gin."

Gin smiled cruelly at him. Deep down he still deeply resented Aizen for his amnesia. And not just this episode of it. Because this wasn't the first time it occurred, and neither would it be the last. "but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" he asked rhetorically. "About forgetting."

Aizen glanced downwards. Of course, it was true. Even if it was uncalled for for Gin to say so. And Aizen knew that Gin wouldn't ever forgive him for that.

_Fool._ Jacinto told him, all but cackling in the background. _You thought he would just forgive you? _

Jacinto laughed darkly, and Aizen could feel his Demon's invisible hands on his shoulders. _The sun will shine in the Night Land before he forgives you for this. **Really** forgives you._

_And I don't mean just about hitting him. I mean the Forgetting too. _

Aizen winced inwardly. Where is a time machine when you really need one?

Or a machine to make the real sun shine in the night land instead of an artificial one. To make the impossible happen.

"Look," Aizen started again, "I care about you. And I'm so sorry. For this. For everything."

_I am human being. Humans make mistakes. Don't they? _

He then smiled gently at Gin, softening his voice. "Even the forgetting."

_Isn't that why they put those little erasers on the ends of pencils... for the inevitable mistakes?_

_And even gods forgive. _

Gin remained silent, and he sighed. _There. I've said my piece. _He told himself. _And now I must let the fates find their way. _

"I am a horrible person."

Gin raises an eyebrow at him. "are you?"

Aizen kept his voice calm and soft as he spoke. "yes."

Gin looked at him, confused,angry and incredulous. "Which one? that you're a horrible person or that your just really sorry?"

"Both." Aizen answered. Seeing no point in denying either. He was already seen as a monster anyway. He may as well be a horrible person on top of that. "I'm a horrible person and I'm really, really sorry that any of this even happened."

Gin studied his face for a long time. And Aizen willed Gin to listen to him.

_Just let him listen to me. _He pleaded, _Let him hear me, to all the gods that exist, just let him hear me that I. am. Sorry. _

"Say that again." Gin said, and Aizen was somewhat surprised that the gods had listened to him.

"I'm really really sorry about everything?"

_No,_ Gin thought, _the bit about you still caring. _

"Are you?" he asked, "really?"

Aizen nodded, and Gin continued to stare intently at him. As if searching for something. Looking for any traces of the Aizen he'd already lost.

_Sun and stars..._ he thought sadly, _you're not in there, are you? _

_You're not here with me now. Not really, anyway. Because the lover I knew would hold me. He would tell me he loved me. That this would never happen again. He would be on his hands and knees _begging_ me for forgiveness. He would be having a breakdown about now. _

Gin stared intently into Aizen's chocolate coloured eyes, searching. Searching, but not finding. He sighed sadly, his breaths trembling. His hands wanting to search Aizen's face in the futile hope that he would find some part of the lover that was lost to him.

_Sun and stars... _Gin looked into his eyes again, yet finding nothing. _you're really not in there..._

Aizen just looked at him sadly. "Yes. He said. "I'm sorry. And I swear to you - even if you don't believe me – that this will never happen again."

"It better not." Gin told him. Because somewhere Ulquiorra was hoping and praying that Gin wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.

"It won't." Aizen assured him.

Gin paused for a moment, thinking. He could hear Shinsou at the back of his mind, urging him on. Urging him to let this all go and move on. And for the first time, Gin considered listening.

_Let him go._ He heard Shinsou plead, _Let him go. I cannot watch you suffer. I _will_ not watch you suffer. Let go, let him __**go.**_

But Gin didn't listen, in the end. Sadly, Gin never listened.

"Good." he said. "Because I leave if this happens again. I betray you. I leave. I tell them where you are and _they will come for you."_

it was not even a veiled threat, but an empty one. Because Gin knew that he could never betray the man who – in outward appearance at least, if not in mind – was his sun and stars. He just hoped Aizen wouldn't see through the empty threat. Which, thankfully, he didn't. Thankfully Aizen's guilt was a wonderful distraction from his obvious lie.

Aizen sighed, relieved. "it wont." he said again. Getting more confident that it wouldn't happen again with each time he repeated it.

"Are you sure now?" Gin asked him, hesitating, though only for a moment.

"I promise." Aizen said again, "it won't."

"But how do I know though?" Gin asked him, his doubts getting the better of him. But Aizen just smiled warmly at him.

"Trust me." He said. Although that didn't stop Gin feeling the wall between them. The great gulf that now separated them. And Gin knew his choices: _Trust me, or let me go._

Not that Gin had much of a choice, though. It wasn't like he could live without him.

"Do you promise?" Gin asked him again, for his own benefit if nothing else. To assuage his own doubts. Because as he's said before, that eight decades of his life, of loving this one man, wasn't just going to go away. It wasn't just going to stop just because he willed it to.

"I promise it." Aizen answered. And it was an honest answer.

Gin smiled. He smiled a very tired, world weary smile. They both wanted to touch each other then. Gin desperately wanted to touch his lover's face. Aizen wanted to physically comfort Gin and banish his doubts. But neither of them moved. There was a wall between them now, an invisible wall. So in the end, Aizen settled for placing his hand over Gin's. And Gin settled for curling his fingers around Aizen's hand.


	61. With a heavy heart

a long one at 4667 words. You may want to put on some coffee.

ch60. The halfway point. And the most challenging chapter to date for varying reasons. Will probably correct myself on this statement later though. I am not looking forward to the childbirth scene at all.

Nonetheless, i'm starting to feel like i'm actually getting somewhere now. Perhaps its the perspective change. Anyway. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 60: With a heavy heart **

When Orihime woke up again, she found that the artificial sun had already set, and her eyes were sore from crying. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the newly found darkness surrounding her. _When did it get so late? _She wondered. _Did I sleep for the whole day?_

She eased herself up onto her elbow and looked around her. It was so dark. And she had slept for so long that she felt like she should be wide awake, but the truth was, she was exhausted. Perhaps it was the emotional strain, or the physical effects of pregnancy – being tired and drained – but she felt like she could just lie there in bed all night quite easily. Nobody expected her to really do anything, and she didn't have to do any chores or work, so she basically had all the time in the world to herself. She sighed heavily. She hadn't even bothered to take off her clothes before she fell asleep. But she supposed that was one of the least of her worries, given all that had happened. But still, she shook her head. She couldn't go back to sleep like this. Although all the while her subconscious quietly chastised her for thinking of such small matters when her life had just crumbled all around her. But in her defence, she really didn't feel like she had the strength to think about anything else. Much less the latest events. Even less her lover.

She lifted her legs up slowly and moved to sit on her bed with her feet dangling over the bed, slipping her feet down slowly so they touched the cool floor beneath her, shuddering slightly at the touch of the cold white marble.

_Her lover... _should she still think of him as her lover, she wondered. Or had that bridge been burnt already, never to be crossed again? She couldn't help but wonder. Couldn't help thinking that maybe, just maybe, she didn't want to burn that bridge just yet. But then darker thoughts crept in, and soon she was hearing that little voice inside her head putting her down again.

_Ha! Who are you kidding? Of course he's not your lover! If he loved you, he wouldn't be sleeping around. You're just a vessel to carry his baby. _

Orihime sniffed. She wanted to cry at such thoughts. Even though they did have some truth in them, and she knew it – they still hurt.

_You're not good enough for him. He obviously loves _him _more. What are you compared to Gin?_

_Maybe you should just leave._

She let the tears fall. Let loose more tears from what she thought was an already exhausted supply. What else could she do? It all boiled down to one thing, one thought:

_you're not good enough._

Aloud sob wracked through her body. How could he do this to her? And while she was carrying his child... what kind of man was he? She sniffed, breathing deeply for a moment to gather herself, before raising her hand to wipe her nose with the back of her hand. Thinking in hindsight that when Ulquiorra had asked her if she needed anything when she first came here that she should have asked for some tissues. Because they would be very useful right about now.

She sat very still for a moment, lost in her less than positive train of thought before she got up off the bed and walked towards her drawers that had been provided for her, pulling one open and rifling through it to pull out a long sleeveless nightdress to sleep in, and setting it on the bed. She shut the drawer again and then started to take off her clothes, until she stood in the middle of her room, naked in the moonlight. The moon illuminating her skin and giving her a serene glow.

She would have changed quickly into her nightdress, but the sight of her newly pregnant body stopped her.

She glanced at the mirror, slowly taking a few tentative steps toward it, and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked her body up and down – her well endowed breasts, her wide hips, her face, her hair, waist and shoulders... and finally, her stomach. She took another step closer to the mirror. She could see her stomach was beginning to grow larger. She could see the gentle swell in her belly where her child grew inside her. She glanced down at herself, having thought of her child again, and moved her hands to where her stomach swelled. To her womb. She sighed softly, turning to the side so she could see how large her stomach was compared to before, examining herself in the mirror again, trying to imagine what her body would look like when she was large with child. Would she still be pretty? Everyone had told her at school that she was pretty, but she hadn't believed them. Would Aizen still think she was beautiful? Did he still love her lush curves? Or did he prefer the lean lines and slim hips of his lover?

She shook her head slowly. How could she still be thinking of him? She turned her thoughts back to her child again, trying to imagine what it would look like. She had always wanted a family of her own, and having a baby was everything she had imagined in her future. But when she looked in the mirror at herself now, she felt that something was missing. There was no man – no husband or lover – standing beside her to love and support both her and his child.

She started to cry again. More tears falling down her face from what seemed to be an inexhaustible supply. _Why did it hurt so much? _She wondered. _Why?_ She knew the truth from the beginning, but she had just been too blind to see it. Or maybe... maybe it was because she actually _had_ fallen for him after all. The evil man. The Judas. The traitor. Yes, 'The Traitor' sounded about right... that summed him up perfectly. But even so, why did she feel like there was a gaping hole in her heart now that she had shut him out and cut off contact with him?

She sobbed. The answer seemed so stupidly obvious now...

She gasped quietly, her chest rising and falling unevenly as she took in her next, trembling breaths.

"I miss him." she whispered, and finally looked into her own eyes reflected in the mirror, looking for an answer. But her reflection held no answers. No signs of what to do or how do do it. No answer to the question; _what do you want, Orihime?_ She looked, but there was nothing. Her reflection looked just as lost as she did.

She stood there staring at herself in the mirror for a while longer, before giving up and sighing sadly. She would find no answers tonight. Nor any night. She ran her fingers through her long hair and stepped backwards, intending to find her nightdress and change, but the sound of the doorhandle squeaking as it turned downwards made her jump. She turned her head suddenly, her eyes locking on the door.

"Who's there?" she asked, trying to sound threatening, but her voice gave her away. So she sounded about as threatening as a mouse. More scared than threatening. And there were no locks on her door, so anyone could come straight in if they wanted to.

"Who is it?" she asked again, sounding a bit more bold this time, keeping her eyes on the dark figure who had come into her room.

"It's just me." the figure replied, and Orihime knew at once that it was a man.

"Ulqui?" she asked, straining her eyes to see in the darkness. _Yes_, she thought, taking one step towards him. Once she had determined who the figure was. _Yes, it is Ulqui._

"Orihime?" he shut the door quietly and stepped towards her, moving slowly. He saw her naked body, but she didn't look away from him. She just kept her eyes trained on his face, and how the mooonlight gave him a soft glow, too. She was not ashamed now. She didn't care if he saw her naked. He had made love to her before anyway, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. Under any other circumstance, she would have felt humiliated to have him see her naked. But Aizen had already humiliated her, so really, what did she have left to feel ashamed of?

She watched him step closer, a calm expression on her face. He didn't even pause, he just walked calmly over to her, his eyes looking into hers. He smiled softly as he approached her, and though she was completely naked, he only looked at her face, his hand moving to caress her cheekbone as he stood in front of her. She smiled back at him.

"Are you crying?" he asked her, his voice calm and soothing. Full of concern for her. Like he was worried she would shatter into a thousand tiny pieces if he touched her for too long. Like she would turn to dust and blow away with even the slightest breeze from the desert outside.

His eyes bored into hers, their tenderness overwhelming. She looked down, quickly wiping her eyes with her fingertips to erase the evidence of her earlier weeping.

"Umm," she sniffed, "No. I..."

She was about to say '_I'm not crying', _but that would have been an obvious lie, and it was too late to try and cover up her tears now. Not when he could see that her eyes were blotchy and sore, and her still-trembling voice was still giving her away.

"It's okay." Ulquiorra said to her, brushing his thumb lightly over her wet cheekbone, raising her face so their eyes met again. "You can cry. You wouldn't be the first one he's made cry. And I doubt you'd be the last, either."

He paused for a moment, his smile fading away to a look of gentle concern and love. His eyes softening towards her as he studied her face. His hand moving down to rest on her stomach where her unborn child grew within her.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, his voice quiet, his hand still on her warm body, on her soft skin. And he wished, in that moment, that it was his child inside her.

Orihime looked at him, breathing calmly, and placed her hand over his on her stomach. He was looking at her with love, a love that had nothing to do with physical intimacy. She knew this because she was naked, and his eyes could look anywhere – see everything – but his eyes were fixed on her face. And only her face. The same way Aizen looked at her. Although she didn't register that until now, when she didn't want to think about him.

Maybe she already had fallen in love with him. Maybe she still loved him now. But right now, with Ulquiorra looking at her, she couldn't articulate anything.

"I'm fine." she said to Ulquiorra softly, lowering his hand from her stomach. "but I need to dress."

He nodded, and watched her as she walked back over to her bed and pulled her nightdress over her head. It was the same nightdress he had seen her wear when they first fell asleep together. Although he smiled at the memory, his mind was still elsewhere in its deeper thoughts. He could not think solely of her while his mind chattered away with doubts about the place he had just come from.

_Should I have left them together? _He asked himself. _Did I make the right choice?_

_Is there even a _right_ choice?_

He sighed heavily. Still so heavyhearted by all he had seen. Why was everything so broken? Him. Her. Gin. Countless others. He realised that this feeling of helplessness, of watching the lives of the broken, was probably what Orihime felt before, when she watched him fall apart. He wondered idly if she felt the same desire to comfort and protect them, and make the other's pain go away. He wondered if he could ever make the pain go away. His, hers, Gin's – anyone's.

But he was one of the broken too. And the idea began to dawn on him, now, that broken things cannot fix other broken things. As hard as he tried. Because once a human being is broken, there is no way to unbreak them.

He wondered if Gin would still remember the first smack however many months down the line. Because Ulquiorra remembered his first smack too. And that was months ago, when Orihime was first brought here.

He remembered it so clearly. When he had tried to delay the inevitable to protect Orihime.

"_She's not coming." he'd said to Aizen, when he'd asked Ulquiorra to bring her to him. "she doesn't want to see you."_

_It was an act of pure, open defiance, and he knew it. But he didn't back down. He had to protect her at all costs. Aizen – Jacinto – would just hurt her if he didn't do something to stop it. _

_Aizen had been sitting in his chair, facing away from him when he spoke, when he told him the girl wasn't coming to him. But Ulquiorra was sure there was quite a disapproving expression on his face. Even when he couldn't see it. _

"What?" _Aizen said, and slowly turned to face him. Although when Aizen turned to face him, he only saw Jacinto's eyes. Black as sin. The demon had only taken the space of Aizen saying one word to take over. One word. _

"_Why isn't she coming?" Jacinto asked him, s pleasant smile on his face. Even though Ulquiorra knew that smile to be _far _from pleasant. "I told you to bring her to me."_

_Ulquiorra hesitated, unable to answer. The fear had already took a hold of him, rooting him to the spot. _

"_Oh, I get it!" Jacinto carried on, rising from his chair and slowly pacing towards his frozen servant. _

"_You're trying to protect her, aren't you? You think I'm going to _hurt _the poor thing."_

_Jacinto smiled, then. A very foreboding smile. And he knew it then. _

_He gasped. His thoughts coming to an abrupt stop. _

Jacinto knows.

"_Do you want to fuck her?" Jacinto then asked Ulquiorra, matter-of-factly. As if it were a usual thing. But fear had Ulquiorra by the throat now. Jacinto knew. He knew!_

_When the espada didn't answer, Jacinto just continued his inquisition. Jacinto's Inquisition... he would have laughed if he weren't so frightened. _

"_Do you want to touch what is mine?" The Demon's smile widened, "You **do**, don't you?"_

_Ulquiorra swallowed hard. This was it. He had to stand up to him. Now. Before it was too late and Orihime got hurt. If Jacinto laid a hand on her, he wouldn't forgive himself..._

"_She's not yours." he spat back at Jacinto, defiantly. "She isn't property. She isn't something you can **own.**"_

_Jacinto fell silent for a moment, letting the tension settle between them._

"_Are you defying me?" he asked, striding very slowly and casually towards his servant. Keeping his tone polite, though with a very threatening undertone that said, _'be careful... be very, very careful.'

_Ulquiorra took a deep breath before he responded. Now or never..._

"_Yes." he said sharply. But as soon as he'd uttered the word, Jacinto had smacked him and knocked him to the floor. Then knelt over him and grabbed a fistful of his raven coloured hair and pulled. Hard. _

"_You want to touch what's mine, do you?" he asked, his lips curling into a low snarl. Smacking him again and pulling his hair so Ulquiorra had no choice but to look him in the eyes. _

_That first smack that become two when he didn't answer. Then three. _

"_You don't touch what's not yours. Didn't anyone-" Then another smack to the ribs. "_teach _you that?"_

_Then another smack. And another. Jacinto was beating him bloody. He couldn't stop it. Fear had him again, and Jacinto had his hand around his throat so he could barely breathe._

"_You think you can steal from me, _boy?" _Jacinto smiled, and Ulquiorra felt his blood run cold. "Mark me, boy," he said coldly, his eyes boring into Ulquiorra's, "you _will _be punished for this." _

_Ulquiorra tried to move, but pain filled his body. He was immobile. And at the Demon's mercy as he continued his onslaught. Finally coming to a stop when Ulquiorra thought he might just about die. But Jacinto just pulled his hair up again, pulling him only centimetres away from his face._

"_You will never..." Jacinto breathed, yanking on his servant's hair, "disobey me again." _

_And with that, he threw Ulquiorra to the floor and got to his feet. And after kicking his ribs for good measure, left him to find his breath again. _

But that wasn't how it started. No. Jacinto had waited until he was alone and unsuspecting before he broke him completely. That's what the Demon did, he waited until you were the most vulnerable to attack. And then he took what he wanted. Jacinto chose his moment when Ulquiorra had stepped out of the shower to clean the blood from his beating off him. He waited until Ulquiorra was unsuspecting and vulnerable, and then he'd fucked him against the wall and walked out laughing.

Ulquiorra shook off the memories. But he shuddered inside at the word he'd used. _Fucked._ He could still hear Jacinto say it to him. _'how does it feel to be fucked?'_

Even now, he still remembered. He remembered how he'd squeezed his eyes shut, just waiting for it to be over.

He remembered how his legs had refused to support him after Jacinto left him.

He didn't want to remember, but he did. He remembered.

He even remembered Jacinto's words. _'Stay away from her.'_ He'd said. _'She's mine. And don't you ever forget it!'_

He shuddered again, his breath suddenly like a fog through the air as he breathed out. He was still thinking of the past when Orihime's soft voice brought him back into reality again.

"Ulqui?"

He shoved his past to the back of his mind again and looked up at her.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked him, walking back over to him, now in her nightdress to cover her body. He smiled at her.

"It's nothing." he said, still smiling at her. Still looking at her beautiful face." At least, nothing I want to talk about."

She smiled brightly at him. At least, as brightly as someone who'd spent the entire day crying could smile at him. He wondered idly how she could still smile when everything around her had collapsed.

"Then lets talk about something else." she said softly, the smile never leaving her lips. And Ulquiorra wondered how in the name of the Night Land she always knew just what to say to make him feel better.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked him, then rambling off a list of subjects, "We can talk about food, or music, or what to name my baby if it's a boy or girl... I hope it's a boy. Then he can play the piano just like his daddy. I'd like if he played the piano, if it was a boy. And maybe when he gets good enough he could teach me to play it too, and then we could all..."

Ulquiorra listened to her patiently, listening to her ramble on in that way of hers. She hadn't even been going for a minute though before he blurted out and interrupted her.

"I love you." he said abruptly, and she immediately fell silent from her rambling. She looked up at him and smiled. He didn't even need to say it. She knew he loved her. He always had, right from the beginning.

She looked at him tenderly. Here was someone who really loved her. Someone who was here, helping her pick up the pieces of her ruined love life. Although... there was always a problem. Something that came between them. And she realised then that she just couldn't keep doing this to him anymore. She couldn't keep leading him on, and giving him false hope of them ever having a future together.

"I know." she said. "And I love you too." she could have cried. She really didn't want to do this... "And... you know I'll always care for you..." she reached out and touched his face, her voice trembling. She couldn't keep doing this. Even if she did love him. Even if she did have some feelings for him.

He looked back at her. It sounded like a goodbye. Like she was leaving.

"But..." her voice trailed off into silence. She couldn't even bring herself to say it. But he understood what she meant to say.

"But you love him more." he finished for her, his heart unsurprisingly heavy again. It seemed that not even love could grow in this vast desert of bones stretches out around them. Like all the plant life here, it just withered and died. And the only love here was the artificial love created by false sunlight and lies. The real love just grew and then died because it _simply couldn't grow here. _

She nodded slowly, raising her eyes slowly to look at him. "And I have my baby to think of now." she added softly, as if it were the worlds greatest secret. "I can't do that to him." she placed a hand on her stomach again, looking down at her unborn child with the love of a mother. "or her... and I can't run off and pretend it's father doesn't exist. It's not fair."

Ulquiorra took a deep, slow breath, in and out. He knew this day would come. Nothing good ever came of loving someone that wasn't yours to love. Because it always ended in tragedy. Look at what happened to Romeo and Juliet. They fell in love when they were never meant to be together. And they both died for it. Might be he would die for it, too. If Aizen or his Demon had anything to say for it. But love was unconditional, and he only wanted her to be happy. Even if she wasn't with him.

"But..." he said, continuing for her when she said nothing. "you don't think you can forgive him yet, don't you?"

She nodded again. "I don't know." she said. "I just need some time to think about it. It's like... it's like he always puts a mask on when he's with me. I don't know which is the real him. Was he lying to me the whole time? Or does he really love me?"

He looked at her, and her eyes began to water again. "But please..." she sobbed, her eyes pleading with him to listen, "please... don't ever think that I don't love you. That I don't care about you. Because I do. So much..." Tears started falling down her face again. This was too much. It just hurt too much. Her heart clenched. She couldn't help it, she cared about him just as she'd cared for Aizen.

He moved closer to her and embraced her, pulling her close to him. His heart even heavier with her words. He wondered how heavy it would have to become before he collapsed under its weight or it disconnected from his blood vessels.

"It's okay" he said softly. "I know. I know you'll always love me. You don't lie. And I know you have to do what's best for your baby. And..." he paused, gathering himself before he spoke again. "I just want you to be happy. Even if its with him. Even if... he puts his mask on when he's with you. You love him. And he's the father of your child. I understand that."

Orihime looked at him, her eyes watering, with the tears still falling from her eyes, and she cried. He was so selfless. He loved her, and he was letting her do what her heart wanted, even though he wanted her to be his. Now she knew what they meant when they said 'love is unconditional.' like in that poem about love, where is said that 'Love is patient, love is kind...'.

This man's letting her go so she could find happiness was the very embodiment of love.

_If you love something,_ she thought, _then set it free. _

She smiled again as she wiped away her tears again with her hands. "Thankyou." she said, composing herself again. Moving to sit on the bed as she wiped her face again. He sat down beside her, putting his arm around her.

"It's funny though," she said, musing outloud to herself, "You said, that he puts his mask on when he's with me..."

She sighed deeply and rested her tired body in his arms, in his embrace. Letting herself relax. "Its funny because, I used to love masked balls, back home. You know, the pretty dresses. The colours. The feathers. All the wonderful patterns on the costumes." she smiled again, her eyes glazing over with nostalgia. "Partying with my friends. The dancing..."

She smiled to herself and pictured many of the annual parties the school held for the students. One of which was he bi-annual masked ball. There were two, one in the summer and one in the winter. 'Bal Masque', it was called. And everyone was there. She thought again of Aizen, and imagined what it would be like if they were both at one of those balls together. She imagined Aizen in a black suit, tall and elegant. His broad shoulders and hair that sat in its usual swept-back style. His grace and composure. His gentleman-like manners as he asked her to dance with him... and her, in a beautiful white, strapless, ballgown with white feathers.

She imagined herself in a white eye mask, again with white feathers and little diamonds decorating it. And imagined him in a black eye mask that covered the top half of his face and eyes, with three black feathers sprouting from each side. She even pictured him lowering it from his face for her...

But she knew he wouldn't do that in reality though.

She smiled bitterly at the thought, at the fantasy. "I'm starting to hate them, now." she said, "The masquerades..."

Ulquiorra just stroked her head gently, soothingly.

"Then forget them." he said gently. "Forget the meaning and him, and just think how pretty the masks and the colours are, like you said. Think of how they made you happy."

She let her head rest against his chest and sighed, thinking of what he'd said earlier as she closed her eyes.

_I just want you to be happy._

He still looked at her with love. Even as he'd said it.

"Stay with me." She said to him. "For tonight. Help me forget about the stupid masquerades."

He nodded, and she lay herself down on the bed, with him beside her. Ulquiorra watched her slowly close her eyes while she drifted off to sleep, holding her in his arms.

_One night. _He told himself. All he had was just this one night.

He wanted to sleep. He was physically and mentally exhausted, but he didn't let himself fall asleep. This was his last night with her, and he didn't want to miss a moment of it. So he stayed awake, just holding her. Watching her sleeping in his arms, until the artificial sun started to rise. Watching her as she dreamed of masquerades and piano music, and the man she loved much more than him taking off his mask for her to make her happy.


	62. Taking off the masks

Excuse the lateness. Been devoured by another soul consuming project of similar length, word count and complexity to this one. I do not know why I do this to myself.

anyway. I feel like I owe all the Aihime lot this instalment. Very Pivotal Scene here. Foreshadowing pretty much throughout. Was initially wary of the sheer amount of plot leakage in one scene but it has to be such.

All the usual stuff in here. I killed bleach canon 61 chapters ago. You know the drill by now x3

Anyway, enjoy. The song he plays here is Love Never Dies. More ALW musical piano goodness.

* * *

**Chapter 61: Taking off the masks **

When Orihime woke the next morning, she found Ulquiorra was still sleeping. He had fallen asleep at some point in the night, exhausted from keeping awake for so long, but she didn't know that. She just assumed he'd fallen asleep when she did. So Orihime woke up, blissfully unaware that he hadn't slept for the whole night.

She'd woken up slowly, her eyes squinting in the bright sunlight, her hair spread out around her, before she carefully slid out of his arms and out of bed, trying not to wake him. She then slipped her sandals onto her bare feet, put on a plain white dress that came down to her knees, and left him.

She would have turned to him and said goodbye before she left, but honestly she was glad he was still asleep. She didn't think she could handle it if he woke up just as she was leaving. She had already smashed his dreams, she didn't need to remind him of what could have been had their lives been different. She smiled at him one last time before she left, looking at his sleeping form on her bed. He would be gone by the time she got back, she told herself. He would be gone and maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much knowing that she'd just broken his heart and stepped on his fragile dream of being with her.

Maybe then it would be easier.

She went looking for Aizen early in the morning, slowly wandering down various corridors, trying to pinpoint him through his spiritual energy. But since Las Noches was so huge, it wouldn't be an easy feat. The corridors could be operated to move and confuse you, and the complex itself was more like a maze than a building.

_Time Lord science mus be t work here somehow. _She thought as she walked through the place. _It really seems smaller looking at it from the outside..._

There were so many rooms and staircases – Orihime wasn't even sure how many floors the building even had after walking up the fifth flight of stairs – but in the end she decided that if she couldn't find him by sunset then she would try again tomorrow. He had to be somewhere. She took another right turn and started down another white corridor, identical to the last one, and sighed. _Maybe I got lost and took a wrong turning somewhere? _She thought, still moving slowly down the corridor. _Perhaps I should turn back... I'm not going to find him, I need a map of the place, or at least a plan of where to look. _

She picked up her pace to a faster walk, deciding that she would give her search another half an hour before she turned back. It was getting late now, and Ulquiorra would worry about her if she was gone all day, though she hoped he wouldn't. Knowing he would anyway. She sighed sadly, wishing that everything didn't have to be difficult in her life. Why she couldn't have a _normal_ life and a _normal_ relationship. But _no_. Everything just had to be screwed up. She shook her head, pushing her thoughts away. It was useless to wish for things. Nobody listened, and the gods didn't answer prayers. So it was pointless to try. She stopped for a moment, leaning with her back against the wall, her head facing the ceiling.

_Perhaps I should just give up. He doesn't want me to find him. _

Orihime closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Feeling the cold from the wall seeping through her dress and onto her skin, her mind quieting itself. It was then that she heard the noise. It wasn't a loud noise, more of a softer, quieter, multitonal sound. So quiet in fact that if it weren't for the pure silence around her, Orihime wouldn't have heard it at all. She opened her eyes slowly. She knew that sound. Music. The soft sounds floating through the air, barely audible though they were, were musical notes. The slow, steady formation of a melody. And Orihime knew where she would find him then – all she had to do was follow the sound of the music. She pushed off the wall and headed towards the sound, her pace slow. She wished she could remember the names of the classical composers from class so she might be able to recognise the song – but the information on Mozart and Beethoven had washed over her, so she remembered nothing. The sounds of the notes were beautiful. So quiet, but as she followed it, they grew gradually louder and louder, so she was able to make  
out more of the song. At first she thought is sounded lovely. Happy. But the closer she moved towards the source of it, she realised it actually started to sound... different. Sadder, almost, if she didn't know any better.

She wondered, _How can he play such simple music and still make it sound so beautiful? _

She came to the doorway of the room the music was coming from, finding the door open wide. She smiled to herself as she stood in the doorway quietly, watching him. He was sitting very straight and composed at his large, white piano, sheet music in front of him – although she suspected he wasn't even playing from it when a good length of time went by without him turning a single page as he played his haunting melody.

She smiled as she watched as he played, too blissfully lost in his music to even know she was watching. The song was so lovely... and so sad.

_Was he always this expressively sad through his music? _ She asked herself. _Or am I only noticing it now that I'm really listening?_

She stood there for a few minutes, just listening to him play, lost in his own thoughts. He did look handsome when he played. So composed and focused. She could have watched him all day. His fingers dancing over the ebony and ivory keys. She listened silently as he played the song through, right up until the very end when the final notes faded away, his fingers holding the keys down until all was silent again.

"That was beautiful." she said, making him jump.

"Orihime." he started, nearly knocking over a vase on said piano as he jumped up, slamming down all the keys as he reached to catch the vase before it toppled over. Making an awful sound in the process. "what brings you here?"

_She's... speaking to me. _His mind reasoned, trying to make some sense._ I can't even... why?_

"Sorry, I should have announced myself." Orihime said softly, "I startled you."

He shook his head, trying to find words. "Sorry, I was miles away. Do you want something?"

"Can we sit and talk?" she asked him, innocently. She was trying to sound brave and sure of herself, though there was so much doubt in her eyes. "I... I want to make this work." she paused again, looking right at him. "for... for the baby."

He rested his hands on his lap and looked up at her, his expression blank. "Not for me?"

"Well," she said, deciding to correct herself. "For us too."

He smiled warily at her, "Alright," he said, shuffling further along the piano bench and patting the empty space beside him, gesturing for her to sit by him. Sighing softly as she moved to sit beside him. _Even after all I have done she still wants to forgive me. _

"Okay." she said, taking a deep breath. "I'm willing to give you another chance. But first-" she cut him off, before he could protest anything- "you need to be straight with me. No more lies. We can't raise a child on a foundation of lies."

_Not like my parents. She_ added silently. _We cannot be like my parents squabbling over custody. More concerned over who is right than the needs of our child. _

"You need to start explaining." She told him. "You lied to me. You said you loved me."

He breathed in and out deeply, pausing for a moment before he answered. "Look. I know I don't deserve you. I know that." He paused again. "I've lied about many things. But I never lied about loving you, though. If I only ever told one truth in my life, let it be that."

Orihime pressed her lips together and looked forward, away from him. Part of her wanted to believe him, but the logical, more rational part of her knew that he would say anything to get her back. Would concoct more lies and deceive her again if it meant he could have what he wanted. She shook her head, thinking about the old saying about the impossibility of having your cake and eating it.

"But you... with... with Gin..." she stammered, unable to even speak of it. She couldn't even force herself to _say it; _that he'd _fucked_ another man.

"Why?"

Orihime looked at him, and he looked back at her. "Gin seduced me." he said, defensively. "I never meant for it to happen. I swear."

Orihime glanced down again, her hands in her lap. "But you let him anyway." she said, more disappointed than upset. "Why?"

He took a deep breath. _Be honest Aizen. _He told himself. With Jacinto echoing him: _tell her the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. She won't run. _

He sat there quietly, trying to think of a way to phrase this without it sounding like a lie. When he looked towards her, she was looking back at him. Her eyes never leaving him as she waited for his answer. _There is no way to say this tactfully, is there?_

"I suffer from amnesia." he told her, after a while. "I forgot... the last eighty years of my life. We were lovers, and I forgot him."

Orihime felt cold. _Will he forget me too? _She wondered, though said nothing. "So... he seduced you... to try get you to remember him."

She looked at him, and he nodded. The cold feeling in her gut intensified. This... this was too much for her to process. Eight decades. A length of time like that doesn't just vanish. What had she had? A half a year with him at best. Her relationship with him would be forever haunted by his previous lover who'd been with him for the length of one of her lifetimes. Her whole body felt cold. Now she knew what they all meant when they said_ 'the truth hurts'. _

Aizen looked at her, seeing her eyes dimming. He knew she was realising how small her space in his life was. Nobody should feel that small.

"That doesn't answer my question of why, though." she said. Though Aizen said nothing.

_I was confused and he took advantage of me, _he could have protested. But he didn't. It was he who gave in to it. They both knew it would sound like a lie. Even if it was the truth, it would have sounded like the worst excuse in the world.

And he was too tired of it all to lie. Too tired to weave more webs of deceit.

"It was a purely physical reaction." he said cooly. As if he were talking about something as mundane as the weather. "Flesh memories, if you like. Like the way your body never forgets to ride a bike."

"Was it?" she asked him, her eyes begging for something of substance to cling to. To desperately make sense of whatever was left that hadn't been destroyed.

_No lies, Sousuke._

"Yes." he said. "At the time, I knew – remembered - nothing. I just thought... he wanted to get me into bed. He kept professing... that we were together. At the time, I believed none of it. I only later found out what he said was true."

Orihime nodded slowly. "So... you said you didn't believe him." she said quietly. "Why did you let him then?"

"I told you." he said, "Flesh memories."

He looked down, his gut knotting. _Powerful flesh memories._

"I don't love him though." he added. Though it sounded forced. A lie? He didn't know anymore. His whole life was built on lies. How did he know what the truth looked like? He hoped it looked like the woman beside him, if there ever was such thing as truth. Or love.

Orihime paused. "So... you lied about loving me." she said. A statement. Not a question. Did she really want to believe this?

"I never lied about that, Sun of my life." he told her, with conviction this time. "Never."

Orihime looked at him, confused. She didn't believe him. It could just be another lie for all she knew. One last ditch attempt to have her back in his arms. She didn't quite believe him having _'amnesia'_ either. But that was another matter. He was still hiding something from her, she knew it.

Why the lies? Why the masquerades? Was it always like this with him? Was he ever honest with her?

Aizen looked at Orihime, holding her gaze. _She doesn't believe me. _

Jacinto, however, only encouraged him to fight for her. _Say it again,_ he told Sousuke, _once more, with feeling. _

"I never lied that I love you, Sun of my life."

Orihime looked at him for a few moments, her eyes wide. She wanted desperately to believe him. So much. But she needed to know the truth. The _whole _truth.

"Okay." she started. "I believe that bit. But if the rest is true - if - why do you suffer from amnesia?Did you hit your head? Because I really, really don't think a man as strong as you can hit his head and 'forget' everything."

"I didn't hit my head." he told her, "I..."

He hesitated, _do I tell her this?_ He asked himself. _Once I tell her there is no going back. I'll drag her down with me. I'll condemn her to hell too._

He thought about lying, but decided against it. He remembered her words from earlier. _No more lies, Sousuke._

"Tell me." Orihime pressed, her hands finding his. He paused, silent. Unsure of whether to take this step off the cliff edge.

"Tell me." she pressed again, desperately this time. "If we have no trust and honesty, then we have nothing. If you want another chance you have to tell me everything."

Aizen swallowed, his hand in hers.

_She wants to know the truth. _Jacinto echoed, somewhere in the recesses of his mind. _Tell her about me. _

He breathed deeply. He guessed there was no avoiding this.

"I have a hollow inside me that causes it whenever it drags me into my inner world." he told her, the statement sounding wrong, too blunt. But there was no other way to explain it or ease her into it. His heart was in his mouth and his stomach was tying itself up in knots. This was the bit where she would leave him, he reasoned. Any normal person would leave now and cut their losses. But to his surprise, she just looked at him, a somewhat aggravated and confused expression on her face.

She sighed. _Is this another lie? _She asked herself. _Copying Kurosaki-kun's story? _

"How do I know this isn't just some excuse? Some elaborate lie..."

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Why would I even _lie_ about this?" he asked her, a little incredulous. "This... this is not even an _excuse_. Please believe me."

But she just looked at him, blankly.

_She doesn't believe me. _He thought sadly as he maintained her gaze. Though she was still holding onto his hand. He knew why she didn't believe him. He'd lied to her too often for her to bring herself to believe him.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"No." she said. "I don't. I want proof before I believe anything."

He paused for a minute, just waiting. He really hoped it wouldn't come to this. This was really asking for it...

"Okay." he said simply, and Orihime stopped in shock.

W_hat, just like that? No fighting? No resistance? No defending the lie?_

"How?" she whispered, and he answered, "I'll show you."

He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing normally. When he opened them again, he was looking at her through Jacinto's eyes. He saw her strong resemblance to his wife, Maria, in her face and in her eyes.

_She's beautiful..._ Jacinto thought, gazing at her as if she were more precious than water in the desert.

Aizen frowned. _You only say that because she looks like **her.**_

"Oh god." Orihime's mouth dropped open. And she flinched back in horror. He didn't react. Evidently he had expected nothing less than her recoiling in horror, letting go of his hand.

Aizen couldn't help but smile. "What?" he asked her, "Did you think you would see something beautiful when I took off my mask for you? Masks hide monsters."

"Masks hide truth."

He smiled bitterly. "Now you know why they call it the ugly truth."

"Dear gods..." she gasped, raising her hands to her face. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"This thing..." Aizen started, unsure of where to even begin. There were so may reasons...

"is capable of very terrible things. He has murdered and raped. He has tortured. He has killed. He has destroyed lives. And he has used my body to do those things." He paused again, breathing in deeply. "So ask yourself again_ why I didn't tell you."_

Orihime wanted to cry. How could he have kept this from her? No, how could he think of himself as a monster? She refused to believe Sousuke was bad. She refused. He'd never raised a hand to her, never raised his voice to her. She couldn't believe it... no wonder is music was always so sad.

Aizen just looked blankly at her. Yes, he had expected this. The crying in fear. Or what he thought was fear.

_Hey, I'm capable of love too._ Jacinto echoed. _Like you, I loved once. Don't you remember? I had a son, once. I loved a woman, once. I was like you are now, once. I was just like you – once. I wasn't always a lunatic._

Aizen glanced downwards. He knew that was true. How many times had he slept through the night reliving the horror of Jacinto's past? Watching Maria and Carlos die. Too many times to deny that all Jacinto ever loved and wanted would never return to him. He felt the hollow's bitterness at being left alive when his family was killed. He knew the grief he'd felt as he buried his wife and son in the sand. Before the massacre, Jacinto used to be _just like him. _

"All those lies..." Orihime said, "why didn't you tell me?"

Aizen couldn't believe she was asking him such a question. "Would you really have wanted to know this, knowing you would be carrying my child?" he asked her. Though she didn't answer.

"Tell me, orihime. And be truthful." he said, "Would you have still made love to me, knowing this? That I have raped and killed. That I hurt people. That I am still hurting people – even now I am hurting you. I can see it in your face."

Orihime had to fight hard not to cry, then. She ached that he thought so horribly of himself. At the fact that he made no differentiation between himself and the hollow, which to her was the saddest bit of all. He did not say '_he'_ . He said '_I'._

"Would you still have wanted me?" he continued. "Would you still want my baby? my... my _demon spawn?"_

Orihime gaped at him. _Demon spawn? _She thought, outraged. Her face an expression of mixed anger and horror. _The disrespect! _

"He is not your demon spawn!" she shouted, outraged. She didn't know where the_ 'he'_ came from, but '_he'_ sounded a hell of a lot better than _'it'_. She wanted to slap him. But it seemed like someone else had beaten her to it, looking at that almighty bruise around his eye. She would have to remember to find out whoever it was who gave him that bruise and thank them later. Her child - their child - was no devil spawn. Ulquiorra would have said he were a blessing, and he wouldn't have been wrong.

Aizen just looked at her sadly, and she thought it was as if all the sadness in the world were in his eyes, compressed down into just one man.

"Would you still love me?" he asked.

Orihime was speechless. _Yes. Yes to all those things._ She wanted to say._ The hollow is not you. I know that from watching Ichigo... you're not him, you're different! _

But words failed her.

Aizen smiled bitterly. "You can't answer, can you?" he asked, looking at her and shaking his head.

"You are the sun of my life. That is all I know. But I'm just not good for you. My soul cannot be saved. I'll just taint you."

"Every soul can be saved." she told him, taking his hand again. One of his black eyes returning to its usual chocolate colour.

"Don't worry. Jacinto will not touch you." he said, as she hesitantly reached for his face.

She paused halfway, _Jacinto, _She wondered, _the same one from Grimmjow's story... _

"I'm not afraid." she said, and slowly touched his face with her hand. His face? Jacinto's face? She wasn't sure.

"How can you say that?" he asked her, still in disbelief. She should be frightened of him. Scared out of her wits. Be running screaming to the hills. But she wasn't. She was either very brave or very stupid.

"What if I rejected it?" she asked, "I can... I can get rid of it."

"No." he said. "you cant. we are part of the same consciousness. You kill one you kill both.

_When one dies, the other will die too. _

_And I am too young to die yet. I still have so much life to live. I still have to meet our baby..._

_It's said that a man's greatest strength is also his greatest weakness. _He thought to himself. _She now has the power to kill me if she wanted to. This is either the greatest act of trust or suicide. _

He could still hear Jacinto from years ago; _'once this is done, it cannot be undone. Not without cost.'_

And like a fool, he had said, _"do it"_. Stupid, _stupid boy. _

"So," Aizen said, relieved now. "now you know. I think its best I stay away from you. So I don't harm you. I don't deserve you. I will be there for our child, I will provide for you. But I don't think we should be together. All I will do is hurt you. All I will do is taint your pureness and goodness and drag you to hell _with_ me." he turned and looked at her, his other eye regaining its normal colour, desperation in his voice. "And I don't want to _do that_ to you."

Orihime was taken aback. More lies. More masks. More deceptions. He hid the truth from her because he was scared she would run away. And now he was leaving her before she could leave him. But she was stronger than that. She wasn't stupid or weak enough to run at the first sign of danger.

"But... but I love you." she said, pleading with him. "I'm carrying your _child_... don't you love me?" she asked, slowly starting to cry. "Don't you want to be with me?"

"I'm sorry, Orihime."

Jacinto hissed in the back of Aizen's head. _Fool! she's giving you a second chance. Stop being an idiot and take it. Take your chance and have what I had. _

Orihime let her hand find his again, and squeezed it. She wasn't going to let him think she was weak. She was not going to leave just because he thought she couldn't handle it.

"Sousuke. Sousuke look at me." She said sternly, and he complied.

"Do you think this will scare me away?" she asked him, not even waiting for an answer. "Well, you're _wrong._ I'm not scared. I just told you I'm not scared. I'm not some little girl who can't make her own choices. Secondly-" she paused for breath, "You're a good man. I love you, and I want to be with you. And I will stand beside you and love you and your baby until the day I die. I don't care about anything else."

"Love cant conquer all, Orihime." he said gently. Still with his eyes fixed on hers. _Because the sun doesn't shine the darkness away. _

Jacinto just fumed at him. _Why are you being so fucking stupid? _He growled through gritted teeth, mentally smacking him, _You have a chance at everything I ever wanted. You are living my life the way it was many, many years ago. This is everything you wanted. Take this chance she is giving you and run to the fucking hills with it!_

Orihime reached up to him and pulled him closer. "I don't care!" she said defiantly, crashing her lips against his, her tongue invading his mouth and caressing his. Passionately kissing him in sheer desperation. Trying to make him hear her. Trying to melt his defences. Then breaking away and letting her tears fall, still clutching his shoulders.

"I don't _care._" she sobbed, with him just looking at her, wide eyed. "I love you. Even if love does nothing. Even if I cant... help you."

Aizen just gaped. Overwhelmed by it all. By her. By all this compassion and love compressed down into one being. The mother of his child.

"Sun of my life." he said to her, shocked that she still wanted to be with him.

"I love you." she said to him again, smiling and crying.

"You shouldn't." he said to her, kissing her again anyway. "You really, really shouldn't."


	63. Letting go Holding on

Goodness, when did they change the layout and my settings? (ha, shows how often I update anything)

Anyway. another perspective change. hey, I have to cover five different perspectives (including Jac in that count, crazy loon he is), all in some order. So Things will seem... disjointed for a little bit with all the viewpoints. Separate storylines and whatnot. And the fact that I don't cover everything Aizen is thinking at one time. It makes for difficult writing.

I just need to sit and sort out some cat/mouse-ish stuff for later and just make it all fit together since I storyboarded everyone separately. So it will take some doing. I can only cover so much of Aizen's thoughts in one scene.

Well, enjoy the update. I will always like the glass box imagery in this as well as Gin being awkward. (I hope kubo forgives me for them sun references). There's some sane Jacinto references in there too – though now I want to go and write that father-son chessboard bonding scene with Jac and Carlos.

okay. Will stop blathering now. On with the show.

* * *

"_People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things - where they left their keys, or the name of an acquaintance - but no one ever talks about how much effort we put into forgetting. I am exhausted from the effort to forget... There are things that have to be forgotten if you want to go on living." _

_- Stephen Carpenter,_

**Chapter 62: Letting go. Holding on. **

Ulquiorra woke up very slowly, the light from the sun blinding him, forcing him to raise his forearm to cover his eyes. It was too bright. Far too bright. He groaned inwardly. He had no idea what time it was or even when he'd gone and fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered was lying beside Orihime and watching her as she slept. It was still dark then. He supposed he'd fallen asleep sometime before sunrise. He lowered his arm slowly, forcing his eyes to adjust to the new light. He was still lying on his back, limbs gracelessly splayed on Orihime's plain, white bedcovers.

_White. White. Why did everything have to be __**white? **__The colour of emptiness?_

He breathed in and stretched out his tired muscles, his fingertips feeling the soft bed, reaching out for her in his still half asleep state, hoping to touch her skin, or her hair. But when he reached out, he felt only the space where Orihime had lain sleeping next to him. The empty space. Still warm from where her body had been. And reality hit him like a freight train.

_She's really gone now. _He thought, slightly surprised that his heart could actually sink further. It should have hit the bottom of the seabed by now. The lowest point. It shouldn't be sinking further.

But it was.

_And she left without even saying goodbye. _

He sat up and looked around. She was indeed gone. For good this time. As if she had never existed in his life. She hadn't even left him a note, or given him the chance to watch her go, or the chance to convince himself that this was for the best. No closure, no nothing. She'd just left, before he woke up. Perhaps to spare herself the goodbye. Perhaps that was for the best too. Perhaps she knew that he would try to convince her to leave Aizen, or even just pick her up, throw her over his shoulder, and carry her off somewhere, caveman style.

_I know it is for the best. But... is it supposed to hurt this much?_

Ulquiorra swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, the too-bright sunlight bathing him in its warmth. It was then he wondered idly where she was now. Whether she was with Aizen, whether she was smiling, happy... while he felt empty. Increasingly numb. He supposed this was what the humans called 'grief', though Ulquiorra didn't think he had it in him to cry. Crying was too... human. He had to numb himself to that – this being human business. Hollows did not feel. Or if they did, at the very least, they did not openly express their feelings.

_Is this how things will be? Empty? Watching Orihime smile at someone else? Have someone else's baby?_

He breathed in and out deeply, taking air into his lungs, feeling her absence keenly. Nothing around him felt real. It was like he'd just woken up from a beautiful dream. A dream he desperately wanted to go back to. He wondered idly if Jacinto felt this way when he lost his wife and son. Whether he – chessmaster and psychopath personified – actually cried... whether he fell to pieces. Whether he allowed himself to grieve. If he allowed himself to express the last traces of humanity he had left. Whether the moment his wife followed his son into the afterlife was the moment he lost his mind and became so angry and bitter. Whether that was the moment he became suddenly in desperate need of that human mind doctor... what was his name? Doctor Phil?

He wondered too, whether Jacinto still remembered the touch of Maria's skin, her voice, her laugh... or little Carlos and the way he smiled and excitedly begged his dad to play chess games with him, or his sheer joy when Jacinto had given him an intricately carved wooden chess set for his fourth birthday so he could learn the game.

Did Jacinto remember them the same way he remembered Orihime?

Did it really get easier over time?

He shook his head.

_What is, is what must be. _He told himself. Collecting himself before he took the first step towards the door. Walking out and into the corridors, trying to distract himself. His fingertips tracing unknown patterns on the walls again as he walked, passing windows and turning corner after corner until he was lost deep in thoughts about the exact thing he was trying to forget. Her.

He walked for what seemed to him to be a long time, soft piano music drifting into his ears. Their leader often liked to play, and when Ulquiorra wasn't carrying out his duties, he usually liked to sit and listen. The music often took him away from reality, and provided a good distraction from the dreams and nightmares that had come to insist on invading his daily life. Though this time, when he listened, he had come to wonder if Aizen-sama played to distract himself, too. From what though, Ulquiorra could hardly imagine. He hoped it was guilt for hurting Orihime. Or Gin. Or preferably both. Ulquiorra knew he deserved it. To feel guilt. To feel some sort of emotional pain. One tiny iota of the pain he went around causing. Because if Aizen could feel true devastation – true, earth-shattering devastation - _then_ the scores would be even. Until that day came, however, Ulquiorra would have to settle with Aizen feeling what he hoped was a small fraction of guilt.

He sighed again and turned another corner, fingertips still tracing patterns on the wall, stopping abruptly when he caught sight of Gin sitting on one of the ledges and looking out of one of the windows at the seemingly static landscape. Ulquiorra let his fingers fall from the wall and watched him quietly, wondering now what had happened last night with Gin and Aizen. He's said he'd give them five minutes, but then he'd found Orihime and 'five minutes' had turned into 'all night'. He certainly hoped that hadn't been a mistake. Lord knew he'd made too many of those in his life.

He approached slowly. Gin had his back to him, his silver hair still messy from the night before, though this time his shoulders were relaxed, and he was completely still. Such a rare sight, Gin being completely still like this. So subdued. He really was a ghost of his former self.

_No different from me, really. _

"Ichimaru?" he asked as he walked closer to him. Gin turned to look at him.

"Hi." he said, something resembling a smile on his face.

"Are you okay?" Ulquiorra asked him, placing a hand on Gin's shoulder. It was a stupid question, he knew that. But he had to ask.

"I'm doin' okay." Gin said quietly, "Well, physically at least anyway."

"That's understandable." Ulquiorra responded, only empathy in his voice. He'd been here too, after all. He knew what it felt like. He already knew part of the story.

Gin had to smile then, "Even if only to you."

Ulquiorra smiled back at him. Gin was bluntly honest. It was refreshing, really. Like there were no walls anymore. No more lies to have to sift through. Ulquiorra only wished he could be as open as Gin was. But he didn't have that luxury.

"Have you been here all night?" he asked, but Gin just turned his head back to look out the window again.

"No." he answered. "Just a couple hours. I think." Gin paused, looking listlessly out at the desert. As if in another world. "The piano music stopped."

"You sat listening to that?" Ulquiorra asked, surprised. But then again, hadn't everybody heard that music? Sound tended to echo in this place. Like screams did. Everything echoed here.

_Orihime's voice was like that music... _he found himself thinking, before mentally scolding himself. He was probably playing for her, now.

He shook the thought off.

_What is, is what must be._

"Yep." Gin said, still subdued. "Watching the artificial sun rise. You know that was the first song I ever heard him play? I'm surprised he remembers that but nowt else..."

"I guess it's always the trivial things you remember. What time did you get up?" Ulquiorra asked him, trying to distract Gin from whatever thoughts he was having.

"Who knows." Gin answered. "I don't even remember fallin' asleep. I were so exhausted. They don't tell you pain wears you out..."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Ulquiorra asked him, probing. He'd forgotten completely about Gin last night when he'd found Orihime, so he needed to know if everything was okay.

"He said sorry." Gin told him, his answer short and dismissive. Clearly he didn't want to talk about it. Whatever lovers' fight this was, it was clearly the root of a _lot_ of problems. For everyone. He moved closer and let Gin lean his head against his ribs.

"You forgave him?" he asked again, "Or is that a silly question?"

Gin smiled wearily. "Silly question."

"You smell like him." Ulquiorra said, though not approvingly. His hand moving to rest on Gin's head. "Did you... have se-"

"No." Gin cut him off, his voice cold. He clearly didn't want to talk about this... but that was okay. He'd let Gin open up when he was ready.

"No, we weren't..." Gin sighed softly, "intimate." his voice softened again. "I just slept in his arms. Bed were still warm when I got up..."

_Of course, fool, _Ulquiorra berated himself._ Lovers don't __**have**__ to be intimate._

_But wait, what about Orihime? If they are together, then... hm, this is a real mess, isn't it?_

"So are you... together now?" Ulquiorra asked, "or..."

"No." Gin said, unflinching. His voice devoid of all emotion. Robotic, even.

"No?" Ulquiorra was surprised. He'd expected things to be more complicated. For another fine mess to emerge from the dramatics of last night. Could it actually be that Aizen had dropped Gin in pursuit of Orihime? If so, then the man was more of a bastard than he originally thought. No, _'bastard' _was too kind a word. All the curse words in the world were too kind...

"If I may ask... _why?"_

He watched Gin tremble, felt him shake as he swallowed. The walls were coming down, he knew it. And Ulquiorra wanted to know the whole story. If he didn't know, how could he comfort? How could he understand? How could he be there for the man?

Forget the physical abuse, this went much deeper. The physical abuse was merely the tip of the iceburg of Gin and Aizen's problems.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." he added gently, "I know a lot happened. I know you are hurting."

_I am too, though that doesn't really matter. It has never mattered. _

Gin breathed in and out shakily. Calming himself.

"My su-" he started, then stopping abruptly when he realised what he was about to say.

"Sousuke," he corrected himself, "he doesn't remember. He doesn't..." Gin took a quick, uneven breath. Composing himself again. "Sorry," he said, "I probably shouldn't have said anythin'... I shouldn't burden you with more of my problems. You've done enough for me already..."

Ulquiorra looked down at Gin, his eyes still fixed on his form. "No, its okay." he said gently, "If you need to talk about it, I will listen."

He paused a moment, watching Gin turn, still sitting, to look at him. "And you look like you need to talk to someone." Ulquiorra added, still watching Gin, observing him carefully. Gin looked like he would break into pieces at any minute, and Ulquiorra needed to be there if that happened to piece him back together.

"He doesn't remember who I am." Gin choked out, "he doesn't remember... the last eighty years he spent with me."

Ulquiorra's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry." he said. All other words failed him. There were no other words.

"He was my other," Gin continued, managing a weak smile. His voice dreamlike. "My sun and sta-"

Gin cut himself off again. Correcting himself before he uttered words that not so long ago, were spoken only in private, for only one other to hear.

_Sun and stars. _He would have said. _Sun of my life. Center of my universe. _

Ulquiorra looked out to the sunless world. Thinking again of Gin and Aizen referring to each other as the sun and the moon and the stars. He wondered then how two of the most evil, manipulative people he knew could be capable of such softness towards each other.

"It's okay." Ulquiorra said softly, looking down at him. "You can call him the sun and the stars."

Gin smiled at him sadly. For all of Ulquiorra's supposed numbness and his hollow-like nature, he seemed to understand so much. "Sun and stars." Gin said, his voice gentle.

_'Sun and stars'... _Ulquiorra mused, silently. _It is better than 'my love' or 'darling' or 'lover'... and means more, too. I wonder if Aizen-sama called him the moon..._

Gin turned to look back out at the desert, and Ulquiorra's hand left his silver hair. "He doesn't remember our time together." Gin told him numbly. And Ulquiorra was taken back. _He doesn't remember. _Gin had said it devoid of feeling. Like he didn't care. Like it didn't matter...

_They don't tell you pain wears you out..._

Ulquiorra sighed, finally realising this was the cause of all the problems.

"Don't worry. I'm sure things will right themselves again. He'll remember. People who forget always do."

He meant to be comforting, but Gin only shook his head. "You don't understand." he said, "The amnesia's never been this bad before... never. This time he..."

_This time? _He wondered. He should be shocked, but after everything that happened to him, he was numb to shock now. _Was there another time?_

"Nonsense." Ulquiorra said, "He'll remember. This will be just like the other times."

But Gin let his shoulders slump as he gazed out across the barren desert, whether really looking or not Ulquiorra couldn't be certain. But he just eyed the sand and the night-time sky with an empty expression. No smile on his lips.

"I can't help thinking..." Gin trailed on, a tangible sadness in his voice. "What if.. what if he never remembers? What if, this time, he don't come back to me."

"But you said _'this time'_." Ulquiorra said gently, "That must mean he came back the last time... this time is no different."

Gin kept looking at the moon. The stars. The words – however logical, however true - had fallen on deaf ears.

"I hope the gods give him back to me." he whispered. "Cuz I keep praying to em..."

"Do you pray to the goddess too?" Ulquiorra asked, his gaze following Gin's out towards the skies. The moon.

"Goddess?"

"The one in the moon." Ulquiorra explained, though Gin kept his eyes on the sky.

"Does she answer prayers?" Gin asked, his voice still empty, and not for the first time, Ulquiorra didn't quite know what to say to him. Did the shaper of their lives really answer?

"Sometimes." he said, after a pause. "She answered mine. She gave me strength to defy Aizen."

_Or was that just me being shoved over the edge?_

"Will she answer me?" Gin asked. Another question the hollow had no answer for.

"I don't know." Ulquiorra said, his voice calm. "It depends what you pray for."

"I pray for him to remember." Gin told him, "Or for me to forget."

Ulquiorra sighed heavily. _What is, is what must be._

"I'm praying to forget, too."

Gin's shoulders visibly sank as he looked out onto the horizon, "You let her go didn't you? Your sun and stars..."

Ulquiorra stopped, back straightening. "You know?"

Gin smiled tiredly, turning to face him. "I can see it in your face."

Ulquiorra didn't want to ask how Gin knew that. He supposed it was obvious. Given everything that happened, including the time Aizen nearly killed him. Either that, or Gin was very perceptive. He suspected both.

"Yes." he finally said. "I let her go so she could be happy."

Gin softened his smile towards him, his eyes open just a crack. His voice sympathetic as he spoke. "Tha' don' stop it hurtin' though, does it?" he asked, "Knowin' she's happy. With someone else."

Ulquiorra just shook his head in agreement. "No, it doesn't." _But what is, is what must be._

Gin looked up at him, his eyes soft. "I know how it feels."

Gin paused again, then asked him, "What do you pray for? What do you want?"

"The impossible." Ulquiorra answered, "Like you do. Either for her to come back to me, or for me to forget."

Gin forced a singular, sarcastic laugh. "Hah. Fat chance of that huh..." he snorted. Bitterness in his words. "Perhaps the goddess is deaf to us."

_Or we are doomed to remember._

"Perhaps all gods are deaf to us." Ulquiorra sighed. "Maybe, they don't care."

"Yeah. Maybe." Gin said, agreeing. "It's startin' ta feel that way. Maybe they just wanna make us suffer. Put us on cloud nine then push us off."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "cloud nine?" he asked. Honestly, he would never understand these human expressions.

"Figure o' speech." Gin explained, "Means, you're really happy. In a good place."

"Oh. I don't think we'll ever be back there again." Ulquiorra said quietly. "In a happy place."

Gin shook his head in agreement. "No... but we pray for it anyway. To deaf gods. For the ones we love to come back to us."

Ulquiorra sighed, tired. Wondering when exactly it was that he had become so tired. "I don't know if it was love or not. But I know I cared for her... enough to give up my life, my happiness, for her." He took a deep breath, in and out. "I just wanted to protect her from Jacinto." he added, turning to Gin, "Is that _so_ wrong?" he asked, desperately. His eyes begging for answers. "She is so clumsy." he continued, "If she did something to upset him and he lost his temper, he would have hurt her... his demon would have."

Gin just looked at him softly, a weak smile on his face. "Like he did to you."

Ulquiorra remained silent for a moment, looking at him. So much empathy compressed into one man...

"Yes," he said, _and you, too. As much as you would like to forget..._

"I was a virgin, and he hurt me." Ulquiorra added, his voice oddly starting to tremble. He realised then that Orihime was just confused and scared and overall just too nice to say no to him. "I just didn't want that to happen to her..."

"Because you love her." Gin said, smiling sadly. His voice pained. "Even if she doesn't love you."

"Is that _so wrong?"_

Gin paused. "No." he said, shaking his head. "No, its not."

Gin looked down again and shook his head once more, "I wish I could be as selfless as you." he said, the emotion tangible in his voice. "He's happy. I should let him go..."

Ulquiorra turned his gaze back to the desert. "But you cant." he said. Surprised at how much he understood. "Even after all he has done to hurt you, you can't let him go."

"No..." Gin answered, sounding like he were going to cry. "He made a sun fer me. How can I let go of someone... who lit the skies for me?"

Ulquiorra just looked at him, saying nothing._ So that is why we have a sun that I do not like..._

"He don't even have to love me anymore," Gin continued, "jus' remember. Just acknowledge the history."

Ulquiorra kept silent. Thinking of that famous poem; 'Love is patient, love is kind' – whoever wrote that poem was talking complete trash and knew nothing about love. _Nothing._ He gathered it was a stupid human who wrote it. Love was needy. Love was insecure. Love was possessive and jealous. Love hurt. Love destroyed. _It didn't grow here. _

"Sometimes it feels like I'm asking too much." Gin carried on, half sobbing now. "Like I'm asking for sunlight in a world with no sun. Because... I'm trying so hard and its doing nothing. He's still so far away. So far that I cant reach him... like he's shut me in a glass box an' he can't hear me when I yell an' bang on the sides..."

_Like you're trapped inside Pandora's Box..._

"An' I can't help thinking... what if he don't wanna come back this time? Cuz ya have ta want it. A part of ya has to want it..."

Ulquiorra eyed him for a minute, silently. His thoughts replaying their conversation; _He said sorry._ _Don't remember fallin' asleep. Slept in his arms. Bed were still warm. He made a sun for me. I'm surprised he remembers that._

A part of him wanted to ask, _are you blind, Gin?_ _Or are there really none so blind as those who do not wish to see? _But in the end he said nothing. He supposed the fates would find their way on their own.

"Well..." Ulquiorra said, sighing, "if it all blows up in your face, or... if you decide to let go. You know I'll be here for you. Just reach out to me. I'm here for you. Anytime."

Gin managed a smile. "Thanks." he said, "Though, before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"You said before..." Gin started, "that you let go of your sun and stars so she could be happy." he paused again, looking up at Ulquiorra through his squinted voice quiet. "Was it hard? Letting go?"

Ulquiorra paused, deciding to let the walls come down. "Not as hard as holding onto something that was never meant to be in the first place." he said. His voice also void of emotion. "Some days I am not even sure she loved me the way I loved her."

_What is, is what must be._

"Then you really were blind on those days." Gin told him, shaking his head. "If she was your sun and stars, even if for a short time, you were obviously her moon that made the picture."

_Like you, for eighty years? _Ulquiorra thought, _Perhaps longer._

"Like you were?"

"Once." Gin answered. "Now, I'm not so sure. That's why I asked. If it was hard... letting go. Because if its hard, I wont feel so bad about not bein' able to do it."

"That will take time." Ulquiorra told him. "Time is supposed to make it easier."

"_Supposed_ to." Gin repeated, though with much sarcasm. "We'll see."

"Yes." Ulquiorra answered. "Anyway, I need to go. Just remember – I'm here if you need me. Meanwhile, I suggest you shower. You will feel better for it. Warm water dulls the aches." he turned and gave Gin a lopsided smiled. "I speak from similar experience."

"Thanks." Gin said, and with that the espada left him to his own devices.

Gin returned his gaze to the stars, Jacinto's words mocking him.

_Sousuke doesn't want you._ They echoed. And Aizen's words, _just because I don't love you. Doesn't mean I don't care, idiot. _With his mind only picking out _I don't love you_. And, _I don't care, idiot._

In the end, deciding all gods were deaf, he decided to go back, shower, and maybe get some sleep.

He got up slowly, finding out then just how much his joints ached when he stood and began to walk to his room. His joints creaked with every step he took, but he made the short walk to his room and into the en-suite bathroom, shutting the door behind him and turning the shower on. Letting the water warm up. He took off his blue yakuta and dropped it on the floor, and then stepped into the hot shower. The water soaking him and easing his aching joints. He closed his eyes and let the water wash over him, replaying the night before.

"_Are you sure you will be okay?" Aizen asked him, still gripping his hand._

"_I got no choice." Gin told him. "I 'ave to be okay. Don't I?" _

"_It's okay if you're not..." Aizen said gently, "I just wish I could do something to make it easier. I know..." he paused, as if unsure of what he wanted to say, "I know this isn't going to go away overnight. I know that. You know I don't believe in quick fixes. But I wish I could do something..."_

_Gin swallowed, shaking his head slowly. There was only one thing Aizen could do to make this easier..._

"_Just come back to me." Gin pleaded. "Just remember something... anything. Don't matter how small." _

_Gin paused for breath, only clutching onto his lover tighter. "Is fine if ya wanna be wi' her..." he added, "just at leas' remember the last eighty years o' yer fuckin' life wi' me..."_

_Aizen looked down at him, Gin's head on his chest, probably wondering how on earth he'd gotten into this position. _

"_Are you going to cry again?" he asked gently. If Gin didn't know any better he'd have thought Aizen didn't know what to say to the lover he didn't remember. Perhaps he was trying to find the words... _

"_No." _Yes.

"_Are you still upset with me?" Aizen asked again. He kept asking that now, as if Gin were suddenly going to change his mind. "Do you want me to go or..."_

"_No..." Gin prptested, "Stay. Jus' stay with me... please... for now."_

"_Okay. For now." _

_there was a pause. Aizen sighed. It was a long, tired sigh. "I wish everything weren't so screwed up."_

_Gin furrowed his eyebrows. "I just wish I knew then, what I know now." his voice was bitter. "Because then I wouldn' have even gotten myself into this mess... being with __**you. **__I'd be on my own, in another world, living quite happily without you. Maybe with someone else. Who knows. I just know I wouldn't be here, trying to tell you a story that makes no sense to you. An' you wouldn't be destroying me... over and over."_

_Aizen looked shocked. "Gin... that's..." _

"_Aand maybe then," Gin continued, angry, bitter, "I wouldn't lie... in bed... every night, wondering, if you'll actually remember this time. If your actually gonna come back... __**this time."**_

"_'this time'?" Aizen repeated. Evidently shocked. "there was a last time?"_

_Gin lowered his voice. "You never remember the other times."_

"_You mean, this has happened before?" _

_Gin didn't move. "yes." _

_Aizen swallowed. "Did I…" he sounded frightened. "did I hit you? Any of the other times?" _

"_What?"_

"_Is this..." Aizen stuttered, "am I... was I an abusive lover to you?"_

_Gin jolted. "What? No, no... no, gods no... never. You were..." he paused, remembering, thinking of how to say it without scaring him off. "Very opposite." he smiled. "Maybe not monogamous, but... never abusive."_

Though Jacinto sure did try. I'mma give 'im that...

_Gin felt Aizen sigh in relief. "Hm. So I have always been a cheat." he mused, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "How delightful." _

_Gin raised an eyebrow. "Ya always came back to __**me **__though. _

_Aizen pulled him closer. And Gin clung to him for grim death. _

"_Why don't you tell me the whole story..." _

_Gin sighed heavily. Tired. Tired of everything. "I could..." he started, "I could tell you all of our story... but it'd be meanin'less to you. It'd be like hearin' someone else's story. And even if I did you'd just forget it all again. And again. And again. Maybe not now, but sometime you would." _

"_Then why do you stay?"_

_Gin sniffed, lifting himselfoff Aizen's chest and looking at him sadly, "Because I love you." he said, reaching for Aizen's face, "So much."_

_Aizen just looked at him. He couldn't say the words back. The words would be lies._

_Gin let his hand drop. _

"_You can't answer can you?" Gin asked, though he knew the answer. He always knew the answer. "I mean, what do ya say when ya dont love someone... who obviously loves you?"_

_He paused, trying to breathe. If he did nothing else he had to remember to breathe. "I want you to come back..." he said, "I want you to remember and come back and..." he couldn't even finish. "and..."_

And what? Leave me? Be with her? Come back to me so we can do this all over again? What?

"_Because I don't think I can keep doing this..." Gin added, "I can't. Because this... this is torture. Not being able to kiss you, touch you..." _

_He paused again. He couldn't even finish this sentence either..._

"_Sun and-"_

_Don't." Aizen cut him off. "Don't think about that now. I'm here now. Isn't that enough?"_

_Gin shook his head. no. no it was never enough. Never would be. "No. Because, you're here, but you're not really... here. All I have is the empty shell. And a past that don't exist to you." _

_Aizen had the nerve to look shocked. "Gin... I... surely that's..." _

"_But it's true." Gin told him. "In your head... it does not exist."_

_And there it was. The wall. The great big gulf between them, settling in to stay. His own metaphorical equivalent of the Berlin Wall._

"_But if all I do is hurt you," Aizen started, his voice calm. Too calm. "Why not walk away? Why do you stay with me, knowing you're just going to get hurt again? Why not... leave me?"_

_Gin didn't know what to say. He'd said that while only holding Gin tighter. Why? _

_Gin trembled. "Are you suggesting I leave you?" _

"_I'm just trying to understand why you stay when I keep doing this to you."_

_Gin smiled. When he forgot, Aizen was very dense. "Love." Gin said. "An' perhaps a bit of masochism." he added sarcastically. Then softening his voice again, "But mostly because... the time you're with me is when you seem most... happy. An' I aint talkin bout the sex. I mean them everyday moments. Like jus' sittin' together..."_

_Aizen smiled. "Like now?"_

"_Yes." Gin murmured, steadily falling asleep. "Like now." _

Gin sighed, The daydream ended there. After that point yesterday he'd fallen asleep in warm arms. Aizen probably didn't have the heart to move and wake him. Perhaps only out of pity.

He turned the water off, satisfied that he was clean and that his joints felt less achy, and grabbed a nearby towel from the rail. He dried himself quickly, and then stepped into his room, rifling through his drawers for some clean clothes. Finding a clean hakama, he dressed quietly, then using the towel to dry his hair off before flopping onto the bed and crawling under the covers. Thinking of his lover again.

Would he remember? Who cared. Sleep was his lover now. His drug. His temporary forgetting. And Gin was grateful that his dreams were the only place reality couldn't touch; that even if only for a few hours, he could reach his lover. Even if only through the medium of dreams.


End file.
